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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24521821">Thief</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kidwiththecap/pseuds/Kidwiththecap'>Kidwiththecap</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Thief [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Dai-nana-han | Team 7 (Naruto)-centric, Dysfunctional Relationships, Emotional Roller Coaster, F/F, F/M, Haruno Sakura-centric, Long annoying narrative, M/M, Multi, Naruto is in love with everyone, POV First Person, Threesome - F/M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 08:36:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>126,858</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24521821</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kidwiththecap/pseuds/Kidwiththecap</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Naruto took things. He took your patience. He took your time. But most of all, he took hearts. He probably had a whole collection, stuffed somewhere in some basement, like a hoarder who wouldn't let go. Naruto never let go of your heart. And I mean never. He deserved my hatred. He deserved everything.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Thief [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1781800</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>70</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>69</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p>
<p>I am Sakura. I love Sasuke-kun and I hate Naruto. This had always been true. From the beginning. Since as long as I could remember, I was in love with Uchiha Sasuke. I don't even remember the first time I saw that beautiful raven-haired boy. It was too long ago, but I do remember announcing my infatuation to all my friends when I was six or seven, like I had just completed the most important task of my entire life.</p>
<p>"Don't tell us it's Sasuke, too!" cried one of the kids. Other people had noticed Sasuke-kun before I did. It's not much of a surprise when you really think about it. I was trapped too much in my fantasy world. I was never really aware of reality as a child. Somewhere, during the time of my infancy, my mother must have read me a princess story. One of those stories where the beautiful princess waits for a prince to save her and lives happily ever after with. That idea had griped me, for I was obviously no beautiful princess, or knew a prince, so I was doomed to never have something known as a 'happily ever after'. My two year old brain probably couldn't even decipher what 'happily ever after' meant. Of course not. Because I still don't know what it means. All I knew was that happy was good, and I must have it.</p>
<p>The first problem of this horrid dilemma that my mother had so carelessly thrown upon me, was that I was not, in no way, an attractive child. Many people would most likely not believe me, but it is true all the same, the evidence of such buried deep in a photo album that I have been unable to burn. My mother sure knew how to hide such things. I had an enormous forehead for a baby, my eyes spaced out too far apart. My mother told me that when I was learning to walk, I went everywhere head first, walls, tables, floors, like I was too top heavy to stay balanced. Later in life I grew into my head, but the trait was something that I was so sensitive about as a kid, that I used to try to hide it in anyway I could. My exotic pink hair just made it so much worse, as the unusual color would attract eyes, and then they would notice my extremely wide forehead.</p>
<p>Ino was the first friend I had. She was my rival. My sister. My drive. My confidence. Ino was pretty. All the pictures in my storybooks of princesses looked like her, flowing blonde hair and pale beautiful blue eyes. She taught me how to be an elegant princess. She taught me hiding my forehead made my problem worse. I should show off my traits with confidence. Confidence was attractive. Because of her, I felt pretty for the first time. She helped me complete the first part of my disillusioned "happily ever after". After that, all I had to do was find my prince.</p>
<p>My prince was Uchiha Sasuke of course. It had to be. He was the most skilled in just about anything in our age group; sports, grades, looks, ninjutsu, taijutsu, eventually genjutsu. He had a making of a real hero. He had all the skills. He would save me and make me happy.</p>
<p>Not Uzumaki Naruto. Naruto was a nobody. He sucked at everything, and he was loud, always getting into trouble. I didn't necessarily hate him then. Not really. I didn't know much of hatred for I was a young child, but as much dislike as I could feel for anyone, was associated to him. It became worse when I realized the little freak had a crush on me. It was downright gross. I was the biggest hypocrite of all seven year olds ever. I was so hooked on the Sasuke-kun craze, dreaming of marrying him, stalking him even, but this boy, who quite politely and kindly expressed his feelings to me, he was the worst thing. Naruto didn't pick on me, or throw rocks at me like most little boys with crushes did. It didn't matter. Naruto was the loser. I didn't like him, just like everyone else. And just like everyone else I liked Sasuke-kun. Nothing was personal.</p>
<p>In honesty, I probably hated Naruto before I was in love with Sasuke-kun. My attraction to Sasuke-kun as a child was based purely on what I could see on the outside, and what I heard from other people. I never talked to him before joining Team Seven. Not really anyway. I might have shouted a hello or a compliment, but it was never a conversation. He had never said anything back to me. It wasn't real love. I'm not sure when it turned real. I can't find that moment in my head when it clicked, and I realized that I hadn't be in love with Sasuke-kun before at all. Maybe because such moments happened at a multitude of times, each one, I would realize that I loved him so much deeper or was capable of than before, me falling even further and further into a hopeless bog of no returning from.</p>
<p>Naruto on the other hand, I can remember the moment of hatred quite clearly.</p>
<p>It was when he climbed up onto Sasuke-kun's desk, for no particular logical reason, glaring down into Sasuke-kun's perfect, unamused face, and fell stealing Sasuke-kun's first kiss.</p>
<p>The kiss that was supposed to be mine.</p>
<p>It didn't matter if it was an accident. I beat the shit out of Naruto regardless, abusing my training at the academy. I knew how to throw a punch.</p>
<p>I was a terrible kid. I treated Naruto horribly for almost the entirety of knowing him during our childhood. Most of the time, I'm humble enough to feel guilt over this, but not over the moment Naruto stole Sasuke-kun's kiss. I should have known then, just what Naruto would put me through. Naruto took things. He took your patience. He took your time. But most of all, he took hearts. He probably had a whole collection, stuffed somewhere in some basement, like a hoarder who wouldn't let go. Naruto never let go of your heart. And I mean never. He deserved my hatred. He deserved everything.</p>
<p>I didn't realize when Naruto took the first, and of course most important, thing from me. I would not learn of it until many years later, and it only took so long because I was stupid. Like I said before, I lived in a fantasy world as a child, and was blind.</p>
<p>I was blind to see that Sasuke-kun was broken when he joined Team Seven with me. Thinking back on it now, I really can't believe how stupid I was. He wasn't broken when I announced Sasuke-kun as my one and only. No, I briefly remembered a whole Sasuke-kun, clinging to his older brother's hand, radiating nothing but cute, lovely perfection. But how was it that I was not able to see the complete change of Sasuke-kun's soul shattering? I of course new about the massacre. Everyone knew of it. I didn't know all the details, but the rumors were everywhere. Yet that didn't really change my way of seeing Sasuke-kun as nothing but my prince. Maybe it did give him just a tad of darkness, a touch of mystery that fueled my naive fantasy. I don't remember very well. Just that I must have been a moron. I had been pursuing Sasuke-kun so hard at the academy that I never noticed when Naruto had took Sasuke-kun's first smile after Sasuke-kun had no more smile's left. He took the first stare, the first look of acknowledgement, after the death of Sasuke-kun's parents. I didn't know when this all happened, but the even stupid me was able to see signs of ... well, of something, by the time we were all twelve.</p>
<p>My first real conversation with Sasuke-kun, I must have been saying mean things about Naruto. What it was wasn't important. I was always saying mean things about Naruto. Everybody did. I was certainly not expecting Sasuke-kun to get angry and defend the idiot. Mostly, because Sasuke-kun had never defended anyone, much less Naruto. He stated that Naruto didn't have parents, that he didn't have anyone or anything. As if that meant he deserved the stuff he took, like my kiss from Sasuke-kun. I listened to Sasuke-kun anyway because anything he said was like a truth from a god. I started caring for Naruto only because Sasuke-kun had made me. That was why I had started. Maybe I would have never cared about any of this if it wasn't for Sasuke-kun. I wouldn't have done anything with my life. I would still be locked in my room at my parents's house, mourning my gigantic forehead.</p>
<p>Following Sasuke-kun's words, I looked at Naruto in a new light, but I was still stupid. I didn't see the other things, the other signs, that Naruto was stealing things.</p>
<p>As young children, we didn't like Naruto. The adults pretty much hated him, us kids took advantage of his status to make fun. We didn't stop picking on him, because he allowed us to. He allowed us to laugh and have as much fun as we pleased, and because of that, even though no one would admit to liking Naruto, we sort of all gravitated towards him. Once we graduated from the academy, we were less likely to deny our liking for the fool, though we weren't completely mature enough to stop our bantering. As we went on missions together, people who had never known Naruto as 'The Loser' admired him. Maybe not right off the bat, as Naruto was never good with tact when it came to some things, but admiration none the less. He made friendships like he stole hearts. Strangers, acquaintances, people that had known of Naruto all his life, they all fell in love with him. We all did. Sasuke-kun's heart was the first to be stolen. No one knew it when it happened. Not even Sasuke-kun. It certainly didn't seem like it at first, as Sasuke-kun's and Naruto's personalties clashed so much, but no one would have ever suspected what was to happen.</p>
<p>If existence could be seen as an art form, Sasuke-kun was an artist. As much as Naruto had always been unbridled passion and power, Sasuke-kun was all about the control. Every movement, every breath, every look was deliberate. His eyes were always focused, his face always concentrating. He moved with grace and beauty, dark hair spilling around his white face is such poetry. Sasuke-kun rarely made mistakes, for he was constantly aware of how he appeared to everyone around him. Anything sad or broken wouldn't be seen by anyone, especially by the likes of me, unless he wanted it to, which he did not. He didn't like anyone. He openly admitted to it. He didn't care about any of the girls that fancied over him. I was only tolerated because it was required as part of Team Seven. Every man was either a nuisance beneath him or a challenger that he had to beat. He was rude. He was mean. He was cold. Yet, I still loved him anyway, with an explanation that I didn't have, except maybe that for some reason, the entire tragic picture of him was just too beautiful to me. Sasuke-kun brooded a lot. Because what was art without a touch of sadness? What was art without just a hint of mystery? He could always be found with plenty of space between him and anyone, sitting, or resting against the wall, his face falling into a state of deep, calculating thought. He was always thinking. Because of this he rarely talked, and when he did, his deep voice was hard, stating things as facts, because what he said must be nothing but. He was too smart. He was thinking too much. Perhaps he had to, to make up for Naruto's lack of thinking. And my own, for whatever thought I had in my head was always revolving around Sasuke-kun and wasn't anything relevant. Our team was a mess. It seemed like such a recipe for failure.</p>
<p>There was constant fighting between Sasuke-kun and Naruto. You didn't antagonize the Uchiha and get away with it, but Naruto was relentless, and Sasuke-kun would not back down. I watched them fall apart, unable to do anything about it. There were times when I thought I would witness the two of them destroy each other. They're hatred for each other, the rivalry, the jealously, it was so intense and hard to understand.</p>
<p>I don't think Kakashi-sensei knew what to do about it either. He seemed to see the combination to be just as unhealthy as it truly was. He favored Sasuke-kun. At the time I thought it was because of Sasuke-kun's obvious skill and prodigy level of ninjutsu. I know now it was because Kakashi-sensei was worried about him. He could sense something wasn't right in his head. Naruto, Kakashi-sensei seemed to ignore all together. Feasibly it could have been because Naruto was too much for him to handle. Or maybe Kakashi-sensei thought Naruto needed to be ignored. As for I, Kakashi-sensei was at a lost of what to do with me as well. I think he felt somewhat uncomfortable around me honestly. He didn't know how to train a female ninja, and sometimes became even nervous around me whenever I informed him I needed feminine supplies while we were out on missions. The only thing Kakashi-sensei seemed to be able to bring himself to do for me was to put a smile on his hidden face, and lie to me calmly that everything was going to be alright, when it wasn't. I believed him anyway. Kakashi-sensei is a very good liar. Naruto is terrible. He would try to lie every once in a while, but it was always followed by a nervous laugh. Because of this when Naruto spoke, it was almost always the truth. Sasuke-kun didn't really lie, though it was mostly because he didn't talk, so he didn't tell the truth either.</p>
<p>We were a dysfunctional team, but I can't deny that we didn't have those golden moments. Well not really me. I didn't know my place in the world, but Sasuke-kun and Naruto, when they weren't fighting each other, they could work miracles. It was really amazing how well they worked together when they tried, like they knew what the other was thinking. They moved as one person, without much communication at all, and I found myself lonely and jealous watching them, like I wasn't part of it. I wasn't part of this team. Kakashi-sensei tried to console me that I was important. Often times, the reason why Sasuke-kun and Naruto had suddenly put aside their differences to fight like magic together was because they were protecting me. Kakashi-sensei tried to tell me I was the glue that held everyone together. It was a lie. Kakashi-sensei's always been a liar.</p>
<p>It wasn't because the two boys were in love with me. I wasn't that important. Hell, I was hardly any help in missions at all. Sure, I knew Naruto had a soft spot for me, and Sasuke-kun had seemed to get over his coldness and trust me over any other girl in the village, but I wasn't their most precious person. No, they were each other's.</p>
<p>I knew Sasuke-kun didn't reciprocate my feelings for him. He had no room for them, because he was too focused on his goal for revenge over his family's massacre. It still didn't matter to me. Revenge was only the first part of his goal after all. The second part was to restore his clan, and for that he was going to need a woman. If he focused so hard on the first part of his goal, I knew he would put just as much effort into the second part. I really thought I was going to have a chance. Sasuke-kun's attitude towards me was slowly changing. He still called me annoying most of the time, but he always kept one eye on me, always anticipating when he had to jump in and save me. I was hopelessly in the way all the time, and sometimes it didn't sit well with me that Sasuke-kun was smart enough to realize that I needed to be saved when I did. Yet he was always so gentle and tender when he picked me up to be swept out of harm's way. His other eye was of course on Naruto. He'd save Naruto too, though less often, and when he did he had no qualms on how he did it, kicking him harshly or shoving him away. I liked to tell myself he was gentler with me because he favored me over Naruto, but I was just more delicate. Even I had to admit there was something extremely satisfying about hitting Naruto. Perhaps both Sasuke-kun and I were addicted to it.</p>
<p>Sasuke-kun once threw himself in front of an attack to save Naruto. To save a precious person, his body had moved on its own, without his control. I had thought Sasuke-kun had died. It was the first time that my heart broke, but it was certainly not the last. I mean really broke. It wasn't like the many rejections Sasuke-kun would causticly throw at me when I asked him out, or being labeled as just as much of a loser as Naruto by him. This was true pain. Real pain when you're not fatally injured at all, but hurts so much more. It was starting to happen; I was falling in deeper. Sasuke-kun being sacrificial was even more endearing. My attachment to him grew once I knew he would risk his life, his goal on revenge, to save someone, so selflessly. I loved him even greater. Things become more precious when you almost lose them.</p>
<p>Sasuke-kun turned out to be alright, the attack not being fatal. I was so happy when I saw him open his eyes to look at me, with what could be called affection, for the first time, that I didn't notice the facts. I didn't think about how Sasuke-kun was willing to die for Naruto. Sasuke-kun was willing to leave me, for Naruto.</p>
<p>Of course Sasuke-kun had been willing to leave me for a lot of things. One of those things included power to kill his brother, Itachi, the murderer of his clan. No one told me about this. I didn't know who Sasuke-kun was so desperate to kill. I had to look it up on my own. I had to do research. Of course Naruto knew before I did. He had somehow knew more about Sasuke-kun than I, despite all of my persistence to be close to the lonely avenger. Naruto had stolen that from me too. Damn that little thief.</p>
<p>Sasuke-kun left me, off to Orochimaru and danger and darkness and revenge, without me. The situation was truly hopeless. There was nothing anyone could do about it. Sasuke-kun chose to leave us, and me seeing him again was close to zero. If I did see him again, he wouldn't be the same. He wasn't my prince. He wasn't going to come save me. We weren't going to live "happily ever after". My dream for the last six to seven years was gone forever. What was the point of existing?</p>
<p>It helped, in a selfish disgusting way, though it shouldn't be surprising because I've always been selfish, that he left Naruto too. Naruto who took things. Naruto who had snatched up the shards of Sasuke-kun's shattered heart and stashed them deep into his pockets. I don't know who was more hopeless and heartbroken with Sasuke-kun's deflection; me or Naruto.</p>
<p>"Don't worry! I'll bring him back! Promise of a lifetime!" Naruto had grinned so easily at me, that huge smile that split his face right in half, his thumb jutted up into the air. Princesses wait for heroes to come and fix their problems for them. Naruto threw his word at me, his promise, his ninja way, and I believed him. I believed that he could fix this. He took my anxiousness, my uneasiness, my tears. I felt all that leave me in a slow sigh, and Naruto took it from me, to stash it wherever he kept all his stolen things.</p>
<p>Of course Naruto failed that first time of trying to get Sasuke-kun back. He failed the second time too. And the third, and countless other times. We came to dead end after dead end, but the two of us, him and I, we didn't give up. Naruto and I were assigned other missions. As I started my medical training, I watched Naruto grow more and more powerful, doing amazing things. The more things he did manage to accomplish, the more hope I had that he would some day too, bring back Sasuke-kun. He had stolen my hope, my faith, my admiration, my loyalty. See what I mean about Naruto taking things? It made me hate him.</p>
<p>This was by far not the only thing I hated about Naruto. Oh no, there were many things. He was disgusting, he never kept his apartment tidy. He had horrible eating habits, and often because of this, had misplaced bodily functions. He was slow, and many things that were important flew over his head if they led to be too complicated. He complained constantly. He was stubborn, and once an idea got into his head, no reasoning could have ever changed his mind. Not that you had time to even try to argue with him as he was rash and would dive straight in. We lost the element of surprise on too many times to count. He had a knack of always getting into trouble. He had a perverted habit, and said things that just pissed me off in general.</p>
<p>He knew very well that I was in love with Sasuke-kun, that I had always been in love with Sasuke-kun, but that didn't stop him from hitting on me. He asked me out on dates more times than I can remember. He had a stupid smile that was affections. He had startling blue eyes that held every emotion he ever felt. His hair was the color of a sunny day.</p>
<p>As he got older, he grew out of his short stature. Well toned muscles glided under tanned skin when he moved like an unstoppable force of nature to whatever task that was set at hand. Girls would become smitten with his charm, him successfully fulfilling his promises to them, saving the day, and following his heart when a mission just didn't seem to set well with him. Naruto was a hero.</p>
<p>I still hated him. You can hate heroes. It's not impossible.</p>
<p>Naruto eventually left me too, you know? For the same reason Sasuke-kun did. While Sasuke-kun was away in parts unknown, seeking power with Orochimaru, Naruto soon left with Master Jiraiya to also train. Don't get me wrong. I snagged myself a Sannin to train with just as well, but I didn't have to go anywhere for it. Tsunade-sama and I were able to complete it all at home. I never could understand why Sasuke-kun and Naruto couldn't just do the same.</p>
<p>I missed both of them of course. I lamented over missing Naruto's obnoxious interruptions through out the day, and I longed for Sasuke-kun at night. My dreams were filled with Sasuke-kun returning, sneaking into my bedroom, his hands on my body-and then I would wake up. That, or Naruto would suddenly be in my dream, ruining the moment, but I wasn't even too upset when that happened. Dreaming about the two of them was better than being awake without them. Yet, it did bother me slightly when my brain would get Sasuke-kun and Naruto mixed up. It seemed like such an obvious mistake, as the two were so different, but I told myself it was normal. I had never spend too much time with Sasuke-kun without Naruto. The brain often gets confused in dreams.</p>
<p>Naruto seemed to be gone forever. Life in the village was too quiet, its people, like blood, pumped and moved so slowing though the heart, that life seemed barely alive at all. I wasn't the only one that missed Naruto's presence. Everyone did. They didn't really have a right to miss him though, not after the way they had treated Naruto in the past. Perhaps Hinata had a right to, but she would have been the only exception.</p>
<p>And me, because I felt like such a right was obligated to me. Naruto was part of my team. I had already lost Sasuke-kun. Naruto was more my hero than anyone else's because he had given me his word. Not that he hadn't given words to others, but my promise hadn't been fulfilled yet. Naruto still owed me, and until then, he would be mine. It wasn't because I wanted Naruto all to myself. It wasn't because I was in love with him. No, because I was in love with Sasuke-kun. Such facts were obvious when the both of them were around, but with Sasuke-kun gone, I couldn't see before me how Sasuke-kun was better than Naruto. And when Naruto was gone, I could not see how Naruto was worse.</p>
<p>Two and a half years went by before I saw Naruto again. Puberty started somewhere during that time span. He was no full grown man, that was for sure, but it was enough time for his voice to become more deeper, his hight to grow taller than I, and his movements more graceful. He still had that insanely yellow hair. His eyes still shown with every emotion he ever felt, and his smiled was still attractive. I had grown just enough to have those hormones, to have me blushing over him like the young girl I was. If he was all grown up now, if I felt these things after two and a half years, perhaps I would think of Naruto differently. He use to like me after all. He still liked me. Could he have liked me more now that I had grown?</p>
<p>"Are you kidding? Not really! You haven't changed at all!"</p>
<p>And if hearing him say things like that wasn't infuriating enough, Naruto had to discuss with Konohamaru who's sexy jutsu was better. Apparently, it was something they did often. You know, the young females they created to be the epitome of the perfect woman. Girls who weren't me. I was so angry. I was so furious with him in that one moment. I wanted to rip his clothes off. I wanted to see how the muscles in his torso had changed. I wanted to see what was beneath the rim of his pants.</p>
<p>But of course I didn't do that. I wasn't that insane. I did what I always did instead; Beat him into a bloody pulp. It was the closest thing I could do to what I really wanted to physically do to him. Whenever I had that feeling, to suddenly want to touch his body, I would just hit him. This is all because I hated him. He made me this way.</p>
<p>Naruto always annoyed me. Even more now that he was older. I hadn't thought it possible since the young boy was always getting on my nerves all the time with how immature he'd been. But now, more mature, it was worse. It wasn't just his body, though, I did find it annoying the way other women would look at him, but he was always getting himself in danger, needlessly hurting himself. He had the nine tails in him. He was a fast healer and sometimes seemed indestructible, but I still hated seeing him get hurt. I hated him hurt because that meant I had to heal him, and healing him meant putting my hands on different parts of him. Sometimes I thought he did it on purpose, just an excuse for me to touch him, like some pervy asshole who had no concern for his own well being.</p>
<p>Naruto was always full of himself, even when he had nothing to back it up with, but promises that he would be the next Hokage. Now that he had gotten stronger, it was unbearable. At first, I was impressed. Naruto always impressed me. Of course, because I was pathetic, and even though I had my few moments to shine and show off my unbelievable chakra control, the moment ended, and Naruto was again more incredible than I. Without Sasuke-kun around, there was no one more so.</p>
<p>I will admit, that all this anger, this jealousy and my short temper was most likely sexual frustration. At first I would kid myself that I was just at that age, my body was changing and I was craving to test out my sexuality. Naruto was just an eligible young male that I was constantly around. These sudden feelings for him had nothing to do with me being attracted to him specifically.</p>
<p>But I knew in the back of my head that I was making excuses. I was wrong. Why should I be so dazzled by Naruto's determination, his quick wit, his unorthodox methods? None of that was part of physical attraction. I was falling for Naruto's heart.</p>
<p>I cried over Sasuke-kun countlessly. I could have made an ocean with so many tears. I cried because he had left. But Naruto, Naruto gave me so many other reasons to cry. I cried over that he was the nine tails container, that the Akatsuki were after him. I cried when he couldn't control the demon inside of him and his own body worked against him. I cried whenever he cried, which was quite often for a boy. I tried to keep my tears in moderation. A ninja wasn't supposed to show emotion, and I knew I was very bad at following that rule. Naruto, he didn't even care about the rule at all. He openly cried in front of anyone for anyone. And of course, we'd both cry over Sasuke-kun.</p>
<p>I don't know why I was so emotional all the time. I couldn't blame it on being young. I couldn't blame it on having a tragic past. Others had always had it worse than me, and no one more worse than Naruto. Why was it that I would get so scared whenever Naruto was hurt, even though I knew he would be fine? He was always fine. His healing abilities were uncanny. But I didn't want to rely on that. It was just like me to think that Naruto was fine like all the other times he had been, only to find out this time, he was not.</p>
<p>"I won't ever die on you, Sakura-chan," he told me so seriously after a nine tails episode that I was healing him over. "I'm not going anywhere yet," he would grin. "I have too much to do. I have to bring Sasuke back, become Hokage and even after that, I won't ever leave you behind. I'll make sure you're never alone." And that sent me sobbing, Naruto reading me so well. I had always feared of being left behind.</p>
<p>I knew, I would most likely would have fallen in love with Naruto. I would have wanted to, eventually, go out with him, start a relationship, maybe even get married.</p>
<p>But I wasn't in love with him. I was still in love with Sasuke-kun. I had forgotten how much until I saw that cold Uchiha again.</p>
<p>If I thought the years had been kind to Naruto, I had no idea what they would have done to someone who was already so beautiful as Sasuke-kun was. When I first saw him, I had no control over my body. I could say no words, even though there was so much I wanted to tell him, wanted to ask him. All I could do was whimper out his name as I was totally lost in the sight of him.</p>
<p>He stood against the sun, a perfect silhouette, like a grand opening for the bane of my existence to reenter my life, a bane that I would gladly welcome back. I couldn't have forgotten his face with how often I stared at my picture of him, but my eyes had focussed on features that were less prominent now, and age had made parts of his face that I had never really notice before stand out. I had never realized that I was in love with the way that Sasuke-kun's cheeks sat on his face, or the curve of his chin and the angle of his jaw. I loved the way his neck sloped into the broad shoulders that Sasuke-kun used to not have. I wanted to press my lips to the adam's apple that had developed upon his throat. His hair was a tad longer than it was in my picture. It danced in the wind as this man stared down at me. My eyes drifted downward over what was exposed of his chest. The fabric open, each plain and muscle developed faultlessly. His lethal body seemed relaxed, but poised for some devastating attack that I was sure he could perform in the blink of an eye. He was oh so much taller than before.</p>
<p>And of course there were things about him that were the same, that I instantly recognized and had always loved. The way his eyes could bore into souls, dark, thoughtful, menacing, the way he would have had always stared at an enemy. His stance was the same, cool, but collected. The way he said both of Naruto's and my name, hard, like a demand. This was Uchiha Sasuke. But even the similarities were still different. They were more cold, and even harsher than before.</p>
<p>I was the first one to see him. I saw him before Naruto did, though Naruto wasn't too far behind me as he rushed into the open air. My name was the first word Sasuke-kun uttered, but once Naruto was in our presence, Naruto's name was soon next, and all of Sasuke-kun's attention was stolen by Naruto. They even went so far as to have a conversation with each other. About, I had no idea, even though I was there, just that it seemed like Sasuke-kun wanted to kill Naruto. But Sasuke-kun had always acted like he wanted to kill Naruto. Hell, I wanted to kill Naruto, for he was just standing there, in the center of Sasuke-kun's attention.</p>
<p>And then Sasuke-kun was gone. Like he always would be. He was always gone.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I'm sorry," I said, finally catching Naruto alone as the rest of our team had already headed for bed. We stood outside of the fire temple, Naruto grabbing some fresh air before ending his day.</p><p>Naruto stared at me with his bewildered crystal blue eyes for about ten seconds, before the rest of his face fell into a frown, his brow arching skeptically. I was annoyed at first that he was confused, until I realized that maybe he had a right to be this time. I very rarely ever apologized to Naruto.</p><p>"For assuming..." I paused, trying to figure out how to word this correctly, "that you were kissing the enemy on your own accord. Even you wouldn't stoop so low. I should have realized that it was part of a deadly jutsu and acted in haste to help you rather than scold you. If I had kept my mouth shut, maybe my attack could have landed its hit."</p><p>"Oh!" Naruto's eyes changed, suddenly radiating now that he understood what I was talking about. "Yeah, that slut tried to catch me with her death kiss jutsu . You know me, Sakura-chan, I wouldn't be caught by the charms of the enemy no matter how attractive they are!" He laughed, a slight nervous laugh, the type of laugh that would sometimes accompany a failed attempted lie. "And she wasn't even my type to begin with so she didn't have a chance. Me falling for that? Ha! I invented sexy jutsu ! I'm practically immune to being seduced!"</p><p>"Okay, that's enough!" He was talking too much. Naruto never knew when to shut up. "I'm just sorry, okay? Do you accept my apology?"</p><p>"Of course I do, Sakura-chan!" and there it was, that beaming smile. "Not the weirdest thing to happen to me."</p><p>I grunted. It certinly wasn't. Anything weird happening was always Naruto related. "Though I feel kinda bad," I said, an air of teasing now lacing my voice. "Your first kiss from a girl was trying to kill you," I couldn't help it. It was funny. Well, it became funny once I realized that Naruto wasn't really locking lips with the woman because he wanted to, and that he turned out to be okay afterwards when she couldn't handle his chakra.</p><p>"That wasn't my first kiss!" Naruto defended.</p><p>I glared at him. "I said first kiss from a girl, moron! Sasuke-kun doesn't count!" It irked me that Naruto would constantly use that accident with Sasuke-kun as a real kissing experience. Sure, people made fun of him for it, but it wasn't a real kiss. There was no intention, or desire so what was the point?!</p><p>"Why shouldn't it count?" Naruto replied, crossing his arms stubbornly. "I'm not ashamed." Ha! He sure seemed to be when his other friends tormented him about it. This new attitude was only to vex me. I knew it.</p><p>"Because it was an accident."</p><p>Naruto blew air through his lips. "Are you going to say the other time with him was an accident too?"</p><p>I had started to walk away from him, assuming our conversation was just about done, but I spun around sharply at this news. "What other time?!"</p><p>"Remember? When Sasuke and I were stuck together? We tried to pull apart from that weird stretchy stuff and smacked back. I'm pretty sure I had tongue in my mouth that time. That's gotta be extra points or something."</p><p>"WHAT?! What do you mean?!"</p><p>Naruto stared at me like I was the moron. He held up a finger from each hand, holding them together. "This is Sasuke," he motioned with one hand. "And this is me, and we jumped from a waterfall, aiming a rock in between us and then we bounced," Naruto illustrated with his hands. "splat!" he clapped his hands together.</p><p>I frowned at him. "That doesn't sound like an intentional kiss either!"</p><p>"Okay, whatever. But if an accident keeps happening, maybe it's not such an accident. I'm just saying!"</p><p>"Shut up! Sasuke-kun wouldn't do it on purpose!"</p><p>Naruto shrugged.</p><p>I hit him. I liked to do that.</p><p>"Ow!" He rubbed his shoulder. "Well anyway. I've been kissed by a girl before too," he grinned.</p><p>"What? Who on earth?!"</p><p>"Isaribi," Naruto announced with the smuggest look that I had ever seen on his face.</p><p>It took me a moment to realize who he was talking about. I normally had a very good memory when it came to faces and names. Then it came to me. "Isaribi? That outcast girl from the Land of the Sea?!" She had followed Naruto home after one of his missions. It wasn't much surprising, since at this point in Naruto's life, girls started to take notice of him. She had stayed in the village for a time, Naruto being her only friend, and he had made extra effort to pay attention to her. She had eventually left as she felt she didn't fit in the village, much to Naruto's extreme disappointment.</p><p>"Yep! Kissed me right on the lips," he said, tapping his mouth.</p><p>"I don't believe you."</p><p>"What?!" Naruto's eyes and mouth opened wide in shock. "It happened!"</p><p>"Yeah, whatever." I turned up my nose.</p><p>"Why don't you believe me?! You jealous or something?"</p><p>I let out an unimpressed laugh. "Why would I be jealous for?!"</p><p>"I don't know." Naruto scratched the back of his head. "Have you ever been kissed before, Sakura-chan?"</p><p>I blushed and tried to hide it by facing away from him. It was for naught though because Naruto saw my reaction before I could conceal it, and even a simpleton as he could read the expression.</p><p>"You haven't?!" I wanted to smack him. Naruto was loud and I didn't exactly want him to announce to everyone that I had never been kissed before. The both of us were already fifteen, and the likes of Naruto had gotten more action than I had. "Not even by Bushy Brow?"</p><p>"What? Of course not! Why would I ever kiss him for?"</p><p>"I don't know. I just remember hearing Bushy Brow say if he didn't kiss you within a year, he'd do one million laps around the village on his thumbs."</p><p>I thought for a moment, remembering him doing just that a few years back. "Well that explains that, then."</p><p>"Wow! I can't believe you've never been kissed before, Sakura-chan!"</p><p>"What's that supposed to mean?! Who the hell do you think I'd be kissing?!"</p><p>"Well, I-" and then he stopped himself, suddenly aware of what should have been a most obvious fact. The reason was because Sasuke-kun had left. "Whoa. So... you're just gonna wait around for Sasuke then." He didn't say it as a question, though I don't think he understood the statement. He just knew it to be my intention. After a pregnant silence, I suddenly decided I had enough of Naruto's company and was ready for bed, but he spoke again as I was moving away. "You really going to just wait for him? I mean, you're not gonna kiss anybody, until he comes back? You might have to wait for a long time."</p><p>I clenched my fists. "So what of it!?"</p><p>"It's just, it's not like he's going to wait for you. I mean he's already kissed me twice-" And that was it. That was as much patience as I could handle. I swung at him, letting my chakra solidify around my first for a deadly blow.</p><p>You'd think Naruto would never learn. He continually would stick his foot deeper into his mouth and you realized that he would never change or grow from his mistakes.</p><p>Until he did.</p><p>Naruto anticipated my attack and dodged, grabbing my wrist. "I'm just saying!" he exclaimed, out of breath when my fist hit a tree he had been in front of and it cracked the wood. "Is just that you might want to practice before you try to do it with the one you really want. You know, so it's not awkward and gross. Like training!"</p><p>"What are you saying?" I growled.</p><p>"Just that if you wanted to practice or something... I'm willing to help you, you know, share some of my experience with you."</p><p>"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE! You're just trying to get me to kiss you!"</p><p>"No I'm not! I mean, it's a perk but-"</p><p>"Shut up! No way in hell! I'm never, ever, ever going to kiss you, so stop trying!"</p><p>"Man, Sakura-chan! You're always so harsh! I was just trying to help you out!"</p><p>I rolled my eyes and muttered, "trying to help me out," mockingly. "Goodnight Naruto!"</p><p>"G'night!" he responded unfazed from my rejection. He never was. He'd continue again some other time. The dimwit never gave up.</p><p>As I got ready for bed, I found myself thinking about Naruto's offer. First, because I was angry at the suggestion, and I couldn't sleep while I was mad, but the more I thought about it, the more I imagined it happening. The idea of Naruto's warm mouth against mine didn't seem as unpleasing when he tried to kiss me at seven. I didn't believe that Naruto had cooties anymore. He wasn't completely disgusting. He even had many attributes that were attractive about him.</p><p>But no, I would never kiss him. I was in love with Sasuke-kun. Sasuke-kun would be my first kiss.</p><p>Yet, what if I never saw Sasuke-kun again? The thought was something I had felt often, everyday even, the misery slowly draining away my will. I had to constantly build myself up again, get myself to be stronger, as the exhausting feeling would weakened me. Maybe that was why I never felt like I made much progress in my training.</p><p>I shook my head and laid down onto my sleeping mat. No, I couldn't give up. Naruto wasn't giving up on him. How could I? I was the one in love with Sasuke-kun. I was going to save him. The notion kept me going.</p><p>That, and thinking about Naruto. In a strange way, it helped me considerably to see how dedicated Naruto still was into finding Sasuke-kun. Naruto would talk about Sasuke-kun all the time, even though the name had become taboo for everyone else in the village. I knew I couldn't rescue Sasuke-kun by myself, or convince anyone else that he was important enough to save, not without Naruto's help.</p><p>Sometimes, Naruto and I would sit together and do nothing but talk about Sasuke-kun. We brought up old memories, laughing at Sasuke-kun's weird personality quirks and tell each other how much we missed him. The conversation would bubble inside me, and make me feel hopeful and good again. Naruto talked more than I, and listening to him say nothing but good things about Sasuke-kun, I knew he cared just as much for him as I did. Sometimes I would feel it was all for my sake, that tad, little bit of guilt, that Naruto was only doing all of this to get me to like him, but it couldn't be. How could Naruto be this devoted to Sasuke-kun, just for me?</p><p>I smiled to myself. Naruto, always worming his way into my thoughts. He always had my back, no matter what. I could break every bone in his body and he'd still be willing to come help me at any sort of problem I had. Perhaps, kissing him, just for practice anyway as he put it, could be a good idea. If I made it clear that it was just practice, it wasn't like Naruto was going to betray me. I could trust him to understand. Naruto would still be willing to kiss me anyway.</p><p>This way of thinking hid all the guilt that such things could hurt Naruto's feelings. Naruto was so strong. I had seen him do so much. He had been just fine whenever I beat him up afterwards. Sure, maybe I had to heal a few bones sometimes, but he never blamed me. It never occurred to me that I could hurt Naruto. Perhaps at fifteen, I was still rather dumb.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><p>"Arugh!" Naruto somehow made the ungodly noise as he drank the water I offered him at the same time. "Thanks, Sakura-chan," he said quickly before downing more of it. "Why are people so aggravating! First it was Sai, now it's Sora, I mean come on! It's not hard to not be difficult!"</p><p>"I'm sure you'll get to Sora eventually. You always do," I said wistfully. Naruto knew my thoughts were going to Sasuke-kun once again. His gaze hardened on mine, as if saying 'I couldn't get through to Sasuke.' I smiled at him. "Just give it more time," an answer for both situations. "You've been training very hard. No use overworking your body because of stress."</p><p>"Yeah, the training, in a weird way sort of relaxes me. Do you get what I mean? It might be different with you though. Medical training boggles my mind. I feel like it must just give you a headache."</p><p>I laughed and waved my hand. "I'm not saying it doesn't get complicated sometimes, but I wouldn't say it gives me a headache. Actually though," I smiled at him, becoming nervous all of a sudden. "I was wondering if you could... help me out, on some ... 'training'."</p><p>"I don't know, Sakura-chan," Naruto sighed, sucking on the water bottle while still talking around it. "I've never been very good at that type of stuff. Unless you need to borrow some chakra, but that's the only thing I think I can offer."</p><p>"It's not medical training," I said, averting my gaze away.</p><p>"Chakra control? I'm super bad at that!"</p><p>"No you buffoon! Remember? You said you'd 'help me out' with that other thing?" We weren't in hearing distance of anyone, but Asuma-sensei and Sora were still on the other side of the training grounds.</p><p>Naruto narrowed his eyes at me. I watch them widen like he remembered what I was talking about before shaking his head and rethinking. "Do I... owe you money?"</p><p>"No! The experience you have more than me?"</p><p>"With the nine tails?"</p><p>I put my hand over my forehead, losing my nerve. "Forget it, Naruto. It's nothing." I turned to leave, but Naruto grabbed my wrist.</p><p>"No! I wanna help!"</p><p>I sighed. "You don't even know what is it."</p><p>"It doesn't matter! I'd help you with anything, Sakura-chan!" I stared at Naruto, not letting such a statement effect me. Naruto was always making promises unknowingly to girls. I had watched so many of them fall in love under his gaze. It could take as little as two seconds, and Naruto never had any idea on what he had just done. I wasn't going to be as foolish as they were. I had already made that mistake over Sasuke-kun.</p><p>"Okay, come on," I said, pulling my grip easily out of Naruto's hand before taking his arm. I led him to a more heavily treed aria. "We'll do it over here."</p><p>"W-w-wh-what!? Do it?! This is so sudden! I-I-I don't know if I'm ready! We're not prepared!"</p><p>I smacked him "NO moron! The kiss thing!"</p><p>I watched Naruto wordless repeat 'kiss' with his mouth as his mind worked on over drive to stay with me. "You mean you want me to give you your first kiss?"</p><p>I groaned. "Just to get it over with, okay?! Nothing more than that!" I said quickly, wishing I could back out of this now. But it was too late. All my chances were gone.</p><p>A sudden seriousness incased Naruto's face. "I'd be honored to give you your first kiss, Sakura-chan."</p><p>I was taken a back for second before I regained myself. "There's gotta be rules though," I said holding up a finger. "Just one kiss. Nothing more." Naruto nodded. "And keep your hands to yourself."</p><p>"Of course."</p><p>"Don't tell anyone!"</p><p>"I won't."</p><p>"Just one kiss," I repeated, staring at Naruto's mouth apprehensively. He was waiting for me to make the first move. I realized I was going to have to stand on my tiptoes. That annoyed me. He realized my predicament as well, and tiled his head so that the rise to meet him was less of a distance.</p><p>I bit back a sigh. I couldn't believe I was kissing Naruto. Or maybe I could believe it. I pressed my mouth against his, finding that my hand went to his arm to keep my balance. He lowered his head further, lips still locked with mine as my heal returned to the ground. This wasn't so bad. I should pull away now. The deed had been done.</p><p>But before I could, I felt Naruto's lips push against mine. I should do the same, right? That was how one was supposed to kiss, but Naruto kept moving his lips and before I knew it, I felt wet, warm saliva as they parted. Then his tongue grazed my bottom lip.</p><p>I pushed him away. "Ew! Gross!" I immediately wiped my mouth. He blinked wildly at me. "Who said you could try to put your tongue in my mouth!?"</p><p>"You didn't say not to," Naruto said simply.</p><p>I couldn't believe I forgot that rule. "Well I meant to!" I wiped my mouth again. I couldn't get the feeling of Naruto's dried saliva off my lip. The kiss had started out nice enough, but then of course Naruto had to ruin it.</p><p>"Sorry."</p><p>"It's fine," I heard myself saying. It wasn't Naruto's fault. Naruto was only doing what I had asked of him. "Thanks."</p><p>Naruto beamed.</p><p>And I wondered, how many other first kisses would Naruto manage to steal from others.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><p>She had to be the greatest kinoichi in history. I've done a lot of study, and there wasn't anyone who even came close to her. We lived in a rather sexist society. The majority of the ninja population had always been men. It made sense, I guess. The stupidly of playing war was very much a man's game, yet some women were just so much better at it.</p><p>I honestly wasn't sure how Tsunade-sama did it. When it came to actual, physical power, there was no one to rival her in the village, expect for, maybe, Naruto, if he ever could learn how to control his chakra. When it came to strategy, and brains, she was right up there with all the great leaders of the five nations. When it came to medical ninjutsu she was the best ever. It didn't matter if she was a woman. She was better than most of the men. And still she was beautiful, over fifty and still looking in her twenties.</p><p>She had perfect nails, perfect hair, a constant expression that you didn't dare mess with. She had a bust size larger than I ever would like to admit to and still kept her slim waist. How was it that she could have everything? She was one of the legendary Sannin. She was the one that first had the idea to have a medical ninja on every three man squad. There was no one I respected, looked up to, or wanted to be more, than my teacher.</p><p>I thought so highly of her, that I couldn't see her being anything but completely in control of any sort of situation. All people have faults. I knew she had one fiery temper. Hell, I had a fiery temper. But it was hard to see any of the three Sannin as the humans they really were. You couldn't see any of them actually dying, no matter how much I wished Orochimaru would. The three of them were just simply too powerful.</p><p>But they could die. First we heard of Orochimaru's death, but that didn't bring back Sasuke-kun. And then it was Master Jiraiya. Tsunade-sama was the only one left.</p><p>Several weeks had past since the Toad Sage's death. It made the office of the Hokage feel colder, but nothing stopped. Time didn't stop. Life didn't stop. Everyone carried on as usual. It wasn't too hard for the village to do so. Master Jiraiya had never been in the village for long. His absence wasn't something obviously noticed.</p><p>Tsunade-sama acted how she always did, as the Hokage. She carried on so normally, that I was surprised. I was shocked when I found her. I never really thought of Tsunade-sama as the type of person that hid her emotions. A woman with a temper such as her's shows lots of feelings. I know. But I'm nothing like Tsunade-sama. You can't even attempt to compare me to her greatness. I have never been good at concealing my feelings. Tsunade-sama, of course, was. She was a ninja. She was the Hokage. She had to.</p><p>But even the Hokage shows weakness every once in awhile.</p><p>I had been staying out late, working and practicing my medical training. I always had to be doing things to make me feel like I was being helpful. I hardly was ever at my house when not on missions. The reason was to avoid my parents. I would rather be with the injured and dying, than discuss with my parents my rather large interest in a certain, rouge ninja.</p><p>Hospitals involved lots of paperwork. There was a lot of people to keep track of. I didn't mind the paperwork actually. It was relaxing, and reading things in your own head is a nice change over trying to order people around all day. Tsunade-sama was not only the Hokage, but was often in charged with what went on in the hospital, and because of this, most important forms could be found in her office. When I noticed her light was still on, I decided to go in there to get a copy of a needed form, figuring it would be quicker than trying to dig it up elsewhere. I had also planned on asking her a question about a specific patient.</p><p>Tsunade-sama always pretended to be annoyed if you interrupted her. Who wouldn't, with Naruto being constantly annoying all the time, antagonizing her and wanting more work to do, but she wasn't actually annoyed. She looked forward to it because it gave her a distraction from her work. Tsunade-sama didn't like paper work. I knew she would have accepted my visit with a smile and would be glad to answer my question.</p><p>But when I knocked on her door, I got a very disgruntled grunt in responds. I didn't even realize it was Tsunade-sama that had made the noise. I embarrassingly thought it was a man.</p><p>When I opened the door, I was beheld with the sight of Tsunade-sama laying flat on her back on top of her desk, piles of paper spilt on the floor. She had one leg casually bent and resting on her raised knee. One hand sat on her stomach, as another one clutched a glass. Her listless honey brown eyes stared at the ceiling so intently, that I looked up as well to see what could be so interesting. I don't know why that was the first thing I noticed; the ceiling. Maybe I was trying not to notice the flush that covered over Tsunade-sama's skin. I didn't want to admit to what I had stumbled upon.</p><p>"Whadda ya want," Tsunade-sama snapped, voice heavy with saki and there was no pretending now.</p><p>"Oh. It's not important. I just..." I shouldn't have bothered her. I could have gotten the paper somewhere else. I tried to think of something to say that would allow me to leave without looking rude. There was nothing. So instead I blurted out, "Are you alright Tsunade-sama?" because I could never resist trying to be helpful, even when I wasn't of any help at all. How could this have happened? "Where's Lady Shizune?" Shizune would have never let this happen. Tsunade-sama was always trying to sneak a drink or two in while she worked, but Shizune kept a close eye on her.</p><p>Tsunade-sama jutted her thumb to the other side of the desk. A quick peak from me discovered Shizune past out on the floor behind. "Kid's a fucking light weight," Tsunade-sama rasped.</p><p>"Should we-"</p><p>"She's fine. She's just asleep. You think I wouldn't know that?! Whadda ya want anyway, Sakura?"</p><p>"Nothing! It was nothing really, I'll just-"</p><p>"Nah, stay Sakura! Give me some company." Tsunade-sama grabbed my wrist and yanked me around the desk. "Have a seat." I found myself landing on the Hokage's chair. "It's good karma. When you're old everyone dies on you. Maybe some young person will be nice enough to give you some company someday. Shizune's not doing a good job." She then said in a louder voice directed to Shizune's still form, "Jiraiya could keep up with me, ya know!"</p><p>With the mentioning of Master Jiraiya's name, I realized what this was all about, and I became even more uncomfortable. If it was anyone else, I think I would have been able to find words of comfort, but not Tsunade-sama. She was the Hokage. She was supposed to be helping others and not needing the help herself. Of course, I knew she was only human. She needed aid. But what could I do? I could always do nothing.</p><p>"Did you..." I started, trying to get the most information out of the situation as I could before proceeding. "Did you guilt Lady Shizune into drinking with you?" I still couldn't get over the fact that Shizune let this happen. She was the one that was supposed to be keeping Tsunade-sama in check. She should be doing this now.</p><p>"I don't know what you're talking about!" Tsunade-sama responded. "I don't make anyone do anything!" I narrowed my gaze at her suspiciously. "You want one?" Tsunade-sama offered, staring at me upside down from where she laid on the desk, nudging a small cup already full of saki in my direction.</p><p>"Tsunade-sama, I'm not of age," I responded.</p><p>Tsunade-sama laughed, a loud breath bursting from her lips. "I guess not, huh? Old enough to kill but not old enough to drink. How messed up is that?"</p><p>"Tsunade-sama-"</p><p>"This world's fucked up."</p><p>"It'll be alright," I said, a line that I think I had used a thousand times. It was what I would say when I was protecting my charge. I would say it to the frightened villagers. I would console a child with those words. I would say them to Naruto. But Tsunade-sama, she was too wise and experience to take comfort in trivial lies. I continued on anyway, for she was staring at me with thoughtful eyes. "We will figure this all out. I'm sure the Leaf will survive this. We will get rid of the Akatsuki. I'll do my best-"</p><p>Tsunade-sama burst out laughing again. "I wanted to tell you something, Sakura." She reached out an arm to point at me. "I wanted to tell you not to get old like me, but it's too late for you. You're already damaged a little. Just gonna get worse with age." Tsunade-sama sighed. "The only thing old people can do is tell the younger generation to not turn out like them, and then watch as they turn out just the same. The world's fucked up!"</p><p>I pressed my lips together. I didn't know what to say. I never knew what to do. I sat there, uncomfortable, in the Hokage's chair. Why did Naruto ever want to be in this chair? Why did Naruto ever want to go out of his way to try to help people's problems, to be in situations like this?</p><p>"I'm sorry," Tsunade-sama suddenly said. "I'm a terrible person. Forgive me."</p><p>"Oh, no, Tsunade-sama! You're not-"</p><p>"I am! Don't argue with me!" I shut my mouth. I didn't dare too. I never did. "Whadda 'bout you Sakura? How are you doing? How are you feeling?"</p><p>"I-I'm doing fine." Tsunade-sama didn't believe my lie.</p><p>She pushed herself up to a sitting position on her desk. Her arms seemed to strain under her own weight, her breasts threatening to drag her back down again. Her skin was flushed as she turned to face me. "Listen, Sakura, I like you. You're one of my favorites." She narrowed her eyes. "Don't tell Shizune. That's not what I mean. I mean, you have so much potential. It's really... incredible. But I'm worried about you."</p><p>"Worried about me?" At the moment, Tsunade-sama seemed to be in need of more worrying. I was afraid she was going to fall off her desk.</p><p>"I don't want you to waste it all, ya know? Don't waste all your potential chasing after that Uchiha boy."</p><p>Tsu-Tsunade-sama!" I stammered, blushing and looking away. I hated talking about this. I hated talking about this with anyone. I would refuse to talk about Sasuke-kun with anyone unless it was with Naruto. Naruto was the only one that was on my side.</p><p>"Shudup for a moment and let me talk. Just listen for a second." She swayed a little, holding up her hand. "Men die," she said harshly. "They fucking die on us, because they're fucking stupid." She jabbed a finger into my arm. "There's nothing we can do to change them. They're just stupid."</p><p>I let out a breath. This was about Master Jiraiya after all, but I couldn't help feel the feeling of dread. Sasuke-kun would die, wouldn't he? The path he was traveling on was heading straight to his demise. I felt my chest tighten and my eyes begin to burn. No Sakura, don't cry in front of Tsunade-sama. For once in your life, don't cry.</p><p>"You don't have to be only about him, ya know? Sure, I understand Sasuke Uchiha was your first love. That's a real thing. But the heart doesn't always have to love once. We seem to live too long for that."</p><p>I blinked, trying to keep my eyes under control as Tsunade-sama continued.</p><p>"And Naruto," Tsunade-sama gritted her teeth and shook her head. "I'm not trying to set you up or anything. Ignore this if I'm wrong, but if you have any sort of feelings for that idiot you better do something before it's too late. Soon, the little fuck'll be dead too. There just too much the same," she muttered.</p><p>I quickly wiped away a tear before she could notice. She was talking about Master Jiraiya again. Naruto was like Master Jiraiya. Tsunade-sama and Master Jiraiya had never been a couple, but when they were together, anyone could sense the chemistry between them. The two of them knew each other for so long, it was a wonder why they hadn't gotten together yet. Of course, now Master Jiraiya was dead. Tsunade-sama was feeling regret. She was hating herself so she let herself get trashed in her own office.</p><p>"Forgive me," Tsunade-sama said again. "Ignore me. I'm a terrible person. I shouldn't be upsetting you like this." She pushed herself to the edge of the desk, her feet hitting the floor. "Help me get Shizune to bed, will ya?" I got up to carry the Hokage's other student, the drunken, lonely words of Tsunade-sama burning into my chest.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Me falling for Sasuke-kun was like sinking slowly into a bog, as I mentioned before. I willingly walked into its darkness. Maybe from faraway, it looked like a nice pleasant field, but it certainly was not. I kept sinking and sinking as time went on. It was inescapable.</p>
<p>Falling in... well in hate, we will call it, with Naruto, was like standing at the edge of a cliff. Curiosity kept pulling me closer to the edge, even though the signs in my mind told me caution. I had been able to keep to the cliff's edge for a long time, despite the situation. Sasuke-kun was gone. People expected me to move on. Naruto and I were so close. I don't know if it was the talk that pushed me over the edge, or kept me stubbornly hanging on. Tsunade-sama often preached that us women didn't need any men, but I knew she would have preferred me to choose Naruto over Sasuke-kun. Captain Yamato noticed it, and he hadn't even known Naruto and I for very long. I suppose me crying at my uselessness to help Naruto find Sasuke-kun made me look quite pathetic, and it was clear how Naruto's pain was effecting me. I cared about Naruto, and it was well beyond over the fact that Naruto gave me his word to save Sasuke-kun. Captain Yamato, in his calm, comforting, logical voice told me that my feelings for Naruto were obvious. Sai had said something. Sai who felt nothing, noticed. Sai, who had been reading about how to interact with people, and who I was beginning to think was teaching himself on how to flirt with me, thought I was in love with Naruto. This was according to his books anyway. But neither of those people or their words had pushed me over the edge.</p>
<p>No. It had been Hinata.</p>
<p>Naruto had always been somewhat of an every day hero. He helped people. He stole hearts. He did things that seemed impossible. He was able to solve problems in unconventional ways. He was a ninja, but Naruto rarely had to kill anyone. Any life he did take wasn't much of a life anymore anyway. He saved the enemy almost as often as he saved the people who he was to protect. If he couldn't save a life he had at least stolen their heart before they were gone. It was truly amazing. We were at war with the Akatsuki and he wasn't taking lives.</p>
<p>The attack by Pein was truly devastating to the village. So many people around us were dying. I was doing all I could to save as many as possible, but right in the midst of that, the hospital was gone in a pile of rubble, and so was the village.</p>
<p>Then Naruto came and solved everything. It was like the catastrophe was erased as souls that should have been gone were returned. He defeated a great enemy, and still he didn't even kill Pein himself. He only changed his heart. All single handedly.</p>
<p>If there was anyone in the village that still held dislike for Naruto, it was now long gone. It was also sometime during all this chaos that Hinata had confessed the feelings she had had for Naruto since as long as anyone had known her for.</p>
<p>Hinata had always loved Naruto. Probably just as long as I had been in love with Sasuke-kun, if not longer. Everyone knew this. Well, everyone knew this except for Naruto.</p>
<p>Naruto had been hated by the villagers for so long, that I think he might have been in shock. There was something there that wouldn't let him understand Hinata's confession. Over time, Naruto had gained many friends, and he loved them fiercely, using them to replace his lack of family. The love for them was so strong, perhaps he didn't know the difference in what Hinata had meant. To Naruto, Hinata couldn't be in love with him, because he never thought anyone could be. I had continually denied him, despite how much Naruto had impressed me, despite how much I cared for him. I wouldn't have been surprised if I had became the closest person to Naruto after Sasuke-kun left, and yet I wouldn't return his feelings. I don't think Naruto thought it was possible for anyone to, if I couldn't.</p>
<p>And I, a selfish and terrible person as I've always had been, panicked. One of my greatest fears was losing both Sasuke-kun and Naruto to death while I was too helpless to prevent it, but I don't think that was the worst fear I had. The reason why that fear was so prominent, why I was so desperately afraid of it happening, was because of the worst fear; I would wind up alone. Sasuke-kun would never return, and Naruto would eventually give up chasing after me. Maybe I was afraid of this happening, because I knew it was my future. It was what I deserved. I was no better than the other villagers when judging Naruto in the beginning. I had fallen for Sasuke-kun because I thought him better than Naruto. It served me right when Sasuke-kun turned out to be how he was. I deserved this.</p>
<p>I thought I had accepted my fate, but I hadn't at all. Without Sasuke-kun and Naruto, what was I? Sakura Haruno? Just another medical ninja? I didn't get along well with my parents during my teenaged years. I became distant from Ino and my other friends with my unhealthy obsession with Sasuke-kun. Now what?</p>
<p>I most likely would have been fine, if miserable, but in my panicked state, I thought that I could simply not exist without at least one of my teammate's companionship. At this point, it was certainly not going to be Sasuke-kun's.</p>
<p>When Kakashi-sensei brought back a worn out Naruto after the onslaught from Pein was over, they were greeted by all the village, cheering madly over their hero. Naruto stared, awestruck, that such a welcoming could be for the likes of him. Naruto deserved it. He deserved everything.</p>
<p>Hinata didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve what I did to her. I had nothing against the Hyuuga. In fact, I liked her very much actually. She was very polite to everyone, and always did her best. I think I liked her even more over the fact that she felt so fondly over Naruto. She had a true judge of character. But it had nothing to do with how I felt about Hinata, only over not losing my last hope from surviving my loneliness. I stole Naruto from her. I didn't have the right, but I did it anyway.</p>
<p>The crowd parted as I walked to Naruto, like the people expected me to be the one to greet the hero first, like I was his woman, his prize. I was very much willing to be his prize, even though it should have been Hinata. Maybe, if Hinata had been a bit more assertive, I would have just cut my losses and let her take him from me. If Hinata had done anything, but stand there, and smile as I greeted Naruto, maybe it would have prevented me from performing my mistake.</p>
<p>Naruto had been staring at Hinata, or at least trying to make some sort of eye contact with her as the village children bounced around him distractedly. He was most likely trying to decide if what Hinata had said to him earlier was true or not. A lot had happened in between and Naruto had been unable to reply to her. Naruto's hesitation most likely caused Hinata to second guess herself. She was timid and lacked self confidence. She most likely assumed that Naruto just didn't return her feelings.</p>
<p>It wasn't that Naruto didn't like Hinata, he just simply didn't realize Hinata liked him. He was stupid. He had always been dumb. I remember thinking that as I jammed my fist into his head, and with that, Naruto forgot all about Hinata. Then I must have completely forgot who I was, for I caught Naruto before he could hit the ground after my punch and then I very tenderly, placed a hand on the side of Naruto's head, and let his chin rest against my shoulder. I was never tender to Naruto. I was never sweet. Especially in front of other people, and here I was displaying the affection in front of the entire village.</p>
<p>"Thank you."</p>
<p>I felt Naruto tense at my touch. The tips of his hair were wet from sweat and they brushed against my cheek, but I didn't mind the feeling. I didn't mind that he smelled liked blood and sweat, because he still smelled like Naruto underneath it all. Besides, blood and sweat were the scent of living things. Naruto was still alive, despite what had happened and what he went through. That was all that mattered.</p>
<p>Afterwards, I forgot about Hinata. Even if I remembered her, I thought her too weak, too meek to put in her effort. Naruto needed love. Everyone needed love, but for some reason I never really understood that Naruto had been starving for it since the day he was born. Now, he was finally receiving it. He had to earn it with sweat, blood and tears. He earned it and deserved it. He should be rewarded.</p>
<p>But why should he be rewarded with something such as love, when it should have been given to him regardless. He had suffered needlessly all his life, and a great part of it was due to myself. I really wasn't different than anyone else, and because of this, my rejection was only a small drop of the ocean of indifference that Naruto had to swim through, but because of my self center-ness, I thought I was important. It was my duty, my obligation.</p>
<p>Several days went by, structures of buildings being quickly erected before more stable ones could be made, and I was lost in this way of thinking on how to help Naruto. All I could think about was that Naruto deserved everything. I wasn't exactly sure how I was going to make sure that he received everything. Some things he still was going to have to obtain on his own. I couldn't make him become Hokage. I couldn't bring home Sasuke-kun. All the things that I had been able to do for him were always so little and trivial, like heal a wound, help him defend Sasuke-kun to others who didn't understand, or calm down his hot head with a word. There had to be more that I could give him than just those things.</p>
<p>When the idea came to me, it came in so hard, so rashly that it didn't even solidify clearly in my head. I could only obey the overwhelming emotion. There was no thinking. It was quite insane. I had spent several days thinking, plenty of time to mull over the idea, but none of that had happened. I couldn't decipher what I was about to do until I had already left my family and started heading over to where Naruto's living quarters had been newly constructed.</p>
<p>I walked hurriedly, unaware of the reason was because if I slowed down, I would realize what I was about to do and I would change my mind. I practically ran up the steps to Naruto's door. I wasn't sure if he'd be home. He often ate out for dinner but it was already after seven. Naruto would be getting ready for bed so that he could get an early start on his training. He was always training.</p>
<p>I rammed my fist on the door. It was loud, but I refrained from breaking the wood, even though my nerves wanted to.</p>
<p>Naruto answered the door slowly to me, but that was only because my heart was racing so much. I was still out of breath from going up the stairs too fast.</p>
<p>"Sakura-chan?" He was in casual clothes, a black T-shirt and a pair of bright orange cargo pants. Orange was such an obnoxious color. It seemed even brighter with the black shirt. The shirt seemed darker with the yellow hair and blue eyes. Sexier. "What's the matter?"</p>
<p>I didn't say anything, because to talk would mean to think, and to think would mean to chicken out. Instead I flung myself onto him, entering his apartment, my mouth painfully smacking itself onto his teeth. I kicked the door close with my foot, and continued my poorly practiced kiss. I hadn't kissed anyone since the last time I kissed Naruto a few months back. I didn't know the 'technique' to making out, but I figured the first step was to not care about Naruto's saliva, or my own for that matter. I continued in a sloppy, disgusting manner, Naruto pretty much unresponsive. I had heard him try to say, 'what the-' but that was halted with my assaulted. I almost choked on my own spit. I didn't know what I was doing.</p>
<p>Before I could drown, I felt each of Naruto's hands on either side of my head, his strong fingers digging into my hair. He didn't exactly pull me away, but he guided my head back, dragging my attacking lips away from his so that he could reenter my mouth smoother, deeper. I felt him put his tongue in my mouth and my heart quickened over the fact that before, I would have never allowed him to do such a thing. I let Naruto take over the kiss, not sure if the feeling I was feeling was arousal or embarrassment. I felt myself turning inside out, with everything exiting my body, sliding out of me with the feeling of Naruto's tongue against my own. A low, rumbling growl from Naruto's throat put me back together. It was masculine, sexy and told me that this was right, that I shouldn't have waited this long. Naruto had pressed me against the door. Sometime in all of this I had closed my eyes. I opened them as Naruto continued to move inside my mouth. I impatiently decided I had had enough of this kissing, of me falling like an inexperienced foolish groupie girl. This was Naruto. Naruto didn't have any experience either.</p>
<p>I shoved Naruto off of me, wiping the spit off my chin with the back of my hand. The force of my push had shoved Naruto against the adjacent wall. I was on him again before he could catch the breath that had left him. I shoved his wrists over his head, holding them up there with my chakra, glaring at his stupid confused face. "Sakura-chan, what-"</p>
<p>"Shut up!" And I kissed his wet lips again, noting he had two as I tried to give attention to both of them. Giving up I moved away from his mouth and went to his chin, his jaw, before tasting the skin on his neck. Naruto tilted his head up for me, whining like a baby. I let go of his wrists to put my hands on his chest. As soon as his arms were free his hands were immediately on me again, but I told myself I didn't care. One hand was at the back of my head, trying to get me to kiss his mouth again, but I was too distracted with trying to burn his shirt away with my eyes.</p>
<p>Since I couldn't do that, I dragged my hands down to the rim of it, pushing the fabric up to his armpits. I've seen Naruto shirtless before. I've practically seen Naruto naked, with all the times I had to fix him up. I always averted my eyes or covered him when wounds were too close to a particular aria, thankfully Naruto being unconscious most of the time, but looking at Naruto like this was as if I had never seen him before. Naruto was breathing so hard, all the planes in his chest contracting and expanding before my eyes. It was like he was about to have a heart attack. Why was this effecting him so much? How could hormones turn someone like Naruto, the great hero from the Hidden Leaf, into this? I traced my fingers over all the muscles, knowing each of their scientific names but suddenly forgetting them all with the warmth of Naruto's skin. Naruto reattached his mouth to mine, and I let him, feeling everything I could.</p>
<p>Naruto's other hand trailed down my back, over my hip, to my waist, but that was all it would do. He didn't dare go any higher or lower, so it just stayed there, on my waist. I realized, I was too afraid to take my hands anywhere else as well.</p>
<p>"Sakura-chan," Naruto breathed into my mouth, kissed me and then said the name again. I knew Naruto was perfectly content to just kiss me and go no further, his fingers combing through my hair to the tips before reentering at the roots of my scalp.</p>
<p>But that wasn't why I had come here, and if I wanted to do anything about it, I was going to have to do it all myself. I snapped open his pants. I felt Naruto's eyelashes hit my cheek, as his gaze dropped to see what the hell I was doing.</p>
<p>I hooked my foot around his ankles, dropping him easily to the floor and pouncing on him. He almost tried to struggle, but I grabbed both his arms with one hand, the other still fishing around inside his pants.</p>
<p>I'd seen penises before. I was a medical ninja. I spent most of my time in the hospital. I'd seen many naked people before and I carried on with my task professionally. I knew how sex worked. Tsunada-sama had put me on birth control since I was twelve. I knew the concept of erections. I just had never seen one before.</p>
<p>I wasn't exactly seeing one now either, but rather, feeling it grow in my hand. My eyes were glued onto Naruto's face instead, who was staring back in horror, probably thinking I was going to punch him for being hard like this. It wasn't like he had much of choice in the matter as I was stroking him slowly, still shocked that it seemed to grow larger and harder in my hand.</p>
<p>"S-s-s-" Naruto dug his heels into the floor, like he was trying to push himself away from me, but the wall kept him from escaping, and it didn't look like he had the strength to push himself up. Naruto clenched his teeth before turning his head to the side, pressing his face against his arm. He opened one blue eye to look back at me, as if to make sure it was really me touching him like this, his face redder than I had ever seen it.</p>
<p>I pressed my thumb to the tip of the erection, noticing the drop of precum. That must mean he was ready. I got my feet underneath me and climbed over Naruto's lap, my skirt riding up my thighs. With my movements, Naruto turned his head fully to me, eyes wide as he realized where this was going. Naruto was so slow sometimes.</p>
<p>"Holy shit. Holy shit! Sakura-chan, wait a minute. Stop." I ignored him, hovering over him, and moving my underwear to the side to press him against me. His head went back so violently it hit the wall. His arms struggled in my grip and I tightened my hold on him.</p>
<p>I shoved him hard into me when I felt resistance from my own body. He had been bigger than I was expecting but that shouldn't have made a difference. Sex was a normal thing. Infants came out of vaginas. It had to fit.</p>
<p>Tsunade-sama had explained the first time to be like kicking a piano. The almost numbing, sharp pain hit me and I slammed Naruto's arms against the wall, angry that I hadn't prepared myself for it better. Naruto let out a little shout in surprise. My grip on him was most likely cutting off his circulation.</p>
<p>He was saying something to me. The feeling of pain was fading away, but Naruto's voice was also. Everything was numb to me, as I felt me falling within myself. I was having sex with Naruto. I just lost my virginity, and it wasn't with Sasuke-kun. Maybe deep down, I knew I would never be with Sasuke-kun this way, though it never stopped me from imaging it. I thought, if I was never with Sasuke-kun, I would simply just be with no one, and I was okay with that. I thought I was okay with that.</p>
<p>I gritted my teeth, feeling suddenly empty, suddenly wrong. This was betraying Sasuke-kun. It didn't matter that I knew Sasuke-kun did not care about any of it. I was still betraying him. How could I do this if I loved Sasuke-kun? Did I ever love Sasuke-kun? If I didn't, did that mean half of my life I had been a lie? How could I be so meaningless? How could I let this happen? Why did I think this was a good idea?</p>
<p>Because Naruto deserved love.</p>
<p>No. Naruto deserved love of course, but not from me. From Hinata. I was only doing this because I thought maybe it would finally help me get over Sasuke-kun. Naruto was so kind and beautiful. I should love him. But why was I crying all of a sudden? Why did I wish so desperately that I was with Sasuke-kun, that I felt like throwing up. My chest and stomach hurt. They hurt much more than my sex did, which was feeling only numb now. It hurt so much.</p>
<p>"Sakura-chan!" Naruto was still trying to pull his arms free from my grip. I felt my body start to move automatically, even as tears streamed down my cheeks. I couldn't just get up and leave now. The damage had already been done. I couldn't make anything worse. I had to finish what I had started. Naruto groaned, mouth pressed against the arm I was using to restrain him. "Please. Don't. Stop. It's okay. It's alright. Just stop."</p>
<p>It wasn't alright, and stopping wasn't going to help anything. I forcefully rocked my hips against his, cursing when I felt a spark of pleasure from it. Naruto's eyes snapped back to me at the sound of my voice, seeing my tear plastered face now. I wished he'd close his dumb eyes.</p>
<p>"Sakura-chan, if it hurts, stop."</p>
<p>I shook my head. It didn't hurt anymore. That wasn't it. My jaw locked as I tried to open it, still rolling my hips into Naruto. His breath came out as a gasp with every move I made. I wondered if Sasuke-kun would have breathed the same way. Sasuke-kun was so perfect. He would have never let himself be caught doing anything lewd or dirty. This was lewd and dirty.</p>
<p>But I didn't stop. "Saku-Sakura-chan! Stop-fucking hell! Fuck!" Naruto convulsed, his slippery wrists almost succeeding in slipping out of my grip. I stared at him, his skin red, tendons tight, mouth open. And then I felt him finish inside me.</p>
<p>As Naruto tried to catch his breath, I let go of his arms, leaning back, like I was too close to him. I didn't get up though. Naruto was still inside me. I found myself blank on what I should do next. I kind of wanted to die. Maybe Sasuke-kun would come back to kill me. I was a dirty slut.</p>
<p>Naruto didn't know what to say. I know because he was quiet and he was never quiet. He just stared at me with shock, a little bit of fear and what I realized was just a sliver of hope. Hope that maybe, I did all this because I had decided to return his feelings.</p>
<p>That was it. That was too much.</p>
<p>I burst out sobbing. With his hands now free, he was able to place them on either side of my head, pressing the palms like that would stop me from crying. He stared at me, swallowing.</p>
<p>"I-!" I sobbed. "Sasuke-kun-!" And through my blurry vision I saw his expression change. There. Now he knew the truth.</p>
<p>"I know," he said. "I know!" He hugged me. He pressed my face to his shoulder as I sobbed. No. I couldn't accept this! I didn't deserve this comfort. I pushed him away from me and got up, running out of that apartment like I would never see him again.</p>
<p>He didn't follow me, but I knew I couldn't run from him. Naruto would always be there. He wouldn't leave me. He had made that a promise.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>During Pein's attack, Tsunade-sama used up so much chakra that she was in a coma for nearly a month. There was talk that Shimura Danzo would be appointed Hokage. I hated that man. I didn't really know why except for that I knew Tsunade-sama hated him. With the dislike the two had for each other, it would be clear that Danzo would have very different ideas than Tsunade-sama in how to lead the village.</p><p>I sat by her a lot during her coma, looking for any signs that she might wake up. I needed her now, more than ever. I didn't like talking about my romantic life with anyone, and I knew Tsunade-sama would not hold back to be kind for me, but I needed some sort of answer. I could only avoid Naruto for so long.</p><p>I spent some time in her office, alone, organizing her things before Danzo could get in here and start meddling. It surprisingly survived the the attack from Pein in almost one piece. The windows had shattered, causing rubble to get in. I made sure to recover every single piece of paper and put it in a safe place so that everything would still be around when Tsunade-sama did wake up. The windows had since be replaced, and most of the rumble removed, but I discovered Tsunade-sama was not a very organized person. It took some time. Even after it became late and I finished, I realized I didn't want to go home. I hadn't been getting a lot of sleep lately and if I was lucky, I was busy, but it was supposed to be my night off from the newly makeshift hospital. I had been there a few weeks straight now. They told me I wasn't welcome until I got some rest.</p><p>It was around this time that I discovered Tsunade-sama's hidden compartment under her desk. Being a ninja, I'm trained to be a snoop so of course I had to open it and find out what she was hiding. Besides, I needed to rescue it before Danzo might stumble upon it.</p><p>In the secret compartment were two bottles of sake and a glass. I sighed. Of course there was.</p><p>There was a knock on the office door. I panicked, ramming my head on the underside of Tsunade-sama's desk. I hadn't locked the door, and I was most likely not supposed to be in here, depending on who you asked. Of course it was obvious someone was in the office, as I had the lights on and they could be clearly seen from the street outside. I blushed red that I was caught snooping, praying it wasn't someone who was a Danzo supporter.</p><p>I pushed myself up using the desk, but when I saw who was at the doorway, my sweaty palms betrayed me. Slipping, and I fell back down again.</p><p>"No one told me that you were appointed as the next Hokage, Sakura-chan!" Of all the people, Naruto was worse than Danzo right now. Yet, the pep in Naruto's voice made it hard to be awkward around him. He was always so good at that. But it was a trick. It was a trick to make me comfortable to trust him again and then he would want to talk about... that thing that happened between us.</p><p>Nothing good could happen talking about that thing.</p><p>"Whatcha doing, Sakura-chan?"</p><p>"N-nothing!" I tried to quickly shut the compartment that I had found, but was having difficulty. My panicked brain couldn't remember how I had opened it.</p><p>"You haven't been home."</p><p>"I've been busy."</p><p>"I couldn't find you at the hospital either. I was beginning to think you skipped town like Sasuke," Naruto laughed nervously. My stomach tightened. "Good thing I saw the light on in here or I would have left the village to go look for you."</p><p>I glared at him from over the desk. "And where the hell did you think I'd go?"</p><p>"I don't know," Naruto said, hands on his hips, staring out the dark windows. "Probably to wherever the fuck Sasuke is."</p><p>I could hear the hurt in his words. Of course. Because I had sobbed out Sasuke-kun's name as I gave Naruto my virginity. Yep, this conversation was going to be horrible. What was wrong with me!? Why did I do that!? I should have just gone over to Hinata's and convinced her to go to Naruto's apartment instead. Hinata actually deserved Naruto, as proven with the awful way I continued to treat him.</p><p>I struggled with the contraption under the desk in my frustration.</p><p>"Wadda ya doing under there anyway?" Naruto leapt over the desk and squatted at my side. "What is that?" Naruto gasped. "Is that Grandma Tsunade's secret sake stash!?"</p><p>I sighed. "Yea, I found it by accident. I can't seem to get it to close though. This is just what Tsunade-sama needs," I said sarcastically, "for Danzo to come sit at <em>her </em>desk and find her <em>sake</em> stash underneath! As if her reputation isn't already hanging in the balance."</p><p>"There's only one thing we can do then," Naruto stated, voice getting lower as he was about to announce his idea. His ideas were often stupid, but the way he made his voice so deep before hand like that, always made me forget they would be. "We just have to drink it ourselves."</p><p>"You can't be serious! First of all, we're too young to be drinking. Second of all, Tsunade-sama would totally <em>kill</em> us if she ever found out we drank all of her sake!"</p><p>"We'll just buy her some more when she wakes up and is Hokage again. No big deal."</p><p>"How are we going to buy sake when we're only sixteen? No one's going to sell it to us!"</p><p>"We'll give someone older money to buy it."</p><p>"Who?!"</p><p>"I don't know. Iruka-sensei?"</p><p>"Iruka-sensei would also kill you if he found out you drank!"</p><p>"Kakashi-sensei!"</p><p>"Kaka-" I stopped myself, pressing my knuckles into my mouth. "Maybe." He didn't seem to be the type of guy that was too concerned about laws but, "I don't know. Kakashi-sensei seems to enjoy watching us squirm when we're in trouble."</p><p>"Come on Sakura-chan! Have you ever tasted sake before? Aren't you a little curious? Besides, the two of us are practically adults now. Am I right?" He nudged me with his elbow. I had never known Naruto to be subtle before, but he was doing a marvelously job of tormenting me about... that <em>thing.</em></p><p>"Fine! Take it!" I grabbed one of the sake bottles and shoved it into his hands. "If I give this to you, will you leave me alone?"</p><p>Naruto got up and walked around the desk. "I told you Sakura-chan, I'm never leaving you all alone." I couldn't help notice he took the sake bottle regardless, my teeth grating as I glared at him. "Besides, there's something super important I need to talk to you about." He fiddled with the neck of the sake bottle nervously. "I... the other day."</p><p>I stood up, ready to brace myself.</p><p>"Did you... need...? We didn't use any protection and I-"</p><p>I tried to suppress a giggle as my hand flew to my mouth. It wasn't funny. I don't know why I was laughing. Maybe it was relief. Was <em>this</em> what Naruto wanted to talk about? I could talk about this.</p><p>Naruto's feelings on the other hand... that was a different story.</p><p>My body tried to laugh again, because of course Naruto would be worried about impregnating me. I hadn't said anything about it.</p><p>"What? What's so funny?" Naruto asked, eyes wide.</p><p>"Nothing. I'm on the pill. Don't worry about it."</p><p>Naruto gave a sigh of relief that could be visibly seen throughout his whole body. Mine was still convulsing from my chuckling.</p><p>"Damn! I've been looking for you everywhere for the last couple of days! Why didn't you just tell me?! Shit! You women are all messed up."</p><p>We were. It was true. "Now if that's all, can you please leave? I have a lot of work to do here," I lied. Well, maybe I could work on that other sake bottle. Alone, where it was safe.</p><p>"No that's not all," Naruto growled. My heart started to pound. I didn't reply. Naruto didn't seem to know how to continue either. "You..."</p><p>I pulled out the second bottle and cup, pouring a glass.</p><p>"What <em>was</em> that?"</p><p>I downed the glass quickly, rather than trying to sip at it. It probably wasn't the best idea. Of course Tsunade-sama's sake would be strong. "I don't know," I answered.</p><p>"Well I know!" Naruto huffed. I turned to face him. "That was like... the worst sex in the history of the world!"</p><p>I shouldn't have been surprised. Or course I knew it must have been bad. I obviously didn't have my heart into it. I guess I just thought that Naruto, being a guy, would like it anyway. "I'm sorr-"</p><p>"I was the worst partner <em>ever</em>!"</p><p>Wait, what? "Naruto-" I started. What did he mean? It wasn't like Naruto could do anything. I hadn't let him. Hell, I practically raped him.</p><p>"<em>You</em> didn't finish. <em>I</em> lasted for ten seconds, <em>and</em> you cried! I don't even think you were ready. It was like, the worst ever. All the bad things that could happen happened. If Ero-sensei were alive right now, he'd be kicking my ass. I'm pretty sure he's <em>crying</em> in his grave. I know, I tended to ignore him when he was trying to teach me his sexy ways, but man, even I know I screwed that one up. Regardless if it was my first time or not! There was no romance, no class, I didn't even offer you fucking tea!"</p><p>"Naruto, it doesn't matter. It wasn't meant to be romantic! It was just to get it out of the way. Like a first kiss. Our virginities are gone so we don't have to worry about losing them anymore!" I took another drink.</p><p>Naruto narrowed his eyes at me. "Give me that!" He took the glass out of my hand, and opened his own sake bottle to pour into it instead of just using mine. Great, now they were both open. We were going to have to finish both bottles. "Who said you could just decide that for me?"</p><p>I wanted to throw up. "You didn't... you didn't want that?" Shit. I just assumed that was what all boys wanted.</p><p>"I mean, of course I did! And if I had to pick any girl, of <em>course </em>I'd want it to be with <em>you. </em>Fucking damn!" Naruto swallowed his drink. "But, I didn't want it to be bad."</p><p>"I'm sorry." I stared at the window. "I-"</p><p>"You love Sasuke, I <em>know</em> but, what if, you start thinking sex is always terrible just because that one time you did it with me was so awful. You'll never have sex again and it's my fault."</p><p>"What?" I snorted. "Naruto. I raped you. You couldn't even do anything. How is any of that your fault?"</p><p>"Nope. Guys can't get raped."</p><p>"Yes they can."</p><p>"Not by girls. It's impossible."</p><p>"I'm pretty sure they can."</p><p>"No!" Naruto covered his ears.</p><p>"I forgot to yell 'surprise'," I said jokingly now.</p><p>"No." Naruto grabbed me by the shoulders. For a moment, I thought he might kiss me. Good thing he didn't or I would have hit him into tomorrow. Instead he gave me a light push and I landed onto the Hokage's chair. Naruto leaned back onto the desk, eyeing me as he took another drink. "We're awkward now," he stated the obvious.</p><p>I stared out the window. "How has that been any sort of change," I replied, thinking about how Naruto always 'liked' me. I wondered how long he liked me for. I can't remember when I first met Naruto. Naruto not liking me would have made my life a whole lot easier. Without the temptation, I wouldn't have screwed Hinata over. I would have still stayed true to Saskue-kun. But then again, I would have been a whole lot lonelier.</p><p>"I don't know what you mean," I watched Naruto down another glass.</p><p>"You think you're going a little fast there?" I said, nodding my chin in the direction of the sake bottle.</p><p>"You're not supposed to be counting. Here. Stop being jealous." He poured me a cup as if it was the solution. I didn't think there was any solutions for my jealousy problem. "We're friends. Us fucking is not going to ruin our friendship." After he handed the glass to me, he shook his head fiercely. "Nope. No siree!"</p><p>"How?"</p><p>Naruto locked eyes with me. "We do it again. Better."</p><p>"No," I said darkly, murder written on my face.</p><p>"You got it!" Naruto quickly agreed, changing his mind, not wanting me to beat him up. I knew he would try again later. He always would try again later.</p><p>"Doing it again won't solve our problem! If anything, it will make it more awkward!"</p><p>"Then I guess we will forget about it!" Naruto exclaimed, knuckles digging into his hips, brow lowered and him leaning over me determinedly. I was beginning to think the alcohol was started to effect him. "We'll just... we'll just act like how we always do and things will go back to normal."</p><p>I pursed my lips in skepticism.</p><p>"Let's talk about Sasuke. That always makes us feel better."</p><p>I felt my insides tug. "I don't know if I want to talk about Sasuke-kun," I admitted. "I'm beginning to think that always talking about him to you isn't good."</p><p>"Wha!? What does that mean!?"</p><p>"Everyone thinks I'm too obsessive over him. They think it's unhealthy."</p><p>Naruto blew air out of his lips and threw his arms up into the air. "Who cares what the village thinks!?" He fell onto his back over the desk. "People say the same shit to me too, but I've never listened because they don't know anything! They've never known shit!"</p><p>Maybe Naruto also had an alarming interest in Sasuke-kun. "I don't know. I think you're an enabler for an unhealthy addiction of mine. I know you're just trying to help make me feel better but..." I rubbed my thumb over the sides of the glass. "Why? Why do you care so much?"</p><p>Naruto flung himself upright. "Because! He's our friend! He's our comrade! Never leave your comrades behind!"</p><p>"We didn't leave him behind. He left us behind."</p><p>"Whatever. Doesn't matter. I'm bringing him back. I promised you!"</p><p>"Why do<em> you</em> want to talk about Sasuke-kun all the time?"</p><p>"Because! He's Sasuke!" Naruto brought his hands to the side of his head, like he couldn't believe I was asking such ridiculous questions. It made me wonder. I knew his personalty was like that. Naruto always cared too much. Naruto was always too emotional. That's why he cared this much about bringing back Sasuke-kun. Maybe it was all just because no one else thought he could pull it off. Of course, usually I thought it was for me. To get me to like him.</p><p>"But don't you think...?" The edge of my vision was getting fuzzy, and the electrical light seemed to be too bright now. "I mean, of course I want Sasuke-kun back, but for you, you promised you would bring him back for me, but wouldn't you not want him around? I mean, if he wasn't around, maybe... If I hadn't ever met Sasuke-kun... I'd might want to be with <em>you.</em>"</p><p>Naruto narrowed his eyes at me as his smile widened. "Sakura-chan, are you drunk?"</p><p>"No! You're drunk!"</p><p>"You're more drunk!"</p><p>"You drank more than I."</p><p>"I'm a man. I weigh more than you do."</p><p>"Psh, you're hardly a man."</p><p>"Whoa, what? Hold up! You saw it! You know I'm a man!"</p><p>I felt my face heat up as I rolled my eyes. "I didn't exactly look at it. I averted my eyes."</p><p>Naruto laughed. "What? Why? Were you shy or something?"</p><p>"We're not talking about this anymore!"</p><p>Naruto threw his head back. "Right! Because it makes us awkward. Fuck." He took the glass from me to fill it up again. I noticed he spilt some. I'd clean it up later. If I remembered. "Okay. But listen. Here me out. What if I said, I could make it up to you?"</p><p>"Make what up to me?"</p><p>"The bad sex."</p><p>"Naruto, we're not talking about this anymore!"</p><p>"Sakura-chan!" Naruto groaned, and slid to the floor against the desk.</p><p>"No." I said shaking my head and crossing my arms. I briefly wondered if Naruto thought this all out a head of time, getting me drunk and then trying to seduce me. But Naruto wouldn't have known that I was up here with Tsunade-sama's sake. Besides, I was pretty confident in myself to keep him off me. Of course this thought was made when I was already tipsy.</p><p>"But I read things," Naruto said, head tilted upward and his eyes closed. "From Ero-sensei's books."</p><p>I snorted before taking another drink. "Reading and doing are too completely different things. Example; the way Sai acts."</p><p>"I know! That's why I gotta practice! It's just practice so it's okay!"</p><p>"I'm not falling for that one again, Naruto."</p><p>"Why? Why are you saying no? I know you want to."</p><p>"If I wanted to I wouldn't be saying no! Besides, it should be obvious! There's a million reasons why we can't ever, <em>ever </em>do it again!"</p><p>"Yea? Name one!"</p><p>"I don't... I don't <em>feel </em>for you like that!" That got Naruto to shut up. Maybe all this time, the remedy to my Naruto problem wasn't about being nicer to him. Maybe I had to be crueler. Maybe I had to crush any sort of hope that the fool had of us ever being together. I couldn't show any mercy at all.</p><p>Naruto finally blinked at me after several moments. "So?" he answered.</p><p>"So? What do you mean 'so'?! I don't want to keep hurting your feelings!"</p><p>"<em>My </em>feelings?" Naruto grabbed the front of his jacket. "This isn't about <em>my</em> feelings! This is about you having a mind blowing orgasm from a man! You obviously need it. <em>I'm </em>not the one throwing myself onto people!"</p><p>I threw my head into my hands with a groan, completely embarrassed. The movement made me slightly dizzy, so I kept my head there.</p><p>"Hey. Hey." Naruto crawled closer to me on the floor, a hand going to my bare knee. I flinched slightly from the skin to skin contact, but my head was too heavy to do much about it. "Is this about Sasuke? Or is it about me?" He pushed himself up, using my knees for support. "Hey. Look at me." I parted my fingers to peer out with one eye. "If it's Sasuke, we don't have to have sex. Okay? I mean, it's kinda already fucked but, if you don't want to do it again because of Sasuke... There are other ways I could get you off."</p><p>I gasped. "No, Naruto!"</p><p>"So it's me then? Right? You're not attracted to me and that's the problem!"</p><p>"Naruto-"</p><p>"No it's okay! We can get around it! We're fucking ninja! I could be anyone! Who do you want me to be?"</p><p>"Naruto, what are you talking about?"</p><p>Naruto stood back, feet apart before making a hand sign and the office filled up with smoke. I coughed, trying to bat the smoke away from my face annoyed. I was briefly concerned on how we were going to get all this smoke out of the office before I remembered that it would dissipate on its own.</p><p>When my vision cleared, I slammed back against the chair. Sasuke-kun was standing before me, wearing the garb that we had last seen him in, leaning against the desk cooly with his arms crossed. His eyebrows were down quizzically, eyes dark upon me, his splendid lips half way between a smirk and a grimace. It would have been an odd expression had it been on anyone other than Sasuke-kun. And yet, it was the closest thing I could image Sasuke-kun showing of want, or desire. Everything about Sasuke-kun was already sexy, but he wasn't one to come <em>on</em> to anyone. I felt in between my legs grow warm, just from seeing his face like that.</p><p>It took me three seconds to realize it wasn't really him. "No. Stop. I don't like this." How did Naruto get him so pat down? His stance, his expression, nothing about it held any of Naruto's character.</p><p>"Why not?" and Naruto even used Sasuke-kun's voice. My hands flew to my ears and I squeezed my eyes shut.</p><p>"No!"</p><p>Another puff of smoke and Naruto was back to normal. "I'm so stupid!" he exclaimed. "Of course that's not a good idea! You'd get too emotional! You're already crying!"</p><p>I sniffled and wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, not realizing it was happening until Naruto pointed it out.</p><p>"I'm dumb. I'm sorry. I'm always dumb. Who else then? There's gotta be somebody else then."</p><p>"What?" I blinked at him, eyelashes heavy with tears.</p><p>"There's gotta be someone else who you find attractive. Bushy Brow?"</p><p>"No don't turn into Lee!" I shouted, holding my arms up to stop him. "I've never been attracted to Lee!"</p><p>"Really?" Naruto asked, like it was a statement he found hard to believe. I didn't know why. Sure, Naruto and I respected and liked Lee, but he was not an attractive person. Thinking about him was making me forget about Sasuke-kun though. Rock Lee was so funny looking, his voice held so much passion that it border lined ridicules. It made me smile.</p><p>"No," I shook my head. "Never."</p><p>"He has an impressive six-pack, if you hadn't noticed."</p><p>"No! No! No! And don't show me. I'd be scarred for life."</p><p>"What about Sai then?" I paused, the alcohol letting me think about it. "He reminds you of Sasuke," Naruto stated. I didn't answer. I just set the sake cup on the desk. "You like Sai!" Naruto said amazed when I hadn't responded. "Gross! He's all pale looking! And he's <em>weird, </em>Sakura-chan. I don't get it."</p><p>"He's not that bad!"</p><p>"So you like him!"</p><p>"No I don't like Sai, like <em>that</em>."</p><p>"Shikamaru?"</p><p>"What? Why him?"</p><p>"I don't know. I just feel like he'd know what to do in this type of situation."</p><p>"He wouldn't be in this situation to begin with! This is all too wrong! I can't believe you even considered it."</p><p>"Kakashi-sensei!"</p><p>I blushed, turning my head away as I gasped a breath of air. "No..."</p><p>"Your face got red! You'd totally would do Kakashi-sensei!"</p><p>"Only because I'm curious to see what's underneath it all!"</p><p>"Underneath it all, huh?" Naruto asked, a teasing smirk on his face.</p><p>"Shut up!"</p><p>"I''m not judging you. Kakashi-sensei's hot!"</p><p>"You're not Kakashi-sensei though! You can't even transform into him! You've never seen him underneath his mask or his clothes so you wouldn't know what he looked like!"</p><p>"Damn you're right!" Naruto threw a hand to his head at the realization. "Fuck man! I would have done a great Kakashi-sensei too!"</p><p>"Regardless, this whole thing is super wrong anyway."</p><p>"How is it wrong? We're not hurting anyone. No one would have to know! We'll turn out the lights! No one will see!"</p><p>"First of all, it's disrespectful towards you, don't you think?"</p><p>Naruto took a step toward me, tripping a little and landing both his hands on the backrest of my chair. "Sakura-chan," he whined. "You worry about me too much. I don't care."</p><p>"You don't care right now because you're horny and drunk," I stated.</p><p>"You're horny and drunk," Naruto replied, lowering himself back down onto the floor again at my feet.</p><p>"And yet look how well I'm behaving myself. That says something doesn't it?" I was enjoying myself. I wanted Naruto to keep talking to me like this. I wanted him to keep his attention on me. I wanted him to keep trying.</p><p>His forehead fell to my left knee. "Why'd you come to my apartment?" Naruto mumbled.</p><p>"Because," I said, Naruto's hair tickling my skin. "You deserve love."</p><p>Naruto laughed. He almost slipped off my lap but wrapped his arms around my legs to keep from falling. "But you didn't give me love. You gave me sex."</p><p>I flinched. I should know the difference at this age by now, shouldn't I?"</p><p>"Thanks though. That was really nice of you anyway," Naruto murmured. "It was nice. But... It's okay. You don't have to do it for me again. I'm really good at... <em>helping </em>myself..."</p><p>I was sort of thinking of pushing Naruto off me now. I didn't need to know that.</p><p>"You ever?"</p><p>"What!?" I snapped, pushing at his head. He rolled back onto his butt, his eyes locked on mine, hungry for my answer.</p><p>"Help yourself," he supplied again.</p><p>"I'm not telling <em>you</em> that!"</p><p>He pushed himself closer. "Do you even know how?" he asked in a deep voice.</p><p>"Of course I know how!"</p><p>"Prove it," Naruto dared.</p><p>Instead I reached around his head for the sake and took a drink.</p><p>Naruto laughed at me. "I'm just teasing you Sakura-chan. You're being such a good sport." He gave my knees a squeeze with his arms. "Thank you for the company. Thank you for being my friend."</p><p>A few glasses later, I leaned back on the chair, drinking straight from the bottle now. What was the point of continually pouring it into the tiny glass? We were just going to spill it. Naruto was already too far gone, sprouting nonsense. I was having a hard time keeping up with what he was saying.</p><p>"Look at you, Sakura-chan. You're the Hokage-sama!" I wasn't sure if he was commenting on me drinking like Tsunade-sama, or that I was sitting on her chair. This was probably super disrespectful to her, but I was too drunk to care. "You look so hot right now," Naruto's breath hit the inside of my thighs. "You're tearing me apart, you know?"</p><p>"I thought you told me not to worry about your feelings."</p><p>"Don't worry about them." Naruto was too close to me. I shouldn't have felt this relaxed, but my legs just seemed to open on their own. Naruto hot mouth moved against the inside of my thigh when he spoke. "I'll do all the worrying for you, Hokage-sama. I'm a ninja of the Hidden Leaf."</p><p>"Is that so?"</p><p>"Yeah," he grinned. He tried to push himself up, but the chair I was on had wheels, and I rolled back into the window behind us. The both of us laughed. Naruto took the bottle from me to drink, as if the two of us weren't slushed enough.</p><p>"Your eyes are pretty," I said.</p><p>Naruto blinked. "I'm not pretty. Sasuke's pretty. You like Sasuke. Sasuke's <em>so </em>pretty!" <em>Man, you try to give a boy a compliment, </em>I thought. Naruto never failed to turn a conversation about himself back to Sasuke-kun.</p><p>"True, but you still have nice eyes. Just because Saskue-kun is gorgeous doesn't mean no one else can be."</p><p>Naruto shook his head. "No. No, I'm not pretty. Your eyes are pretty. You're the only one with eyes."</p><p>"We all have eyes, Naruto."</p><p>"No. Not like yours. What color are they?"</p><p>"They're green."</p><p>"No. Leaves are green. Grass is green. Your eyes are prettier than those things. Here." He lifted my hand and took my index finger. "Your nail polish matches your eyes. I've never seen this color before, but on you. What the fuck color is this!?"</p><p>I laughed. "The bottle said it was mint green." I shrugged "Still green."</p><p>"Mint green," Naruto whispered. "Mint doesn't look like this!"</p><p>"Mint ice cream does."</p><p>And then Naruto put the finger into his mouth. My eyes widened, but I didn't do much anything else. I didn't know what else to do. Normally I would be disgusted to feel something slimy on my fingers like that, but all I felt was warmth. And then with a small suck, I felt something tug, up my arm, down my chest and straight into my loins.</p><p>My finger was cold when Naruto took it out of his mouth. "Doesn't taste like mint."</p><p>What? Of course not. It was nail polish!</p><p>"It's better," he rasped. My already heated cheeks grew more so. He pressed my hand to my lower stomach. "Show me," he whispered. "Show me how you do it."</p><p>"Do what?" I whispered even though I knew what he meant. I should stop him from doing whatever he was thinking. But I wanted him to continue anyway. Maybe if I pretended I didn't know, it would be okay. I felt both of our hands slip into the rim of my skirt. What a bold move of Naruto, but I was still feeling too comfortable. Both of our hands cupped me over my underwear. It felt wonderfully wrong. Everything was so warm and wrong. I stared at Naruto's pretty eyes. "Tsunade-sama told me something."</p><p>"Yea?" Naruto guided my hand beneath my underwear. Alarms should have been going off in my head, but I did nothing.</p><p>"She warned me," I groan as I felt my own hand touching myself. "That I should tell you how I feel about you before it's too late."</p><p>"Oh yeah? How do you feel about me?"</p><p>I felt Naruto's fingers curl, thereby making my own fingers curl and then go underneath me. "I... <em>hate</em> you." I said, eyes narrowing. "Who said you could have your hand there?"</p><p>"I don't remember."</p><p>"Because nobody said so!"</p><p>"Make me stop then," he dared, yet despite his statement, Naruto was already pulling his hand out of my underwear anyway. Instead, I grabbed it before it was completely free.</p><p>Naruto took in a breath and locked eyes with me.</p><p>I pressed my tongue to my teeth as I guided his fingers in between my wet folds. I could see Naruto's breathing visibly grow harder, as if I was touching him rather than the other way around. His face was notably redder than it was moments before. "Do you even know how?" I asked wryly.</p><p>"Teach me. Make sure I do it right."</p><p>I angled my hips better for him. Locating his index finger, I slowly inserted it inside of me. Naruto licked his lips, his eyes fogging up with lust. Naruto's finger was larger than mine, and rougher and deliciously more wonderful. I wondered if Sasuke-kun would have been the same, if his fingers would be just as long, just as calloused. It didn't matter. They were both hands of a man, and I had at least one of them. Naruto experimentally curled his finger up, and I let out a low mew, my free hand flying up to grasp the flesh between Naruto's shoulder and neck. The muscle was the perfect size for my hand to squeeze on.</p><p>Naruto leaned over my own shoulder, whispering in my ear, "Sakura-chan, you're so beautiful."</p><p>I shook my head as I rocked my hips against his hand. No. I wasn't beautiful. I was wretched.</p><p>My hand that had guided Naruto's finger traveled up his wrist, clutching at it. His arm was so steady and strong. I bit my lip, pressing my face to Naruto's shoulder in shame.</p><p>"You don't have to look at me. If that helps," Naruto said quietly.</p><p>I shook my head. "No." I looked up. "If I had to chose someone other than Sasuke-kun, I would choose you, Naruto. Not anyone else in the village. You."</p><p>Naruto grinned. "Because I have pretty eyes?"</p><p>"Yes," I murmured as I thrusted against his hand. No that wasn't why, but I couldn't think enough to list all the reasons why.</p><p>"Thank you, Sakura-chan." I found myself squeezing my eyes shut again, even though I had promised myself to be brave enough to look at him. Why was Naruto thanking me for putting him in second? Naruto didn't deserve second. He deserved first.</p><p>Hinata would have put him first. She already had. She let him go, believing that Naruto would be happier without her. How could he be happy with second when he could have had first?</p><p>Naruto added a second finger. "Am I doing this right?" I made a loud noise which made Naruto pause, but I nodded my head to continue. "Tell me how you do it. Gives me details," Naruto said into my ear.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Tell me what makes you decide to touch yourself. What do you think about?"</p><p>"No." I shook my head. "I'm not telling you that."</p><p>"It'll turn me on." And of course I wanted to turn Naruto on. I wanted to be the reason he felt like this, even if I didn't give him anything in return. I was so despicable. "Even if you're thinking about Sasuke, it won't matter to me. Just whatever that turns you on, Sakura-chan."</p><p>"I think of Sasuke-kun," I admitted.</p><p>"What about him?"</p><p>"Of him coming home." Naruto nodded his head. I felt it against my own. Naruto thought of Sasuke-kun coming home too. If I was more sober, maybe I would have found all this strange, but I wasn't.</p><p>"And what else?"</p><p>"Of him... staring at me," I breathed. Naruto's hand started moving faster. "What... he looks like... naked. How his hands might feel like." And I felt Naruto's other hand slip up my shirt. The rough pads of his fingers and palm traveled across my ribs to my back. He undid my bra, surprisingly without much trouble. Then that same hand caressed my right breast, a thumb rubbing over the nippled. My back arched and I bucked into his hand.</p><p>"Then what?"</p><p>"He hates me. Sasuke-kun hates me."</p><p>Naruto almost paused in his movements. "Why?" he asked in a growl.</p><p>This was my fantasy after all. "Because. He doesn't know how else to feel. He wants me, but doesn't want to. He's frustrated, so he hates me. So he <em>takes</em> me."</p><p>"How?"</p><p>"Hard. Violently. He forces me down. But I want him to. I want him so badly." I heard Naruto groan into my neck. His grip on my breast tightened, his hand moving inside me faster, hitting the spot I so desperately wanting him to reach, with just the right angle of my hips. I almost couldn't speak anymore. I was moaning too much. "He... It hurts, but... it feels... I'm going to..." Naruto sunk his teeth into the pulse point of my neck. I cried out, waves of pleasure tightening my body from my orgasm. I almost shout Sasuke-kun's name, but I didn't. I was with Naruto.</p><p>I tried to catch my breath. I felt Naruto start to slowly pull out of me. The hand I had around his wrist quickly grabbed the back of his head, afraid he'd disappear now that the task had been finished. I didn't think when I pulled him closer to me to kiss him. I didn't care that his mouth was wet or that he tasted like sake.</p><p>"I need to touch something," I gasped. I let go of his head to yank down the zipper of his jacket.</p><p>"I'm something," he said, his voice close to begging. Of course he was something! He was what I had meant.</p><p>With both hands, I got rid of his jacket. I tried to push up his shirt, but my arms weren't obeying me, and sitting on the chair, I couldn't reach over his head. He took it off himself. Then he pulled me off the chair since him coming closer just made its wheels push me farther away. The both of us were on our knees. I felt his bare skin with my hands trying to get them to go past the rim of his pants. They were numb so I fumbled trying to do so. Naruto pulled my shirt over my head. I was finally able to undo the button of his pants. It felt ridiculously good just to have something in my hands like this. I fondled him, not at all shy. Naruto heaved, his weight leaning into me. I couldn't support him, so I rolled onto my butt, my legs coming from underneath me, Naruto falling into my lap.</p><p>"I want..." What was it that I wanted? I pulled Naruto closer as I fell to my back. "Please. I want to."</p><p>"Are you sure Sakura-chan? I think... we drank too much of that sake."</p><p>"No! Please! I'm so lonely all the time. Please. I'm sorry. I'm so fucked up. I'm sorry I'm doing this to you. I love Sasuke-kun but I'm fucked up. I'm so lonely and fucked up!" I rambled, almost sobbing.</p><p>Naruto shushed me with a kiss to my lips, his hands supporting his weight on either side of my head. "I know how you feel. I'm lonely, too. I know<em> exactly </em>how you feel! It's okay, Sakura-chan. I'm also fucked up. I'm <em>so </em>fucked up." He laughed. "Like you don't even know the half of it."</p><p>I stared at his blue eyes. "What don't I know?" We were the closest of friends. I knew everything about Naruto. What else could I not know?</p><p>Naruto grinned at me. "You're really pretty." Normally I would have not fallen for such a clumsy, obvious attempt to change the subject, but Naruto was thumbing my forehead. I didn't want him staring at it like that.</p><p>"No I'm not. Sasuke-kun doesn't- If I was, he wouldn't have left!"</p><p>"Sasuke's just dumb." Naruto lift my legs to pull down my panties. He did it slowly, and as I stared at him, listening to his words, I didn't even notice him remove the article of clothing. "He acts all smart to try and cover it up, but I think he knows he's dumb. That's why he gets so angry all the time. That's why he would want to <em>ravish</em> you." Naruto looked down at me quite animalistic.</p><p>"Maybe only in my fantasies."</p><p>"You and I know Sasuke better than anyone else does." Naruto came closer to me, my legs around his hips. How was it that Naruto and I were always talking about Sasuke-kun, even as we ourselves were about to screw each other? What was wrong with us? "If Sasuke saw us right now, how'd you think he would react? You think he'd just sit and watch?" I felt Naruto press his tip against me. "Or do you think he'd do something about it? He'd beat the living daylights outta me, right? And after that, he'd come after you next. What do you think he'd do to you?"</p><p>My heart was thumbing so hard, I felt my whole body shudder at each beat.</p><p>"He'd hold you down, like this, maybe?" Naruto brought both his hands under my knees, bringing my legs up to my face, restraining me. I couldn't move. "And then, how did you put it before, he'd<em> take </em>you?"</p><p>Naruto slammed into me. He entered me with no resistance, for I was throughly soaked with need. Every thrust went straight to my core. The first contorted my face, my mouth moving into a silent O. The second ripped a scream from my throat. The third I was clawing at Naruto, for anything, desperate to hold something. I grabbed onto his hair, the nails on my other hand biting into the skin of his shoulder. This feeling was almost too much for me to handle. Tears stuck to the corners of my eyes.</p><p>"I want you to do it again," Naruto demanded. "I want you to cum. Think about Sasuke and do it again."</p><p>I answered with a wordless cry. Would Sasuke-kun be angry? Would he be jealous? All this time I just figured Sasuke-kun wouldn't care. He had never cared about me. But I had forgotten. I did know Sasuke-kun. He only pretended to not care. He was all an act. I knew him. He would be upset. Of course he would be. Sasuke-kun was always upset.</p><p>I remembered Sasuke-kun losing his temper, knocking a plate of apples right out of my hand, without thinking. He did things without thinking when he was <em>really</em> furious. So unlike his usual self. Like Naruto. The both of them were so passionate when they were feeling that much.</p><p>Naruto. He felt too much. I could feel it emitting out of him. Love, hate. Saskue-kun, Naruto. It was the same feeling. They were the same.</p><p>I came.</p><p>Naruto swore as my body clenched around him. I felt him move in me a few more times before pulling out. "We're gonna stop," he huffed.</p><p>"Why?" I was ashamed how desperate my voice sounded.</p><p>"Because I don't want us to make a huge mess!" Naruto smiled at me. "Come on now. It's alright. I'm not going anywhere!" He reached behind him for his jacket. Pulling me up slightly he wrapped the jacket around my shoulders, and tugged me closer to him. I rested against his chest.</p><p>"You're so warm."</p><p>"Yeah?" His arms slipped under the jacket to embraced me. "You're so soft." He leaned against the desk. I felt myself fall sleep from my drunkenness, exertion and all that sweet heat.</p>
<hr/><p>I heard two rapid knocks. I opened my eyes. "Is someone in there?"</p><p>I held back a shriek as I pulled away from Naruto. He hadn't woken from the noise but I started to shake him as I addressed Shizune's voice from across the closed door. "Oh yes!" I called, jumping up before realizing I was wearing nothing but Naruto's jacket and my ruffled up skirt. "I was just organizing Tsunade-sama's things." I rounded the desk, turning back to Naruto in panic who had sluggishly pulled himself upright. Naruto threw my clothes at me over the desk. "But don't come in! I left a mess in front of the door and I don't want you to trip! I'll be right there!" I tried to put on my bra, but I was panicking too much and still sluggish from my drinking. I tossed the jacket, bra and panties back to Naruto and just put on the shirt.</p><p>"Um, okay. What are you organizing in there?"</p><p>I pointed at my chest, mouthing to Naruto 'Is it noticeable' as I had ditched the bra.</p><p>Naruto started shaking his head, but it morphed into nodding. I sighed irritably, deeming it was only noticeable I wasn't wearing a bra to Naruto because he was looking. I motioned him to hide under the desk before grabbing Tsunade-sama's papers and answering the door. "These!" I said once Shizune was in sight. "I didn't want Danzo going through anything and finding something that he could hold over Tsunade-same to prevent her from retaking up the position of Hokage when she wakes up," I said all in one breath.</p><p>"Oh. I noticed the light was on so I came to turn it off. It's five in the morning. Have you been here all night?"</p><p>"Yes," I said, running a hand through my hair and trying to keep my distance away from Shizune. I didn't want her to smell the sex and sake on me. "Tsunade-sama had everything <em>just </em>everywhere and it took me some time."</p><p>"I could have done that, you know? I know Tsunade-sama's wacked up organization a little bit better. You look terrible."</p><p>"Well, it's been done anyway. Here, I'll entrust this to you then? If you don't mind, I'm going to go home and take a much needed shower."</p><p>"Yes, of course." Shizune took a step back so I could exit the office. I shut off the light and closed the door securely behind me, concealing Naruto.</p><p>Shizune and I left the building together. She didn't comment on my appearance again, but I couldn't help notice her give me a second look every once in a while.</p><p>Naruto and I never talked about what happened either. I thought he would try. I thought he would want to push it, and try to make it happen more, so that it would be harder for me to say no to a relationship with him. But he did not, knowing full well that I had only wanted it to be a one time thing. I was mildly disappointed actually. I even thought, maybe, Naruto had decided to go after Hinata now that he got screwing me out of the way, but he made no effort to pursue Hinata either. It was wrong for me to think that of Naruto. He wasn't disrespecting me. No I was the one always disrespecting him. He kept my reputation in tacked. He did not harass me about it again. It was a secret that we did not speak of. We would forget it ever happened.</p><p>I assumed Naruto forgot all about it. So much had happened afterwards, and with the much more pressing concern of Sasuke-kun's life being in danger, that was all Naruto thought about. After all, Sasuke-kun was the most important thing to the both of us.</p><p>I could admit, that sometimes, for me, the memory of that night passed through my thoughts. I never did get my underwear back from Naruto.</p><p>That little thief.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Naruto sure has grown up a lot, hasn't he? He's actually quite handsome now." I looked up from my clipboard to see the voice had come from Ino. Everyone in the village was at work to fix up the destruction that had happened during the attack, and with Tsunade-sama still in a coma, there was a bit of chaos with the village repairs. Not that it was my responsibility to bring in organization. I just wanted to be helpful, naturally.</p><p>I hadn't talked to Ino for awhile. Occasionally we would go out with our friends to eat, but such times seemed so long ago with this war at our hands. It hadn't been that I had not seen Ino. The two of us were often working together at the hospital. It was just that we hadn't actually had a conversation that wasn't work related in eons.</p><p>I saw that she was looking at something behind me. A quick turn of my head discovered it was Naruto, talking to an elderly couple. He waved goodbye at them happily, not looking where he was going as he was backing away from them, and hit his head on a long board that someone else was carrying.</p><p>"Too bad he's still an idiot," Ino commented, seeing the same scene as I did.</p><p>"Naruto's always been the same," I agreed as I went back to my clipboard.</p><p>"So, Billboard Brow," I felt myself frown at the old nickname. Ino was the only one that could get away with calling me that. I found myself not being able to punch her pretty little face in as much as I would like to. I don't know what held me back. "What do you think about Naruto? Now that he's the village hero, he'd look mighty pretty on your arm, don't you think?"</p><p>I fumed. "Naruto's not some trophy or object for me to display!"</p><p>Instead of wiping the smirk off her face it grew. "Look at you. So you do care."</p><p>"Of course I care! He's my teammate and my friend. It's nothing like whatever you're implying. Naruto's like a brother to me." A brother that I fucked with occasionally. But no one knew about that besides Naruto and I. I was pretty sure anyway. "You're just trying to get me to let you have Sasuke-kun, aren't you? No way Ino. I'll never let you win!"</p><p>Ino frowned. "Actually, no Sakura. I was hoping you'd let go of Sasuke, you know, since he's like, gone." Of course. Why did I bring him up at all? It had been so long since I talked to Ino like this, that it just came out habitually. "Hey, when we're done here, hang out with me for a little while! I miss you. We never talk anymore," Ino said, noticing my change in mood.</p><p>"I don't know. I have a lot of work to do."</p><p>"Come on, you've been doing things nonstop. When's the last time you relaxed? Seven days ago? I know that we're in hard times here, but you got to take some rest."</p><p>"I know." I gave her an annoyed look. "I was going to see Naruto after I was done here."</p><p>"Oh? And do what?"</p><p>Talk about Sasuke-kun, of course.</p><p>"We're just friends," I said cooly to Ino, an evil gleam in her eyes.</p><p>"Just friends that fuck each other?"</p><p>"No!" I lied. Besides that had only happened on two separate occasions. "We do other things." I didn't want to say cry about Sasuke-kun together. That would make the both of us look insane. "Sometimes we eat. Go shopping. Naruto helps carry my bags."</p><p>"Really? Tell me how I can get my teammates to do that!"</p><p>"Just ask them."</p><p>"No, there's no way in hell they'd do anything like that. I don't know if Naruto is just so hopelessly in love with you or you brainwashed him."</p><p>"It isn't always about me, you know," I said feeling suddenly ashamed of myself. Was I using Naruto? Was I leading him on? No, it was impossible for Naruto not to realize how much I still loved Sasuke-kun. That was all we ever talked about! "We're friends. We help each other out. We talk to each other. Talk out our problems. We do things friends do!" I was finding it hard explaining what Naruto and I did do with all the time we spent together.</p><p>"Like tell each other your dirty secrets and paint each other's nails?" Ino said sarcastically.</p><p>"Well, yea, but of course I don't paint <em>his </em>nails."</p><p>"But he paints <em>yours</em>?"</p><p>I held up my hand to show Ino the newly painted mint green nails. "Only because he was interested in the color. Naruto doesn't know his hues. He hadn't heard of mint green before, <em>or</em> lavender. He didn't even know lavender was a word. It makes me really wonder about him."</p><p>"Yea? Me too. When did Naruto replace me as your best friend?!"</p><p>"Naruto didn't replace you!"</p><p>Ino began listing things on her fingers. "You tell him your secrets. He goes shopping with you. He paints your nails! It'a like he's the perfect gay best friend that every girl wished she had!"</p><p>"Trust me, Naruto's not gay, no matter how much I wish it! It would be a whole hell of a lot easier to be friends with him if he were gay."</p><p>"Why? Because you like him!" Ino accused.</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Sakura, you're a terrible liar. There's no way in hell that the two of you haven't fucked yet, <em>unless</em> he's gay. Which is also seeming like a strong possibility. You two are attached to the hip, but it's Sasuke-kun this, Sasuke-kun that! It's like the both of you are in love with Sasuke."</p><p>I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to rebuttal this attack. If I claimed that I knew Naruto wasn't gay because we had had sex, then Ino would think she was right. She'd think that I had romantic feelings for Naruto. I didn't. I did not!</p><p>Sex was just that, sex. It was a form of comfort. I fucked up form of comfort because apparently both Naruto and I were fucked up, but it was nice all the same. Yet, I didn't want to try to explain all this to Ino because it would make me seem more like a dirty slut.</p><p>I was a dirty slut.</p><p>"Maybe Naruto is in love with Sasuke-kun," I said turning back to my clipboard.</p><p>Ino laughed heartedly, hopefully taking this all as a joke. I didn't actually want to betray Naruto's reputation. Naruto had never betrayed mine. Still. What the hell was I saying? "So he <em>has</em> replaced me! He stole you right from under my nose! You've found another blond best friend to rival your love." Naruto was a thief after all. Maybe he had stolen me away from Ino.</p><p>I rolled my eyes. "Ino, you will always be my best <em>female </em>friend, and one true rival for Sasuke-kun's love."</p><p>"If he ever finds Sasuke, he can keep him! That jerk's done enough." Ino said in a fit of bitterness. Ino acted very much over Sasuke-kun these days, but sometimes I would wonder, if such annoyance to his name could be hiding something. Whatever it was though, she seemed to deal with it better than I ever did, and even though I half thought her snap was based on her own frustrated, I felt somewhat judged for still feeling the same way. Ino noticed and gave me a worried look because my expression must have changed from her responds. "Hey, I'm really hoping that you're just playing around when you still talk about Sasuke like that. Right? We're just playing."</p><p>"I am. Of course I'm playing. I'm over him. Well, I mean, I still want him to come back, but-"</p><p>Ino let out a huge sigh. "You know, I'd be lying if I said I didn't wish that damned bastard would come back too. It's just with both Orochimaru and Itachi dead, I really don't think he is. Maybe he found someone else out there."</p><p>"Like... to love?"</p><p>"Yea, maybe."</p><p>Oh that put a sickening feeling in my gut. I needed to stop thinking about Sasuke-kun. I should be happy if the reason Sasuke-kun wasn't back was because he found true happiness. If I loved him, I should be happy. I needed a distraction.</p><p>"Actually, I'm thinking about seeing you tonight instead," I grinned. If I hung out with Naruto, he would sure to want to talk about Sasuke-kun. If I hung out with Ino there was a chance of talking about something else like, how I was still better at medical ninjutsu than her, or how my forehead was still rather large. Whatever topic would come first. Of course I was just trying to run away from one problem by addressing another. "You're right. We need to hang out more. Naruto can survive one canceled playdate."</p><p>"I am so honored that you would choose me over the Hero of the Leaf!" Ino addressed, a hand over her chest. "I hope I can meet you expectations." She winked at me.</p><p>"Sure! Sure!" I waved my hand. The corner of my eye caught Konohamaru heading toward Naruto's direction. "Oh hell no. Hold on Ino. Naruto and Konohamaru are about to pull their old tricks again. They can't do that here out in public! That poor old couple is still there!" I marched away from Ino, at the time, not noticing Ino's annoyance that I was again choosing Naruto over her.</p><p>I was able to grab Konohamaru's blue scarf before he got Naruto's attention. "Where do you think you're going?"</p><p>"Sa-Sakura?!" I was satisfied to see the little bit of fear in Konohamaru's face, before it fell back into its normal stubbornness. "Whadda ya want?! Let me go! It's none of your business!"</p><p>"Oh, no! I know what you're up to! You're going to try to practice one of your ridiculous jutsus with Naruto!"</p><p>"It's important training!"</p><p>"It's a waste of time, is what it is! I stand by what I said in the past! There's no way those types of jutsus would be useful in a real fight!"</p><p>"The Sexy: Boy on Boy Technique seemed to work just fine on you before!" He accused, bringing up a dreaded memory.</p><p>"That-!" I let go of him in my anger. "First off-!" But I didn't even know what I wanted to say first. So many come backs were trying to escape my mouth all at the same time. "Maybe!" I admitted, because it didn't seem like anyone else was paying attention to us. " But why would you take the time to put together a jutsu designed specifically against <em>me, </em>of all people!?"</p><p>"Well, maybe because you're terrifying as all hell," Konohamaru grumbled in a low quiet voice.</p><p>"What was that?!"</p><p>"Who said that jutsu was designed specifically for you?" Konohamaru said instead, yet still taking a careful step away from me. "That's pretty self important for you to think. From what I hear, both Sasuke and Sai have what all the girls want. Whatever the hell that is. That jutsu was made in order to distract any female enemy, or man that swings that way, and lets you get in a hit that could determine the outcome of the entire fight! It's good to be prepared, you know? Sure, the Sexy: Girl on Girl Technique is important, but what if you came across an enemy immune to its charms? It's good to have a back up plan."</p><p>I glared at him. "Has it ever occurred to you that maybe some people can actually <em>control</em> themselves!?" Not that I was really one of those people, but still. There had to be people out there! Like Sasuke-kun. He had never fallen for Naruto's dumb Sexy Jutsu before, finding it just as stupid as I always did. Unless of course... it was because he wasn't attracted to females. I had never seen him in front of the Sexy: Boy on Boy-NO! That wouldn't have effected Sasuke-kun either!</p><p>"Sex is a very powerful thing," Konohamaru defended stubbornly, hands on his hips. "Such teachings have been past on from Naruto onto me! It honors the great Master Jiraiya, even more so now, now that he's past-"</p><p>"Oh shut up!" I nailed Konohamaru on the head with my fist. "How much do you even know about sex? You're just a twelve year old boy!"</p><p>"I bet I know more than you! Seriously lady, you're never gonna ever get a boyfriend. You're <em>way </em>too scary!"</p><p>"WHAT?!" And here I was, in a dilemma of being a woman. I didn't care how much porn Naruto had told Konohamaru, when going on real experience, of course I had more than this boy. I had done the deed twice now, but that wasn't something I could just shout out with pride like any man could do, <em>especially </em>since my partner had been Naruto! I would be labeled as a classless slut. But if I lied or kept quiet, I was a naive, ignorant bitch! Keeping this secret that Naruto I had was proven to be somewhat tough. It wouldn't be too bad if I could have talked about it more with someone, Naruto himself even, but him and I didn't speak of it.</p><p>I decided to go with the title of 'Bitch' grabbing onto Konohamaru's blue scarf as he was in the midst of trying to scramble away from me in a panic.</p><p>"What did you say to me?" I growled in a dangerously, dark and low voice.</p><p>Konohamaru screamed.</p><p>"How many people would miss you if you were to suddenly disappear?"</p><p>"Naruto nii-chan!" Konohamaru cried out like the true hopeless genin he was. Or course, so was Naruto, but I forgot that most times.</p><p>"Sakura-chan! What's going on here?"</p><p>I sighed, slightly disappointed that Naruto had come to Konohamaru's rescue. I was looking forward to teaching him a lesson. "Naruto!" I said, now directing my anger towards him. "You need to teach this brat some manners!"</p><p>Naruto smiled nervously when he realized what this fight must be a product of. He held up his hands apologetically. "I'm sorry Sakura-chan! You know the kid's still young. He doesn't know what he's talking about!"</p><p>"Naruto nii-chan!" Konohamaru exclaimed, still trying to get his scarf free from my ion clad grip. "Don't let her win! She's the one that's being rude! I was minding my own business when she started to talk down on all the training I've been doing! The training that <em>you</em> were teaching me!"</p><p>"Why are you teaching him this <em>shit!?</em>"</p><p>"Now wait a minute," Naruto stuttered out. "Konohamaru has a more active imagination than-"</p><p>"Wait a damn second here..." My eyes narrowed at Naruto who was looking at me in panicked horror. I released Konohamaru as the thought came into my head. "Did <em>you</em> teach Konohamaru the Sexy: Boy on Boy Technique?!"</p><p>"Yep!" Konohamaru supplied brightly.</p><p>My glare darkened onto Naruto. "No! No! No! It was Konohamaru's idea! Sakura-chan, really! I would have never thought that outside the box! Seriously, I'm kind of amazed that Konohamaru was thinking so far ahead!"</p><p>Then I was glaring back at Konohamaru. "Aw, come on, boss! Sure, I came up with the initial idea, but you taught me who to use. Naruto knows what the girls like." Konohamaru elbowed Naruto while wiggling his eyebrows. I wanted to hit one of them. I couldn't decide on who though so my fists stayed with me. I was leaning more toward Naruto at this point, maybe solely because of the pure satisfaction it always gave me.</p><p>"So you decided to tell him the two people you knew that I thought were most attractive!"</p><p>"I mean, everyone knows that Sasuke used to be the hottest guy in the academy when we were kids! And now Sai seems to be having his own fan club! It was nothing against you Sakura-chan! And besides..." Naruto's voice faded as he made a grimace. "I didn't expect Konohamaru to make them have sex with each other," he grumbled. "That was gross Konohamaru. That was too far!"</p><p>"You gotta hit them hard boss! In a real fight-"</p><p>"Still, it's weird," I interrupted Konohamaru and accused Naruto. "Konohamaru doesn't know Sasuke-kun and Sai very well, <em>especially</em> Sasuke-kun!" I turned to Konohamaru. "When's the last time you've even seen Sasuke-kun, Konohamaru? And how could you have any idea on what he looks like now?"</p><p>"That's what I've been saying! Naruto taught me!"</p><p>I looked back at Naruto. His face was beginning to panic again. "So you did it first to show him?!"</p><p>"Sakura-chan!"</p><p>"You-" Konohamaru had done a rather realistic job, though some of it I hadn't gotten a good look at because of the after smoke of the transformation. But what I was able to see, couldn't have been off only guessing work. Sure, Naruto and Konohamaru could have used pictures of the anatomy or other photographs of other people to patch up the missing information, but even that seemed too weird. Why would they look at such pictures so intently just to get all the details of such an absurd jutsu? What Ino had said to me was coming back. I really didn't care about Konohamaru's preferences, but she was right about Naruto. Naruto did some oddly peculiar things for a straight man. "Have <em>you </em>seen Sasuke-kun naked?!"</p><p>"For crying out-At the <em>hot springs!</em>" Naruto shouted. "I can see what you're thinking! I can see it on your face!" He raised a finger accusingly. I lifted a hand to cover up my face. "Sai too. At the hot springs. We're men, Sakura-chan. Of course we've seen each other. And, as men, we're comfortable with ourselves so that it's never been weird. Sai's the only one that's ever made it weird. Go yell at Sai!"</p><p>"Right. I'm sorry. Of course." I didn't know how Naruto was able to turn the tables around in this conversation. If I wasn't so flustered all of a sudden, maybe I would have noticed the blush on Naruto's face. It also suddenly came to mind of Naruto's brief transformation inside the Hokage's office. If Naruto knew just exactly how Sasuke-kun looked without clothes on... then he could have... If I had only said yes... "In the Hokage's office...?"</p><p>"Regretting your decision, Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked in a low, serious voice. Konohamaru was looking back and forth from us, confused.</p><p>"What are you guys talking about?"</p><p>I was finding it hard reading Naruto's expression when normally it was like an open book. Was he angry at me? It was rather insulting that even now, I still wished that he had been Sasuke-kun. But, Naruto never directed his anger at me. Was that why I was finding it hard believing that he was mad? That he was hurt? Why did it look more like lust in his eyes?</p><p>Naruto put a hand on top of Konohamaru's head. "You can show me your training later, Konohamaru," he said, without taking his eyes off of mine. "I'm busy right now."</p><p>"Aw, come on!" Naruto gave Konohamaru's head a push. "Okay. Whatever."</p><p>Naruto grinned at me. It was the normal happy one, though there were still traces of bitterness in it.</p><p>"I'm sorry!" I exclaimed. Why was I always so insensitive to Naruto's feelings all the time? "I didn't mean-"</p><p>"Why are you apologizing for?" Naruto asked, the grin becoming more friendly than it was a few moments ago. "You picked me over a fake imitation of Sasuke, which means, I won!" he said jutting a thumb into his chest. Then pointing to his crotch he said, "That bastard can suck my dick."</p><p>My words caught in my throat. It wasn't that I was surprised that Naruto could forgive me so easily. That was the way Naruto was. It was just, "You mean not lit-"</p><p>"Not literally!" He threw his arms into the air. "Sakura-chan! Come on!" Naruto was blushing again, but I was also embarrassed so I decided to quickly changed the subject. "I told Ino I'd hang out with her tonight."</p><p>"Oh. Okay."</p><p>"Maybe I'll see you later, or after."</p><p>Naruto nodded his head. "Of course." Maybe there was something wrong with me. I was the one with the dirty mind. And I had never even been Master Jiraiya's student.</p><hr/><p>"Wait, wait, wait!" Ino exclaimed, holding her cup of tea with both hands. The low lighting of the tent we were in put shadows on her face as she laughed. We were inside one of the provision tents, but it being later in the night, not many people were still around looking for a meal. "Konohamaru, did a Sexy: Boy on Boy Technique?! With Sasuke and Sai?! How come you've never <em>told</em> me about this!?"</p><p>"It never came up!" I said, embarrassed now.</p><p>Ino was still laughing. "No, tell me. You gotta tell me. Did you see them?"</p><p>"See what?"</p><p>She held the tea cup to her mouth, pale eyes gleaming with slyness over the rim. "The dicks," she said bluntly.</p><p>"Well, I mean," I rolled my eyes. "Sasuke-kun's was like, you know... <em>inside</em>," That put Ino into another burst of giggles. "And Sai's, I didn't get a good look because of all the transformation smoke."</p><p>"Oh come on! That's not fair!"</p><p>"I'm sorry. That's all I can tell you."</p><p>"You think if I attack Konohamaru, he'd try using <em>that </em>jutsu on me?" Ino mused, setting the tea cup down and tracing the edges.</p><p>"You would be the only one that would be eager to fall into a jutsu."</p><p>"Oh, come on!" She gave me a small shove. "Don't tell me you didn't enjoy seeing both Sasuke and Sai naked. Dammit! I'm so jealous."</p><p>"I'm not shameless enough to admit it, though!" I said with a huge grin and hand over my chest.</p><p>Ino pressed her face into my shoulder. "I can't help it! I'm sexually frustrated!"</p><p>I scoffed at that as I took a gulp of my own tea. "I can't believe that. How can someone as pretty as you be sexually frustrated?"</p><p>Ino pushed herself up, swinging an arm around my shoulder. "These are tough times, Sakura. Face it, the men out there are too busy with the war. They have more important things to be thinking about." That hadn't stopped Naruto and I. "But even before all this war shit started, you're right, I'm <em>gorgeous. </em>Why can't I snag myself a man? I'm not getting any younger. I feel like I'm running out of time!"</p><p>"Ino," I sighed with a laugh. "I'm sure you'll get a boyfriend in no time. But like you said, we're in some dark times now."</p><p>"Are the times dark enough for a night of romantic forbidding passion? I'm up for that too. Even if it ends in heartbreak, because it's better than trying to survive my boring existence."</p><p>"What are you saying here?" I asked. I was leaning into her, trying to steal as much body heat as I could. The nights were a bit cold without electricity and heat. "Like, you just want to get laid?"</p><p>"Hell yeah! Shouldn't be this hard for a girl to get some."</p><p>I laughed. "It shouldn't be. Especially you. I don't think you're doing it right."</p><p>"Oh," Ino shifted, making it uncomfortable for me to continue to lean into her. "You're an expert now, are you?"</p><p>"I'm just saying that sex is a lot easier to find than true love."</p><p>"Maybe with ugly people. I'm not lowering my standards, no matter how desperate I get. Promise me, Sakura. Don't ever let me get to that point. Kill me before it happens."</p><p>I chuckled. "I can't imagine you ever reaching that point."</p><p>"You have more faith in me than I do." Ino began listing names with her fingers. "Sasuke, out. Neji, fail. Skikamaru, no interest in me. I'm running out of boys!"</p><p>"There's lots of boys!"</p><p>"I mean there's Naruto..."</p><p>I narrowed my eyes at her and pushed myself a little bit away so I could face her better. "Hey, I don't want you playing with Naruto's feelings. He's already been through a lot." The only one to play with Naruto's feelings was me. End of story.</p><p>"Don't worry, I'm not going to go near..." Ino made a vague hand movement, "with whatever the hell is going on with the two of you." I frowned at her. "But what about Sai? He doesn't have a special someone now, does he?"</p><p>I sighed. "I don't know, Ino. I don't think he'd be a good match for you."</p><p>"We're taking about sex right now, Sakura. Forget compatibility. This is just lust, and lust alone. You saw him naked. Is he worth banging?"</p><p>"But even if you just fucked Sai, Sai has a really hard time understanding normal things. With a normal guy, they'd love to be able to sleep with a girl like you, but I'm not even sure if Sai knows what sex is. And he if he does, he knows nothing sexy about it."</p><p>"He's what, sixteen? A sixteen year old boy has gotta know about sex.  Besides, he's the only one that's ever called me beautiful before. At least anyone who would matter."</p><p>I grimaced. "Okay. But, give him a romance novel first before you try to bang him."</p><p>"Why?" Ino asked with a raised eyebrow.</p><p>"Sai likes to read. He takes everything really literally. Maybe it will backfire and he'll act like a cheesy embarrassing character, but without it, it's going to be like making love to a robot."</p><p>"Oh yea, how do you know this?"</p><p>"Just trust me Ino. I know how Sai is."</p><p>Ino sighed as well. "Maybe you're warnings have dampened that idea. What about you, Sakura? How are you fairing in these troubling times?"</p><p>"It's not like I'm getting any sort of action either," I lied. "You know, Sasuke-kun being gone and all." Ino was staring at me like she didn't believe me.</p><p>"Well then, let's make a pact, to make sure I don't get too desperate. If I can't get a boyfriend by the time I'm eighteen, and for you, if Sasuke never comes back <em>and</em> Naruto turns out to be gay for him, we both become lesbians!"</p><p>I narrowed my eyes and stared at Ino for a few seconds. "Okay, deal."</p><p>Ino laughed at me. "I was just kidding! I didn't expect you to agree so easily! You better hope I'll meet a new handsome soldier soon, because I'm pretty sure Naruto's gay." She didn't even address the possibility of Sasuke-kun coming back.</p><p>"Naruto's not gay!"</p><p>"Who's gay?" I heard a familiar voice and my stomach dropped when I realized it was Naruto's. "Is it Sai?" he asked lowly as he pushed up the flap of the tent we were in.</p><p>"What are you doing here? I told you I was going to spend time with Ino tonight," I said more annoyed over that Naruto almost heard me defend his sexuality, than him interrupting my time with Ino. I was glad that he thought we were talking about someone else, but I didn't want to bring up Sai again in front of Ino so I decided changing the subject was the best route to take. I glared at Naruto as he stumbled next to me and sat down.</p><p>"I know, but I got lonely."</p><p>I rolled my eyes. "You're so needy!"</p><p>Ino waved at Naruto, too excited from our conversation to be annoyed with him as much as I was. "Hi, Naruto."</p><p>"Yo. So what are you two girls talking about? Give me all the latest gossip."</p><p>"Oh, you wouldn't be interested in it," Ino said easily. I relaxed a little besides Naruto.</p><p>"Why not? I wanna know!"</p><p>"Because it's girl talk. You're not a girl," Ino said a little more forcefully back.</p><p>"Oh man, that's not fair! That's sexiest! I can like girl things."</p><p>"I wouldn't announce that so proudly out loud if I were you," Ino said back.</p><p>"Why? Girls are pretty!" I felt Naruto's eyes land on me. I bit back my sigh and tried not to roll my eyes again. "Look how nice I made Sakura-chan's nails!" Before I knew it, Naruto had grabbed my left hand and dragged it on top of the wooden table. "I hardly got any on her skin. For my first time, that's pretty good, right?"</p><p>I yanked my hand away. "What's your point?!"</p><p>"So you gotta let me into your secret girl club!"</p><p>"Naruto, it's not a secret girl club!" I shouted. Ino was giving me a suspicious look and I knew what she was thinking. Naruto always wanted to be a part of everything. It didn't matter what it was, and it didn't matter how many friends or things he was a part of already. He always had to get himself into more. It wasn't because Naruto was gay. He was just too stupid to realize when he was making a fool of himself.</p><p>Naruto and Ino continued to bicker for a while, until she had had enough of him. It was late already and Naruto had the tendency to drain everyone else's energy. After Ino headed back for the night, Naruto offered to walk me home.</p><p>I walked slowly beside him, trying to kill as much time as I could. If I had any luck tonight, both my parents would be asleep before I arrived at our temporary living arrangements.</p><p>"Okay, tell me what you two were talking about!" Naruto demanded excitedly. "It's Sai right? He's totally gay!"</p><p>"I sure hope not," I replied, thinking about Ino's interest in him. At first I thought the idea was no good, but I did want to see Ino happy, and if she could find herself a boyfriend, I would feel less guilty over not spending as much time with her as I used to. If she had a boyfriend she'd have no time to see me as well. Ino and Sai would make an attractive couple. If only Sai wasn't so... himself. In fact, I was more worried on him being asexual than gay.</p><p>"Why, 'cause you like him?" Naruto asked snottily.</p><p>"I already told you I don't like him like that! Ino might like him," I snapped.</p><p>Naruto grunted, scratching the sides of his torso with both his hands as he thought for a moment. "I suppose they could both be bitchy together. I'm pretty sure Ino'll kill him though. He wouldn't even think to run before she sliced him open."</p><p>"Yea, I know."</p><p>"Then who's gay?!"</p><p>I gritted my teeth. Maybe just telling him would be worth him shutting up. Maybe he would be more aware of his actions if he realized how much of a fool he was making himself look. Though that was a long shot. Naruto never seemed to care what other people thought of him.</p><p>"<em>You</em>! She was saying that you could be gay."</p><p>"W-WHAT?!" I expected Naruto to be bummed out by the news, another failure of him up against the opposite sex, not that Naruto still had many of those. If only he knew how charming girls, even Ino, could now find him. I knew Naruto would be unhappy with what I told him, but I hadn't expected him to be so agitated. He was blushing madly and sputtering over his words. "W-what?!" He cried out again. "Why? Why does she think that? Did you tell her about the Sexy: Boy on Boy technique thing, because I already explained that to you and it would be really easy for her to misunderstand! Dammit Sakura! Oh wait. Maybe it was something else. Was it something else?! What was it?!"</p><p>"Calm down. <em>I </em>know you're not gay." Naruto did seem to calm down a little.</p><p>"I like girls," he told me anyway.</p><p>"I know. That's been quite obvious since the day I met you."</p><p>"Then what was it? Is it because I wanted to be in the girl club? Why is it such a crime for a guy to want to be around some pretty girls?"</p><p>"No not really." I sighed. "It's ... because I said that we weren't fucking," I said in a quite voice.</p><p>Naruto stopped his walking to stare at me. "So you lied."</p><p>"I just don't want people to know! And you know if I tell her, that loudmouth Ino pig is going to tell everyone! She was only implying it because she thinks we're too close to be simply friends."</p><p>"Are we more than simply friends?" Naruto asked quietly as he continued walking. I had trouble starting up again.</p><p>"What do you think?"</p><p>"I think we're friends," Naruto grinned at me. "But like this," he crossed his fingers together and held them up to my face.</p><p>"I suppose so. I can't lie to you. I can lie to Ino, but I can't lie to you." Naruto's grin grew. He threaded his arm around mine.</p><p>"We gotta stick together, Sakura-chan. It's the only way we will be able to bring Sasuke back."</p><p>Right. Sasuke-kun. Shit. I think I had been happy for the few moments I was with Naruto, <em>not </em>thinking about Sasuke-kun. Not wanting to dwell on my misery, I dumbly said, "Ino also said you were gay because we must both be in love with Sasuke-kun," I said it as a joke, because I was hoping to feel happy and light hearted again.</p><p>That was when the two of us came to an abrupt halt. Naruto had stopped walking, and with his arm through mine I couldn't go any farther. After about a second and a half of silence, Naruto burst into a fit of nervous laughter. "What a silly thing to say! That's so... funny."</p><p>I laughed along with him too, but uneasy now. "It is pretty funny, isn't it?"</p><p>Naruto didn't seem to be thinking it was funny anymore. "That's absurd. It's... stupid! I'm not gay!"</p><p>I didn't respond and Naruto started our walking again, a little bit faster than we were going before.</p><p>"Why would I...? With <em>that</em> bastard? Sasuke's not even a <em>girl!</em>" He continued to rant on, even though I had giving up on talking for the rest of the night.</p><p>Sasuke-kun certainly was not a girl.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Listen up, and just stay calm. Tsunade-sama has been relieved from her title. The sixth Hokage is someone named Danzo."</p><p>That wasn't surprising to me.</p><p>"And that's not all. The sixth Hokage deemed Sasuke a rouge ninja and approved his elimination," Kiba's voice rambled on in unbelieving excitement, like he couldn't really decide on how he himself should feel about the news. It was right of him to come tell us first. Sasuke-kun was ours. Sasuke-kun was Team Seven's. The original members of Team Seven, Naruto, Kakashi-sensei and I, had all been together when Kiba found us to tell this terrible news. It was either a coincidence or fate that we should all be together. We were the three people that cared about Sasuke-kun most. All three of us must have been devastated, but Kakashi-sensei was older than Naruto and I, and was much better at controlling his feelings.</p><p>I had suspected something like this could happen, and I had even mentally tried to prepare for it, but all that was stubbornly shoved away. This couldn't be happening.</p><p>Naruto was right beside me. Naruto wouldn't let this happen either. He was getting angry, but I wasn't hearing what he was saying because my own rage was clouding my brain. In truth, I didn't know much about this Danzo, but neither did the new Hokage know much about Sasuke-kun. Or the rest of us.</p><p>"Well then, I'm going to talk to Danzo," I was kind of surprised on how calm my voice sounded, though it still held the tremors of my desperation. Kakashi-sensei stopped me, trying to tell us to stay calm. Naruto was not calm. He was getting angrier by the second. I should have tried to hold him back. I should have helped Kakashi-sensei, but my insides were roaring in a fire too. It was Naruto who had calmed down before me. He realized Kakashi-sensei was right before I did, even though Kakashi-sensei was always right. We waited on speaking with Lord Danzo.</p><p>When we ran into Sai moments later, I thought our luck was about to come back to us. Sai worked directly for Danzo, and the both of us were beginning to trust Sai as a part of Team Seven. Surely Sai would join our side to save Sasuke-kun, but even if he did want to help us, Danzo had put a forbidden jutsu on him to prevent him to speak. I was disliking Danzo more and more.</p><p>And then, to top off this worst and impossible day, Naruto, Sai and I ran into two Hidden Cloud ninja. Their angry accusation almost destroyed everything I had ever felt for Sasuke-kun. First they accused him of kidnapping their master. That was bad enough, but then second, they claimed that Sasuke-kun had joined the Akatsuki, the organization responsible for this war, the reason for the village's destruction and why Naruto was constantly fighting and running for his life.</p><p>Denial was the first feeling I felt. It was very easy to, because logically it made sense that is simply could not be true. Sure, Sasuke-kun was troubled. He could be possibly dangerous if he felt that anyone or anything was in his way of his goal. Sure, Sasuke-kun could maybe be deemed as unstable over his obsession with revenge. This was the thought that had sent me to my knees and into the dirt over the two Hidden Cloud ninja's words. But it didn't make sense. Sasuke-kun wouldn't go out of his way for something like this. Why would kidnapping their master have anything to do with Itachi? The Village Hidden in the Clouds was in the Land of Lighting, far away. I couldn't image Itachi traveling that far or having any sort of connection with the other country. And joining the Akatuski? That was the group that Itachi was a part of! Essentially, the Akatuski should be just as much an enemy to Sasuke-kun as they were to us! Why would he join them?</p><p>Though news that Sasuke-kun had already killed Itachi had reached the Hidden Leaf. And the fact that Sasuke-kun was still out there, not home, was very disheartening. What was he doing out there? Could revenge have really changed him this much?</p><p>I started crying. Even as I felt Naruto's warm body kneel down beside me comfortingly, I couldn't focus. All my rage and strength that I had earlier, which I was going to use against Danzo, was leaking right out of my eyes. Naruto didn't kneel beside me, but rather behind me, one hand resting on my waist, like he had my back on this. But even though I knew he was still with me, what could he do about it? He could do so many things, but if Sasuke-kun was truly our enemy now, what was there to do?</p><p>"Let me handle this, Sakura-chan," he said in his deep reassuring voice. I felt my tears drying as I looked up at him. He was going to help these Hidden Cloud ninja, though I had no idea how since they kept demanding that we give up everything we knew about Sasuke-kun to them. Naruto wouldn't do that. And he hadn't exactly agreed to what they wanted, but he was going to help them. Somehow. I didn't know how. And I suspected he didn't know either.</p><p>I went to Tsunade-sama, like I always would when I had a problem I didn't know how to solve. It never did any good. She was still as death, as always. Lady Shizune tried to speak for her. I knew the just of what she was saying would have been what Tsunade-sama would say, but it seemed to hurt more. Not that Lady Shizune said things bluntly as Tsunade-sama did. It probably would have hurt more coming from Tsunade-sama, but then at least Tsunade-sama would be awake, and maybe, be able to do <em>something.</em> I said nothing. I sat in my silence. There was no real final straw I realized. It wasn't like this sudden news of Sasuke-kun joining the Akatuski was what made me lose hope in him. There was always some hope, no matter how small. I knew it was there, because the pain kept reminding me. Sasuke-kun of course couldn't give my love a swift death. He had to make it suffocate, drown, like sinking into a bog. Such a silent, dark, terrifying death.</p><p>I wasn't giving any peace to mull over a resolution for Sasuke-kun. Naruto wouldn't have let me. He was too busy getting the shit beat out of him by the female Cloud ninja, as if that could take Sasuke-kun's punishment away. Beating wasn't Sasuke-kun's sentence. It was death. Such an act was foolish of Naruto, useless and did nothing but needlessly hurt him. He probably had known that. That was why he hadn't told me about it. Sai did. He arrived as I was lamenting by Tsunade-sama's side.</p><p>"I don't know what promise you made to him, however, even I am able to see Naruto's in love with you." Sai had simply stated the obvious. Everyone knew that Naruto was in love with me, but there was something different in the way Sai said it rather than the teasing way Ino had said it before. Something much more serious and much more my fault.</p><p>"Naruto has shouldered the burden of his promise to you, and plans to for the rest of his life." Saying someone would be in love with you for the rest of their life was a rather large assumption, though it would be easy for Naruto to accomplish. That fool's life was destined to be quite short, wasn't it? Yet, even if Naruto lived to be a hundred, he probably would still be looking for Sasuke-kun for me. He would be still trying to prove himself, that he'd do anything, for me.</p><p>"It's like a curse mark." That was the final blow Sai would give, the ending move of his devastating verbal attack. I was no better than Danzo, sealing Sai's tongue. I was no better than Orochimaru himself, who had claimed Sasuke-kun's body. I had cursed Naruto.</p><p>This was all my fault, I realized. Everything Naruto did, every battle within himself or on the field, every breath he took, had all been for my sake. He had suffered all his life. He had been struggling, choking, desperate to honor one promise and one promise only, that was uttered for me, because I had asked him. I had asked him to do all this.</p><p>Shikamaru soon came in Tsunade-sama's tent, asking for my permission to murder my beloved. He went into this whole speech that he didn't need to say, though I knew he had thought long and hard on it, so I let him speak. I told him I understood, though I didn't actually say he had my consent. That little bit of stubbornness and hope was still there, like if I could just bide for more time, I could find a solution to save Sasuke-kun's life. I didn't even care if he never returned to the village. As long as he was safe, alive, happy. But Sasuke-kun would never be happy again, would he? So what if he succeeded in his revenge against Itachi. It hadn't given him peace. It hadn't given him happiness, or he would have returned.</p><p>I was remembering now, all the warning signs, back when we were kids, when we were only thirteen, and Sasuke-kun would take things too far. I remembered him beating an enemy that was already defeated because he had mentioned his brother's name. He kept going, blood flying every where, and would have continued until the man was dead, if Kakashi-sensei hadn't stopped him. I remembered the way he had broke the arms of the Sound ninja when he first obtained the curse mark. I remembered all the times he fought with Naruto, and every, all too real intention Sasuke-kun had in killing him if he hadn't been stopped. I had blamed it all on the curse mark. The real Sasuke-kun wouldn't have done that. Why did I think that? Because I knew him so well? Ha! What did I know? How did I not know that wasn't just the way Sasuke-kun was? Why else would he be doing these things?</p><p>I was a moron, but I wasn't completely stupid. I wasn't like Naruto. I understood the ninja world, which was harsh, and unforgiving. I was taught as such in all my classes that I got perfect As in. Sasuke-kun was too dangerous to be allowed to go about freely, doing whatever he pleased. His life wasn't worth the risk of war with the Hidden Cloud. I loved Sasuke-kun so much, but I understood. He was going to have to be taken out, and it had to be us, the Hidden Leaf, his friends, that did it. It was our responsibility. We had to <em>kill</em> him.</p><p>Naruto wouldn't understand. I spoke up again when I heard Shikamaru mention his name. He wanted to talk to Naruto too. "Let me do it," I said, wiping the tears out of my eyes. "The fool's in love with me. I should be the one to tell him." I'm not quite sure what kept me standing during all of this. My whole body was too numb to feel my legs, but stand I did. I needed to endure this suffering. I deserved it for what I had done to Naruto. Maybe it was karma alone that decided that Sasuke-kun could no longer exist. I had to atone for my sins. I should be responsible with telling Naruto we had to kill Sasuke-kun.</p>
<hr/><p>Naruto had left with Kakashi-sensei and Captain Yamato to Iron County in order to beg for Sasuke-kun's pardon. I knew of course Naruto's plea would be denied, though I was surprised that Kakashi-sensei went along with such a hair-brained idea. Then again, Kakashi-sensei knew how pointless it was to argue with Naruto. Maybe he thought if Naruto saw how impossible the task was, he'd think Naruto would start listening to reason. It would be a harsh lesson to teach him, but Kakashi-sensei wasn't above being harsh.</p><p>Too bad Naruto had always been a glutton for pain. A simple "no" from the Hidden Cloud's Rakage wasn't going to change Naruto's mind.</p><p>I left with Kiba, Lee and Sai to talk to Naruto and try to convince him that we all had to work together to <em>murder</em> Sasuke-kun, as it was for the good of humanity. I knew such a thing was impossible. Naruto was impossible. But trying to explain that to the rest of them would look like an excuse, like I wasn't fully committed in Sasuke-kun's elimination. I wasn't. I wasn't going to let any of them touch Sasuke-kun. I wasn't going to even let them try, because I knew Sasuke-kun would just kill them. But that was thinking for later. Baby steps, Sakura. First thing was first; Make sure that Naruto wouldn't get in the way.</p><p>Naruto loved me. That was the whole point in everything he was doing, wasn't it? He really was such an idiot. What did he really think he was trying to accomplish by chasing after Sasuke-kun all these years? Did he really think he would accomplish anything? Maybe it was all just an act, just to make sure I didn't think he forgot about his oath to me. Or did he really think he could bring Sasuke-kun back for me so that I could love him and be happy, forgetting Naruto as I continued my life with my real, true love? Was that what Naruto was sacrificing? Did he love me that much?</p><p>It seemed mind boggling that someone could love anyone else that much, but I could understand it. I would have done the same for Sasuke-kun if I thought it possible. I would have done anything for him, if it would make him happy, happy and safe.</p><p>Naruto didn't need to suffer anymore though. I would relieve him from his promise. I would prove to him that finding Sasuke-kun didn't matter anymore, and I would give the perfect, most logical reason why, one that even Naruto could understand.</p><p>"I love you, Naruto," I stated, calmly, sweetly, sincerely, as I stood in the snow before him. I heard Lee start to freak out from where he stood behind me, but I ignored him. Confronting Lee and whatever feelings he still had for me was for another day. Besides, to my knowledge I don't think I ever played with Lee's feelings before. He should know by now how I felt for him.</p><p>Naruto on the other hand, I played with his heart everyday and I knew he'd fall for me, melt into a puddle into my hands. I could see it in his shocked face, how close he was to falling into my trap, into being truly mine, not that he hadn't been already.</p><p>What I hadn't expected was the fear, the apprehension and nervousness that held him back. I should have expected him to be guarded. I had hurt him too much all this time, of <em>course</em> he would be hesitant!</p><p>"Huh? Sakura-chan? What was that? What did you just say? 'Cause I don't think I heard you right. Say it again."</p><p>I felt a stab of annoyance, but I swallowed it down. Now wasn't the time to be getting angry at Naruto for being slow. It would ruin the whole mood I had so carefully planned for. He was going to make me say it again. Whatever it was, a test or if he truly didn't understand, I would say it a hundred times if I had to.</p><p>"I guess. Sure. What I said was, I love you, Naruto." Naruto's whole body gave a small, quick little shutter. His eyes became larger, and moist. It almost made me mad. I was mad that he took so much pleasure in such a stupid, simple sentence. Before I could start to feel guilty, I quickly went into the other things I had planed to say. I had to make it clear what all this meant.</p><p>It all meant for Naruto to stop going after Sasuke-kun.</p><p>"And you also need to know that Saskue-kun doesn't mean anything to me anymore. I was totally crazy to like him in the first place." I had to slow it down. That sounded a little too forced. It could be easy to think that I just had a simple crush on Sasuke-kun as kids. He was a pretty face. Everyone liked him. It seemed logical to say in my head. If I had been talking to anyone else, it would have sounded legit.</p><p>Maybe if I had been talking to anyone else but Naruto, they would have believed me.</p><p>I had to go back to the topic of Naruto. I had to concentrate on Naruto's feelings, distract him so that he wouldn't pick up on my obvious lies. "Listen more carefully when I girl confesses her feelings to you," I said, pretending to be annoyed, like it was a joke, but I knew I was already starting to fail. Naruto hadn't listened very well when Hinata had confessed her feelings to him, and her's had been so much more genuine.</p><p>Naruto stared at me for such a long time. I hadn't expected him to be this quiet for this long. Naruto was never quiet. I found it unnerving, but I had no other words to say. I was too shocked from watching Naruto's childish, hopeful, wishful face change. His eyes narrowed, his brows dipped, the corners of his mouth ridged into a hard frown. Naruto had never been angry with me. After all the punishment, toying and selfish things I had done to him, Naruto always forgave me instantly.</p><p>This was the first time. This was the first time in the nine years that I had known him that Naruto was mad at me.</p><p>"But why, huh? Why tell me? If this is supposed to be some kind of joke or somethin', 'cause it's <em>not </em>funny at all, Sakura-chan! What happened!?" He knew.</p><p>"It's nothing really," I said nervously. "It's just that I finally realized my true feelings for you." What a bunch of bullshit. I could see how bad I was failing at this. Why was I even bothering to still try? Maybe I could fix it. Think Sakura! Think! "I mean I can't continue to love a rouge criminal. I'm not a child anymore!" I said a little more confidently. I had to let go of Sasuke-kun for real. It was true. I wasn't lying. "It's time for me to face up to reality. That's why, Naruto, you can forget about that promise you made to me." Please give it up. "You can stop, alright? You can stop chasing after Sasuke."</p><p>"Look Sakura-chan, what happened to you? You just suddenly started <em>liking</em> me?"</p><p>"Nothing's happened! And for the reason I've falling for you it's obvious!" It was obvious. It should be. Maybe I should list some reasons. Naruto was always fishing for compliments, but I stumbled over my words because of the hard coldness in Naruto's blue eyes.</p><p>No, I couldn't be swayed away. I'd need to enforce this more, and prove to him what I was saying was true. So I stepped forward and held him, held him in front of everyone. I would live with Naruto. I would stay with him. I would marry him. I would love him. I could do it.</p><p>Naruto was not responding to my embrace so I just held him tighter.</p><p>"Sasuke just keeps running farther away from me, but Naruto, you always stayed by my side. You always cheered me up. I guess I finally see you, your true self, who you really are. When our whole village was brought to its knees by Pein, you returned to us, right when we needed you most. A hero, who defended the village. Right now, everyone in the Leaf admires you, and I'm simply just one of them." This was all true. "You used to be a mischievous prankster loser, but you've become something wonderful, and I've watched it all, while Sasuke just adds to his crimes and keeps <em>breaking </em>my heart. He keeps becoming more of a stranger." My words wavered with my emotions. I wasn't lying. I was telling the truth. "But Naruto, I'm able to become close to you like this. And you give me comfort. From the bottom of my heart, I care about you and-"</p><p>Then Naruto grabbed me by my arms and shoved me away. "Quit it!" His angry yell stabbed me in the heart, twisting painfully. I deserved that. Naruto had so much patients to wait a whole nine years before shoving me away from him. "Just stop Sakura! This joke of yours isn't funny at all!"</p><p>I had been rejected by Sasuke-kun a thousand times. Each time, I felt a little part of my heart die away, and replaced with that of a cold, unfeeling stone. I had numbed myself to his rejections. I didn't care how he felt about me anymore. All I cared about was his sake.</p><p>Naruto, someone I had never intended to give my heart to, to confess feelings for, tore a hole so freshly that I felt the type of pain I had never thought I was capable of feeling anymore. My eyes even threatened to burn from it. I bit my trembling lip. Crying was dangerous. Crying was too emotional, and emotions were too real, too raw. They could show some of the truths I did not want Naruto to see. Even though, I knew he had most likely already seen them.</p><p>"Why are you so upset?" I tried to smile, to ease the situation, to get him to stop being angry with me. I didn't know if it would work. Naruto had never been angry at me before. "I'm telling you I like you now, instead of Sasuke. It's like that old saying, 'women are as fickle as the autumn weather.'"</p><p>Naruto dug his fingers into my shoulder. Frankly, it hurt. "Just stop. I hate people who lie to themselves, so just <em>stop it!</em>" It wasn't working. Naruto was smarter than anyone ever gave him credit for, including myself.</p><p>My patients in how I was utterly failing in this was running out. Naruto basically just said that he hated me. I knew he would. He would have hated me as soon as I told him that we had to kill Sasuke-kun. I had known that, and that was why I couldn't just tell him the truth. I couldn't have Naruto hate me. I needed him. He was all I had, but I knew he would eventually. When I let Sasuke-kun die, Naruto would despise me. This was because Naruto cared more about Sasuke-kun than he did over me. Sasuke-kun was his most precious person, not I. I had known that for a long time now. "So that's it? You think I'm lying to myself?" Naruto gave me a sincere nod of his head.</p><p>I slapped his hand off my shoulder, mad that he dared to treat me so roughly.</p><p>"I'm the one who decides on how I feel, not you!" I slapped off his other hand as well. "If you hate me, why don't come on out and say it! Don't make some lame excuse."</p><p>"But it doesn't make sense! You left the village and came all the way over here just to tell me that?" Naruto had a point there, a big sharp, logical point.</p><p>Instead of letting him win this argument, I got more angry. "Just to tell you?" I whispered back in a quiet dangerous voice. "<em>Just?!</em> Is that what you said!? You think it's easy for a girl to profess her love like I just did?!" Maybe letting my emotions get the better of me was a good thing. Maybe this would help. I was getting desperate now. "Yes, I came all the way out here! Of course I'd come as far as this! It's always Sasuke this and Sasuke that! Chasing after him and putting yourself in <em>danger!</em> You're the nine tail's jinchuuriki! The Akastuki are after you! So you worry about your own skin for a change! Don't you get it? I'm trying to tell you that you don't have to chase after Sasuke and endanger yourself! I came out here to find you because I want you to return to the village right away! That's all!" Because I cared about him. I cared about Naruto. I was willing to give up Sasuke-kun. I really was, but I couldn't lose Naruto too. Naruto had to be kept safe.</p><p>I watched Naruto's face think over what I said. The truth in my words had him confused. He was considering what I was saying.</p><p>"I'm sorry Sakura-chan, but it still sounds like something you just made up. I know you Sakura. Maybe better than you think."</p><p>I sighed in frustration. "Why don't you understand what I'm trying to say? I don't care about Sasuke at all since he's become a criminal. So the promise between us doesn't <em>stand </em>anymore!"</p><p>"But it's not just about that promise now. Maybe I understand better why Sasuke's become obsessed with revenge, and it's causing so much damage. Sasuke really loved his family and his clan. And I think it's because he loved them, so much, he just can't forgive what happened. It doesn't matter even if there isn't a promise between us anymore, 'cause, rescuing Sasuke is just something that I have to do." And there was no changing Naruto's mind.</p><p>Kiba was getting restless behind me. He whispered in my ear, asking why we weren't telling Naruto the truth. I stomped on his foot to silence him, not about to have him risk revealing the plan. Naruto must not be told about Sasuke's elimination until after it happened, or Naruto would stop it. He'd save him.</p><p>I turned around briskly, "Enough!" I was in a foul mood, hoping it would come off from Naruto rejecting me and not on how disappointed I was in my lying skills. I ordered the others to follow me. I left Naruto with his impossible dreams of saving Sasuke-kun. He didn't see the tears in the corners of my eyes. I knew Naruto would never forgive me after our mission was completed. He would most likely never speak to me again. I would be alone.</p><p>But that was okay, because I was beginning to think that my time on this earth wouldn't be that much longer anyway. I had no hope in surviving what I had planned on doing.</p><p>I told Kiba that we had to start our mission right away. I wasn't argued with, though the others were looking at me worriedly. I was glad they didn't question me though. I didn't want to explain that if we stopped to rest, that I would lose my nerve. I couldn't allow myself to stop and think about what I was about to do.</p><p>I had to kill Sasuke-kun myself. Not Kiba or Lee. They didn't know him like I did. They wouldn't have stand a chance against him, despite Lee's one year head start in his ninja training. Not Sai, who's original mission was to assassinate Sasuke-kun. Sasuke-kun didn't deserve to be murdered coldly by someone who had never known him. Sasuke-kun couldn't be touched by any of them. It <em>had</em> to be me, because I at least loved him. It was the only way that any semblance of this could be okay. I failed in telling Naruto the truth, but I could make up for it by taking up this burden instead, this burden that was more heavy and more precious, because it was Sasuke-kun. If Sasuke-kun had to die, wouldn't it be better for it to be done by someone who loved him? I would make sure it was quick. I would try to do it as painless as possible. I'd let his body rest dignified. I had it all planned out. I didn't want Sasuke-kun to suffer anymore. Him continuing on his path of darkness only caused him pain. This would be a mercy killing. It would <em>help </em>him. It was for his own sake!</p><p>There was a small hiccup in me trying to put Sai, Lee and Kiba to sleep so I could slip away, but Sai distracted everyone when he stated that none of us were capable of taking down Sasuke-kun. I got away, following the directions that Kiba had given of Sasuke-kun's whereabouts prier.</p><p>And then I found him, at the edge of the woods, on one of the bridges to the Kage submit.</p><p>I wasn't expecting him to be where Kiba said. It wasn't that I had doubted Kiba's nose or tracking skills, but it had been so difficult to find Sasuke-kun during all the years of searching, what were the chances that this time, I'd find him? How could I simply just travel north, one kilometer, and there he was? I come across him just by walking. I almost hoped he wouldn't be there, so I would have an excuse not to go through with my plan.</p><p>But there Sasuke-kun was, the cause of all my suffering and longing, like a dark, insane angel of chaos. I staggered closer to him, creeping nearer and nearer, waiting for him to disappear in a shimmer of light. This couldn't be him. He couldn't really be here. He couldn't have really turned ... evil.</p><p>But that's what he felt like, like I was standing before one of the member's of the Akatsuki, who only wanted to destroy and bring pain, like someone villainous.</p><p>He looked like he had been in a fight, but I had no idea with who or what he could have possibly been doing before I came upon him. His clothes were tattered and speckled with blood, most was obviously his own. I could see his wounds clearly, my eyes trained to spot them, especially on those who stubbornly tried to conceal them from me. Blood was also leaking from his left eye, and it crusted on the corners of his mouth.</p><p>He was standing over a red haired woman who looked badly hurt. I didn't know who she was, and I wondered if she was the one he had been battling, but something told me it hadn't been her. Her chakra presence was weak. She didn't seem the type to have been able to do such damage to Sasuke-kun. She wasn't what turned him into what I saw.</p><p>He had been about to kill her. Maybe I should have let him, but I repulsively told him to stop. Because of that outburst he noticed me, blowing my cover. That wasn't important. I had to get close to him. I had no long range attacks. All I had was a kunai, dipped in a fast acting poison, hidden in my cloak. "I've abandoned the village!" I had shouted to him "I've come to join you!"</p><p>"Sakura," Sasuke-kun stated, the usual annoyance in his voice, but that was all that was the same. His chakra was completely different than what I had known. It was completely different than it was when I last saw him. It was still dark and cold as it always had been, but now it was more unstable, more crazy and more unpredictable.</p><p>He was standing on the stone bridge, where large parts of it looked like they had just disappeared, too cleaning to have been blown up. Some strange, specific jutsu must have cut it away. There were also two trees weirdly growing in random places on the bridge. I leapt over the larger missing section, swallowing my fear, and becoming closer to the man I had sworn my love to years ago, and so recently swore to kill now.</p><p>"Why? What's in it for you?" he asked suspiciously. Up close he was even more terrifying. I could clearly see the blood in his eyes, leaking out of his lids as casually as rain drops. He stood like the substance was not even there. It was hard to keep eye contact with him</p><p>"I'm not plotting anything!" Why was I so bad at lying!? I tried the same route I did with Naruto, even though that had proved to be ineffective. The only way I could continue talking was if I poured some truth into what I was saying, "Ever since you left, I find myself regretting not going with you." My voice was trembling. I could not keep it strong, not in front of Uchiha Sasuke. "Look, I'll do anything you want me to. I'm tired of regrets!"</p><p>"Do you know what I really want?" his low voice uttered threateningly. It almost, made me actually want to give whatever it was to him, instead of just pretending to go along with my act. Even evil, hurt, and utterly mad as Sasuke-kun looked now, he was still entirely too beautiful to be existing.</p><p>"Don't you get it!? I don't care what it is! I'll do whatever you say!"</p><p>"To destroy the Leaf!" And that sentence confirmed all the rumors I heard, every accusation and crime. Sasuke was our enemy now, and he was smothering the very last of my hope that maybe it was not true. "That, is what I want. You think you could really do that? Betray the Hidden Leaf Village for me?" There was so much contempt in his voice. He was trying to shock me.</p><p>I had to keep my calm. "Yes. I would if you asked me to." But that wasn't what he was asking me to do. He was testing me. I knew he knew I was incapable of destroying the village, even if I wanted to. That would not be my test.</p><p>"Alright. Why don't you prove it to me? I want you to kill her right now." He pointed to the red haired woman at his feet. "Do that and I'll accept that you're serious."</p><p>I showed him my weapon, trying to bide for time. There had to be a way I could get around this. Maybe I could kill him before I had to kill her. "Who is she?" I asked.</p><p>"A member of team Taka, but as you can see, she's useless. Sakura, you're a medical ninja, right?" I wasn't really sure how he knew that. I hadn't started my medical training until after he had left the village, unless it was possible that he had gained the ability to read minds, in which case I was done for. "It's perfect. You can replace her. This will work out just fine." Every word that came out of his splendid mouth was as cold as stone. It made my resolve better. This wasn't the old Sasuke-kun. This new demon murderer killed the old Sasuke-kun. It would be alright if I killed him. It would avenge Sasuke-kun's memory. "What's the matter, Sakura, you can't do it?" Sasuke moved behind me, menacingly, away from my dagger. My heart started to beat so hard I was sure he could hear it. The woman on the ground started to beg. I suddenly wished that I was in her position. She was part of his team, an innocent woman who was just no longer useful to him. I wondered what her exact relationship was with him, and if she was happy before she came to her unfortunate demise. If I had left with Sasuke-kun, perhaps I would have been her, and I would be the one dying at his feet. I almost wished it was true, but it was not, and I was stronger than this.</p><p>I thought the woman was telling me not to kill her. A second too late, I realized she was telling Sasuke not to kill me. I didn't even hear the thousand chirps of his chidori. Not until Kakashi-sensei suddenly appeared and averted the attack.</p><p>A swarm of feelings hit me into a state of shock at Kakashi-sensei intervening. For the briefest of seconds, I was angry at Kakashi-sensei for interrupting, for stopping me. And then logic squashed that away when I realized that if Kakashi-sensei hadn't figured out my plan and found us, that Sasuke would have killed me. I was the fool. I had failed. I hadn't even been good enough to keep my secret from Kakashi-sensei. I had no idea how he had known to come in time. He had always been a league far ahead of anyone, more amazing than I could comprehend.</p><p>"There's no need for you to bare such a heavy burden," Kakashi-sensei told me comfortingly, and his voice was soothing. The elite, jonin and ex ANBU always succeeded in making me feel better with just a soft sentence, but what he said broke my heart. "After all, it was my cowardliness that drove you all apart, when I was the leader of Team Seven." He moved closer beside me, front never leaving the direction that Sasuke was in. "Sakura, I once tried to put you at ease by telling you something irresponsible. Perhaps I was trying to convince myself too. I'm sorry I'm such a careless sensei."</p><p>"But you're not," I uttered. Kakashi-sensei was an amazing teacher, and I was sudden grateful to all of his lies. It didn't fix the tragedies that had befallen, but it hadn't made me so blind that I was too shocked of where we had all ended up. Those little lies had kept me sane as a young girl. I didn't want Kakashi-sensei to think this was his fault. I didn't want Naruto to think it was his fault that he couldn't make Sasuke return to the village. It was my fault that I hadn't been able to trick Sasuke-kun into my blade. It was my fault that Kakashi-sensei was going to have to do it instead.</p><p>"Sasuke, I've told you this before, and I don't like to repeat myself, but I'll say this once more. You gotta forget about revenge," Kakashi-sensei demanded of Sasuke.</p><p>The sound that came from Sasuke-kun was that of a nightmare I couldn't have even begun to imagine. It was a laugh. I had never heard Sasuke-kun laugh. Never in my life, and this sound, this laugh that didn't belong to Sasuke-kun became born, like an unwanted, mutated abomination. It erupted. It roared. Sasuke-kun had truly gone mad. Anything inside him that used to be what I had known was gone, eaten away by some crazy mental illness.</p><p>Then the laugh disappeared, with no trace of amusement left on his face, quick, within the blink of an eye. "Stop acting like you're still my sensei. Go ahead and try something if you like. I'm just itching to kill you." If Kakashi-sensei felt any of the fear and anguish I was feeling from those words, it could not be seen. He stared back at Sasuke, as if he were only an unruly child.</p><p>Kakash-sensei ordered me to heal the woman because she could provide valuable entail. I did what I was told as Kakashi-sensei began to fight with Sasuke. Anything more would just enhance the foolish mistakes I tended to always make. I focused on healing her as my mind went into a turmoil. I was so stupid. Either Sasuke was going to kill Kakashi-sensei or Kakashi-sensei was going to kill Sasuke. I didn't want either to happen. I couldn't stop the tears from rolling down my nose as I pushed my charka through my fingertips. The woman was stabbed through her right lung. It had been a wonder she hadn't drowned in her own blood yet. I had to clear it away so that she could breath.</p><p>She tired to talk to me, but I shushed her. Her trying to speak was effecting my concentration. It was hard enough to heal the lung while she was breathing alone.</p><p>I was almost done healing her when I started listening in on Sasuke-kun's and Kakashi-sensei's fight. I hadn't wanted really to listen, as I was sure to hear the death of one of them. I didn't think I could bare to know that Kakashi-sensei had slain Sasuke-kun, but as the fight dragged on, I was afraid he wouldn't be able to. Sasuke-kun seemed to have gotten stronger, and by what Kakashi-sensei was saying to him, it looked like he was still trying to save Sasuke-kun with his words, make him change his mind. I was deathly afraid that such a mistake would cost Kakashi-sensei his life, so when I heard Sasuke-kun curse at his own sight, I thought it was my chance.</p><p>Besides, this wasn't Kakashi-sensei's burden. He had done the best anyone could as our teacher. Too many of Kakashi-sensei's friend's deaths were on his conscious already. I didn't want one more on it when he carried such a burden. Sasuke-kun should be slain by me, the one person alive who loved him more than anything.</p><p>Sasuke-kun was blinded. I saw him rubbing at his blood filled eyes. He couldn't see. He couldn't see me. I left the woman. Kakashi-sensei and Sasuke had taken their fight to the water below us. I silently infused chakra to my feet, treading lightly over the stone, hanging upside down underneath the bridge. Sasuke was facing away from me, rubbing at his eyes.</p><p>He didn't know I was there. I moved onward. Kakashi-sensei could clearly see me, but he was in no state to move. He had already run out of too much chakra. Now was my chance.</p><p>I ran forward, my feet now tapping against the stone brick, but if I got there quick enough, it wouldn't matter if Sasuke could hear me. Besides, I could tell he had no more chakra left either. He wouldn't be able to perform any jutsus. All I had to do was drive my knife into his back. It would be one, oh so simple move.</p><p>I hesitated before leaving the underside of the bridge, watching Sasuke-kun rub at his eyes like a stuborn crying child. The memories of our school days came back to me, memories of us being part of a team, Sasuke's small kindnesses to Naruto and I. The three of us had been the best of friends. We were supposed to always be together.</p><p>I remembered when Sasuke-kun had left the village, and how I didn't understand him. I hadn't understood what it was like to be alone. Sasuke-kun loved his clan so much. That was what Naruto said. That was why he had turned into this, because the people he loved were gone.</p><p>I loved him. I had been lonely with every day and night after Sasuke-kun was gone. I had suffered through it for him, for it was what he wanted. I would suffer every day of my life without him, because he had thanked me before he left the village. He had <em>thanked</em> me. He didn't specify for what, but over time it hadn't mattered. I had come to the conclusion that he was thanking me for just simply everything, anything, whatever I had done, for every annoying or un-useful time I may have been. He was glad that he had known me. And that was enough to love him every day without him with me. That was enough for me to always be in love with him.</p><p>But it wasn't enough for me to kill him.</p><p>I was able to go as far as dropping down behind him without making so much of a water ripple, but my hand stopped before an inch over the Uchiha symbol stitched onto his back. Sasuke-kun had worn an insignia just like that when we were young. The red and white colors muddled together as fresh tears welled in my eyes. I kept hearing his voice, from three years ago, thanking me.</p><p>Of course Sasuke knew I was now behind him.</p><p>He spun around, and even though he wasn't able to see me, he knew exactly where my throat was, his right hand grasping it as he lifted me right off my feet. His grip on me was unforgiving, clutching me so tightly there was no possibility of screaming. He pulled my poison dagger from my hand and stared at me unseeingly. His eyes were dead, clouded, though it wasn't like he needed to see to accomplish a fatal blow. His eyes were blank, but his face was written with murder. He would kill me for attempting his life. I honestly felt sorry. I was sorry that I had made him so angry at me. I felt like I deserved to die by his hand.</p><p>Kakashi-sensei had move toward us but there was no way he'd be able to save me this time. I would die, like I had always deserved too.</p><p>I had never been anything but an annoying, useless brat.</p><p>But I didn't die, because Naruto miraculously appeared, his timing even closer than when Kakashi-sensie had first rescued me. I don't know why I was so taken a back with Naruto's appearance. I was more dazed to see him than Kakash-sensie, though it made sense that the reason why Naruto had come was because he had went after our teacher.</p><p>Naruto had grabbed me into his arms, out of Sasuke's surprised grip. We skidded across the water, Naruto's gaze going around his shoulder to catch Sasuke's blind stare.</p><p>The look in Naruto's eyes was one that I had never seen before. He was beyond furious. I thought Naruto had been upset with me when I had confessed to him, but that was only one percent compared to what was in his eyes now. His glare wasn't one that he would have given an enemy, not even one that he hated as much as Pein. There wasn't hatred in his eyes, or want of vengeance. It was disappointment and furry. Because Naruto cared. He cared so much, and he was sure as hell to do something about all of this.</p><p>It was powerful enough to make anyone's heart stop and Sasuke-kun couldn't even see it.</p><p>As Naruto pressed me into him, Kakashi-sensei finally reached Sasuke and attacked. They battled each other with Taijutsu, Sasuke-kun still blind, until I started to see some eye movement from him. It seemed like Sasuke was beginning to regain some of his sight back, though I doubted he could use the Sharingan anytime soon. Once Sasuke could see all of us, he landed a safe distance away, Kakashi-sensei regrouping with Naruto and I.</p><p>Sasuke had almost succeeded in killing me twice now. His intent was very clear and there was no mistake about it. Sasuke wanted to kill all of us. He wanted to sever our bonds, kill everyone in the Hidden Leaf and then destroy the village until it was nothing. He told us, right to our faces that very moment. Kakashi-sensei asked Naruto and I if we understood how far gone Sasuke was. He was never coming back.</p><p>Naruto ignored Kakashi-sensei. Even now, I could tell he was going to be stuborn about this. Naruto was enraged with Sasuke, but he would not kill him. Even though Naruto had just saved my life, I wasn't entirely sure what he would do if more fighting began. Naruto wouldn't betray us, but he wouldn't betray Sasuke either.</p><p>When Naruto finally did speak it was to Sasuke. He simply told him that he understood. Understood what, I had no idea! Naruto understood why Sasuke wanted to kill all of us? Was he losing his mind as well? As Naruto continued to speak to Sasuke, he told him that he learned the truth about Itachi. I hadn't known what they were talking about, because naturally, the truth had failed to be mentioned to me. Like always, Naruto knew and understood Sasuke so much better than I ever did.</p><p>Sasuke's denial in Naruto's understanding was a natural thing, but it still made me angry. Naruto had been the only one in the entire village that hadn't given up on him yet. Naruto was the only one that still thought he could rescue him, and Sasuke was carelessly pushing him away when Naruto was his last hope. I spoke up about it, because I couldn't really believe it myself.</p><p>Naruto hadn't given up on Sasuke, and <em>I</em> had. I had given up. Even now, I didn't think we could save Sasuke. Here he was, sprouting all the murder he wish to do to us. How could that be reasoned? It was clear that Sasuke's mind had changed. He wasn't the same and it truly didn't seem fixable, but Naruto refused to give up.</p><p>Naruto never went back on his word, and he had given his word that he had to save Sasuke. Sasuke meant everything to Naruto. Sasuke may have even meant more to Naruto than he did to me. He had to, right? Because I had given up on him.</p><p>Naruto made some shadow clones, but Kakashi-sensei held his arm up to back Naruto off, claiming that this was still all our sensei's burden. He told the two of us to get out of here. "If you don't, you're see something you wish you hadn't."</p><p>I started to argue, but Kakashi-sensei told me that Sasuke would be immune to the poison I had made, for he still had Orochimaru's cells in him. How come I hadn't thought of that before?! And of course, Kakashi-sensi had to mention my feelings. I wouldn't be able to go through hurting Sasuke-kun, no matter what I did.</p><p>"You said we'd see something we wish we hadn't! Are you going to kill Sasuke?" Naruto's question wasn't naive and innocent. He knew the answer.</p><p>Sasuke ran forward with his chidori.</p><p>Before Kakashi-sensei could respond, Naruto grabbed him and ran forward to Sasuke instead, at full attack with the rasengan. It was like when I had watched the two of them three years ago on top of the hospital, only Sasuke's intent really was to kill this time.</p><p>The after shock sent both of them into the opposite direction. Kakashi-sensei was able to catch Naruto before he hurt himself.</p><p>A white, humanoid creature caught Sasuke, but I was hyperventilating too much to question who or what it was, trying to keep my footing on the now roaring water.</p><p>"Naruto, I told you to go back to the village!" Kakashi-sensei scolded as he settled Naruto down on the water's service.</p><p>Naruto continued to ignore him. His only focus was on Sasuke. "It's... all clear to me now."</p><p>"It's all clear? What do you mean by that, Naruto?" Kakashi-sensei asked.</p><p>Sasuke was tired now. He probably shouldn't have tried to use that chidori against Naruto when he had. There was no way he could perform another attack. He was having trouble just breathing. Sasuke wasn't going to win this fight. He was outnumbered, and even though I didn't know what the white creature was capable of, it was most likely Sasuke would attempt to retreat soon.</p><p>Anxiously I waited. Now would have been the perfect opportunity to strike if we were to take down Sasuke, but I wasn't even sure if that was the plan anymore. It certainly wasn't Naruto's plan. I had no idea what Naruto was planning on doing. So Kakashi-sensei and I did nothing as Naruto and Sasuke stared at each other, communicating silently like they had always been able to do, no matter what side of the battle they were on.</p><p>Then another man appeared, in an orange mask. Kakashi-sensei called him Madara. He knew who Naruto was, and that Naruto was the nine tails. He announced that Sasuke needed to retreat.</p><p>Madara called the white thing Zetsu, and Zetsu retreated first. Naruto started to walk forward, as if he didn't have a care in the world.</p><p>"Naruto!" Kakashi-sensei called after him.</p><p>"I know," Naruto grumbled back. "Don't worry. I'm alright. There's just one thing I want to make sure to say to Sasuke before he leaves."</p><p>And Sasuke looked up, willing to listen. That surprised me more than everything else that had happened within this short hour. Sasuke, as mad and crazed as he was, was willing to listen to Naruto, not Kakashi-sensei, not I, not even Madara, who wanted to leave now, but Naruto.</p><p>"Sasuke, do you remember? Do you remember what you said to me long ago back in the Final Valley, the thing about high level shinobi? Trading blows just now, I learned a lot about you and what you're thinking. It means we've become high level shinobi! Both you and me. So Sasuke, how about it? Can you tell what it is I'm thinking right now? Can you read my mind, and can you understand if you and I fight each other, we will both die?" Naruto's voice carried across the space between the the two opposing sides. Sasuke said nothing back, like Naruto was talking to nothing but open air. "Sasuke, if you attack the Hidden Leaf, I will fight you. Don't doubt that. But until that day, save your hatred. Then you can throw all of it at me! I'm the only one that can handle all that hate! Do you understand?! I'm the only one that can fulfill that duty!" Sasuke was becoming upset by Naruto's words. I saw him clench his teeth. His mouth started to tremble. "So I'll bare the burden of your hatred and I'll die with you."</p><p>Naruto needed to stop talking. Perhaps Sasuke was realizing it to. Every word that came out of Naruto's mouth was an oath, and Naruto never went back on his word. He was cursing himself the more he spoke.</p><p>He meant everything he would say. The promise he made to me to bring Sasuke-kun back could only be voided by this new pledge. If Sasuke had to die, Naruto was going to die right along with him.</p><p>I was suddenly angry, and all too scared. Naruto was stuborn. He would do what he said, but he couldn't keep all of his promises. It was physically impossible! How could Naruto die with Sasuke? He told <em>me </em>that he wouldn't. That he <em>wouldn't</em> die on me, that he wouldn't leave me all alone. Naruto really was a fool. I had believed in him, and everything he said. So far, there had been no reason not to, despite how unbelievable his promises seemed to be. I had faith that he had a way, he had some sort of plan. But Naruto was a idiot. Surely he'd have realized that he was making contradictions, if he had any idea on what he was doing at all.</p><p>"What is it with you, huh?" Sasuke growled. "Just what in the hell do you want from me!? Why are you so fixated on me?!" he shouted, confused. Honestly, it was something I didn't understand either. Why did Naruto always go so far for Sasuke? He even was willing to choose Sasuke in death over life with me.</p><p>Naruto simply stated, "Because I'm your friend." But friends don't become fixated on each other. Friend's don't make suicide pacts. Was it really just because Naruto was Sasuke's friend? Could it be as simple as that? "Sasuke, from the moment we met, I knew it was going to take a lot of work to understand you." He thrusted his fist in Sasuke's directing. "Exchanging punches is a way that we can understand each other. I know that! Like I said just now, it means the both of us have become high level shinobi. I haven't given up on you! Not yet. I will take you back to the Hidden Leaf Village. I'll never change my mind!"</p><p>Naruto's voice was so pleasant, despite the situation. He words were so warm, and I felt myself start to believe in them again. Perhaps Naruto could keep all his promises. All he had to do was really "rescue" Sasuke. Change his mind. And bring him home. I started to have faith. It was small, and subtle but there was something in Sasuke-kun's body language that changed once Naruto had appeared. He was still crazy and insane, but slightly more subdued, and it was because of Naruto. Perhaps Naruto could change his heart.</p><p>I thought all my tears had dried out. I had become so exhausted and numb that I didn't think I could cry anymore, but Naruto's words reawakening the hope in me, and made my face grow warm again. I was so grateful for him. I was so grateful for Naruto's existence. I could hardly stand it. I didn't know how to thank him. I felt undeserving that I benefited so much from him.</p><p>"Alright, I guess I'm done nagging you for now, Sasuke," Naruto laughed easily. "Dammit, this is ridiculous. I'm no good with words. I shouldn't try to lecture you! I guess if the worse does happen, and the both of us wind up dying, you won't be an Uchiha, and I won't be the nine tails jinchurki. And we will understand each other in the after life."</p><p>"I'm not going to change," Sasuke murmured stubbornly. "I don't want to understand you. I'm not going to die. You're the one that's going to die."</p><p>"Then we'll die together, Sasuke."</p><p>"Fine by me, but at least I'll take you down first!"</p><p>"No problem, since it's clear that you still don't respect me at all!"</p><p>"That's enough, Naruto." Kakashi-sensei silenced. He must have been getting uneasy with the tension between the two sides. Sure, all Naruto and Sasuke-kun were doing was talking, but at a drop of a hat, it could have changed into another physical fight.</p><p>I felt humiliated that Naruto had so much resolve, while I was hesitant in everything I did. Naruto better not die. The both of them better not die. I reined in my emotions. I wouldn't let them die on me. That would be my new goal. That was the whole reason I became a medical ninja! I would make sure that the both of them would survive! Those fucking idiots. They weren't going to leave me and die together.</p><p>Suddenly Sasuke and the Akatsuki were gone, disappearing into thin air, the way Sasuke always could so easily.</p>
<hr/><p>Sasuke-kun.</p><p>Compared to Naruto's tanned skin, Sasuke-kun's skin had always been pale. Now, it was even paler than mine, and I was rather naturally faired skinned. Sasuke-kun's skin was white, his cheeks like two porcelain plates that sat on his face. I had a brief thought that the overly paleness of his skin was from his blood loss.</p><p>His eyes were like two burning black holes on a white piece of paper, framed in obsidian hair. The pristine picture was a canvas panted with red, some of the blood bright, wet and slick, while other parts were speckled in drying russet.</p><p>That wasn't the only thing that was flawing the beautiful face. His lips were chapped. I probably wouldn't have noticed if they weren't so pale against the scabs. There were slight wrinkles around his eyelids, and perse bruising under his eyes. Sweat and blood tangled in his hair, causing some of it to stick to his skin, while the rest stubbornly stuck out in random places.</p><p>Sasuke-kun shouldn't be this disheveled. It was very unlike him.</p><p>Oh, that's right. Sasuke-kun was our enemy now. He joined the Akasuki. That's why he wasn't the same. That's why there were mars in his perfection.</p><p>Looking deeper into his eyes, I saw the pupils were faded, clouded with cataracts. He couldn't see. He couldn't see me. This was my chance.</p><p>Sasuke-kun coughed, fresh blood coloring his colorless lips. I realized my poisoned kunai was already embedded into his chest, my hand still gripping the handle. He raised his own hand to clutch my wrist, breath coming out fast and shallow. His eyes kept blinking, trying to see through the fog, trying to make me out in the shadows. The rapid movement made the blood droplet that had been clinging to the lids fall, painting his cheeks even more.</p><p>His knees buckled. I caught him, lowering him gently to the ground. "Sasuke-kun!" I gasped, surprised on how bad his condition was, even though I was the one that did this to him.</p><p>I laid him onto his back, my own body trembling, afraid that I could be hurting him more as his chest heaved up and down with the kunai still in it. A layer of sweat made his pale skin gleam brightly. He coughed more on his back, so I placed his head on my lap to help him breath. "Sasuke-kun, I'm so sorry!" I sobbed. "I had to... You were... You were going to destroy the village!"</p><p>Sasuke-kun said nothing, most likely because he couldn't. What would he say anyway? That he hated me? His eyes and mouth were wide, staring blankly at nothing. He raised a hand in my direction.</p><p>And then he did speak."Sa-Sakura..." My name. And that was all. His fingertips grazed my cheek. He was weak, and any tenderness was probably unintentional, but it didn't matter. I grabbed his hand and kissed it. "Sasuke-kun..." His grip tightened around my fingers, his breath speeding up even more as the poison worked through his system. His lips were turning blue. "No. Wait. Sasuke-kun! Don't die! I'm sorry! I changed my mine!" I had to give him the antidote! I knew it was the wrong thing to do, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't just watch as Sasuke-kun died before my eyes when I had the power to stop it. I started to search through my pack, frantically looking for the antidote. It wasn't there. That wasn't right. I knew I packed it! I wouldn't have taken the poison with me if I didn't have an antidote.</p><p>Oh wait. I had giving the antidote to Naruto when Sasuke-kun had scraped his cheek with my kunai.</p><p>A gargled noise escaped Sasuke-kun, and after one last violent convulsion, he was still. "SASUKE-KUN!" His face was placid. When people die, there is normally a peaceful expression on their faces, but there wasn't any peace. It was just unmoving. Hauntingly beautiful as ever, but still without peace, trapped in the darkness.</p><p>I screamed in my anguish. Eliminating Sasuke-kun was supposed to be the right thing to do, but I couldn't remember why. How was the world better off without this precious person? How was anything worth anything without Sasuke-kun? I felt like I destroyed something extraordinary, deadly, but great and noble and all things beautiful died with him. It was my fault. It was always my fault. I was always fucking everything up.</p><p>I screamed again, at myself, hating everything about me.</p><p>I was yanked upward and suddenly there were dark trees all around me. Sasuke-kun's hand, which I been holding on with a death grip was now Naruto's, and his other hand was over my mouth, muffling my scream.</p><p>He made shushing noises at me as I continued to gasp in air. "Sakura-chan," he said calmly to me, removing his hand.</p><p>"Sasuke-kun! I killed him!" Naruto should know. He had to know that he should hate me. "I killed him!" I sobbed, my breath still coming in and out so fast that it made little screams.</p><p>"Sakura-chan, calm down! You're breathing too fast!" He returned his hand over my mouth and nose. "Take a breath and hold it." I did so with a whimper. "Sasuke's not dead," he said, counting to ten under his breath. "He left with Madara and Zetsu. Let out your breath slowly now."</p><p>I didn't do a good job. It came out in a gush. "I tried to kill him all by myself, and I couldn't do it!" Which was really just as bad. I was so hopeless. Seconds ago I wish I hadn't killed Sasuke-kun and now I was mad at myself for not having the guts to. "I'm weak! I have always been weak and I'll always will be weak! I keep causing problems! I poisoned you and you threw up five times. I left Kiba and the other passed out in the middle of the road after lying to them. And I lied to you. Everyone is fed up with me. Kiba-"</p><p>"Fuck what Kiba thinks. Come on, now." Naruto scooped me up, pulling me off my sleeping mat and onto his that was next to mine. He tried to pull me under his covers but I fought with him.</p><p>"No! What are you doing?! Everyone's here! They'll see us! What will they think?!" I had screamed. Of course the others in our group should have noticed something. Kakash-sensei was up, keeping watch, and his one eye was staring directly at us.</p><p>"Who care what the hell they think?" and Naruto shoved me against his chest, pulling the blanket tightly around us. "You're freaking the fuck out."</p><p>Kakashi-sensei let out a sigh, before standing up and leaping into the trees to keep watch up there. I had a feeling he knew. He probably new everything about Naruto and I. He had known to come rescue me after all.</p><p>One of my eyes was able to see the rest of our group. Lee was snoring loudly and didn't appear to have waken at all. Kiba groaned, but after Akumaru rested his head back onto him he became still again. Although, the dog kept staring at me. The red haired woman had been exhausted. She was past out cold.</p><p>Sai hadn't moved at all, but I doubt he was asleep. He was a Root ANBU. He couldn't have slept through my shrieking. He was most likely pretending.</p><p>Naruto was stroking my hair. I needed it and hated it at the same time. I felt the strokes comfort me into his warmth, while still sending unwanted goosebumps down my back. "You're not a burden, Sakura-chan. And you're certainly not weak. You can split a fucking mountain."</p><p>"I'm emotionally weak. I'm weak in character."</p><p>"Sakura-chan," Naruto cupped my face and pointed it up toward him. "You're an amazing person. You're so smart and brave. Seriously, the things you do amaze me, like how you can just come up with an antidote to a poison that no one else can, or how well you fix people up when they're hurt. I mean, yeah you don't have any super crazy jutsus, but so what? Without you, a lot of people, including me, would be dead. Be grateful you didn't kill Sasuke. You don't want that on your conscious anyway. You're too good of a person."</p><p>"But why can't I stop crying?!" I continued to cry, snot and tears leaking onto Naruto's shirt. "It's like I can't grow up and it's the simplest thing to not do. I know Sasuke's the enemy now. I don't expect him to have a happy ending, and if he dies, I shouldn't care! It wouldn't change anything about my life! Why can't I get over it!? I just keep sobbing like a weak little child."</p><p>"Sakura-chan, it's okay! A couple days ago, I literally had a panic attack too. Just try to calm your breathing and you'll start to feel better. It'll help with the crying." It took a few moments, but eventually I got my breathing back to normal. I was still sniffling, and Naruto wiped my nose with the end of his shirt.</p><p>"That's gross," I said.</p><p>"I don't care," he responded. We were both silent. I couldn't fall back to sleep, uncomfortable in Naruto's sleeping mat, and I knew Naruto wasn't sleeping either.</p><p>"If you die with Sasuke, you'd break a promise to me. You'd be going back on your word," I murmured, feeling nothing but dread, and maybe just a tiny bit of anger for the boy with his arms around me.</p><p>Naruto didn't answer right away, like he had forgotten, and I had only just reminded him. "Don't worry about that," he finally said. "I'll handle it."</p><p>"You'll handle it by dying with Sasuke-kun. You'll leave me and the both of you will die and I'll be all alone," I whimpered.</p><p>Naruto tightened his hold on me. "Saurka-chan, I don't want to say that there isn't a possibility of that happening, but you sure as hell know that it is not my intention. I'm going to do all in my power to make things right."</p><p>"What if the right thing to do is killing Sasuke-kun?"</p><p>"It's not," Naruto answered.</p><p>"How do you know?"</p><p>"I just... It's not right with me. I can't let it happen."</p><p>I dug my fingers into the front of Naruto's shirt. "How can you...?" I whispered. "I know, you have a very forgiving heart, but Naruto, at which point is someone unforgivable? What if Sasuke killed me, or Kakashi-sensei? Would you still be able to forgive him? Would you still think he was savable?"</p><p>"It's not about what point he can't be forgiven," Naruto grumbled. "He's Sasuke, and that's just never going to change. He's always going to be Sasuke to me."</p><p>I could feel more tremors start to act up so I didn't speak for a while. I just concentrating on breathing Naruto in.</p><p>"He's Sasuke," Naruto continued. "He's not someone else. Yes, people change but there still themselves in part, and Sasuke is still himself. I understand why he's upset, and he can't tell he's being used by Madara. Sasuke is lost and confused and he just needs to be found and put back on the right path."</p><p>"How could it be that simple? If he hates the whole village, how can you make him suddenly forgive it. It's not just one person he's mad at, it's the <em>entire</em> village."</p><p>"Because Sakura-chan... I used to hate the village too. I know what it's like."</p><p>I blinked. "What do you mean you hated the village?"</p><p>"My parents died after they sealed the nine tails inside me. The Third Hokage looked after me some, but just enough so I would survive. Him being the Hokage, he didn't have time to really raise me. I was just thrown into daycare and then brought back home every day. I was let to wander around the streets because no one told me I couldn't. All the adults in the village thought of me as the fox, you know, cause if I got angry enough or lost control, the fox could take over and kill more people, so no one wanted to have anything to do with me." Naruto took a breath as he remembered his childhood. "The Third tried to protect me, by not telling the younger generation what I am, but kids can read adult's behavior. No one would talk to me. No one would even walk close to me, and I didn't even know why. I misbehaved just so people would notice me, and then they'd get mad and punish me or chase me away and yell. I was so lonely, that I really hated... everyone." Naruto swallowed. "When I was little, I remember planning... on hurting people, to make them sorry, and realize how they were treating me. I was too weak to do anything. I was only a little kid, but I thought, well if I grow up and get strong, I'd be powerful enough to destroy everything and teach everyone a lesson. That's why I wanted to be the strongest ninja in the village."</p><p>"W-what?" Naruto's confession was shocking to hear. It was unfeasible to think that kind hearted Naruto would have such a thought, especially during his most innocent years.</p><p>"But Iruka-sensei was kind to me, and just like that, I realized that not all people were bad and I decided I wanted to protect the precious bonds I made. Seeing Sasuke, when we were little, I knew he was like me; alone. I always wanted to reach out to him, because even in the beginning, I didn't want to be alone. I didn't particularly like Sasuke, because I didn't really like anyone, but I still wanted to be around someone, and I thought he would be a perfect match for me. I never had the courage to really approach him because Sasuke was always so much cooler than me, but sometimes I'd smile at him, and rarely, but it did happen, Sasuke would smile back, when he thought I wasn't paying attention."</p><p>Naruto grew silent. I felt the emotion radiating from him. This was a precious memory for him, and I was aware on how delicate it was. I felt if I breathed too hard, Naruto would just shatter in my arms. Perhaps Sasuke-kun had always belonged to Naruto first. Naruto had stolen nothing from me. I was the thief trying to take it away.</p><p>"I was mad at you, Sakura-chan," Naruto suddenly said, breaking me out of my thoughts. "I was mad that you lied to me. That you said you didn't have feelings for Sasuke anymore, that was a lie."</p><p>I squeezed my eyes shut. "I'm sorry! But even now, I still don't know if we can save Sasuke-kun. Maybe I don't love him enough. I've lost hope. I can't even defend him like you can."</p><p>"You love Sasuke," Naruto stated. "Falling in love with someone is easy. Having sex with someone is even easier, but finding that person, that sets your soul on fire to the point where you can't even stand it, that doesn't come often. I know how you feel about him, Sakura. I see your brain just stop working because of him. You do stupid things. It's because he drives your soul crazy. Don't doubt it. You're in love with Uchiha Sasuke still."</p><p>Naruto's words didn't make me feel any better. Being in love sucked, but not only that, the way Naruto described it, like he had that crazy burning feeling himself, made me uncomfortable. I wasn't quite sure who Naruto felt for that made him do crazy shit. Was it me? I didn't want to be the cause of Naruto's suffering, but I wasn't exactly sure if I was the reason why Naruto was so stupid in love.</p><p>"You can't lie very well, and I guess, I'm glad that I've noticed that you have never done it to me before. It just kind of scared me. You think you know a person so well, and then they do something out of character. I was afraid you had changed and I hadn't noticed. I didn't want to make that mistake again, like with Sasuke. I didn't want to misunderstand something."</p><p>"I just... I lied to you because I didn't know what else to do. I didn't want you to hate me. If I told you that we'd be going on a mission to eliminate Sasuke-kun-"</p><p>Naruto gave me a short squeeze, silently telling me that I didn't need to explain myself. Naruto already knew everything about me. "You've never lied to me Sakura-chan, except that once, and it made me realized something. I haven't been exactly honest with you."</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"I've kept something from you... There have been times... that I've seen Sasuke, after he left the village, and I never told you about them."</p><p>"What?" I asked in a loud whisper. It was enough for me to push myself up and away from Naruto so I could gaze into his face. I did a quick head turn to the rest of our companions to make sure they were still asleep before turning back to Naruto. "Why wouldn't you tell me something that important!?"</p><p>"I didn't want you to know, that each time I saw him, I failed again to bring him back home," Naruto said. "You'd just get more upset and frustrated. I... I mean, Sasuke was still an asshole every time I've ran into him, but sometimes, whatever mission I was in or whatever, Sasuke would help me out. He still cared, you know? He always ran away right after, but he cared about me. He once told me that, I either had to kill him and become the hero of the Leaf, or be killed by him and be a loser. But like, the way he said it, like he didn't want me to be the loser, like he wanted me to kill him because he couldn't stand his life anymore." Naruto's voice grew deep with emotion, as if he himself might start crying too. "Like, I feel like he might be doing all of this just to get me to kill him. He's so sad. He's so sad and alone! If he would just let me <em>in</em>. I could be there for him. I could make him happy!" Naruto sniffled, and I realized he <em>was</em> crying.</p><p>I laid back down again so I wouldn't have to see Naruto's broken face. Naruto was saying the things that I should have been saying. I wanted to be there for Sasuke-kun, but I didn't know how, and Sasuke-kun sure as hell wasn't letting me. Sasuke-kun didn't seem to want much to do with Naruto either, but there was still something there that I didn't have. Sasuke-kun was willing to die by Naruto's hand, but not by mine.</p><p>"Naruto, I need to ask you a sensitive question. Please answer as truthfully as you can, because I feel like I need to know in order to truly understand you."</p><p>Naruto tightened his grip on me. "Yea?" he asked nervously. Both our hearts were thudding hard, in rhythm of each other.</p><p>My voice was the quietest of whispers, hoping to keep the question from even Sai's prying ears. "Are you in love ... with Sasuke-kun...?"</p><p>Naruto pressed his face into my hair. He didn't move and if he decided not to answer, I wasn't going to press him again. "I don't know," he answered. "Maybe. Probably. I don't know. I don't know what this feeling is."</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay so... there was a part of this story that happened that Sakura isn't there for, so I had to write it in Naruto's point of view. I posted it as In Hate With You. It takes place right before this chapter, but you could either read it before or after this chapter I think. It's not entirely important, but it's like extra porn I guess. lol oh jeez.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Sakura-chan!" It was an insistent, hushed voice.</p><p>I moaned and rolled over. "Naruto... Go away... 'm sleeping..."</p><p>"Sakura-chan, I need to ask you a <em>huge</em> favor. Please help me."</p><p>My eyes snapped open to see the wooden walls of my temporary house. We had been home in the village for a few weeks now. I pushed myself up to see Naruto crouched in the ledge of my window. "Naruto!" I said in a loud whisper. "What the hell are you doing here?! My parents are in the other room! Is this a booty call!?"</p><p>"Noo...!" Naruto said in a low voice. "No way."</p><p>I narrowed my eyes at him and saw that his faces was bruised and swollen. "What the hell happened to you?"</p><p>"I don't really know, but I need to you heal me up quick before anyone notices. I have an S-rank mission tomorrow, and if Grandma Tsunade sees me, she might say I'm in no condition to go! Please, Sakura-chan! This is my first official S-rank!"</p><p>I tried to rub the sleep out of my eyes. "Tsunade-sama is sending <em>you </em>on an S-rank mission? Why would she do that, especially at a time like this!?" I went through the little bit of things I kept in the room, looking for a match to light my candle with.</p><p>"I don't know. Maybe she's finally realized my potential since I'm the Hero of the Hidden Leaf! It's an <em>S</em>-ranked mission, Sakura-chan! That means only strong shinobi can pull it off!"</p><p>I stared at him unimpressed. "Is all this "Hero of the Hidden Leaf" thing getting to your head? The Akatsuki are after you specifically and we're on the brink of what could be the Fourth Great Shinobi war. It makes no-"</p><p>"Sakura-chan," Naruto interrupted impatiently. "Can you skip the lecture and just help me out here? I'll own you a big one, I swear. I'll do whatever you want, just..."</p><p>I finally lit my candle and the low lighting let me see more of Naruto's face. "Wait, what did you say happened to you?"</p><p>"That's not really important. Time is of the essence here! It's already almost four in the morning!"</p><p>"You've been fighting," I stated. Naruto's right cheek was swollen to almost as three times of the size it should have been. There was dried blood under his nose and lips. "With who!? Kiba? I told you, you needed to give more details to everyone on what you were going to do about Sasuke-kun! You're pissing everyone off!"</p><p>"No, I wasn't fighting Kiba. I think my arm's broken. Can you just set the bone? I think the rest of me should be fine. I'll just find some ice or something."</p><p>"<em>Na-ru-to</em>," I warned, stressing each syllable of his name.</p><p>"Please don't freak out on me," he begged. "You're parents are in the other room," he reminded.</p><p>"Tell me what you did! Who were you fighting?"</p><p>I didn't lower my voice and I saw Naruto cave. "It might have been ... Sasuke," he muttered, almost so I couldn't hear.</p><p>"WHAT!? WHERE!? IS HE HERE!?"</p><p>"No, it was outside the village-"</p><p>"YOU LEFT THE VILLAGE AGAIN!?" Thank goodness that my parents had become hard sleepers after their retirement. "<em>Why?!</em>" I said a little more quietly.</p><p>"I just had a feeling. It's hard to sleep with the town the way it is so I took a walk. I didn't suspect Sasuke to just be hanging aro-"</p><p>I threw my arms into the air. Of course Naruto would just have a feeling and then stumble upon Sasuke-kun! After the years of me not being able to find him, Naruto would just naturally have the sixth sense. I remembered Naruto telling me that he had seen Sasuke-kun several times without telling me about it. I wondered how exactly many times he had come across him. "You can't just walk out of the village! Sasuke-kun is apart of the Akatsuki now! They're trying to get the nine tails! Do you realized how much danger you could have been in!? Good thing Tsunade-sama didn't realize you were gone! She had a conniption when you had gone to Mount Myoboku and that was for only an hour."</p><p>"I know!" Naruto hissed! "But I'm back and I'm okay!"</p><p>"You're not okay! Look at you!"</p><p>"Please!? Naruto begged, his eyes becoming like those of a puppy. "My arm really hurts..."</p><p>I sighed. "Fine. Let me see it."</p><p>Naruto smiled, relieved. "Thanks, Sakura-chan!" He very tentatively started to take off his jacket.</p><p>"Oh no, you're not off the hook yet!" I declared. "You need to tell me every little detail on what happened between you and Sasuke-kun. No more keeping secrets!"</p><p>"But the thing is, I really can't. I don't remember much of it. I think Sasuke blocked some of my memory."</p><p>"He can do that?"</p><p>"I don't even know what he can do anymore!" Naruto said annoyed. After throwing his jacket onto my floor, he gingerly tried to take off his undershirt next. I helped him when it looked too painful. "When I first came across him, he had his eyes wrapped up. I thought for sure he couldn't do any genjutsu. I thought maybe I could talk to him without us fighting, but did that bastard prove me wrong."</p><p>I examined Naruto's right arm. "You're lucky. This is a very clean break. If you promise not to be dumb and move it, it might even heal without a cast because of your healing abilities. You aren't going to be stupid, are you?" I stared at Naruto skeptically. "I don't have any plaster on me."</p><p>"Yeah. Yeah. I won't move it."</p><p>"I'm setting the bone. Don't scream." I snapped the bone back into place and Naruto only grunted. "Okay, don't move. I have some thick gauze in the closet. I'll wrap it up tight." I diligently got to work. Naruto wouldn't look me in the eye, and I noticed that he kept leaning away from me as much as he could. Annoyed, I would grab him by the hair and yank him closer back to me. He wouldn't sit either. He kept in a crouched position, and sometimes would lose his balance and fall onto his knees. Even when that happened, he refused to sit down. I didn't argue with him about how annoying he was being because I wanted to be done with him as soon as possible. I was tired after all too.</p><p>After I made a sling for him, my attention went to his swollen cheek. "Let me drain some of the excess fluid, and I'll use my chakra so the bruising isn't noticeable."</p><p>"No that's okay Sakura-chan, I can handle the rest of it."</p><p>I took out my scalpel anyway. "What are you talking about? Even you can't heal the evidence of this in a few hours. When are you leaving for your mission tomorrow?"</p><p>"I'll just cover it up with something."</p><p>"Don't be a baby." I assumed he didn't want me to drain his face. I had done it a hundred times before so I didn't know why he was being so difficult now. I dug my fingers into his hair so he couldn't escape.</p><p>"Ow! Ow! Okay, okay, but after that, I'm fine."</p><p>I made the smallest incision, catching the blood with a cloth. I concentrated on that until Naruto's cheek shrunk back, and healed the tiny cut with my chakra, taking away the rest of the swelling. I dressed it before moving onto the rest of his face. I started to clean the blood out from under Naruto's nose as if I were his mother. I was used to doing this. I didn't feel uncomfortable, but I noticed Naruto's blue eyes were still averted away from me. I moved onto his lips. "It looks like he got you in the mouth too." Naruto's lips were swollen and slightly red. "Not too bad though." I ran my finger over it, the green glow of my healing chakra soothing. "You must have bit your own lip." I said discovering teeth marks just underneath and inside. I shook my head. "Figures you'd hurt yourself doing that." I finished. "Now where else? Are you hurt anywhere else?"</p><p>His neck. They were covered in bruises. I lifted his chin up. "Sakura-chan, I can cover the rest up with my clothes!"</p><p>"Are you kidding me? I want to make sure he didn't damage an muscle tissues or disrupted your chakra system. You are about to go on a hard mission."</p><p>Because I was only going on by the low light of the candle, and what glow came from my chakra, I hadn't really noticed the bruises on Naruto's neck. I had assumed that they were from hard blows delivered by a hand or blunt object in an attempt to damage Naruto's vulnerable points. Some of them looked like finger prints, like Sasuke had been holding him by the throat. A small shudder went through me, remembering the grip Sasuke-kun had on me several days ago when he tried to kill me.</p><p>But that wasn't what all the bruises were. The ones that trailed down Naruto's neck to his collar bone, ranging from sizes and intensities, the one's which could have been what looked like teeth marks within them, those one's made me stop what I was doing.</p><p>"How did you get these?" I whispered.</p><p>"I told you, I don't remember!"</p><p>"These... These are <em>hickeys</em> Naruto!"</p><p>"No they're not!" Naruto pulled away from me, covering his neck with his unbroken arm. The movement caused him to fall over, and he twisted dumbly so that he landed on his injury. I would have been annoyed that he was ruining the work I just did, if I wasn't so distressed with my new discovery.</p><p>"They are! There's nothing else that could have made those!"</p><p>"How do you know!?"</p><p>"Unless you were attacked with a sucking weapon rimmed with teeth! Who are these from?! Are theses from <em>Sasuke?!</em>"</p><p>"How am I supposed to know?!"</p><p>"They're on <em>your</em> neck! How can you not remember!? You said you wouldn't keep secrets from me anymore!"</p><p>"Listen, Sakura-chan, Sasuke most definitely put me under a genjutsu," Naruto tried to state calmly, unbroken hand raised, though his breath was coming in and out a little too quickly. "I know that. I was careless when I approached him because I thought he was still blind. I don't even remember fighting him, I just know that I must have because of my wounds. Sasuke completely erased my memory on what happened."</p><p>I stared at Naruto in horror. The more and more time went on, I was knowing less and less about Sasuke. I didn't know him at all anymore. Maybe I hadn't known anything about him. Everything I had loved about him, was all made up in my head. It was a false image of him that I imagined. "And that he must have<em> molested</em> you."</p><p>"Maybe, I guess." Naruto was touching the marks on his neck with his hand, and tracing the edge of his lip with his thumb, like he was trying to remember how it felt when those things had happened. I was feeling somewhat sick thinking about it.</p><p>"Did he do anything else to you?" I asked seriously.</p><p>Naruto looked at me in surprise. "No. I mean, what does it matter? I'm fine, really."</p><p>"Naruto... if Sasuke<em> raped</em> you-"</p><p>"It doesn't matter!" Naruto shouted, in an angry, loud voice that threatened to wake my parents more than my earlier yelling. "If I can't remember it, then it shouldn't matter-"</p><p>"Naruto!" I was trembling. I almost couldn't believe that Sasuke-kun was capable of doing such a thing, but I'd seen Sasuke mad. I'd seen him crazy and try to kill people. He had already killed so many. He wanted us all to die. Who said he wasn't capable of rape?</p><p>He raped Naruto.</p><p>"It<em> does</em> matter!" I cried. "You have to know. You can't just continue with your life not knowing. Here, let me see! Let me look at you. I can heal any-"</p><p>"No!" Naruto gripped the rim of his pants like he was afraid I'd rip them off of him. I had in the past, though for an entirely different reason. "You don't have to. I don't want you to look. I don't want..."</p><p>Naruto already knew. Of course he did. If Sasuke had raped Naruto, Naruto would still be able to feel it. He would still be in pain. My hands went to my mouth as I let out a sob.</p><p>"I'm sorry!" Naruto said quickly.</p><p>"Why? Why are you sorry?! This isn't your fault! Sasuke <em>raped </em>you!"</p><p>"No he didn't! I mean, I don't know if he did!"</p><p>"What do you mean?!" I was starting to hyperventilate again. I tried to calm my breathing but it didn't seem like it was helping. Naruto looked guilty, and sad, and I hated that he blamed himself for a crime that wasn't his fault.</p><p>"I mean," Naruto wiped his face hard with his hand, looking away from me. "I don't know... maybe, what if I ... consented or something."</p><p>I stopped breathing all together. "You'd ... want that?" When Naruto admitted to me that it was probable that he could have feelings for Sasuke, I saw it as a completely emotional thing. For some reason, I thought what Naruto was in love with, was Sasuke's damaged soul, and had nothing to do with actual physical attraction. Naruto seemed to be such a perv over naked girls sometimes. He appeared to really enjoy having sex with me. I didn't really think Naruto could ... with a <em>man</em>, with Sasuke. I wasn't really sure why I thought that. Sasuke-kun was beautiful of course, but Naruto liked girls. He wasn't gay. He told me. He liked girls so much that I never once thought he could ever be <em>bisexual</em>.</p><p>Now, I was feeling somewhat betrayed. It wasn't like Sasuke-kun had ever really been mine. And Naruto, we weren't a couple. We had sex twice. So what? That didn't mean that Naruto couldn't be with other people.</p><p>Naruto spoke like a man in turmoil. "I mean, I would hope I wouldn't... <em>do </em>that to you! Of course I know how you feel about him. I wouldn't do it. But I don't know. Because I can't remember. I can't think of any line of thought I could have had that would make me think it was okay, no matter how horny or how much I wanted it. It doesn't make sense to me, but since I can't remember, I can't be sure."</p><p>I took a breath, having an idea. "We can go to Kakashi-sensei. He'd be able to unlock your memory!"</p><p>"I.. I don't want to do that. I don't want to bring Kakashi-sensei into this."</p><p>"Naruto! We have to! Who else besides Kakashi-sensei?! It's a sensitive topic, yeah, but Kakashi-sensei is our teacher. He's a better choice than Kurunai-sensei."</p><p>"Maybe I don't want to know, okay? Part of me wants to know for sure Sasuke didn't do it, but then I don't want to know if I betrayed you either! Besides, if Kakashi-sensei finds out anything about Sasuke, he'll have to tell Grandma Tsunade about it, and then she'd know that I've seen Sasuke without reporting it, and just might start questioning my true intentions, and suspect that I'll choose Sasuke over the village and put me in prison or something!" He rambled. "And I won't be able to help with the war, and the village will kill Sasuke and everyone will die-"</p><p>"Naruto!" I snapped. "We can trust Kakashi-sensei."</p><p>Naruto took a deep breath as he stared at me. "I still don't want to tell him. I hardly had the guts to tell you about it, but you're the only one I really trust about Sasuke. Even though I knew you'd be mad. I know you're mad at me. You're not acting like you're mad at me, but that just because it hasn't fully sunk in yet."</p><p>"Why would I be mad? I'm not." I stared at Naruto in disbelief. "I don't care. I don't care about Sasuke anymore."</p><p>"Sakura," Naruto said with warning in his voice, assuming I was lying to him again.</p><p>"I don't! I don't care about any of this! It's fine if you like Sasuke. I mean it's not fine! I do care, but it's not because I'm in love with Sasuke, or <em>you!</em>"</p><p>"Sakura-chan,"</p><p>"It's because Sasuke's a dangerous criminal that only wants the nine tails! I want you to be happy, and you should find love, but not Sasuke because Sasuke is trying to kill you!" I gasped in a breath. "Maybe he's trying to seduce you so he can get your tailed beast!"</p><p>"Sakura-chan, I don't think Sasuke would think of a plan like that. He would punch me in the face to knock me out, and then drag me away, rather than kiss me and hope that I follow him home. Sasuke just wouldn't <em>do</em> that."</p><p>"And the hickeys are from?"</p><p>"Shit," Naruto swore.</p><p>"It looked like he enjoyed himself."</p><p>"But why didn't he take me? He could have easily captured me if I was under a genjustu... Something's not adding up."</p><p>"That's why we have to go to Kakashi-sensei to find out what really happened!" I exclaimed. "We could learn some very valuable information about the Akatsuki. Sasuke wanted you to forget something and it must have been important."</p><p>Naruto pushed himself to his feet, clenching his fist as he turned from me. "Sakura-chan," he moaned. "I can't. I can't."</p><p>"Stop being stuborn about this! Just swallow your pride and do it. Kakashi-sensei and I will not judge you, no matter what happened."</p><p>Naruto groaned. "Can it wait though? The <em>S</em>-rank mission, Sakura-chan!"</p><p>"Who cares about the S-rank mission?!"</p><p>"<em>S-RANK!</em>"</p><p>There was a knock on my door. Naruto disappeared faster than a blink of an eye. "Sakura dear, are you talking to someone in here?" My father poked his hairy pink head in.</p><p>I laughed. "Oh, you know, can't sleep so I'm talking to myself!" My heart jumped when I first heard the knock on the door, but it was easy to fall into the flat way of talking I always did when speaking with my father. He never did know how to hear sarcasm.</p><p>My dad blinked at me. "Is that a new ninja training technique?"</p><p>"Oh yea, dad. You're way behind the times!"</p><p>"Okay. Just be a little quieter so you don't bother your mother..."</p><p>"You got it dad!" He closed the door and I stomped over to my window where Naruto was still clinging to the edge. "I'm telling Kakash-sensei!" I hissed.</p><p>"Don't tell Kakashi-sensei!"</p><p>"I'm telling him!" Naruto grabbed my face with his good hand, squeezing my cheeks with his fingers, keeping his balance with chakra enforcing his feet.</p><p>"Don't! I'll do anything Sakura-chan! I really mean anything."</p><p>"But it's for the good of the-"</p><p>"Is it for the good of the village? Or is it just because you really want to know?" Naruto accused.</p><p>I pulled my face away from his hand. "Of course not!"</p><p>"Do you trust me?"</p><p>I huffed. "I do."</p><p>"Then let me handle Sasuke, like I've been saying. I promise I'll handle this all." I glared at him. "I'll be your slave for the rest of my life!"</p><p>I crossed my arms and turned my head away stubbornly.</p><p>"Paint your nails, hold your bags, pay for your shopping, carry you so you never have to walk again!"</p><p>"You already do things like that."</p><p>"Well give me more ideas! I'm not very creative!"</p><p>"Don't die on me," I said instead. "I'll keep this secret for you for <em>now. </em>Until your mission is over. But you better not die on me."</p><p>Naruto grinned at me. "That's all? I've already promised you that, Sakura-chan!"</p><p>"Well, yeah, don't forget it!" I gave Naruto a hard look. "Are you sure you're alright. Seriously, if you're hurt anywhere, <em>any</em>where, it would be super quick and easy to patch you up."</p><p>Naruto laughed nervously. "You know me, Sakura-chan. I heal quick! Don't worry about it! Thanks for everything." He gave me that grin of his and thrusted his thumb up into the air. "Wish me luck on my mission."</p><p>"Yeah, whatever. Good luck. Tell me if you find out anything more about Sasuke! Or if you remember anything!"</p><p>"I will," Naruto said seriously. He lifted his hand again, touching a lock of my hair. He gave it a quick tug before leaping away. "See ya!"</p><p>It was a strange gesture. It seemed too affectionate for someone who was just friends to do with another friend. But Naruto couldn't still have feelings for me. A least not as strong as to whatever he felt for Sasuke-kun. He chose Sasuke over me, didn't he? I didn't know. I didn't know anything anymore.</p>
<hr/><p>I sighed, staring at the now chipped nail polish on my fingertips. It had been a while since Naruto had painted them. After Naruto left, Tsunade-sama sent me on my own mission with Ino and Choji to look for medicinal herbs for the war supply. They weren't Team Seven, but I found Tsunade-sama paired me with the other two quite frequently. Team Seven had always been in shambles, so Tsunade-sama was constantly looking for a place to stick me, and Shikamaru was always so busy with other things, that the rest of Team Ten were left behind. It was even worse now with Asuma-sensei gone.</p><p>Man, I couldn't even fathom what I would do if Kakashi-sensie was gone. I seemed to barely get by when Tsunade-sama was in a coma for a month. Here I always was, crying over my broken team, when none of the members were actually dead. At least not yet. Ino was always so strong when shit happened to her.</p><p>I turned to see her sleeping blonde head beside me. I was glad that I was put with the remnants of Team Ten. Ino and I worked well together, and Choji, Choji was very easy to get along with.</p><p>Choji was snoring a few feet away from us, probably to give us girls a little privacy. Though I didn't find his presence intimidating, I was grateful that it made his snoring a little quieter with the distance. I still couldn't sleep though, so I just stared at Ino's long silky hair.</p><p>I wished I could have talked to Naruto longer before he went on his mission. The conversation had left me with apprehension and anxious. Naruto must be hiding something from me. Just like he was hiding his plan on what he was going to do about Sasuke. Every time I had asked Naruto about anything, he wouldn't give me a straight answer. He just said that he didn't know.</p><p>When I had asked him about his feelings for Sasuke on our return trip from the Country of Iron, Naruto didn't denied that they could be there. Was I really so surprised?</p><p>No. I wasn't. I was just... almost jealous.</p><p>Not because Naruto could love Sasuke more than he loved me. I was relieved that Naruto was capable of loving someone other than me. But I still missed the attention. Maybe, sometimes, I wished it would happen again, what Naruto and I did in the Hokage's office. I was certainly not going to ask for it though, and Naruto was too terrify to pull another move. The relationship would not progress further. Naruto had even rejected my love confession. Perhaps he was over me.</p><p>But just like when I realized that Hinata might take Naruto away from me, I began to feel uneasy.</p><p>No. I didn't have anything to be worrying about. At least not in that regard. Sasuke was still very much far away from anyone. And even if Naruto was in love with him, Sasuke would have to have feelings for Naruto in order for Naruto to be completely gone from me in that type of way.</p><p>Sasuke being in love with anyone... Ha, that would be the day.</p><p>Except someone left those marks on Naruto's neck. Naruto wouldn't lie about not remembering how it happened. I decided that I believed him even though I was annoyed about the fact. But since Naruto didn't remember, who was to say it was Sasuke? Maybe he ran into someone else, a girl who was a Naruto fan and took advantage of the state he was in. That was pretty hard to believe as well. Even Hinata, who loved Naruto more than anyone, wouldn't be leaving hickeys on his neck. I knew the girl well enough to know that.</p><p>But even though Sasuke was even less likely to be making out with Naruto than Hinata, it being Sasuke did seem to be the most feasible outcome, as Sasuke was the last person Naruto remembered.</p><p>I didn't know Sasuke anymore, I had to remind myself. He didn't seem to prefer men when he lived in the village, but he left when he was only thirteen. Maybe he hadn't known yet. But, even if Sasuke preferred men, why Naruto of all people? Naruto was his enemy. Naruto was trying to bring him home to a village he couldn't stand. He couldn't stand Naruto. He never could.</p><p>Sasuke hated Naruto, didn't he? But Sasuke still always had more respect for Naruto than I ever did. Why? Did he know Naruto's true self? Did he have ...<em>feelings</em>?</p><p>The more I thought about it, the less and less likely I felt that Sasuke could have raped Naruto. No matter what Sasuke felt for the idiot, hate or love, he respected Naruto and he wouldn't have done something like that. Sasuke's values were higher. He saw things as the big picture and wouldn't do anything that wouldn't help him in his greater goal. Maybe he would try to seduce Naruto in order to get the nine tails, but he hadn't taken the nine tails. Whatever happened, happened for a certain reason that I couldn't think of.</p><p>I wished Naruto would have let me examine his body more. Because I had to know. I had to know how far they went, and what exactly they did. I had some right to know, didn't I? Because I cared. The whole village could be endangered by the encounter.</p><p>Or maybe I wanted to know if Naruto and Sasuke-kun were in love with each other. I hadn't really thought much about it. My mind didn't know how to feel. I just knew they were unwanted feelings. Jealousy, embarrassment, loneliness, the more I thought about their possible relationship, the more I felt myself wanting to get involved. I wanted to hear more about it. I wanted to put my input in just for the sake of being a part of it, lecturing on how a union was wrong, unsightly, and had no future. You know, anything to snip this all in the bud before it dragged onto some sort of tragic love story. Because I couldn't stand it existing at all.</p><p>But I was too late for that, wasn't I? It was already a tragic love story.</p><p>In reality, it wasn't any of my business. It never was any of my business. My eyes became wet when I realized that I was always going to be outside those two. From the very beginning, back when we were seven, I was not meant to have either one of them. I really should back off from Naruto. Naruto loved Sasuke, not me. He was over me, finally. I pushed him away and now I was alone.</p><p>One of my breaths came out in a sniffle. My hand flew to my face when I realized how loud it was.</p><p>"Sakura... is something wrong?" Ino muttered.</p><p>"No. Everything's fine," I said in a steady voice. "I just woke up from a dream." She was starting to push herself up, but with my reassuring voice she stopped moving.</p><p>"Kay... good."</p><p>I took a breath to calm myself, staring at Ino's back. Ino didn't cry at random moments just because she was over thinking things. Ino lost someone she loved too.</p><p>She <em>had</em> cried when she found out that Sasuke was supposed to be eliminated. Hell, she cried longer than I had. Maybe I was over Sasuke now. Maybe I could move on. I thought I could move on with Naruto, but it was clear that Naruto was stuck on the past. I should just stay single with Ino. Ino had cried long for Sasuke, but after she had it out of her system, she moved on too, and acted like a ninja. We were ninja. We were about to go to war. This wasn't the time to be worrying about relationships anyway.</p><p>I found my arm raising itself, and then falling to rest onto Ino's waist. She twitched a little underneath it, but did not move. I was always trying to steal Ino's strength. Ino could always handle things better than me.</p><p>I remembered what Ino had said about becoming lesbians if Naruto turned out to be gay for Sasuke. I almost laughed out loud at the thought. Ino and I had pretended to be lesbians in the past, in order to get unwanted guys to leave us alone. The game was fun and we were good at it. We didn't make out with each other, but we didn't have to in order to come off as convincing. Just an arm around the other possessively and a firm glare to make whoever it was go away.</p><p>Ino smelled nice, like the flowers of her family's shop.</p><p>I never thought about kissing Ino, but it didn't seem all that bad. I had never thought of a girl in a sexual way before at all. It just never occurred to me.</p><p>Ino's body was soft, and my arm sunk into the concave of her waist. Ino was very beautiful. I had always been envious of her hips, her bust, and her long silky hair. I tried to remind myself that I didn't have the patients to have such long hair. And she often complained about her breasts and hips being too heavy around her time of the month. She was my first friend. She was important to me. I should stop being jealous over every little thing.</p><p>Naruto seemed to be attracted to both girls and boys. I didn't know how sexually attracted I could be with Ino, but touching someone was nice. If Ino and I were really destined to be alone, I wouldn't mind being alone with her. At least she was someone.</p><p>My hand grazed her ribs and then she did move, rolling onto her back. "What's wrong Sakura? Was it a nightmare?"</p><p>"Yeah, I guess." I retreated my arm but Ino grabbed my hand as she rolled onto her stomach, her face facing me.</p><p>"Come on Forehead, you're the leader of this squad. Can't be acting like a pansy on the first night."</p><p>"I was just checking to make sure you're alright. Us being out here on a strange island, anything could happen," I answered back coyly.</p><p>"You're right. I'm so scared of all the plants and medicinal herbs that might attack us..." Ino yawned. He pale blue eyes started to study my face, her hand still gripping mine. I thought about telling her of Naruto's feelings for Sasuke, but I didn't. I told him I'd keep his secrets.</p><p>And besides, if I mentioned it, it might imply something in the way I had just touched her now.</p><p>"I get scared thinking about the war too," she told me, thinking that was were my insecurities were coming from. "We have to try our best though, you know? I'm going to work really hard so don't think you're going to outshine me."</p><p>"You better put your all into it then, Ino. Your healing technique is getting a little rusty."</p><p>"No way! What the hell you smoking, Billboard Brow? We haven't even harvest anything from the island yet!"</p><p>I laughed at her, and she giggled back at me. I fell asleep with her soft hand in mine.</p>
<hr/><p>Honestly, I was glad when Naruto figured out we were lying to him about the war. We, the village, lied to Naruto a lot. I'm not entirely sure why. I can't blame it solely on Tsunade-sama, as the tradition of trying to keep things from Naruto started before she was Hokage. We could all agree that Naruto's emotions made it difficult to control him. Nobody seemed to notice that lying to Naruto always appeared to backfire. He wasn't as stupid as people thought. Even I forgot that. And though the act of manipulating Naruto had always been fun, I could not escape the twinge of guilt that it brought me, and most likely everyone else as well.</p><p>When Naruto found out you were keeping things from him, he would explode into impulsive action and anger and it came so hard and fast that any furry he had towards us, burned out quickly. Then it was gone and there was nothing to feel guilt over. Naruto didn't hold grudges. He only fixed problems that everyone thought he was too dumb to handle. And he never said, "I told you so".</p><p>So I didn't feel any fear when I heard that Naruto had entered the war that we were trying to protect him from. Even though, it was dangerous. Even though it made a chance that Naruto could fail, could die, and Madara could win, enslaving the entire world. It didn't matter because Naruto knew that he should be fighting, and after he won the war for us, he was not going to say, "See? I told ya so."</p><p>Guilt is a heavy thing. It effects all your actions and daily seconds. When you are emotionally stressed, you become mentally stressed, and when the brain makes mistakes the body suffers. With my guilt lifted, I felt like I had regained all the chakra I had dispense since my time healing in the war. The camp was dispersing. All medical nin that had any fighting capabilities were heading to the front lines to assist Naruto. I probably should have been terrified.</p><p>I wasn't cut out to be fighting in war. I didn't have the emotional control. I was over confident. Once I saw hundreds of people being killed in front of me, I would break. I wouldn't be able to handle it. No matter how much I had tried to prepare myself for it. Sure, there had been some threats at the camp. White Zetsu had nearly assassinated me. We were attacked by a few reanimations. It wasn't like fighting didn't happen, but it was much safer than the front lines. I had been relatively safe as a medical ninja.</p><p>But I didn't think like that. I could feel Naruto's chakra. I was fighting for Naruto, and for the first time in the longest time, I had a purpose that was of actual value.</p><p>Because Naruto was indeed everything, at that moment.</p><p>We weren't the first to arrive at the battle scene, as the medical company had been a farther distance to keep it out of harms way as much as possible. When I found Naruto, Hinata was with him. At first that had reassured me, ironically, since I normally found a spark of jealously in my heart whenever I laid eyes on Hinata, wether she was with Naruto or not.</p><p>But I knew Hinata would protect Naruto with her life, as she had always done. If Hinata was still standing, Naruto must be fine as well, but something wasn't quite right. Naruto wasn't seriously hurt, no, but something had happened and it was so obvious when I realized it.</p><p>Naruto didn't handle death as well as a shinobi should. Someone had died, but there wasn't time for me to figure out just who. I couldn't save the dead, and if it was someone Naruto knew, most likely it was a friend of mine as well. I didn't need the distraction.</p><p>I saved the people I could, the entire time trying to keep one eye on Naruto incase he needed me more. The chakra cloak that he gave everyone was reassuring. He had to be alright if he was keeping that up! If Naruto was alright, then I could focus on the injured. The extra chakra helped me heal people even faster than usual.</p><p>I was surprised at myself, how I fared in war. We weren't doing very well at all, despite what Naruto went through to protect everyone. I can not even begin to describe what the Ten Tails was like, the creature that Madara had revived. It kept changing its form and would create one natural disaster after the next. We almost drowned. We were almost all crushed, yet Naruto would think of something to save us in the nick of time. The relentless attacks from the creature drained Naruto's chakra in a matter of minutes, but it didn't feel like that. It felt like hours of us struggling to survive.</p><p>I finally got to Naruto when he was spent, grabbing onto his exhausted shoulders as the rest of us surrounded him in a human shield. I felt his muscles shift with the familiar weight of my hands, of him relaxing just a bit, but I wasn't entirely sure if that was because of my presence or Hinata's. His eyes were glued onto her like she was his personal savior, though the <em>entire</em> army was fighting for him. Naruto was surprisingly calm even though he could do nothing more with the little energy he had, and in 90 seconds, there was a sure sign that we were about to be obliterated by the tailed beast's chakra bomb. I saw everyone around us waver.</p><p>This was the end.</p><p>We were going to die.</p><p>But it was honor to die with Naruto. Despite all the things I hated about the idiot. I didn't care that he was an idiot, that he had made me cry. I didn't care that he had stolen Sasuke from me, and then rejected me and now was falling for Hinata. I didn't care that he failed his promise to return Sasuke to the village, or that he made me heal him and worry all the time. Naruto was still a great Ninja and I would follow him to death. Naruto deserved that. I was suddenly angry at everyone around us panicking. They had this honor of dying with a great man! We were shinobi! This was what we were born to do; die in battle with great people. It was in our blood.</p><p>Maybe I was just being emotional in a desperate time, but I spoke up about it, as I pumped my chakra into Naruto's back.</p><p>"Naruto is putting everything into doing what has to be done. Naruto's words, just now, made it clear!" I shouted to everyone.</p><p>"Yea, he's been going out of his way to protect shinobi like us," responded a man I did not know, who also clearly, did not know Naruto.</p><p>"That is not what I meant! He told us that he considers all of us his comrades from the bottom of his heart." Only then did I see resolve set into the other's eyes. "I'll fully heal Naruto. We have to do what we have to do. If we're going to die anyway, we might as well all go down fighting to the best of our abilities." I've never really been a public speaker, and I had no merit to be someone to listen to, but for some reason, the people took my words to heart, and we developed a plan.</p><p>It wasn't a good enough plan. We were all too close to the Ten Tails to hide, but yet not strong enough to damage it. A tailed beast bomb destroyed HQ from hundreds of miles away, killing Ino's father and many other Leaf shinobi. We would not survive, but I didn't like the idea of standing around crying about it.</p><p>I gripped Naruto's shoulders harder, knowing it would be the last thing I would ever feel. Naruto's shoulders had always carried so many burdens, yet I was going to use them one more time.</p><p>But as suddenly as the Ten Tails shot the bomb, the massive ball of energy disappeared, and all we experienced was a minor earthquake. The reason for such a turn of events was from a reanimated man.</p><p>It was very confusing, as the reanimated soldiers the enemy had sent, had all disappeared a long time ago. No one knew at the time why. Someone, an unknown person, had stopped the jutsu. We were too relieved to ask questions. Viewing this man, who was obviously dead as could be seen by his eyes, made me first think that the jutsu had started back up again, though that didn't entirely make sense either, as this man had just saved all of our lives rather than attacked us.</p><p>I was so confused that I took no notice when Naruto had called the dead man "dad". What I did notice was that Naruto wasn't surprised at his appearance, which annoyed me because I was always annoyed when Naruto knew what was going on and I didn't. I also was too shocked to recognize the face that had been carved into the mountain side over looking our village since before I was born. Or that his cloak read "Fourth Hokage" on it.</p><p>But I quickly recovered when the Fourth asked me if I was Naruto's girlfriend, as Naruto answered after some thought that "Yes, you could say that. She's my girlfriend."</p><p>That Naruto had some nerve.</p><p>He couldn't figure out who he wanted, obviously. He had already rejected me, granted, I had lied to him while confessing my feelings, but I was sincere about the offer. He already... did <em>something</em> with Sasuke, whatever that was. Though, whatever their relationship was at the moment, it certainly could not be on good terms. And then seconds ago, I had caught him oogly at Hinata! It was clear that Naruto didn't know who he wanted to be with. I wondered if Naruto was just simply trying to get into <em>everyones's </em>pants! I smacked him with my own head, as my hands were busy with healing him. Because of my chakra control, it didn't hurt me at all, though it was hard enough to give Naruto a contusion that I healed while replenishing the rest of his chakra. How could Naruto even be thinking about those types of things at a time like this? I always had sex on the brain, and even I wasn't thinking about anyone in <em>that</em> type of way at the moment.</p><p>But maybe, I was a little proud, that Naruto would call me his girlfriend, even if it wasn't true.</p><p>Soon the other hokage came as well, apparently revived by Orochimaru, who was also supposed to be dead, and a bad guy, but you know, nothing makes sense in war, I suppose. And it didn't matter. I was happy, healing Naruto and fighting with so many legends. Naruto told me that even more help was coming too. I started to think maybe we really could do this, as I watched Naruto's face turn to awe, witnessing his father perform the same chakra as his own.</p><p>I remember thinking, that maybe, this was my happily ever after. It it were to end, then I could accept that type of ending. I was ready to die, or win, with Naruto. Together we watched the awesome power of the first Hokage, and all the other hokage, trap the Ten Tails in a seal. It was a truly amazing sight, something so big caught in such solid chakra. It was like watching fireworks, or a shooting star, a giant wave, a forest fire in a distance, happenings that made you feel so small and powerless and reminded you that there were things that were much greater than you'd ever be. In a way it was beautiful. There was nothing more beautiful.</p><p>Maybe <em>he</em> felt me think that. Maybe he realized that, I was thinking thoughts not revolving around him, so he decided to suddenly arrive. No way, in a thousand years, would Sasuke-kun ever let me think something could be more beautiful than him.</p><p>His arrival didn't make sense, but neither did the four Hokage. The fact that I was seeing the Uchiha symbol on his back wasn't right. Sasuke-kun would never show the enemy his back. We were supposed to be his enemy.</p><p>But he landed gracefully in front of us, face away, his arms outstretch to keep balance. They looked like they were in the act of protecting something important to him. Something that certainly, would never be <em>us</em>.</p><p>I stared at him for such a long time, replaying in my head of his arrival and then staring some more, trying to figure out if I was awake. It was a good possibility I was not. It would explain the hokage, and Naruto announcing me as his girlfriend, and me giving an important speech. Yes. This was a dream.</p><p>"You sure took your time getting here, Sasuke." Naruto's words feigned annoyance, but I felt the tension leave his body in so much relief that he almost felt like jelly underneath my fingers. I had felt him relax when looking at Hinata. I had felt him brace with confidence when looking at his father, but him looking at Sasuke-kun, was like Naruto had been holding his breath since Sasuke-kun left three years ago and he was only now able to gulp in air. It was clear that Naruto knew Sasuke had been coming, just as he had sense everyone else's arrivals, but I knew, it wasn't until Naruto saw Sasuke in front of him did he believe it.</p><p>Because Sasuke-kun was so transparent, so ghost like, that you couldn't really believe he was there, because most times it was only a trick of the light, or your imagination running away from you.</p><p>The first breath I took to speak failed, so I had to take another one. "Sasu...ke-kun?"</p><p>"Is that you, Sakura?"</p><p>I noticed, that Sasuke-kun didn't even bother addressing Naruto at all this time around. And Naruto also noticed this as all the tension in his shoulders returned to him. I did not take this as Sasuke missing me more than Naruto. No, Sasuke did not miss anyone. He knew that was clear to me. He only acknowledged me so he could make it a point to ignore Naruto, who was waiting for a sign to show that he was missed, as he always was. With the tightening in Naruto's shoulders I knew he suddenly remembered that him and Sasuke were still not in good terms. He remembered whatever happened between the two of them all those months ago. Though I was wondering how Naruto could <em>forget</em>, whether Sasuke-kun had wiped his memories or not.</p><p>"Sasuke-kun, why!?" This was not happening. Giant demons filled with immense chakra, dead people coming back to life, the world about to end, that was all more believable than this. This simply could not be happening. Not Sasuke. Not the Sasuke that ruined my childhood dreams, broke my heart and tried to kill me. Sasuke, who wanted to destroy the village and kill everyone else in it. Sasuke, who may have raped Naruto. Sasuke who may be in love with Naruto. Why would Sasuke ever be here?</p><p>Of course Sasuke didn't answer. Everyone around us who knew the traitor started shouting all at once. I thought Ino was going to explode. Sasuke watched them all calmly, bored, like seeing something disgraceful that he was about to dismiss and walk away from. "You're all still as noisy as ever," he stated.</p><p>His attitude annoyed as all, and Kiba, the most hot headed one shouted back and asked why he was even here.</p><p>I furrowed my eyebrows because Kiba's question deserved an answer. I asked again more calmly, knowing that Sasuke-kun would not stoop so low to answer the Inuzuka. "Why are you here, Sasuke-kun?"</p><p>I wasn't really expecting Sasuke to answer me either, but he tilted his head ever so slightly to address me, back still firmly pointed at me. One might think it was rude of him to not turn to fully face me, but it meant so much that Sasuke-kun was displaying his back to me that I took no notice of that. "A lot of things have happened. I've decided to protect the Hidden Leaf Village." Hearing that come out of his mouth almost didn't let me process his next line, even though he spoke it slowly, like he knew what would happen when he said it. "And then, I'll... become Hokage."</p><p>The entire war stopped for about eight seconds. All of us just stood there, staring at him. The enemy didn't even attack.</p><p>When the statement fully sank in, most of us exclaimed in shock and anger. The more aggressive of us decided to put their two cents of what they really thought of Sasuke Uchiha becoming Hokage.</p><p>Surprisingly, the quietest of us was Naruto, who should have been the most offended. Becoming Hokage was Naruto's dream. It had been the only thing that was all his own. He didn't steal it. It had been his original identity. Naruto only grinned. Maybe he understood the irony of it. Sasuke, who had always seemed to have everything to Naruto, wanted something that was Naruto's. Naruto always seemed to get a high when that happened.</p><p>"I'm gonna become Hokage!" It was nostalgic hearing Naruto say that. I wondered if Sasuke-kun felt that too. Naruto got up, though I wasn't completely done healing him, I guessed it was good enough so I let him go. He walked over to Sasuke, the two of them not glancing at each other, just staring ahead at the invisible future.</p><p>The First Hokage gave the next orders for our attack.</p><p>Naruto turned his head toward me. "Thanks for healing me, Sakura-chan! Now it's your turn to get some rest. Let's go Sasuke!" On Naruto's order, the both of them leapt into the air at once, like two sides of one being. They had reconnected again in a manner of moments. I watched their backs as they left. I was always watching their backs, for I was the one that was always being left behind, left out of whatever secret connection they had.</p><p>Fuck no.</p><p>I knew what was going to happen. They were going to leave me out of this fight so that they could die together without my interruption. They were going to have their last moment with each other, silently pouring their proud, stubborn hearts to the other. They had had enough gay boy love without me, I decided.</p><p>I quickly leapt after them, landing beside Naruto. I would have rather been closer to Sasuke-kun, but I still felt sort of wary of his presence. I could not just simply forget that he had tried to kill me last time we met. Yes, Naruto was safer. It would also be easier to convince Naruto to let me join the fight. I just had to use fear.</p><p>"Sakura-chan?"</p><p>"Do you see me as some sort of weak woman who can't keep up with you two?" I hissed. Sasuke was looking at me like the obvious answer was yes. Naruto was just a little shocked. I stood up from my landing. "Do you think Tsunade-sama would be the only one of the Legendary Sannin to inadequately train her student?" I turned my glare to focus on Naruto's face. "I'm almost there..." I told him. "I'll be at full capacity in a little bit. Then I can output my true power." I had been storing chakra for over three years. It wasn't as great as Tsunade-sama's but that was only because she had more years to store hers. "Just like you, I'm a member of Team Seven and I'm a student of one of the Legendary Sannin!"</p><p>Naruto continued to stare at me while Sasuke-kun became bored with my declaration. I knew what was holding Naruto back from answering me was fear that I would get hurt. He cared about me a great deal. But he cared about Sasuke-kun as well and wasn't worried about him. I kept my gaze steady on him, willing him to realize that. I was no weak woman. There was no reason to fear for my safety more than Sasuke-kun's.</p><p>And then the smile snaked its way across Naruto's beaming face. "Okay then!" He punched his fist into his palm in excitement. "Team Seven is finally back!"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>My relationship with either Sasuke-kun or Naruto could both be deemed as complicated, but neither was really. My love for Sasuke-kun was pathetic and one sided. My longing for Naruto was only because I was lonely and his desperation made him easy enough to use. There, explained.</p><p>Sasuke-kun's and Naruto's relationship was the real definition of complicated. There was nothing in the world like it, and therefor I couldn't tell you, for the life of me, what the relationship actually was. Calling it "love" was so infeasible and unthinkable. There were too many variables that went against it. Besides, knowing the obvious facts that Naruto was very much attracted to girls and supposedly in love with me, besides the fact that Sasuke didn't allow himself to have emotional attachments to anyone, male or female, it still didn't seem likely that the fiery obsession over the other could be thought of as any sort of attraction, because they <em>hated</em> each other <em>so</em> much.</p><p>I know hate is not the opposite of love. Hatred and love have only a very thin line drawn in between them. All couples fight. My parents fought all the time, though it was just the quiet bickering that older husbands and wives do. Young people had more dramatic fights. There were couples I knew that would break up, make up, then break up constantly. Maybe, for some hot tempered people, even physical fighting could happen. I had to admit that I was one of theses people that resorted to smacking and hitting when I was angry. A terrible habit.</p><p>Nevertheless Sasuke-kun's and Naruto's fights weren't just bickering, and a few frustrated punches. Their arguments were life threatening. They were attempting to actually kill the other. And for some strange unknown reason, the both of them didn't seem to think how unhealthy that was, let alone if they were in a relationship or not.</p><p>Of course having enemies at all wasn't supposed to be healthy. But this was even more dangerous, because Sasuke-kun and Naruto weren't just simply enemies. They weren't only on the other side of the war because they <em>disagreed</em> on how the world should be run. They had been on the same side at one point, so there was a mix of betrayal in that furry. They had both been young when they met each other, and shared a loneliness that they used to cling to the other, while yet developing a jealousy unrivaled to any I had ever seen. They knew themselves extremely well, which meant they knew the other's weaknesses and used that against one another. They were arch rivals, like the ones you hear in the stories that spend their entire lives fighting until they were both dead.</p><p>That, should never be thought of as love. Passion, perhaps yes. But not love. That's why I never thought to consider the two romantically with each other.</p><p>But maybe I didn't understand people as well as I thought I did, especially with the people I apparently were so close to. Now I could see the obvious signs of what could be labeled as love. Naruto's overwhelming determination to 'save' Sasuke-kun was one, and Sasuke-kun's more, subtle respect for Naruto, mixed with even a somewhat possessive nature when it came to who was allowed to kill him, was in a bizarre sick way, another.</p><p>I always grew up with the idea that every person had a true soulmate waiting for them somewhere in the world. You didn't pick them. Destiny did, and when a relationship didn't work out, it was only because it was with the wrong person. It was a hopeful thought. You may have many relationships in your lifetime, but only one of them was the true one. The true one was the person that you loved more than anyone else. You could like other people. You could find others attractive. But it wasn't "soul burning" as Naruto had called it.</p><p>A big part of understanding Sasuke-kun's and Naruto's relationship was knowing Naruto and how unique he was. The thing with Naruto, though he was the one that told me that such a soul burning person was hard to find, I came to realize that Naruto didn't believe in a one soulmate, because Naruto acting like that with <em>everyone! </em>He didn't think there was only one person for him to love. He could equally love anyone at one time, truly too.</p><p>It was easy to assume that Naruto was simply just overly emotional and undisciplined with keeping the Ninja attitude. Naruto crying over other people's problems, and some of these people he had only just met, did sort of put a question mark on his manly reputation. No one ever out right called the poor boy gay. Not even when we were really little and Naruto was labeled as a 'loser' and a 'crybaby'. It was tiring as it was heartbreaking. Especially during the mission when the Kazekage had died. Naruto bursting into anguish sent me crying as well. You would think Naruto had been in love with the other Jinchuuriki, and honestly I don't have a definite answer to that relationship either. It could be easily dismissed like all of Naruto's other reactions to anyone else. Or maybe Naruto just was desperately searching for anyone to set his soul on fire for. He always had no one. He was the defender of the underdog because he knew what that was like. Maybe he was hoping that someone would give it to him back, but in the end it didn't really matter to Naruto. They didn't have to love him back. He wanted to love rather than be loved, so he was the way he was. Perhaps it was because he never really belonged to anyone. He had that sort of freedom, and without excepting anything in return, he could continue unfazed.</p><p>I couldn't. Still if I was giving a choice on who I said I was in love with, I would always say Sasuke-kun. I knew Naruto was only a substitute. I loved Sasuke-kun more than Naruto. Since I thought this way, I had been constantly trying to figure out who was Naruto's substitute and who was his true love. Was I the substitute, and Sasuke the true? Or was it the other way around? Was chasing after Sasuke a distraction to my rejection?</p><p>It was neither. Naruto actually loved both of us completely equally. How, I could not really fathom. Maybe it had something to do with Naruto growing up alone without a family. Maybe he couldn't tell the difference between being in love, and the love you shared with a platonic friend that happened to be attractive. I cared for Naruto as my best friend, and happened to also find him sexually appealing. But that didn't necessarily meant I was in love with him. Honestly, most of my feelings toward him were out of guilt and desperation from my own loneliness. I could recognize this, but not seem to be able to control myself. Maybe Naruto wasn't in love with anyone. Maybe he was only infatuated with the idea of being in love. He was most likely confused, which had started this whole Sasuke obsession for him.</p><p>Naruto being confused meant he thought he loved both Sasuke-kun and me equally, and when Naruto loved, he loved hard, so his passion in fighting with Sasuke was mixed with despair, frustration and not at all of hate, which was the first impression that I had had when I saw Naruto constantly trying to beat up Sasuke as children. Now, I realized that that might have been called love. Or a form of it. At least according to Naruto.</p><p>As for Sasuke, he was much, much harder to understand than Naruto. In order to understand either set of boys you needed to know the rules that they themselves made up in their heads and followed religiousness. Naruto read the rules of his feelings, and never went back on his word. He was all love, honor, respect and forgiveness.</p><p>Sasuke was different. Emotions had nothing to do with the set of rules he followed, which meant that he hid them, true to Ninja Code. It took much longer for me to realize that he used only one emotion to express all of his feelings; anger. Anger didn't always mean he was angry. It could mean he was frustrated. It meant he was hurt. It could mean that he was lonely, or sad or cared about someone, but he wouldn't let that show. Anger was the only emotion that was acceptable to him. He got so angry around Naruto because he cared about him.</p><p>In away, that showed that Sasuke must have cared somewhat over me, as in he had tried to kill me several times along with Naruto. Maybe Sasuke didn't have romantic love for me. Maybe he wasn't romantically in love with Naruto either. But he did love us in an unwanted way, and when you love someone in an unwanted way, and they are as persistent as Naruto, you get tired of running from it and saying no all the time. Sasuke falling for Naruto might have only been because he was tired of pushing him away. That was also why I had fallen for the idiot that stole hearts.</p><p>But regardless of what Sasuke felt in his heart, his marred brain outputted a set of instructions to get rid of what was in his way of making the world right. Selfishly he was selfless. That was probably the biggest misunderstanding about Sasuke. It was easy for Konoha and the rest of the Ninja Nations to see Sasuke as the 'bad guy.' Every sinful act he did was done with his intention. He wasn't fighting against his will. He was not sorry for it, and he would not stop. He wanted to kill and to destroy, like a mad man.</p><p>But he wasn't 'bad'. He didn't do it because he enjoyed it. He didn't even do it for him. Somewhere, in all the cruelty and suffering Sasuke-kun had experienced in his lifetime, his mind became mixed up. Perhaps for his own survival, he had numbed himself to certain aspects of morality and didn't understand that some actions and things were just simply not okay. He wasn't thinking of such little trivial things. He was always looking at the big picture. He was thinking of the entire world, because the entire world was fucked up, as Tsunade-sama had said. The whole world was the cause of murder and death, sadness and hate. No one could be trusted. Anyone could fail in doing the right thing, so Sasuke-kun took it on himself to fix it. Maybe it was his proud Uchiha bloodline that thought he was obligated to, but Sasuke-kun was actually trying to save the world in his own way.</p><p>Sasuke didn't know how to make the world right. No one really knew, but he didn't like to admit when he didn't know something. After the death of his brother, he was anchor-less, floating around and going from one goal to the other. First he thought Konoha was what was wrong with the world. Then he thought it was the Kage, then the Ninja creed, the human heart. Sasuke only wanted to stop pain. He understandably didn't trust humans to stop hurting each other. He believed that only a strict power ruling and controlling them would stop them from fighting. They would only come together if they had a common enemy they hated. He was willing to be that common hatred that people could share in order to bond. He would be their terrible god that was ruler and despised, forever hidden in the shadows, just to keep people from killing each other.</p><p>His heart being in the right place doesn't excuse all the crimes he committed. His horrible past didn't explain his terrible life choices, but to me it did. I didn't know what it was like. I had never known anyone close to me die. I had no emotional pain like that, so I could only imagine, and that not fully understanding made it easy to forgive him, because what did I know? Naruto understood better. If Sasuke deserved any punishment, Naruto was much better at gauging how much should be forgiven, and how much should be demanded back in atonement.</p><p>When Sasuke came back to us to help stop the Fourth Shinobi war, he was strangely vague about his plans afterwards. We did not press him too much, because Naruto, Kakashi-sensei and I were all just too happy that he was with us again. Even Sasuke agreed that everyone living their life in a dream attached to a tree and eventually turning into white zetsu was wrong. But sometimes I wondered if Sasuke only felt that way because he wasn't the one in control.</p><p>Sasuke wasn't stupid. His mistakes were from laziness alone, and not wanting to deal with the emotions he couldn't cover up with anger. There were many flaws in Sasuke's plan. I'm not sure how he thought he could keep rule if he was despised by everyone. He seemed to think he could, if Itachi had done something similar, like he could get powerful enough that he simply could not be touched. And if he got rid of all his bonds, he didn't have to worry about being hurt through other people either.</p><p>That meant getting rid of Naruto.</p><p>He cared enough about him that he thought he had to kill him, because he didn't think he was supposed to care. Killing Naruto would be the only way to stop caring about him, in Sasuke's mind anyway. Caring about someone made them dangerous, and Sasuke always got rid of what he thought was dangerous.</p><p>Naruto was in his way of becoming ruler, so Naruto was to be eliminated. Naruto was his weakness, so he had to be erased. He was going to be the last person Sasuke-kun would ever kill, because he thought he could somehow control the rest of the world. He would destroy the tailed beasts, but they weren't really people to Sasuke but tools. He may have to kill the Kage as well, but perhaps they could be controlled with genjutsu. Yet even he came to understand that no one could control Naruto.</p><p>If Sasuke succeeded, he knew, in the back of his mind that he would most likely have to kill a great number of people before he could fully realize this recent dream. He would mostly likely have to kill me. Sasuke wasn't that stupid to not have these thoughts. He just chose to have to deal with them at a different time. So instead of killing me first, he put me under a genjutsu.</p><p>I had to be the first person to be dealt with. Kakashi-sensei was no longer a threat. He was older, and didn't have the stamina that Naruto and I had. The advantage of his given Sharingan was no more. Sasuke didn't have to worry about our old sensei.</p><p>But I, I was not about to let Sasuke-kun and Naruto destroy each other. I wasn't like them. I didn't have the power of all the tailed beasts. I didn't have a kekkei genkai. I wasn't the reincarnation of a son from the Sage of Six Paths.</p><p>What I could do was certainly get in the way. All I had to do was run in between them. It would kill me. I would die instantly. I was willing. I had been willing to four years ago when Sasuke-kun and Naruto had been fighting on the roof of the hospital, but this time Kakashi-sensei didn't have the strength to stop the calamity from happening.</p><p>My intervening probably would do nothing. It wouldn't stop the two men from fighting. It wouldn't set their minds straight. Naruto would most likely try to avenge me. He'd most likely want to fight even more. And Sasuke? What would he care? He'd probably appreciate Naruto giving him his all.</p><p>But if that was the case, then Sasuke-kun should have just let me throw myself in the way. Or even just killed me. Heavens knew it would have been easy for him to do, since I couldn't lay a single finger on him. He had plenty of opportunities. He shouldn't be reframing simply because he thought Naruto would stop him. Naruto hadn't been able to stop the genjutsu that hit me.</p><p>I was honestly wondering why Sasuke couldn't seem to bring himself to finish the job. Why wasn't he simply getting me out of the way permanently? Why did he keep me alive?</p><p>Sasuke-kun never cared for me, but he knew me quite well when we were children. He had to. The three of us spent every day together. It was impossible to not know our strengths and weaknesses. I had many weaknesses that Sasuke knew of, but my strengths were especially noted by him because I had so few of them. One of them was seeing <em>through</em> genjutsu.</p><p>His genjutsu was a messy, unskillful one at that. Sasuke stabbed me through the heart with his Chidori, fist going through my flesh, but he hadn't added pain to the illusion. He most likely thought the shock of my love dealing me a death blow would be too much for me to notice. I had already experienced him trying to kill me twice. It wasn't shocking or even that upsetting to me anymore. He had greatly underestimated me. And even if he added pain to the experience, I wasn't panicking. My body could withstand a stabbing. I could fix my own internal organs if they were damaged, and I could certainly tell if I was dying or not. I was a god damn medic.</p><p>The genjutsu did put me out for about fifteen minutes. I cannot deny that. Even if Sasuke had been hasty about his performance, he was still an Uchiha prodigy. He was able to scramble my braincells just enough to put me to sleep. It was long enough for me to even dream. I dreamt of a young Sasuke and Naruto fighting again, squabbling, like always. The dream reminded me that I had to wake up, that I had to stop the real Sasuke-kun and Naruto from fighting.</p><p>I suppose I woke up too late. Sasuke-kun and Naruto were long gone when I came to. Both Kakashi-sensei and I were weak, and we couldn't follow after them as fast as they had left. I might have moved faster without carrying my sensei. He even told me to leave him. The man that had taught us to never leave your comrades behind, was telling me to leave him alone, probably dying from chakra depletion, in an unknown country. Fuck that. I had enough stamina to carry him, back to the borders of Fire Country, because that's where Sasuke and Naruto ran off to. I could tell from the natural disasters, small earthquakes, tornadoes and thunder storms. It took a whole day to get there, and I was traveling at an unforgiving pace.</p><p>It made me marvel how fast Sasuke-kun and Naruto must have ran, and how much chakra the both of them had. Naruto was understandable. He had immense chakra. All this time he had been able to do impossible things with just half the Nine Tails. Plus he had remnants of the other tailed beasts in him. Sasuke... Sasuke-kun was more surprising and more alarming to think about.</p><p>I hadn't been with Sasuke-kun the last four years like I had with Naruto. Naruto trained relentlessly, but he still had time to go on missions and there was the even off chance when Naruto relaxed and socialized. Sasuke-kun had made Naruto's obsession with training look like child's play. He had to most likely train ten times harder than Naruto in order to reach the level he was currently at. I didn't even know exactly what this level could be. I had seen some of his power fighting in the war, but I didn't know where his limit was. The Shargingan was an extremely exhausting weapon to use, as I could see from Kakashi-sensei, who barely survived using just a little bit of its power. Sasuke had some advantage from his bloodline, but I knew anything he did was not effortless for him like he tried to make it appear.</p><p>Sasuke had better chakra control than Naruto, but he wasn't nearly profession at it as he should be. It was also very like him to go too far, to push himself farther than his limit. Even after fighting in the war, battling Kaguya and sealing her, running at light speed far away from me and Kakashi-sensei, he was still fighting a battle that was awesome enough to see from countries away.</p><p>Sasuke would surly kill himself. And Naruto, Naruto trying to go <em>easy</em> on him as I knew he would, would also die.</p><p>I thought for sure I would be too late.</p><p>Even as we arrived at the battle scene, it took several hours for me to find them. After the fighting had ceased I had nothing to help me locate the two young men. Another indication that the both of them must be dead, because why would they stop fighting if otherwise?</p><p>There had used to be a river here, a waterfall even. The waterfall had been massive, around twenty stories I image. Carved on either side were two statures of Hashirama and Madara which was more impressive than the carving of the hokage in Konoha. They were even taller than the waterfall had been. All of this was gone when I arrived, nothing but a giant pile of rubble and wet rock.</p><p>The act of searching for something so desperately, that when you find it only to experience even more horror, is probably one of the most worst feelings in the whole world. It doesn't last long. It's only an instant reaction before your brain kicks in and tries to either cover up the pain with denial or with a resolution, but that one second of terror is horrible enough to out weight how fleeting it is.</p><p>I had found them dead.</p><p>Their forms were covered in blood and mud, splayed out next to the other on a pile of broken stone hands that had once been of the statures'. What looked like muddy water still trying to ooze through the rock was but blood, because both of them were completely missing an arm. I was staring at the stumps so intently, that I didn't notice that both set of wide eyes staring at me were conscious, let alone alive. Because blood flowing meant that hearts were beating, and I had to let it sink in that the both were bleeding, that both were living, before I could look at their faces.</p><p>Honestly, I wasn't sure I was going to be able to look at either of their faces ever again. I raised my hands, green chakra at the ready, automatically, without a word.</p><p>How hadn't they bled out yet? I gave a quick check of their vitals which were all suffering from other damage and lack of blood. Their body temperatures had dropped to critical levels. Kidneys, and livers were on the verge of shutting down. The chakra system, which was something that could help a shinobi withstand more damage than an average person, was almost completely drained. They were dying. They had probably only a matter of minutes, if that long.</p><p>The chakra I poured out of my fingers immediately started closing up the severed arteries that were still seeping blood, though even if I stopped the bleeding at this point, without a blood transfusion it would matter little. Some of the veins had already closed up on their own from blood clotting but that was riddled with infection from them laying hours in damp rock and mud.</p><p>I was going to have to do some multitasking here. I tried to coax the bone marrow to make more blood cells. When it wasn't doing it fast enough, I used my chakra to act as blood cells instead, willing it to spread throughout the bodies to help bring them back to life. I did the same with the chakra system because even that seemed to be diminishing with each breath, heart beat and second the two used to continue to gape at me. I was getting a little annoyed, especially with Naruto's Nine Tails since I could hardly feel him. He should be helping me out with Naruto at least.</p><p>"Thank you, Sakura-chan," Naruto breathed, instantly using the chakra that I had given him for the energy to speak. Moron.</p><p>"Sakura..." Now Sasuke was wasting my chakra too? His voice was much more weary and filled with pain than Naruto's, but perhaps it always had been. Sasuke was in greater danger of dying. Once I kicked up Naruto's Nine Tails, he should be restoring his own body soon. Sasuke had nothing. "Never mind me," he said, like he was done for, like there was no hope for him and never had been, like Naruto was more important. So stupidly like him.</p><p>I would have cursed at him if he had been anyone other than Sasuke-kun. Instead I politely and calmly said, "Stay quiet now," like a mother talking to a nervous child, trying to stay patient and in check with my own emotions. "I need to concentrate."</p><p>Then I noticed Sasuke-kun's body do something that I hadn't noticed in years.</p><p>He relaxed.</p><p>I felt his shallow lungs take a slow, and long breath, his heart calming. It helped me. Normally when dealing with dying patients they go into shock, vital signs firing up so that it's very difficult to control the healing process, but with Sasuke's sudden submission, it eased my procedure. I had experienced Sasuke relaxing only a hand full of times, each instance after one of his curse mark episodes. I had helped his weaken state with some walking, and his body compliantly leaned into me, completely trusting me as his friend and comrade. Maybe even more. Like a part of his family, or a dear loved one. I was flattered that Sasuke had felt so safe around me when he was not at his full strength. And here he was, doing it again.</p><p>After a few heartbeats of Sasuke-kun relaxing, I felt something else shift in his body. There was a sudden tightness in his jaw, his neck and chest. His slow heart started to pound just a little harder. I didn't realize what it was before he spoke, but then I knew. It was guilt. It was shame.</p><p>"I'm sorry."</p><p>"Sorry? For what?" I asked innocently. I didn't have time to get emotional right now. There was a lot of red blood cells I needed to recreate from practically nothing, and both boys were sucking up my chakra like sand stone does to water.</p><p>It took effort for Sasuke-kun to speak, but he continued to do so. I really should be telling him to shut up so that I could heal the both of them better, but I wanted to know. I wanted to know exactly what he was apologizing for, because I needed at least one thing from him, after always receiving nothing. "For everything."</p><p>I started shaking, and I didn't will myself to stop, because I needed the energy for healing. "You should be," I answered. "Really... you..." I didn't really know what to say. It was all too much to put into words. The both of them. I hated the both of them. I knew they were both still staring at me, but I wouldn't look back at their bruised and bloodied faces. I didn't want to see the damage that they gave to one another, like precious gifts of love. Those damn freaks. What was wrong with them?</p><p>"... damn... idiot!" I addressed to Sasuke-kun, because in reality<em> he </em>was the idiot. Not Naruto. It had been Sasuke-kun. My love for him wouldn't hide the fact any longer. I had always been in love with an idiot.</p><p>"Oh man, Sakura-chan! You should have <em>seen</em> how much of an idiot he just <em>was!</em> He supposedly has this all powerful Sharingan, but he missed me a fuckload of times, and totally didn't even see a bunch of my clones that were <em>right</em> in front of him! How stupid is that?" There it was. The Nine Tail's chakra has finally woken up and a swarm of life was now flowing through Naruto's veins again. He sat up without a thought. "I totally flung the fucker into the face of a cliff too. Like grabbed him right out of the air and threw him around like a rag doll. Like dude, defend yourself much? So uncool."</p><p>Sasuke-kun sat up too, even though he wasn't nearly ready to. I had to use a surge of extra power just to keep another organ from failing in his effort. For an alarming second, I thought he was going to punch Naruto. But he didn't. Maybe he was just too tired, but he was looking at Naruto in amazement. Almost, adoration and I was suddenly flabbergasted. Naruto had somehow won. He had somehow tamed the anger in Sasuke. And all Sasuke did was twitch his lips in an almost smirk and sigh.</p><p>"I mean, I did some maybe not too cool things too," Naruto laughed. "Remember Sasuke? When I tripped? And the Rasengan went out into the ground and you kicked me in the face? That was pretty funny."</p><p>I cried.</p><p>Sasuke-kun also looked like he might cry, an expression I had never seen before, and that made me cry harder.</p><p>"Anyway, Sasuke, just because you've done this to me-" Naruto raised his severed arm and a heavy glob of blood hit the ground.</p><p>"Naruto!" I shouted. "Don't move it around like that! I'm trying to heal it!"</p><p>"Oh I thought you had stopped the bleeding."</p><p>"You just reopened it by moving it so carelessly!"</p><p>"Why is the blood so thick?"</p><p>"It's congealing because it's infected and failing to <em>clot</em> properly!"</p><p>"Oh..." I was still crying and it was effecting my efforts into being stern with him. Sasuke had said nothing but Naruto turned to look at him anyway. "I know what you want to say Sasuke. We still have some world saving to do. How 'bout it? Still want to release the Infinite Tsukuyomi?"</p><p>Sasuke-kun tore his gaze away from Naruto, staring at nothing. He grunted with a wince. I realized that the sound was his agreement too late as he was already trying to climb to his feet.</p><p>"W-w-wait!" I cried out feebly knowing Sasuke-kun wasn't going to listen to me anyway. "H-how can you guys? Do you even have enough chakra to complete the jutsu?"</p><p>"I guess we'll find out!" Naruto said happily, also pushing himself to his feet. Sasuke-kun was stumbling a few steps away, swaying and not able to stand at his full height.</p><p>"Seriously guys, at your condition, if you do one more thing to push yourselves, you'll die from chakra depletion." I was again ignored.</p><p>Kakashi-sensei had now made his way down the ravine. I wasn't sure if his lateness was because he hadn't had the energy until now, or that he thought the three of us needed our space. Who really knew though. Kakashi-sensei was always late.</p><p>Sasuke-kun paused for a moment once noticing Kakashi-sensei but soon starting up his crawl. "It doesn't matter," he rasped. I saw fresh blood spray from his mouth as he talked. "Releasing the Infinite Tsukuyomi is more important."</p><p>"Kakashi-sensei!" I don't know why I was whining to him. Like Sasuke-kun was going to listen to him at all either. Sasuke-kun tried to ignore Kakashi-sensei as he walked past, but the Uchiha's knees buckled, and the older man caught him easily before he hit the ground.</p><p>Both Naruto and I held our breath as Kakashi-sensei held Sasuke-kun. Sasuke-kun didn't move. His expression didn't even change from the blank surprise it went into when he had realized he had been falling.</p><p>"Releasing the Infinite Tsukuyomi, is important," Kakashi-sensei agreed. "But the tree is all the way back in Lighting Country. We're not going to get back there in a blink of an eye so let's take our time with traveling to recuperate." Kakashi-sensei's voice was so steady that I almost didn't catch the waiver in his stance in time.</p><p>"Kakashi-sensei!" I gasped, reaching over to catch Sasuke-kun with one arm and to steady my teacher with the other. "Please, let me hold him. I still have some chakra left. I'll be okay."</p><p>Kakashi-sensei smiled appreciatively at me. "Thank you Sakura. I guess I'm getting old because it's taking me a lot longer to recover than I thought."</p><p>Sasuke-kun wasn't holding himself up at all, but I held him up as best I could, trying not to show that his lack of helping was effecting me. I didn't want my team to know that I couldn't use my super strength as well as normal.</p><p>And I really wanted to be the one to hold Sasuke-kun.</p><p>Sasuke-kun got one leg to support his weight, twisting in away that I thought he had slipped and was falling again. My arms encircled him hastily around his torso, locking under his armpits. I was grateful I was able to hold him without falling, but more surprised to feel Sasuke-kun's hand clamp down on my shoulder to help him up. Of course he was just using me to keep standing, but our bodies rubbing together made my skin flush. He was dirty, bloody and hurt but I couldn't help it.</p><p>His legs steadied him and his head fell on my other shoulder. I waited for him to adjust himself again, but he didn't. He just stood there, leaning his weight heavy against me, one hand clutching my shoulder tightly, face pressed into my neck. His breath was hot on my skin. I could feel his eyelashes.</p><p>I stared at Kakashi-sensei and Naruto in shock. What was going on? What was Sasuke-kun doing?! The both of them were staring at us just as much confused as I was. After several moments, Naruto spoke up.</p><p>"Yo, Sasuke! You alright? What are you doing?"</p><p>Sasuke-kun slowly pushed himself off of me. "I'm fine," he stated, his hair brushing the skin of my neck as he left me, causing goosebumps. He walked away, leaving me cold. "Let's go."</p><p>"Hey, you!" Naruto stumbled after him, moving too fast and I saw his form threaten to fall as well. When he reached Sasuke-kun, he grabbed him roughly with his one arm. I watched nervously, afraid that they'd drag each other down, but they somehow worked out a system that kept the both of them standing. "How are we going to make the Rat Seal if we're both missing a hand?!"</p><p>"We'll just use each other's, dumbass."</p><p>"Oh. Oh right."</p><p>I saw Kakashi-sensei wince and I offered him my arm instead, though I much had rather been in Naruto's position. I had a hard time peeling my eyes off the way Sasuke-kun was fisting the back of Naruto's tattered shirt. "Here, Kakashi-sensei," I said dragging my attention away from the boys.</p><p>"I feel guilty using you so much, Sakura," Kakashi-sensei sighed.</p><p>"Nonsense! I'm the medic! This is what I'm for."</p><p>I insisted on stopping multiple times to rest, much to Naruto's annoyance. Kakashi-sensei was all too happy to take a nap, and with him fast asleep, Naruto had no one to argue with. Before dozing off, Kakash-sensei told me to get some rest as well, as there were sure to be injured shinobi trapped in the tree, and once the jutsu was released my skills would be required.</p><p>I couldn't help notice that Sasuke-kun hadn't stopped <em>clinging</em> to Naruto since we had started our trek. They were both on the ground now, sitting against a tree, their one arms around the other. Maybe they were just too exhausted to change what looked like an uncomfortable position but I had my doubts. I went over to them to tend to their injuries. It was going to take a lot of chakra to completely close the stumps.</p><p>"I'm not even that tired," Naruto mumbled, but in a few seconds his head slumped against Sasuke-kun's and his mouth fell open in a loud snore. Sasuke-kun only looked mildly annoyed, and he didn't even have anything to say when a drop of drool left Naruto's mouth and landed on his chest. He only stared at it, as he could do nothing to brush it off, his arm wedged in between Naruto and the tree. I thought about offering to get it for him but I felt like it wasn't my place to touch Sasuke-kun when Naruto had his damn arm wrapped so possessively around him.</p><p>I averted my gaze from Sasuke-kun's as I concentrated my green glow on each of their stumps. "You should sleep, too Sasuke-kun."</p><p>"Hn," was my answer.</p><p>I felt weariness pull on my own eyes and I briefly thought about just crawling up in between both Sasuke-kun and Naruto. With a wave of dizziness that I wasn't sure was from fatigue or the shiver I had at the thought of being between both bodies, I pushed myself up to go settle somewhere beside Kakashi-sensei instead.</p>
<hr/><p>I woke up with a start and felt a sudden panic when neither boy was at the base of the tree where I had left them. I suspected that this would happen! As soon as I closed my eyes Sasuke would take his chance to escape! I didn't know why Naruto was gone as well. Perhaps he had gone to chase after him, or maybe Sasuke had succeeded in killing him.</p><p>I hadn't even fulling pushed myself up when I spotted them just a few yards off, both sitting on a log and facing away from me. Feeling stupid, I took in a deep breath and slowly lifted myself to my feet.</p><p>The two were talking to each other, but they were speaking too quietly and too far for me to hear what they were saying. They seemed to be sitting impossibly close to each other. I realized Naruto was the one talking, not Sasuke-kun. Of course. Why would I think otherwise? But his voice must have been so low, that they needed to touch heads in order for Sasuke-kun to hear it.</p><p>I watched Sasuke-kun's profile tighten as he bent his neck to rest his forehead on Naruto's shoulder. Naruto lifted his hand to touch Sasuke-kun's cheek but Sasuke-kun shied away from the contact, trying to hide his face deeper into Naruto.</p><p>I held my breath as I saw the scene before me, not wanting to be noticed. All my thoughts of wonder, trying to figure out,<em> what</em> their relationship actually <em>was,</em> returned to me. I was still trying to reason things out, why the each of them acted the way they did. Naruto had no one. Sasuke had lost his family and his dear brother. Naruto had said he imagined that Sasuke was like a brother to him. Maybe that's what I was seeing; brotherly love. I didn't know what happened between them at the waterfall. I didn't know what happened that time Naruto had come to my window. I never knew what was going on between them as they talked in that silent language of theirs.</p><p>I didn't have siblings myself, but I was coming to realize that was <em>not</em> what I was witnessing.</p><p>Naruto forced Sasuke's chin up to meet his gaze. Sasuke-kun bit his own lip before I watched a tear roll down his cheek. I saw Naruto move his thumb as if to catch it, but Sasuke-kun moved his face away. He couldn't move it too much with it still in Naruto's grasp and Naruto pressed his lips in between Sasuke-kun's eyes, on the bridge of his nose.</p><p>It was no kiss on the lips. It could still maybe pass as a kiss between family members,<em> maybe.</em> But something about it wasn't that innocent. And besides, Sasuke-kun and Naruto weren't actually brothers.</p><p>Sasuke-kun pushed Naruto's face away from his and instead buried it into the crook of his neck, his one arm tightly wrapped around Naruto's frame as what looked like sobs wracked his body. Naruto moved his hand to rub slow comforting circles over Sasuke-kun's back, head lolling backward with a smile, and I realized that he was crying too, though they were tears of joy.</p><p>That was when I knew for sure. Regardless of whatever reasons they had for this happening, Sasuke-kun and Naruto were in love with each other. They were each other's most precious persons, and I, would never be apart of it.</p><p>Something I did, either a quick movement or perhaps a sound I made, alerted Sasuke-kun to my presence. His head shot up from Naruto's shoulder to stare at me. Sasuke-kun's expressions were often hard to read, but I was beginning to know some of them, and this one was of embarrassment. Embarrassment that I had seen something that he had wanted to solely give to Naruto. I was stealing something that didn't belong to me.</p><p>At Sasuke-kun's movement, Naruto made to move his head as well, but I was gone before he could see me.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I concentrated on the man I was healing. It seemed like the tree had actually stabilized some of the wounded shinobi after it had caught them, at least the ones that it didn't drain the chakra from out instantly. Without the tree's assistance now, the critical wounded were in danger once again.</p><p>I didn't look up from what I was doing as someone approached me. Noting her french pedicure I should have guessed it was Ino.</p><p>"Whoa, this guy's got 28 breaks in his legs alone."</p><p>"I know," my voice sounded annoyed but I was just tired. "I haven't gotten there yet." I was too busy trying to make sure his lungs weren't going to collapse.</p><p>Ino knelt down and started healing the broken legs herself. "So, rumor has it that Team Seven somehow managed to escape the Infinite Tsukuyomi."</p><p>I swallowed. "Yes. Sasuke-kun protected us with his Sasanoo." Though I knew Sasuke had only been trying to protect Naruto because he needed him for the other half of the seal. Kakashi-sensei and I hadn't been on purpose. I knew deep down that Sasuke-kun and Naruto wouldn't have succeeded without our extra help. It had been a very close battle, but it still put yet another damper on my mood to know that Sasuke-kun protecting me had only been by accident.</p><p>Ino let out a dry laugh. "Who would have still thought... Sasuke-kun's not such a bad guy after all."</p><p>I shook my head fiercely. "No, he's not." He was just not in love with me. I strained my face, trying to force it to be straight.</p><p>"I'm so happy for you, Sakura," Ino murmured. Oh, if she only knew. I briefly thought about blurting out the truth, that Sasuke-kun and Naruto were <em>in love</em>, have me fall into her and accept all of her comfort.</p><p>But when I looked at Ino's face I finally saw the dark circles around her eyes and the dried tears that still clung to her long lashes. She was staring at the face of the man we were healing. He was older, blond. I realized he would have been around the same age as Ino's father.</p><p>"Hey Sakura, if you want you can move on to the next one. I'll take care of this guy."</p><p>Ino's father was dead. He died in the war. Neither of my parents we actively fighting. I hadn't lost anyone. In fact, Sasuke-kun had even returned to us. Why was I in this melancholy when nothing terrible had happened to me? I even had both my arms for crying out loud.</p><p>"Excuse me," I whispered hoarsely as I pushed myself up. I quickly left Ino, not knowing how to comfort her because I just simply didn't know what it was like. I never did.</p><p>I quickly looked for another person to attach my concentration on. Karma must have caught up with me because the first thing I came across was Hinata struggling with an injured nin going into cardio arrest.</p><p>I rushed over, quickly aiding her with stabilizing the ailing heart. Hinata wasn't trained in medical Ninjutsu as well as Ino and I, only knowing the basics. It wasn't surprising that she needed help. A few moments of my hand, the man was fine.</p><p>"I-I'm so sorry Sakura-san! I didn't-"</p><p>"It's alright," I told her quickly. "He's fine now. You did fine."</p><p>I didn't want to look at Hinata's ruddy face, but it felt rude to not make eye contact with her. "I thought he was going to-"</p><p>"He didn't," I interrupted.</p><p>Hinata nodded her head. I wondered if Hinata knew. If she knew where Naruto was right now, firmly attached to Sasuke-kun. I realized she must have, otherwise she wouldn't have put so much space between herself and him. That was exactly why I was over here as well, to get away from them. I began to wonder if Hinata had always known about it. Hinata didn't allow herself to talk much about Naruto, but she had always been around, watching him several paces behind. For all the time I spent with Naruto, Hinata may have even understood Naruto more than I.</p><p>I opened my mouth. For a second, I thought, maybe, I had found someone who I could understand. Hinata was the only person who could know what I was going through, but even if Hinata could sympathize with me, I realize again, I was still out of place. I didn't know what Hinata was feeling because she had also lost a loved one to the war as well. Hinata's cousin, Neji had died. She had held it together when it had happened, but now I could see her shaking somewhat.</p><p>"I just... don't want to see anymore death from this war," she said. "I just... want it to be over."</p><p>Me wanting to suddenly help her reminded me how I had just left Ino without saying anything remotely comforting. I stood up. "It's alright Hinata. Naruto saved us. It is over."</p><p>Hinata nodded her head, wiping a tear from her eye. "I know. I knew he could do it. I never doubted him." I watched Hinata love and accept Naruto and the situation she was in. She had always accepted it.</p><p>"I... I have to go find Ino," I said.</p><p>"Okay. Thank you Sakura." I winced at the thank you and started my jog back where I came from.</p><p>I didn't know what I was going to say to my best friend. She had been my friend first. She should have had my attention first. "Ino!" I called once her blonde head was in sight. She turned, tears plastered on her cheeks. "I'm so sorry!"</p><p>"Forehead, what are you talking about?" But I was already embracing her. "Come on now, you're embarrassing me," she laughed.</p><p>"I'm so insensitive with everyone around me. I don't know what to say to people. I don't know how to deal with it." Here, I was crying again.</p><p>"Sakura," Ino pushed me away to arm's length. "You're acting weird and you don't look good at all." I felt a warmth seep through her fingers where she held me. She was checking my chakra system. She gave a gasp. "Sakura, you have no chakra left!" I had been running on critical since yesterday, but I had taken the seconds in between breaths to try to store more. I kept telling myself that this would be my last patient and then I would rest. But I couldn't seem to stop finding patients.</p><p>I had been ignoring the failings of my body to try to hide it, but once Ino pointed it out, I guess my body figured there was no point in hiding it anymore, and I felt everything began to shut down.</p>
<hr/><p>I woke up in a medical tent. I sat up and Ino noticed me, going around some other patients. She was glowering at me. "What the hell is wrong with you?! You go on and on about how Naruto pushes himself too hard, and then there you are, doing the same exact thing? You realized you almost died, right?"</p><p>"I'm okay. I just lost track of how much chakra I had been using."</p><p>Ino narrowed her pale eyes at me. "You never lose track of your chakra. Is something else going on with you?"</p><p>"What?" I was supposed to be there for Ino. We weren't supposed to be talking about <em>my</em> problems. I was trying not to be selfish for once.</p><p>"Sakura, are you in here?" called a familiar voice. "Oh good, I knew you'd be in one of the medical tents."</p><p>"Captain Yamato," I addressed. It had been a while since I had seen him. I honestly wasn't sure if he even made it to the battle as last I heard of him, he had taken Naruto far away from the war.</p><p>"You're on a medical bed though, are you okay?"</p><p>"Oh yes," I quickly shot up to my feet, ignoring the glare Ino was giving me. "I was just taking a break. What is it?"</p><p>"Well, you see... there's a situation with... with <em>them</em>, and I'm finding restraining Naruto's Nine Tails impossible when he already has control of it-" My eyes widened and I immediately left the tent.</p><p>"Sakura!" I heard Ino call after me, and she was on my heels, not ready to be left behind and ignored again.</p><p>Several medical tents had been set up since the release of the Infinite Tsukuyomi. Naruto and Sasuke-kun had been staying in a rather particular one headed by Tsunade-sama. It mostly held a lot of Tsunade-sama's scrolls and was reserved for the more serious patients. The boys had been sent there to keep Sasuke-kun out of sight as much as possible. Unfortunately, Naruto refused to leave his side, and if people weren't looking for Sasuke-kun, they were looking for Naruto. Naruto was everyone's hero now. He had loads of admirers trying to catch a glimpse of him. It was another exciting tidbit of drama to learn that the terrible lone Uchiha was recovering right beside him and it was only a matter of time before anyone found them.</p><p>Even before I arrived I could feel a fiery tension in the air, and soon after I heard the loud angry voice of Naruto.</p><p>I bullied my way into the tent because there were a bunch of people standing around in the entrance. I didn't recognize them so they must have been from a different village. Everyone still wore the symbol of the Allied Shinobi Forces. I found it somewhat annoying sometimes, but I knew it was for the better. When someone was offensive is was a good thing not knowing where they were from.</p><p>Naruto was sitting on one of the cots, arm still protectively around Sasuke-kun, his pupils thin slits and a chakra that resembled fire flailing and dancing around his skin. Sasuke's face was turned away, concealed with his hair, knees pulled to his chest. He made no move as Naruto continued to swear and yell out.</p><p>"What's going on here?" I demanded. My voice carried loudly, over whatever nonsense Naruto was shouting. It made everyone turn and direct their attention to me.</p><p>"Sakura-chan!" Naruto exclaimed angrily. "They want to cuff Sasuke and take him away! He's only got one arm! How the hell are they even gonna cuff him?! What the fuck do they think he's gonna do with only one damn arm! It's just to humiliate him for no goddamn reason!"</p><p>"Uchiha Sasuke is an international criminal. How are we supposed to stand for him to be free and allowed to do what he pleases? He doesn't need both his hands to be considered dangerous."</p><p>"He's not gonna <em>do</em> anything! He saved all of your asses for crying out loud, or did you <em>want </em>to still be dreaming?! Did we wake you up from your nice nap!? I'll gladly put you back in there if you want, have your bodies waste away into humanoid wood clones!"</p><p>"So the Uchiha <em>does</em> have the power to re-summon the Infinite Tsukuyomi! More reason to have-"</p><p>"I said <em>I</em> would put you back in, dammit!"</p><p>The group ignored Naruto. "Nonetheless, the Rinnegan is too dangerous to be left with the likes of <em>him</em>. We're not leaving until we know the threat has been resolved." I saw Sasuke-kun's head twitched at that sentence.</p><p>"Whadda ya talking about!? You can't just take it!"</p><p>"We have a form giving us permission to eliminate Uchiha Sasuke, signed by<em> your </em>Hokage." These must be Hidden Cloud Nin. "We're willing to compromise here. He doesn't have to die. But if he's a danger-</p><p>"TOUCH HIM AND YOU'LL BE IN DANGER!" Naruto's voice roared, mixing with the sound of Kurama's, a fiery claw forming from his flaming chakra to replace his missing arm. His actual arm was still clamped around Sasuke-kun. A shock of power shook the ground and tent we were in with just a flex of that chakra. "You wanna really try me, buddy?!"</p><p>"Naruto!" His red glare flashed at me, but that was the only attention he was willing to spare at the moment.</p><p>"I don't care what some fancy paper says. Danzo was never <em>my </em>Hokage!"</p><p>I squirmed my way in between Naruto and the Hidden Cloud Shinobi. "If all you need is proof that Sasuke isn't dangerous at the moment, I can give it to you," I tried to ignore how hot the fire light Naruto producing was.</p><p>"Who are you?" asked one of the men.</p><p>"I'm a medical ninja," I quickly said. "I've been put in charge of healing these two, and what Naruto says is true. At the moment, Uchiha Sasuke is not dangerous. His chakra levels are currently so low that it would be quite impossible for him to hurt anyone. His internal organs would give out before completing even the simplest jutsus."</p><p>The men leered at me. I didn't change my frown. "Even if that's so, a criminal shouldn't have the same rights as the rest of us. He should be in a separate place in confinement until his sentence is decided."</p><p>"Why are all these people in my tent?!" a booming voice rang. Thank god. Tsunade-sama was standing at the entrance, feet spaced apart and arms crossed under her breasts, the look in her eyes making children everywhere cry and men piss their pants.</p><p>"W-w-we had concerns with the confinement with Uchiha Sasuke..."</p><p>"He's confined well," she stated. "What stronger bonds are there than the Nine Tails Jinchuuriki himself? You think you're gonna find me something stronger to help keep the Uchiha in check? Please tell me if you have any ideas."</p><p>"You better believe it, Grandma Tsunade!" Naruto agreed.</p><p>"Naruto, that's enough out of you. I can hear your grating voice across the camp. Shut up." Tsunade-sama turned to the men. "And all of you, stop harassing my patients!" They all left in a hurry. She narrowed her eyes at the rest of us and sighed. "Team Seven, always had been the biggest pain in my ass through out my entire career. Kakashi!"</p><p>I hadn't realized that the lump in the corner had been my sensei until Tsunade-sama directed her attention to him. She walked over to him and kicked his cot.</p><p>"Wh-what?! I was sleeping!"</p><p>"The hell you were. As soon as we get back to Konoha, I'm retiring. Then you'll be Hokage."</p><p>"Already? Doesn't there need to be a bunch of counseling and paper work-"</p><p>"That was already done once. It doesn't need to be done again." She turned away from Kakashi-sensei, carelessly waving her hand to the rest of us. "You three, don't be fucking stupid for a few more days now, kay? Then you'll be Kakashi's problem."</p><p>"But they've <em>always</em> been my problem," Kakashi-sensei mumbled to himself. I wasn't sure if he had meant to say that out loud.</p><p>If Tsunade-sama heard him, she ignored it. "Ino," she greeted as she past her. She gave me a double take. "Sakura, get some rest." And then she was gone, clipped as ever.</p><p>After she left I whipped around to face the rest of my team. Kakashi-sensei appeared to pass out in a matter of seconds again. I wondered if we should be more worried about his condition. Deciding to worry about it later I glared at Naruto.</p><p>"What were you going to accomplish if Tsunade-sama didn't come in time? You think fighting with the Hidden Cloud Ninja is <em>not</em> going to put us all back where we started!?"</p><p>"I wasn't going to let them take Sasuke's eyes! And I've been dealing with crap like that all day! People keep fucking coming in here! I'm sorry if I'm starting to lose my patients but for crying out loud, it would be nice to take a piss without someone trying to get in mine or Sasuke's business."</p><p>My eyes landed on Sasuke-kun, his lifeless body slumped, head down, hair covering his face. "What's wrong with him?" I asked.</p><p>"What do you mean what's wrong with him? He's been like this the whole fucking time! Where the hell have you been? Maybe we could have needed you." Naruto didn't usually snap at me and I gave him a sour look, not too happy with this attitude of his.</p><p>"<em>I've</em> been treating the injured! <em>I've </em>been doing my job! Don't you have healing capabilities now? <em>You</em> should be fine without me. In fact, instead of hiding in this medical tent nursing your sore ego, maybe you should be helping. If there's anything wrong with Sasuke-kun, why don't you just take care of it!?"</p><p>I checked Sasuke-kun's body with my chakra anyway. All vitals were stable. In fact, his chakra levels were up considerably more than they were yesterday. Seeing how weak he was, I didn't expect such a fast recovery. "He seems to be okay."</p><p>"Because I <em>have </em>been helping him. Sasuke can absorb chakra through touch. Why do you think I've had my damn arm around him this whole time?! Because we're <em>dating </em>or something?!"</p><p>Well yes... but.</p><p>After erasing my shocked expression at the comment, I continued focusing on Sasuke-kun. "He seems fine to me then." I lifted his head so I could asset his eyes. "I don't think you even have permanent eye damage," I said to Sasuke-kun. "You should be grateful for that, your know?" Sasuke's eyes narrowed just ever so slightly at me. "The only thing wrong with him is his foul mood." I slapped him lightly on the cheek. "Pep up!"</p><p>Now, I would have normally, <em>never </em>swatted at Sasuke-kun, no matter how light and playful the gesture was. I must have really been tired.</p><p>Sasuke-kun's brained seemed to shut down, just as much shocked that I had hit him as I.</p><p>Naruto snickered. "Your face. Sakura smacked you like a mom-" And then Sasuke-kun did punch Naruto. His fist made contact with Naruto's head so hard that the boy went flying off the cot and across the ground. Ino gave a short scream, not as used to their normal behavior as I was. "Fuck! You know, you're making it hard for me to convince people that you're harmless, bastard!" Naruto touched his head. "Look at this Sakura-chan! I'm bleeding! That's from his fist, not me hitting the ground or the cot or something."</p><p>"You're both fine," I declared. I could have healed Naruto's head but I was too annoyed with the both of them. I jumped when I felt a warm hand on my waist. "Naruto, what the hell do you think you're doing?!" I screeched when I realized it was his.</p><p>Naruto looked up at me, hand still on its spot and said seriously, "You're really low on chakra, Sakura-chan..." I hadn't realized at all that he was sharing some of his with me. How could I be that out of it? "Man, that whole giant chasm is empty. Why haven't you told anyone?" The heat of Naruto's hand started to spread across my hip and I took a step back-</p><p>-into Ino who had her hands hovering over me with her green light. "What are you doing?"</p><p>"Nothing!" She diminished her glow and lowered her hand.</p><p>"How long have you been doing that?"</p><p>Naruto laughed as he pushed himself up. "Sakura-chan, you might be more stubborn than any of us."</p><p>"As if!" I realized that Sasuke-kun was looking at me, but he quickly averted his gaze when my eyes landed on him.</p><p>Naruto climbed back onto the cot. I watched as Sasuke-kun shifted so that Naruto could snugly return to his previous position, arm around Sasuke-kun's neck. Sasuke turned ever so slightly so that he could face away from us, leaned into Naruto and sighed, like that meant Ino and I were dismissed from them.</p><p>"Why don't you lay down Sakura-chan? I'm sure Grandma Tsunade has got all that medical stuff taken care of." Naruto nudged his chin onto Sasuke-kun's shoulder, reminding me of a pet that lays on his owner's lap when his owner is sad, like the mere body warmth could heal a broken heart. Naruto could certainly do just that.</p><p>I suddenly didn't want to be here.</p><p>"I will," I said. "but I..." I stumbled over an excuse to leave. "I left something... somewhere..." I hurriedly left the tent.</p><p>Ino followed after me. "Sakura, I swear I'm going to hit you over the head if you don't stop right now!"</p><p>"I'm going to lay down!" I said exasperated. "Just not in there! I want some privacy from all that male testosterone!"</p><p>"Oh, alright." Ino lengthened her stride to keep up with me. "I could use a little rest as well. After watching that drama, who wouldn't? I don't care what they say, those whiny ass boys sure seem hella gay for each other."</p><p>I stopped abruptly. "So you... noticed it too?"</p><p>"Noticed what? I mean, I'm mostly joking Sakura. I know Naruto still <em>likes </em>you, likes you. He almost had his hand on your ass."</p><p>I shook my head. "No... I saw the two of them together..."</p><p>Ino bent her head to peer at me, but I wasn't looking her in the face. "What do you mean?"</p><p>"I saw... Naruto <em>kiss</em> Sasuke-kun. I mean, it wasn't on the lips or anything. It was right here," I placed my fingers to the spot on my own head. "Between the eyes. Maybe it doesn't mean anything, but- I don't know. Or maybe it's just Naruto, but Sasuke-kun would never let anyone<em> else</em> just <em>kiss</em> him like that."</p><p>"Sakura, not gonna lie, but that's kinda weird."</p><p>"Isn't it?" I turned to Ino.</p><p>"That's even an awkward place to kiss someone. Now the whole thing looks awkward. And like, why where they sharing the same cot? At first I thought it was to save space for other patients but there was only Kakashi-sensei in there." The both of us stared at the other, letting the facts sink in. "Oh my god..." Ino murmured.</p><p>I forced my dry mouth to swallow and turned away, continuing my walking. "It is what it is."</p><p>"But I thought for sure Naruto was your secret boyfriend or something!"</p><p>"Naruto was never my secret boyfriend, Ino! We had sex twice. It wasn't a big deal."</p><p>"WHAT!?" I had completely forgotten that I never told Ino this. I was so caught up with the new 'Naruto and Sasuke-kun love each other' secret that I forgot about the first one. "When!?"</p><p>"It... It was a long time ago."</p><p>"And you never told me?!"</p><p>"I'm sorry."</p><p>"No, Sakura." Ino grabbed my shoulder and force me to turn to her. "I'm beyond upset right now. You're not a virgin and I still am?! And you didn't even tell me! How could you? Oh my god," she repeated, letting go of me and twirling in pure angst. "This is <em>not </em>okay!" And then she let out a shrill frustrated shriek.</p><p>"Ino, I didn't know you'd be so upset-"</p><p>"I can't let you keep getting ahead of me, Forehead whore!" Now I thought that was slightly uncalled for. "I'm never gonna lose my virginity! Why don't men want to fuck <em>me</em>!?" Ino's shouting was alerting more than just a handful of other shinobi, and all of them happened to be male. I pushed her away in between a couple of tents for privacy.</p><p>"Ino, there's no need to rush. I regret my first time, and the second time. Mostly..."</p><p>Ino's eyes seethed as she suddenly declared, "I get Sasuke-kun."</p><p>"What!?"</p><p>"<em>You </em>had Naruto. <em>Twice</em> I must add! It's only fair that I get to have Sasuke-kun."</p><p>I glared back at Ino. "Well good luck with <em>that,</em> Ino Pig because Sasuke-kun is <em>gay!</em>"</p><p>"So is apparently Naruto, but you still got to shag 'im! There's still a chance! Maybe the both of them could be bi!"</p><p>"I'm finding that highly doubtful since Sasuke-kun hasn't shown an interest in any of us or female ever!"</p><p>"He hasn't shown much interest in the male population either, so that doesn't prove shit! He let Naruto give him an awkward face kiss, so what!? He also punched Naruto across the ground!"</p><p>"But then you saw how quickly he forgave him after that! He went right back to snuggling up to him like they only had a short lover's spat!"</p><p>Ino paused for a second. "Sasuke-kun didn't leave the village because he had a lover's spat with Naruto, did he?"</p><p>"<em>No! </em>but-I don't <em>think</em> that was the reason, or it wasn't the <em>main </em>reason if it was-"</p><p>"This is so unfair!" Ino wailed.</p><p>"Maybe it is fair," I said in a lower voice. "This way neither of us get to have Sasuke-kun."</p><p>Ino's eyes hardened. "But I liked Sasuke-kun <em>first!</em>"</p><p>I rolled my eyes. " I thought you were over him anyway."</p><p>"A girl never gets over her first love." Truth. "I'm so mad! I'm gonna beat Naruto black and blue! This is all his fault!"</p><p>I looked sullenly onto the ground. Beating Naruto black and blue wasn't going to solve the problem. It never solved mine.</p><p>"We'll just have to take our revenge," Ino suddenly stated.</p><p>I looked up confused. "How?"</p>
<hr/><p>We were shortly marching back to Tsunade-sama's tent. "I mean, I knew you had no chance with Sasuke-kun from the start, but Forehead, I can't believe Naruto chose that asshole over you!"</p><p>Ino was practically dragging me along, her grip tight on my hand.</p><p>"You even let him have his way with you <em>twice, </em>and then he leaves you for some traitorous rude ass motherfucker..." I wasn't really sure which part Ino was upset with more, or if she was just mad at the entire situation. "Yo, idiots!" she shouted when the tent came into view.</p><p>"Wait Ino, Kakashi-sensei's probably still in there and-"</p><p>"Eh, he's most likely asleep. Who cares?"</p><p>I cared. It was quite known that Kakashi-sensei was somewhat of a perv when it came to certain reading material. I fortunately never felt uncomfortable around him as he had always seen me as more of a child than a young woman, and I didn't want his image of that to change.</p><p>Ino flung open the tent flaps. If Naruto or Sasuke-kun had been asleep they were awake now. "I need to inform the two of you blockheads on some important information." She shoved me closer, as if presenting a knew slave. "If either of you had ever had the hots for Sakura, it's too late now. She's my girlfriend."</p><p>Naruto scrunched up his face, confused. Sasuke only raised an eyebrow. "Whadda talking about?" Naruto voiced.</p><p>"What am I talking about?!" Ino exclaimed dramatically. "I'm talking about how Sakura and I are now romantically involved!" I could feel my cheeks burning up with embarrassment. This was somehow different than all the other times Ino and I pretended to be a couple. I think it was because this time Sasuke-kun was here. "We're lesbians, and we have hot, sweaty lesbian sex with each other!"</p><p>"No way!" Naruto cried out, sounding very much like he believed her.</p><p>"<em>Yes</em> way!"</p><p>"Prove it then!" Naruto grinned, thinking he had us in our plot. Ino wasn't going to let him win though.</p><p>She grabbed my head and planted a very wet kiss on my mouth. I was a little shell shocked because this hadn't been part of the plan. We were simply going to act like we were together, much like Naruto and Sasuke-kun had been acting. Naruto and Sasuke-kun had never kissed each other on the mouth in front of anyone. At least not on purpose. Ino pinched me, pulling back to give me a short glare.</p><p>"Don't leave me hanging, love," she muttered.</p><p>Right. I dug my fingers into her long hair and gave her a sloppy kiss back, the kind that Naruto would have just melted for. I saw Ino's eyes go sideways to try to catch a reaction from the boys and I went for a sneak peak too.</p><p>Sasuke showed nothing on his face. But he also didn't seem to appear to be able to tear his gaze away.</p><p>Naruto actually whimpered. He even let go of Sasuke-kun to use his hand to cover his mouth and nose, blue eyes wide in astonishment as he drank the sight of us in.</p><p>I gave Ino's breasts an experimental squeeze. I felt Ino eyebrows draw together as she took that as a challenge. She grabbed my rear, bringing our hips together to grind against. I gave a surprised cry, trying not to fall over.</p><p>Who did fall was Naruto, off the cot and onto his knees, hand still firmly clamped over his nose. With a moan he bent over, face pressed into the ground.</p><p>The reaction got Sasuke-kun to unglue his eyes from us and give Naruto a swift kick.</p><p>Ino pulled back, the both of us gasping. "Now, now, Sakura Love," she said breathlessly, "we can't do that here. There are perverts watching."</p><p>At the mentioning of 'perverts watching' my gaze wandered over to the corner where Kakashi-sensei was supposedly sleeping. To my horror, both his eyes were wide open and gaping at the two of us.</p>
<hr/><p>"Kakashi-sensei, I feel like I should apologize." I found him up and walking after a few hours. Ino and I had taken a nap, far away from the men of my team.</p><p>"For what?" he asked.</p><p>"For... nothing?" I said suddenly unsure. Surely Kakashi-sensei couldn't have forgotten that he had seen Ino and I making out in front of Sasuke-kun and Naruto.</p><p>"That's right. For nothing," Kakashi-sensei said rather quickly. "And if for any reason, you feel you need to talk about... about things like, nothing, you best do it with someone like Tsunade-sama, or your mother, or a friend, but never, ever me. Understood?"</p><p>"Understood, Sensei."</p><p>"It's fine being a young woman with needs, or whatever, but it must be completely separate from me."</p><p>"Got it."</p><p>"Okay. Well good. Uh, bye." He quickly left to get away from me.</p><p>"Shit," I cursed under my breath. I spun around to the sound of Naruto laughing at me.</p><p>"Gee, Sakura-chan, I've never seen Kakashi-sensei like that! You must have given him some boner!"</p><p>My face turned red. "This is terrible!"</p><p>Naruto sighed. "Ah, it's not that bad."</p><p>"<em>I'm </em>supposed to be the easy student! He has enough going on dealing with the two of you!"</p><p>Naruto "pft" at 'easy student'. "I'd say. Well now Kakashi-sensei can relieve some of the stress he gets from Sasuke's bullshit with some new material. 'Make Out Lesbian Paradise'!"</p><p>"Please... never speak again," I said in between clenched teeth.</p><p>"Hey," Naruto continued anyway. "I'm all for your choices and support your new relationship. In fact, I hope it lasts for a long time, especially in places where I can see it play out. And if you're ever looking to spice things up with maybe a guy..."</p><p>I gave Naruto a flat glare. "Where's Sasuke-kun?" I asked, noticing he wasn't attached to Naruto and happy to find a way to change the subject.</p><p>"He went to take a dump and didn't want me to watch." Naruto shrugged.</p><p>"I'm glad you guys are setting some boundaries," I said sarcastically.</p><p>"Yeah, I'm trying to get him to get over that." My eyebrow twitched, wondering if Naruto was being serious. "So why have you been avoiding us?" Naruto suddenly said and I was taken by surprise.</p><p>"I'm not."</p><p>"Was kissing Ino supposed to get Sasuke jealous or something?" I knew it was obvious. I just always hoped Naruto would be dumber than he was.</p><p>"What does it matter? It didn't work."</p><p>"I wouldn't say that. It worked on me," he said somewhat suggestively.</p><p>"Obviously." I didn't want it to work on Naruto. I wanted it to work on Sasuke-kun.</p><p>"And who knows what's going on in that bastard's head. He's never shown a reaction to any sort of arousal."</p><p>"Well, I wouldn't want to take him away from you anyway," I replied snappily, and left, leaving Naruto stunned where he stood.</p>
<hr/><p>Ino seemed to find the make out session a success. If it proved anything, it proved that Naruto was basically crying with need, and therefore was of course still attracted to women and me. And if Naruto was attracted to me, Ino figured she could somehow get the two of us together and have Sasuke-kun all to herself.</p><p>I thought maybe the stress of the war, and the death of her father had made Ino turn suddenly insane.</p><p>Sasuke-kun appeared to be completely unaffected. He showed no embarrassment when I came to give his regular check ups, though he was still in that depressive slump he had been since I found the two by the ruined waterfall. He hardly spoke, and when he did it was to snap at either Naruto or me. Mostly at Naruto. He had only spoken to me twice now. Once to tell me he wasn't hungry when I tried to feed him, and another to tell me quite plainly that he did <em>not </em>need help washing himself when I brought him a rag and some warm water.</p><p>Naruto watched all of our reactions with wide eyes.</p><p>On the last night before we were to arrive at Konoha, I was woken to a strangled scream. I untangled myself from my blankets, kunai already in my hand, ready for a fight. I hadn't realized the sound had come from Sasuke-kun. I wasn't accustomed to hearing him make noise at all.</p><p>He was hunched over, each breath a tiny cry, sweat bleeding through his shirt. "Sasuke-kun!" I called out in a hasty whisper. I had woken up first, but Naruto was of course closer and was able to reach Sasuke-kun's side quicker.</p><p>He put his arm on Sasuke's back who immediately shoved it off. "Get away from me," he moaned.</p><p>"The hell, bastard!" Naruto growled, flinging himself right back on top of him. I had the thought that maybe if I had been more assertive than Naruto, Sasuke-kun would be mine rather than his.</p><p>Sasuke-kun began to breathe so fast he started coughing. I hesitantly laid a hand on his tense shoulder, but his coughing only seemed to get worse. After several moments of him hacking, I was afraid he would either choke himself, or tear his lungs. Using my chakra I located what was lodged and gave a swift and precise pound on his back. He coughed it up.</p><p>But then he vomited.</p><p>"Oh, man, Sasuke," Naruto murmured, gathering up his hair with his one hand and holding it out of the way as Sasuke-kun vomited again. I was afraid that I had caused him to throw up from my punch, but I knew that wasn't the reason as I inspected his body more. He was having a panic attack, the brain activity in chaos. I didn't know much about PTSD or any other brain condition. I could feel it, the brain waves moving under my chakra induced hand, but could do nothing to help. Instead I took to rubbing his back with my other hand.</p><p>Sasuke-kun finished vomiting, his face still pointed downward as he gasped in shallow breaths. Naruto wiped his face with the blanket. "Some nightmare..."</p><p>"It's fine."</p><p>"Sasuke-kun," I said. That-"</p><p>"It's fine," he interrupted me. "They happen all the time. It's not a big deal."</p><p>"All the time? I've never heard you... <em>scream</em> like that..."</p><p>Sasuke turned his head slowly to me, his black and purple eyes glinting animalistic. "That's the first time I've fallen asleep around you."</p><p>"You haven't been sleeping? Like at all?"</p><p>Sasuke-kun laid back down, turning away from me to Naruto instead, set on ignoring me.</p><p>I turned my gaze to Naruto in question.</p><p>Naruto only shrugged. "I didn't know. It would explain why I'm not getting him better as fast as I normally could."</p><p>"There's always so many people around," Sasuke-kun muttered.</p><p>"Well be back in Konoha tomorrow," I said hopefully.</p><p>"I can't wait," he said sarcastically. I hadn't really been thinking about what would happened once Sasuke-kun returned to the village. I saw Naruto's arm move protectively over Sasuke-kun, his face stern as he had the thought too. A small breath left my lungs. Technically, Sasuke was supposed to be put to death. My heart started to beat so rapidly that I feared that I was going to faint. I took a longer, deeper gulp of air.</p><p>Executing Sasuke-kun didn't seem to be Tsunade-sama's intention. If it was she would have told me quite plainly what was to happen and not just avoid the subject. And arriving back she was resigning. Kakashi-sensei would take over. He would think of something. Kakashie-sensei had been ready to eliminate Sasuke-kun before, but he had seen first hand what Sasuke-kun had done for us in the war.</p><p>Yet he also knew what Sasuke-kun had done <em>after</em> the war. The battle him and Naruto had was being kept secret from everyone else. Kakashi hadn't seen it. All we had was Naruto's side of the story, but it still made me nervous.</p><p>"Sakura-chan," Naruto murmured, breaking me out of my internal panic. I looked up at him and he gave me a warm reassuring smile. Naruto would fix it. He always did.</p><p>I bit my lip and gave a quick, frustrated glance to Sasuke-kun. "I have sleeping pills. You won't dream with them." Sasuke-kun didn't answer. I crawled over to my stuff to get them anyway, grabbing my canister of water. "You're gonna have to sit up to take them." When Sasuke-kun didn't get up, Naruto dragged him upright instead. After somewhat forcefully making Sasuke take the pills, he ripped away from me violently, laying on his stomach and pressing his face to his sleeping mat so he wouldn't have to see either of us. There wasn't much room, but I laid down with him and Naruto on the tiny bed. If Sasuke-kun was annoyed, he didn't say or do anything about it, but that may have only been because he was finally asleep.</p>
<hr/><p>Sasuke-kun was sent to prison. I worried that he wasn't being taken care of well. He was still healing from losing his arm, and I knew that the prison guards weren't trained in any sort of medical skill. I worried that he wouldn't get enough food, because he was restrained in a way that he couldn't feed himself, and he would never let anyone feed him. I worried mostly because Naruto was no longer with him, and he was alone with his own dark thoughts.</p><p>Naruto and I visited him daily, but not for very long as the guards wouldn't have us there longer than ten minutes at a time. It pissed off Naruto to no end, but it was better than not seeing him at all which was what was stated on our first attempt. Naruto went straight to Kakashi after that, and we were never denied entry again, but he still took to glaring at the guards every time.</p><p>Naruto never went to see Sasuke-kun without me. I never went without Naruto. It was like some sort of unspoken agreement. I knew anyway, seeing Sasuke-kun bound, wrapped in a straight jacket and a seal over his eyes, I couldn't stomach it without Naruto. Naruto pressed my face hard into his chest or shoulder to help muffle the sobs every time I saw Sasuke-kun, so Sasuke couldn't hear it. I knew he most likely heard it anyway.</p><p>"Hey bastard, why'd you got to be so far away?" Naruto asked in a hoarse whisper. Sasuke sat on a bench in his cell, four to five feet away from the bars. I could tell Naruto wanted to reach out to him, but Sasuke wouldn't move closer. He would have had to crawl to do so, and Sasuke-kun would never crawl. So Naruto's arm stay clamped around me instead.</p><p>Naruto told him about what he was up. He had been busy trying to study for the chunin exams, because embarrassingly he was still a genin. Sasuke-kun never spoke at all anymore, but his head twitched at certain things Naruto said. I began to read his body language the way Naruto could. He was pleased that Naruto was still a genin, because technically, so was Sasuke-kun.</p><p>I of course couldn't say anything to him. I didn't know what I could. But I knew he knew I was there. Even if Naruto hadn't announced that the both of us had come to see him, it was impossible for Sasuke-kun to not have noticed my sniffling.</p><p>Naruto and I didn't hang out much anymore. We only saw each other when we had our daily visits with Sasuke-kun. Naruto had become very busy. When he wasn't studying (which took him twice as long than anyone else in the world) he was with Kakashi-sama, working on Sasuke-kun's case.</p><p>I also noticed Naruto spending a great amount of time with Hinata. It started at the funeral. Naruto stood next to Hinata the whole time, in front of Neji's headstone. Naruto stared at the stone in misery for a great while, but half way through the service I noticed his gloomy face turn to Hinata's silent crying head. He hesitantly raised his hand and placed it on her shoulder.</p><p>I saw Hinata pressed her lips together before leaning into the great warmth I knew Naruto's body always offered. I watched as she suddenly turned into his chest, letting out a sob and Naruto clutched her tightly.</p><p>I took to staying away from them, feeling they needed their space. I didn't know what Naruto felt for Hinata, but it was clear that he wasn't going to abandoned anyone that needed anything. I stuck close to Ino. I realized that it didn't matter if I had nothing to say to her about her father. I didn't have to say anything, and if I did, it would only make Ino cry harder. She decided to used me as a tissue and that was enough from me.</p><p>I was starting to miss Naruto's presence a great deal. Alone, I'd over think things and remember short flashes of the war. I could still feel what Naruto's heart felt like in my hand when the Nine Tail's had been ripped out of him. I could still feel the way his chapped lips of his dead mouth felt on mine when I gave him CPR. Sometimes I would find myself wanting to go over to him, place a hand on his crazy bright blond hair just to insure myself that he was alive and the same as he had always been, but I didn't want to interrupt the important things he was constantly doing now.</p><p>The winter made emotional wounds seem to heal so much slower. I continued learning under Tsunade-sama, who had much more time now that she had retied from Hokage. I even got to learn about cell cloning and helped some in creating a new arm for Naruto. I soaked up all the information. I knew Sasuke-kun wouldn't be allowed to have such a procedure, but if somehow, Naruto was able to get him out of execution and maybe even out of prison, I could make him one.</p><p>It was a silly hopeful dream, but studying about it took my mind off of things. I was in the midst of reading a scroll at the kitchen table when I noticed snow flurries outside the window. I took time to watch them, thinking about Sasuke-kun. Even if I somehow was able to create an arm all by myself, I wasn't sure if Sasuke-kun would accept such a gift from the likes of me. Maybe if I got Naruto to offer, he'd accept it. Such ideas no longer upset me. In fact, I was thinking myself rather clever outsmarting the Uchiha by using Naruto.</p><p>"Sakura dear," My father sat beside me at the table with a mug of coffee in his hand.</p><p>"Dad," I said back, bracing myself for one of his terrible jokes.</p><p>"How are you?" he asked instead.</p><p>Taken aback, I replied, "Fine," awkwardly.</p><p>He patted my back. "I know your mother and I don't say it often, but we're very proud of you. I want to make sure you know that. What you did... during the war... That was some... truly amazing stuff. You know that, right?"</p><p>"Dad," I bit my lip turning to him, a sudden gratefulness that both my parents were safe in sound. "I love you," I said, wrapping my arms around him. "I'm sorry I don't say that to you and mom as often as I should."</p><p>"Sakura," he squeezed my shoulder and raised his mug. "Words cannot <em>espresso</em> how much you mean to us."</p><p>"Oh dad, shut up."</p>
<hr/><p>"So I got something to tell you," Naruto grinned a thousand suns in my direction as he met me at my parents house to walk to our daily Sasuke-kun visit.</p><p>"If this is about Kakashi-sama's porn stash in the Hokage's office again-"</p><p>"No it's not, but yeah, that's still in fucking plain view, right next to all the diplomatic scrolls and no one is saying anything about it." Naruto huffed, raising his arm. "What I was gonna say though, is that Sasuke's getting out of prison next month."</p><p>I dropped the boot that I had been busy putting on. "What?"</p><p>"Yep!" Naruto beamed. "Kakashi-sensei sure has a way with words. I thought the fucking emissary was gonna drop to his knees and suck his dick right then and there."</p><p>"He's not... going to be executed?"</p><p>"Psh, <em>what?</em> What gave you that idea, Sakura-chan?! Kakashi is sure as hell not gonna let his comrades get <em>executed!</em> What kind of person do you think he is? Sasuke-ku was never gonna get executed. Getting him out of prison though, whoo, was that a hard one!"</p><p>I stood up quickly, not sure what to do with myself or this alarming amount of emotion. In the back of my mind, I didn't think I ever really believed that everything would turn out alright. Not really.</p><p>"Politics are so stupid. And Kakashi-sensei is all like 'You're going to have to learn all this if you want to be Hokage someday' bullshit. When <em>I'm</em> Hokage, meetings are gonna be way shorter, because that's just torture."</p><p>"Naruto... I... thank you." He stopped his rant to look at me, noticing I was on the verge of tears. "You got him... You got him back. Just like you said you would."</p><p>"Of course I did. I never go back on my word-" I flung my arms around him. Naruto gripped me tightly back with his one arm. I was still getting use to Naruto's one armed hugs. They didn't feel as complete, but Naruto still squeezed me with all that he was worth. He swayed us a bit, his head nuzzling against mine.</p><p>I took a step back after a moment. Naruto's face was still leaned toward mine, and I realized that he was hoping for a kiss. I turned my face away, intent on ignoring it. I almost felt bad, as it reminded me that all these years, Naruto had been chasing after Sasuke-kun because I asked him to. Was he really still hoping that would win me over?</p><p>But I remembered Naruto kissing Sasuke and the many times he told me he was gonna go meet Hinata for some dumb reason or other. He seemed to still seek attention from other people rather than just me, so I felt better. I didn't know what was going through Naruto's head most of the time. Perhaps he was just as oblivious of his own actions.</p><p>"Let's go tell Sasuke-kun the good news."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I think the only reason why I write this was so I could write this part. Lol!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Kakashi-sensei wants to celebrate, just the original Team Seven. He's taking us all on a vacation and he's paying for all the expenses."</p><p>I gave Naruto a long look. Kakashi-sensei had mentioned on the team getting together one last time. He had said 'one last time', like he didn't think he could get Sasuke-kun to ever spend time with all of us again. At the moment, Sasuke-kun should have been feeling his equivalent to gratitude for our former teacher. With all the work the new Hokage did to get him out of prison, spending some time with all of us was the least he could do. I knew of the idea, but when Kakashi-sensei had mentioned it to Naruto and I earlier it sounded like a quiet get together at most likely, Kakashi-sensei's house, where we would eat dinner while the three of us tried not to cry and embarrass Sasuke-kun too much, but in the process doing it a lot. Nothing had made it seem like we were <em>going</em> anywhere that could be called a 'vacation'. And Kakashi-sensei never agreed to pay for anything.</p><p>But as the week carried on, Naruto supplied me more and more details of the plan, assumingly gathering them from Kakashi-sensei. The Hokage didn't get many days off, but apparently, if so and so was able to do such and such by this day, then Kakashi-sensei would be able to finish this and that and keep the weekend free.</p><p>It was decided that we were to stay at an osen in a neighboring village rather than in Konoha because not many of the residents were told that Uchiha Sasuke was to be taken out of prison yet. With less people to recognize Sasuke-kun's face, it would be less drama following us around. I had mentioned that Naruto's face was quite recognizable to everyone, no matter what village we went to, and how on earth was he able to convince Kakashi-sensei, that this was a good idea when it would have been much easier just to have a small celebration at someone's house? Even if Kakashi-sensei didn't want to open his living quarters to us, Naruto's apartment wasn't so nearly as bad than it had been when he was a kid.</p><p>Naruto<em> had</em> given me an answer, but it was a very long winded complicated one that I had trouble following and lost interest in quickly. There did seem to be a lot of black mail on Naruto's part too, but that was all I really got out of it.</p><p>As the days were going on, it seemed so and so wasn't doing his thing fast enough and Kakashi-sensei was thinking he might have to cancel. Naruto begged and begged and after promising to do a bunch of extra shit for Kakashi-sensei, such as clean his house, bathe his dogs and buy a bunch of questionable items, Kakashi-sensei said that he would make it, but to leave without him and he'd meet us at a restaurant between seven and seven thirty the evening of. He was going to need some time to ditch his ANBU bodyguards. My opinion on the matter was ignored.</p><p>It was a three day trip to this village which was known for its tourist attractions. For a shinobi though, the trip could easy been made within twelve hours. Naruto met me at my parents' house before we were to go find Sasuke-kun.</p><p>I hadn't yet seen Sasuke-kun since he was released from prison. He was currently staying at a government owned house until he could decide on what he wanted to do with himself. Money wasn't a problem. Sasuke-kun always had money, untouched for years in a bank. It was just a matter of what Sasuke would do with it.</p><p>Naruto had seen him already. More than once actually. I didn't know what they had done together. Apparently, somehow, Naruto had convinced Sasuke-kun to come along with us. That was all I knew. As doubtful as that sounded as much as Kakashi-sensei willing to pay for our osen, I didn't know anymore. If anyone could convince Sasuke-kun into doing anything, it was Naruto.</p><p>"So like, Sasuke has like <em>no </em>clothes." Naruto laughed. "I tried to take him shopping but he didn't want to go. I mean, I can kind of understand if he wants to stay low, keep out of sight, but he wouldn't even tell me his measurements so I could buy him some, because he didn't trust me to get him clothes that weren't orange or something. Dude, orange is <em>my </em>color! Hell I'm gonna let the bastard steal my fashion sense. But maybe he is, because he's literally wearing my clothes right now. Like, I don't get it. He threw away that shirt and those pants he was wearing when we got here, which was understandable. They were falling apart."</p><p>I found myself unable to respond. I really wished Naruto would just shut up. I felt uncomfortable with the thought of Sasuke-kun wearing Naruto's clothes. Or naked.</p><p>"So we should try to find him something else to wear while we are at a the osen. Maybe they have a shop or something for like tourist merchandise. They got to have something that even he's willing to wear. I need my clothes. I don't have time to do laundry that often."</p><p>As we got closer to the government housing, I was getting increasingly more and more nervous. Naruto was of course still talking.</p><p>"These houses are kinda plain, but Sasuke didn't want to live with me, even though I offered, like a million times. At least I got furniture, ya know? I think this is the right house."</p><p>Oh no, we were here already? I felt myself start to sweat even though I was trying so hard to keep cool. I had even left my light jacket unzipped in the cool weather. Naruto had commented on it when he first saw me, but I had planned on zipping it back up before I saw Sasuke-kun. Of course now I felt as over heated as ever.</p><p>Naruto rammed loudly on the door. "He doesn't have a doorbell," he explained to me. "YO BASTARD! OPEN UP!" Naruto knocked on the door for three minutes straight, yelling the whole time until he was answered with heavy stomps from the other side of the door.</p><p>The door wrenched open. "I told you not to come here!" Sasuke-kun spat. His hair seemed thicker and wilder than I remembered it, but I hadn't seen Sasuke-kun in daylight in months so maybe it always had been like that. The T-shirt he wore was Naruto's and white, yet Sasuke-kun's skin was whiter, making the old shirt look more grey. The stretched out collar fell over one shoulder. I lost the nerve to look him in the face, so my eyes stayed on the thin material of the shirt, and the way it laid on the curve of his shoulder and bicep of the arm holding the door. It was sort of amusing to see Sasuke-kun in orange pants, and painful to notice the bandage peaking from underneath the sleeve of his missing arm. I was avoiding Sasuke-kun's face but I felt his eyes flash over me like a flickering firelight. His posture straightened. "Sakura." I wasn't sure if that was a greeting or him just reminding himself what my name was. I always took it as a greeting.</p><p>"Hello Sasuke-kun," I murmured shyly.</p><p>"Dude, you don't look ready at all! It's still cold outside. You're gonna need at least a jacket or something."</p><p>Sasuke-kun steeled his glare over to Naruto. "I told you that I wasn't going."</p><p>"But then you said you'd do it for Sakura-chan!" I looked at Naruto shocked. I didn't know that was the reason Sasuke-kun had agreed to go out with us!</p><p>"I did <em>not</em> say that," Sasuke-kun growled, killing the fleeting hope.</p><p>Naruto pushed himself into the building without being invited. "But I know that's why you let yourself think about it..."</p><p>Sasuke-kun clenched his teeth as he glared at the back of Naruto's head. "Go away."</p><p>"Kakashi-sensei's the Hokage now and you have to go if Kakashi-sensei sez so."</p><p>Sasuke-kun looked at me who was still hesitant about entering the building, then back to Naruto. "Then where is he?"</p><p>"He said he'd meet us there."</p><p>Sasuke-kun scoffed. He went deeper into the house, leaving the door open, so I accepted the unspoken invitation.</p><p>"I'm definitely not going if he's not even here to carry out his own 'orders'." I watched Sasuke-kun's back as he walked, noticing the way his shoulders swayed at the movement. I had <em>never </em>noticed that before. It had been so long since I had watched him just simply walk. He was either in battle or in such a weaken state that his movements had never been <em>casual </em>before. Sasuke-kun was so very handsome. I was feeling sort of light headed. Why?! What was wrong with me?</p><p>"But <em>Sasuke</em>!" Naruto whined. "You're telling me that you made Sakura-chan wake up at six o'clock in the morning, and come all the way over here for nothing?!" I normally woke up at six o'clock in the morning. Sasuke-kun made a face that said that was none of his problem anyway. "Besides, I need you."</p><p>Sasuke-kun rested his one hand on his hip, weight against the plain wall and eyebrows raised in a questioning, you better prove that, kinda way. I wondered if that was Sasuke-kun's way of flirting back, because afterwards Naruto started staring at Sasuke-kun with a silly grin that did not go away. I watched them be silent with one another for what seemed like forever.</p><p>"It's a mission," Naruto said slowly after a long moment. "The last mission. The last time we'll ever have a chance to see what's underneath Kakashi-sensei's mask."</p><p>Both Sasuke-kun and I stared at Naruto for another whole minute, the both of us suddenly being thrown back into the past and I don't think any of us remembered how old we were.</p><p>"How's that going to even work? We've already tried everything. You know Kakashi doesn't take off his mask in the bathhouse," Sasuke-kun said.</p><p>"And we can't ever seem to catch him when he eats either," I replied. "He's got that down to an art."</p><p>"I got a plan this time. It's gonna involve a lot of team work though. This is something that we could have never pulled off as naive kids. Come on Sasuke, you have to do it for old time sake, and then I'll never ask you to do anything ever again."</p><p>"You always say that," Sasuke-kun grumbled. Naruto ignored him and moved into a different room in the house. "Get out of my room!"</p><p>"I'll go look for something warmer for you to wear." Sasuke-kun scrunched his nose in Naruto's direction like he was thinking about going after him, but he suddenly remembered I was there and looked at me.</p><p>"Your hair is longer."</p><p>I blanked. It occurred to me that even though I had seen Sasuke-kun every day at the prison, he had yet to see me as his eyes had been sealed. Now his eyes were roaming all over me in a way that made me uncomfortable, like his elite vision could see every other thing I had neglected about my appearance.</p><p>I played with the end of a hair strand. It was past my shoulders now, how lazy of me. "I haven't gotten around to cut it."</p><p>"Where did this big black coat come from!?" I heard Naruto cry from the bedroom, and Sasuke-kun quickly turned to rescue the article of clothing.</p><p>Sasuke-kun kicked Naruto out of the room so he could change his clothes in peace. Naruto waited impatiently.</p><p>"What's this so called plan to see underneath Kakashi-sensei's mask?" I asked to Naruto.</p><p>Naruto answered in a low voice. "I just said that to get Sasuke to come. Seriously, Kakashi-sensei's always gonna be way smarter than us. I have no idea on how to get his mask off."</p>
<hr/><p>The trip was pleasant and uncomfortable at the same time. Naruto rattled on and Sasuke-kun voiced his annoyance to everything he said, like he was listening. It had been so long since I heard Sasuke-kun talk more than one sentence at a time. I had forgotten his speech pattern.</p><p>Sasuke-kun was happy. Or at least as happy as he ever was able to be. I knew he must be relieved that he was finally out of the dark, sightless prison. I watched him watch birds longer than he would have, or pause to inspect a leaf for no reason, just because he hadn't been able to see in such a long time.</p><p>Naruto and Sasuke-kun talked like I wasn't there as we leapt from tree to tree, but that was alright. It was almost just like old times and I didn't care.</p><p>"Stop staring at me," he snapped at Naruto. I had been staring at him just as much but Sasuke-kun didn't have anything to say about that.</p><p>"I just want to make sure you're not gonna trip and fall. I know they didn't let you move around too much at the prison."</p><p>"That didn't mean I lost all strength in my legs. Besides, I did sit ups to pass time and keep in shape."</p><p>"Whoa, they let you do that?"</p><p>"They weren't paying attention."</p><p>"That still doesn't mean your legs won't give out."</p><p>"I'm fine!"</p><p>Naruto paused in his next leap, waiting for me to catch up. "Sakura-chan, are you alright? You've been awfully quiet."</p><p>I smiled warmly at him. "Yes. I'm just happy." Naruto grinned back at me.</p><p>We stopped for lunch and ate bento boxes that I had packed. I was pleased that Sasuke-kun ate his in its entirety. I spent some time helping Naruto on a couple of examples that might be on the written part of his chunnin exam.</p><p>"If there are twelve enemy shinobi, one three meters at one o'clock, one five meters at three o'clock-"</p><p>"Wait hold on you're reading it too fast," Naruto said, frantically writing in his notepad.</p><p>"Dobe, this is the fifth time she's tried to read this question to you," Sasuke-kun cut in, most likely getting tired of listening to me say the same thing over and over. He was lazily slumped at a base of a tree. I was again noting how completely at ease he was around us. It was a truly satisfying thought.</p><p>"This is the most complicated question I've ever heard of!"</p><p>"This is the type of stuff that they taught at the academy. Are you sure this is even a chunnin exam question?"</p><p>"It's got like, all these different parts and-"</p><p>"The answer is: you throw the shuriken at a 42 degree angle with 3000N of force and a torque of 20 percent."</p><p>I gave Sasuke-kun a sideways glare. "It's not going to help him any if you give him the answer."</p><p>"Wait, what the fuck? You have to say the force too?"</p><p>"It's mass times acceleration."</p><p>"But dude, who the fuck thinks like that in a battle? I'm not going to just use my eyeballs and accurately measure to the inch where everyone else is and then set my settings to 3000N like I'm some kind of robot. If they're are twelve guys, I'm just gonna make twelve shadow clones."</p><p>"You can't make up your own answers. That question is multiple choice," Sasuke-kun answered dismissively.</p><p>"How do you even know!?"</p><p>"Because it's the exact same question we had in the academy!"</p><p>"How can you even<em> remember</em> anything that happened at the academy?! That was <em>so</em> long ago!"</p><p>"How can you forget everything?!"</p><p>"Guys!" I interrupted. The bickering was fine when I wasn't involved, but I was trying to do the difficult task of teaching Naruto anything that resembled math. "It is important because even if you can throw a shurken accurately without doing any math in your head, what if you could see the enemy and your comrade could not? Then you'd have to give him instructions."</p><p>"Whoa, I never thought of that," Naruto mused. "But still, I'd just use my shadow clones-"</p><p>"And math forces you too do critical thinking, and critical thinking helps exercise your brain," I continued, bopping Naruto on the head with a pen.</p><p>Naruto gave a groan. "Then Sasuke should be studying, since his brain's dumb and he's still a genin too."</p><p>"At least I can do math!" he shouted back.</p><p>"Good lord," I muttered as the arguing continued. I let Naruto give up on studying, and even let myself laugh at some of the ridiculous things the boys found themselves fighting over, like Sasuke-kun getting mad that Naruto had noticed he ate everything in his bento box.</p><p>Once we entered the town, the mood between all three of us changed. Naruto immediately stopped teasing Sasuke-kun about everything he did, and Sasuke-kun stopped snapping. Silent Sasuke-kun was a nervous Sasuke-kun.</p><p>Naruto walked next to Sasuke-kun's side, hand stuffed in his pocket as he looked to his left, eyes grilling and analyzing every person we past. He'd bump his right shoulder with Sasuke-kun's whenever a particularly angry looking person was finally out of sight, as if to shake Sasuke-kun out of an invisible panic.</p><p>I stayed on Sasuke-kun's right, doing the same, fists clenched at my sides. Sasuke-kun was safe in between us, because if anyone tried to start shit, there would have been some kind of hell to pay.</p><p>After a few hours of it being dark, Sasuke-kun spoke up, "You have no idea where we are going, do you, Naruto?"</p><p>"What? I got the name of the restaurant written on my hand! See?" Naruto pulled his hand out of his pocket to show to Sasuke-kun.</p><p>"I can't even read that."</p><p>"Oh really? I was hoping you could because I can't either." He laughed. "You have 'special eyes', so you know."</p><p>"So we're lost?!"</p><p>"We're not lost," Naruto said.</p><p>I peered at the both of them. "Let's just ask someone for directions. What was the name of the restaurant?"</p><p>"It was either Koharu something... or maybe Soyokaze...</p><p>"Those don't sound anything alike," I commented exasperated.</p><p>"I'm sure once I see it, I'll remember," Naruto said not at all worried. "Or maybe Kakashi-sensei will find us first."</p><p>"I have a feeling Kakashi-sensei is going to be way later than he said. And I'm starting to get hungry again," I complained.</p><p>"Okay, okay just a few more blocks and I'm sure it's around there somewhere."</p><p>A few more blocks, Naruto led us directly into a red light district. This did not improve my mood which was growing fowler with ever second of my grumbling stomach. I tried to ignore the cat calls.</p><p>"Whoa, there's a lot of women over here," Naruto said completely oblivious. It really was a wonder. With all the years Naruto spent with Jiriaya-sama you'd think he would recognize what a red district looked like. Unless of course he was only playing dumb, which was something Naruto did far more often than I realized. "I think they're looking at me."</p><p>"Don't look back," Sasuke-kun said between clenched teeth. "They'll take it as an agreement."</p><p>Naruto was already waving at one of them.</p><p>"What's your name cutie?"</p><p>"It's Uz-"</p><p>"What the hell are you doing!?" Sasuke-kun grabbed him by the shoulder and squeezed him roughly, pushing him ahead of us.</p><p>I noticed another one of the scantily clad women eyeing Sasuke-kun. "My my, beautiful. I'd love it if you'd <em>hurt </em>me like that."</p><p>I glared at her, pink faced. "Forget about it because he's already taken!" by Naruto of course.</p><p>Sasuke-kun gave me a bewildered look and I realized that embarrassingly it must have looked like I was talking about him and I being together.</p><p>"Naruto, I'm starting to run out of patience-"</p><p>"No, no, no it's right here!" Naruto said quickly, leading us to a sketchy looking dump of a building.</p><p>"There is no way that this is the restaurant. I don't even think this<em> is</em> a restaurant."</p><p>"Well, even if it's not <em>exactly </em>the place Kakashi-sensei said, Sakura-chan's hungry." Inside the seedy building, green and blue lights flashed with the base of some music. "We'll just grab a quick bite to eat and then figure out what to do."</p><p>I felt immediately out of place as soon as I stepped through the entryway. Part of the reason of this was because Sasuke-kun had disappeared from in between us.</p><p>Refusing to enter the building Sasuke-kun said, "I'll stay out here. You just get her something to eat."</p><p>"<em>Sasuke!</em> Come <em>on!</em> You can't stay out here. The whores are gonna rape you." Naruto grabbed Sasuke-kun's hand and dragged him inside.</p><p>We were seated at a booth to my surprise, since I wasn't expecting any tables. It was loud and dark with lots of people. An open bar was a few paces away. I sat down first, Naruto quickly sliding next to me before staring at Sasuke-kun insistently. Eventually Sasuke-kun sat hesitantly down across from us. The host left us with menus.</p><p>"Order anything you want, Sakura-chan," Naruto said as he opened his menu. "It's all on Kakashi-sensei."</p><p>"How? He's not here. This isn't the right place. We should leave," Sasuke-kun complained, sitting rigidly in his seat. I scanned the items on the menu quickly. I was really hungry. Maybe I could just order something quick and then we could leave.</p><p>"Kakashi-sensei gave me this!" Naruto pulled out a credit card from his pocket.</p><p>I gaped at it. "No he didn't!"</p><p>"Did too, 'cause I have it in my hand."</p><p>"Let me see that!" I ripped the card out of Naruto's grasp. "This isn't his credit card. It doesn't even have his name on it."</p><p>"It has to be his! It's from his pocket." I gave Naruto a glare. "I mean I saw him take it out of his pocket before he gave it to me. Besides, it's probably a secret code name from when he was in the ANBU."</p><p>"He hasn't been in the ANBU close to 15 years."</p><p>"He doesn't use it that often! Jeez, obviously."</p><p>"Are you guys ready to order?" The waitress was already here. Dammit. I hadn't decided yet. I looked over to Sasuke-kun to see if he was ready. If I ordered last it would give me a little bit more extra time to decide. Sasuke-kun was leaning on his arm on the table, his fist clenched tightly and uncomfortably. He didn't appear to want anything. "Wait a second!" the waitress exclaimed.</p><p>Naruto had paused, mouth open, actually ready to order.</p><p>"You're not Uzumaki Naruto, are you?!"</p><p>The confused look on his face melted away with that smile of his. "As a matter of fact..."</p><p>I rolled my eyes. I would never get used to it. Sasuke-kun was glaring at Naruto like he found it just as annoying as I did.</p><p>"You totally saved my father's life during the war!"</p><p>"Well, I don't remember, but probably."</p><p>"Oh my! I have to go tell- Oh wait, your orders! Did you decide on drinks? Oh wait, you don't even have drink menus! Here, here!" She gave a stack of drink menus that she had been keeping under her arm to Naruto. "Are you going to need more time?"</p><p>"Yes," I answered. The waitress gave me a surprised look, eyes going back and forth from me to Naruto, obviously trying to figure out our relationship.</p><p>"Oh, okay, I'll be right back then."</p><p>Naruto spun to us like he had just found the cure for cancer. "They're not gonna card us! See?" He handed over the drink menus. Sasuke-kun wouldn't lift his arm to take his so Naruto just dropped it in front of him. "Hanging out with me has its perks."</p><p>"I doubt they'd card anyone here," Sasuke-kun said unimpressed, looking around the establishment in contempt.</p><p>"I don't care. Drinks are gonna be on me because I'm famous now."</p><p>"I don't know, Naruto. I don't want to stay here long." I glanced over at Sasuke-kun. His flat look that was directed at our more extroverted friend, also said he wanted to get the hell out of here.</p><p>"We <em>have</em> to! Sasuke, have you ever<em> seen</em> Sakura-chan drunk?" Sasuke-kun said nothing. Of course he hadn't. I had only been drunk once. "It's the greatest."</p><p>I slapped Naruto upside the head, afraid that his suggestive tone would reveal more details that I desperately did not want Sasuke-kun to ever know about.</p><p>"Ow! Well anyway, get this Sakura-chan," he pointed to a picture of a fancy pink cocktail. "It's sweet. You'll like it. I'm getting it for you. Sasuke, want do you want?"</p><p>"I'm not drinking <em>alcohol</em>."</p><p>"Since when have you been such a pussy and afraid of breaking the law?"</p><p>"I don't care about the law. Alcohol makes you stupid."</p><p>Naruto narrowed his eyes at Sasuke. "Then it shouldn't make a difference because you're already stupid!"</p><p>"You're the stupid one!"</p><p>"Guys!" I was ignored.</p><p>"But you<em> need</em> it Sasuke. You have the longest pull up your ass in the world! Just let me loosen it... just a little bit..."</p><p>Naruto and I stared at Sasuke-kun, waiting for a reaction. His body looked like it was too busy self destructing from anger, but right before he was about to scream at us, he bit back his tongue as the waitress returned.</p><p>"Are we all ready to order?"</p><p>"Water," Sasuke-kun growled out, still glaring at Naruto.</p><p>"Come on Sasuke, order a drink!"</p><p>The waitress playfully winked at Sasuke-kun. "Order a drink!" Sasuke-kun's eyes flashed red and purple dangerously in the waitress's direction and she took a step back in fright. "Water it is!"</p><p>"Sasuke-kun!" I hissed. "Put that away!"</p><p>Sasuke-kun turned his gaze to me, face unreadable, but his eye fell back to its natural black, while he let his hair fall over the Rinnegan. Naruto quickly ordered his drink and mine before asking if they served ramen. After the waitress promised to do her best, Naruto suddenly remembered that I was hungry. "What do you want Sakura-chan?" he asked. Not waiting for my answer he ordered a bunch of food for me anyway. I would have been more annoyed with it, if what he suggested didn't sound amazing. "Sasuke can share, since he's too much of a prick to get his own food."</p><p>I hadn't taken my eyes off Sasuke-kun because he had yet to tear his gaze from me after I had reprimanded him. I wasn't going to be the one to lose this staring contest. But with the mentioning of Sasuke-kun's name from Naruto, he turned his glare back to its usual spot on him.</p><p>After the waitress dashed away, I said to Sasuke-kun, "Don't show your sharingan, Sasuke-kun. If people know Naruto here, it's very possible they know who you are and you don't have nearly as many fans."</p><p>"I can handle it," Sasuke-kun said evenly.</p><p>"I'm not talking about the waitress. If her father fought in the war, then chances are she knows shinobi, and then we'll have a problem!"</p><p>Sasuke-kun's arm tightened. "Like I said, they can try it!"</p><p>"Yeah, no one's touching Sasuke," Naruto agreed. "Not if I can help it."</p><p>I glared at Naruto. "You're being a bad influence!"</p><p>"I guess she's kinda right though, Sasuke. We should try to avoid getting into a fight."</p><p>"Then let's leave!"</p><p>"But we already ordered the food!"</p><p>Sasuke-kun rolled his eyes.</p><p>We waited in an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes until our drinks arrived. Taking a sip of mine I found it was ridiculously tasty.</p><p>"Do you like it, Sakura-chan?"</p><p>"It's good," I admitted. Naruto took a sip from my straw and I let him since he was the one paying for it.</p><p>"It is good. I knew you'd like it. What about you Sasuke? Wanna try Sakura's girly drink?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Sasuke-kun doesn't like sweet things," I said idly as I played with the bright colored straw. I was pleased with myself that I remembered such things when it didn't seem Naruto had.</p><p>"Oh that's right. He likes to be miserable." I watched Naruto place the bottle of his beer to his mouth, his lips pressing around it like a kiss.</p><p>Whoa that was weird. It wasn't that I was thinking about kissing Naruto. Just with the low lighting, music and my drink, I was thinking it would be nice to kiss someone. My eyes landed briefly on Sasuke-kun. His smoldering scowl made me melt a little. The way his dark eyebrows twitched in his anxiety and the tips of his hair swayed with every movement was hypnotizing. It didn't matter what he was doing, the sharp color of his hair against his skin was breathtaking. Until one noticed how dark his one eye was. Then you couldn't pull away from that focal point. There was no color darker. I tried to flick my gaze down to his lips, but with his mouth pressed into a grim line and him noticing my staring, I turned away quickly, trying to look fascinated by a dumb poster that hung on the wall. I would probably never be able to kiss anyone again with my situation, me being the third wheel and all.</p><p>Oh except for Ino of course. I kind of missed her. She would certainly lively up everything if she were here now. Sasuke-kun was doing his best to bring the mood down on his side of the table.</p><p>I noticed our waitress was talking to a bunch of other waiters from across the room. She pointed in our direction and Naruto waved back at them with his easy smile. She practically swooned.</p><p>"Stop flirting with the staff," I said, giving him a shove. It was pissing Sasuke-kun off to no end.</p><p>"I'm not flirting, I'm just being friendly! Besides I don't even know how to flirt."</p><p>Both Sasuke-kun and I stared at him, before I bursted out into a dry laugh.</p><p>"Dobe, you flirt with everything that breathes," Sasuke-kun commented, pretending to be bored. I wondered if Naruto ever made Sasuke-kun jealous. He made me jealous and I didn't even want Naruto.</p><p>"What? No I don't. Dude, it's not my fault that right now, everyone likes me because I saved the world or something. It'll blow over. I piss people off too much, remember?"</p><p>"You piss Sakura off." Sasuke-kun said. I nodded my agreement. "And you piss me off."</p><p>"Yeah, that's what I'm <em>saying</em>," Naruto answered moodily. "The people that actually matter to me. Everyone else is just a groupie."</p><p>"Naruto," I laughed, surprised that he got glum so suddenly. "You have many friends besides just us."</p><p>"Kinda."</p><p>"Haven't you been spending a lot of time with Hinata?"</p><p>"Not really. I mean, I know things have been rough with her so I wanted to try to help her out, but I think... I don't know. She doesn't seem to like it when I'm around her. I couldn't keep Neji from dying. She probably blames me for it." Naruto took another drink.</p><p>"What? Naruto, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say and you're a moron! Hinata's in<em> love</em> with you."</p><p>Naruto let out a laugh that didn't sound right at all. I couldn't tell if it was because he didn't believe me, or didn't want to believe me. "Everyone's in love with me," he said, giving me a nudge. "Of course Hinata's too nice of a person to <em>say </em>that she blames me. She doesn't mean to, but it's just human nature. I blame Grandma Tsunade for Pervy Sage even though I know it's not her fault. I just can't help it."</p><p>"What happened to Jiraiya?" Sasuke-kun asked.</p><p>"He's dead," Naruto answered bluntly. He finished the rest of his beer and placed it on the table. He hardly had to lift his hand again before the waitress was already over asking if he wanted another one. "Sure!" He looked over at me. "Boy Sakura-chan, you sucked that down fast. Get her another one too."</p><p>"Naruto I don't-," but the waitress had already hurried off. "I didn't need a second drink," I finished.</p><p>"But you haven't even gotten your food yet, and you need a drink with your food."</p><p>When the first of the appetizers arrived I inhaled my portion like I hadn't eaten all day. Unfortunately, the sticky sauce the chicken was soaked in was somewhat spicy and I took to washing it down with my alcoholic drink. Naruto supplied an endless amount of refills.</p><p>"Where the fuck's Kakashi-sensei?!" Naruto exclaimed, standing up and looking around like he could spot him.</p><p>"He's not here because you decided to stop at the wrong place," Sasuke-kun explained. I don't really know why he was bothering.</p><p>"Well he's missing out," Naruto sat back down in his seat. "This food is actually really great, even if they don't exactly have ramen." The closest thing that this place had to ramen were french fries to Naruto's disappointment, but he had already eaten a dozen of them. "So I've been trying to read more," Naruto started. I knew exactly where he was going with this and rolled my eyes. "Since you know, Pervy Sage was a writer and I feel like I should be doing it for him."</p><p>That line was specifically for Sasuke-kun, as Naruto realized Sasuke-kun was less likely to say anything mean back to him if he started a sentence with 'Pervy Sage'. Sasuke-kun wasn't someone I had thought to be sensitive to other people's problems, but even he could tell that Naruto had taken that death hard. Unfortunately for Sasuke-kun, Naruto saw he recognized it and began to abuse the fact in order to talk about stupid things that would especially annoy Sasuke-kun.</p><p>"So I read the whole series, right?" Naruto continued. "And at first I thought it was gross, because you know, I started reading it before I really got it, but now I get it."</p><p>Sasuke-kun grunted because he must have thought he was obligated to pretend that he was listening. I frowned at Naruto. I knew what Jiraiya-sama's series was about.</p><p>"But then, some of the things I think still sound gross. I don't want to say they're gross because I haven't done it myself, so maybe it's amazing."</p><p>"Before you continue running your mouth, some of us our eating," I cut in before Naruto could go into detail.</p><p>"Like eating pussy," he said anyway. Sasuke-kun went still so fast that it almost looked like he jerked, but it was just him going so fixed so suddenly that the lack of breathing was unsettling. He kept his face incredibly straight. "Like what the fuck is that like? It might not be that bad. I don't know what it tastes like. It's wet in there so maybe it's just like saliva or kissing. Babies come out of there so it's got to be clean and shit. But then I think, pee also comes out of there..."</p><p>"Pee doesn't come out of the vagina," I said irked that boys were dumb and feeling like I had to suddenly educate everyone with my medical background. "It comes from the urethra."</p><p>"What is that?"</p><p>I gritted my teeth in frustration. "It's another hole."</p><p>"There's another one!?" I turned my head away from him stiffly. "Pee doesn't come out of the vagina so it's clean?"</p><p>"None of it is clean! The mouth, for one, has a billion different bacteria in it. There's always a chance for some sort of infection." Naruto was watching me like I was talking about the most interesting thing in the world, though I knew he wasn't listening to a word I was saying. He was just enjoying my flustered reaction. "How do you think STDs are spread? They can be passed on from oral sex just as easily as regular sex. That's why you should always use a condom!" Naruto raised his eyebrows at that remark, alluding to a time when the both of us certinly did not use a condom.</p><p>"Well okay. So there are some risks. But why do people do it then? And what about blow jobs? Pee definitely comes out of there. I know that one."</p><p>I was turning red now. I tried to concentrate on my drink. "Some people are gross and don't care of sanitary issues," I said, obviously not one of <em>those</em> people.</p><p>"Huh." Naruto turned to Sasuke-kun. "What about you Sasuke, do you think blow jobs are gross?" Sasuke-kun tilted his head and opened his mouth to say something but Naruto cut him off. "Before you say anything, think about how amazing it must feel first. Assuming you've never had one yourself."</p><p>Sasuke-kun clamped his mouth shut and then reopened it again. "I was going to say I'm not a part of this conversation."</p><p>"I'm talking to you. You're apart of the conversation!"</p><p>Sasuke-kun turned his head away, letting his hair mask his expression from us. I couldn't help thinking that giving Sasuke-kun a blow job was not disgusting at all, as it was impossible for anything about him to be gross. In fact, imagining his face, losing that stony expression and actually showing feeling for once, it made me feel a tight pull of muscle shifting low inside of me. I took a long drag of my drink.</p><p>"Okay, so we established there are risks, but everything has risks. Some things are more riskier than others, but what I really don't get is eating ass."</p><p>I choked.</p><p>"I mean, <em>that</em> seems super unsanitary and I don't even really see the point. Like does that feel good? It can't possibly taste good can it? I mean, maybe I can see gay guys doing it if they're desperate and don't have a lubricant, but in Pervy-sage's book, he did it to a girl."</p><p>"Naruto! <em>Please!</em> We're eating!"</p><p>"So you're not into it?"</p><p>"If you don't stop talking about this I'm going to punch you so hard you'll never taste anything again!"</p><p>Naruto ignored me and addressed Sasuke-kun. "What about you Sasuke?"</p><p>Sasuke-kun somehow was able to change the subject simply saying, "The waitress hasn't come back in a while."</p><p>"You scared her away bastard, remember?" It infuriated me somewhat, that Naruto would listen to Sasuke-kun but ignore me. "You want somethin'?" Naruto shoved himself to his feet, grasping the back of the booth for balance. "I'll go find her for you. What do you want?"</p><p>"I want the check. And I don't think it's a good idea for you to leave the table."</p><p>Naruto waved his hand, which meant he had to let go of the booth and he nearly toppled over. "I'm not gonna get lost! Just go over to the bar."</p><p>Sasuke-kun let out his breath slowly as Naruto walked away.</p><p>"The bar is only a few feet away," I said. "You can still see him, can't you?"</p><p>"Seeing him isn't the problem."</p><p>I turned my head around as the bar was behind me. Naruto had quickly located our waitress and appeared to be talking her up a storm. She blushed at something he said and I pursed my lips together. "Doesn't know how to flirt my ass! He knows exactly what he's doing!"</p><p>Sasuke-kun didn't have anything to say to that as the both of us watched Naruto let the waitress touch the stump of his missing arm. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but oh could I imagine it, 'does your battle wound still hurt?' 'not if you be gentle with it...'. I nearly belched.</p><p>"Aren't you going to go up there and do something about it?" I asked, not taking my eyes away.</p><p>"Hn. Why don't you do it? You're practically his babysitter already." Sasuke-kun said most things neutrally. Because of this, it made him seem cold and rude when he was just stating things as he saw it. But this time, there seemed to be a little bit more distaste in his voice than usual, like, Sasuke-kun was almost jealous of <em>me</em>.</p><p>I swung back around in my seat, landing harder on my ass than I meant to. "Oh no. He's not my responsibility anymore. Watching after him when you were gone was enough. Besides, he's yours now."</p><p>Sasuke-kun frowned at me. "What do you mean by that?"</p><p>I sucked on the straw of my almost finished drink-it was mostly melted ice now-and stared back at Sasuke-kun. I wasn't exactly sure if I was supposed to know about Sasuke-kun's and Naruto's secret relationship. Sasuke-kun knew I had seen them, but no one ever said anything. "Isn't he like..." I didn't want to say 'boyfriend'. Sasuke-kun was watching me like he was just waiting to become upset with whatever poor choice of wording I did decide. "...<em>yours</em>." I just winded up repeating.</p><p>"How drunk are you?"</p><p>I suddenly sat up a little, trying not to appear so slouched and sloppy. "I'm not."</p><p>Sasuke-kun gave me a look that clearly said he didn't believe me before his eyes snapped back to Naruto. "Naruto doesn't belong to anyone," he said without looking at me.</p><p>I supposed that was true. At the moment, Naruto belonged to the waitress. Sometimes, Naruto belonged to Hinata, and at one point he had belonged to me. I got up to twist back around and saw that the girl was now touching Naruto's other bicep, which he had flexed for her. She was leaning awfully close to his face and he was making no move to step back. "You're not going to go say anything?"</p><p>"What difference would it make? Naruto's always been addicted to attention."</p><p>Naruto was going to do it. He was going to kiss her. I saw his eyes start to droop and his head move. "What the <em>hell!?</em>" I shouted so loudly that Naruto heard me and jumped back. He apoligized to the waitress before moving around her, grabbing two drinks in his one hand. I saw the waitress try to help him carry them, but he shooed her away with a smile and a wave of his missing arm. He sauntered back over to us, me glaring at him the entire time.</p><p>"Sorry I took so long, but apparently, everything we order is going to be on the house, on the account of me being a hero, so we don't even have to use Kakashi-sensei's card!"</p><p>"What did you think you-" Naruto stopped me mid sentenced as he let the drinks land somewhat messily onto the table.</p><p>"Here you go Sakura-chan, have another Cosmos."</p><p>If I were more sober, Naruto buying my silence with another drink would have never worked. Unfortunately for Naruto, Sasuke-kun wasn't nearly as easy to gain forgiveness. He tried anyway as he pushed the second drink in front of Sasuke-kun.</p><p>"I got you a Bloody Mary because you hate sweet things. I remembered you liked tomatoes." Sasuke-kun didn't answer him, he just gave Naruto a look of absolute seething. "It's pretty gross so you should like it right?"</p><p>Sasuke-kun actually made to knock the glass over in his rage, but Naruto somehow grabbed it and pulled it to safety. It was a pretty impressive feat with Naruto being as buzzed as he was.</p><p>"Fine Teme, no need to make a mess. I'll drink the disgusting drink! Was trying to be nice."</p><p>"You probably need the vegetables anyway," I commented. It distilled the violent mood rather quickly.</p><p>"I eat vegetables! I eat scallions, corn, leek, and onion, sometimes carrots and peas."</p><p>"The vegetables in instant ramen don't count. They're freeze dried and then cooked in the water. All the nutrients are gone by the time you eat them."</p><p>"Raw vegetables are the worst though!" Naruto stirred the Bloody Mary once with the celery stick before removing the celery and tasting the dipped end. He made a face. "Yeah man, like healthy shit."</p><p>"Bloody Mary's aren't healthy," I told him. "On account of the alcohol."</p><p>"Then what's the point of it?" Naruto continued to suck on the end of the celery stick. I was waiting for him to bite off the end but he did no such thing. Instead his eyes flashed over to Sasuke-kun who was just as moody as ever.</p><p>Naruto casually dipped the celery back into the drink again, before licking the red juice off slowly and suggestively, running his tongue under the vegetable far longer than he had to, eyes locked on Sasuke-kun.</p><p>Sasuke-kun looked like he had stopped breathing as he watched Naruto's mouth. I gaped at the both of them. Naruto pulled the celery out, his lips going into the most crafty, most smuggest smirk I had ever seen on his face. It only lasted for an instant though, as he soon was pushing the celery lazily back in between his lips.</p><p>I tried to remember exactly when Naruto had gained the gall. He had always been somewhat annoying. He wasn't one to keep his mouth shut when there was talk about sex, but now it was different than any of the failed attempts Naruto ever had in hitting on me. Now he was more subtle. Now he knew what he was doing. When did he become so much more confident in himself? When did he get sexier?</p><p>And why was I so annoyed by it?</p><p>Sasuke-kun looked like he was going to choke on his own spit, watching Naruto's antics. He swallowed. "When are we going?"</p><p>Naruto put the celery back in the glass. "I ordered all of us shots. They should be here soon."</p><p>Sasuke-kun narrowed his eyes. "That's the exact opposite of answering my question."</p><p>"Take the shot with us, Sasuke. For Team Seven. Then I swear on me becoming Hokage, we'll go." He leaned back, his arm wrapped around my shoulder casually. "I want to have fun with my friends."</p><p>"Or you want to get into the waitress's pants," Sasuke-kun commented snippily, reminding me why I was annoyed with Naruto also. Naruto was deliberately trying to make Sasuke-kun jealous. At least it appeared so. He couldn't really be that oblivious to what he was doing, could he?</p><p>Though a part of me like the idea of Naruto wandering off with the waitress, and then maybe I could seduce sad and lonely Sasuke-kun while he was suddenly vulnerable. I was too drunk to really think about how unlikely that would be, but I let myself lean into Naruto's strong and warm arm with the thought anyway, relaxed with his company.</p><p>"You mad I'm not giving you enough attention, Teme?" Naruto asked slyly, hand squeezing my shoulder, but I didn't notice.</p><p>"Oh stop it Naruto. You're being an asshole," I said.</p><p>Naruto laughed. "What?"</p><p>"You keep flirting with the waitress when Sasuke-kun's your boyfriend!" I finally blurted out without control.</p><p>"I'm<em> not </em>Naruto's boyfriend," Sasuke-kun quickly said.</p><p>"You're not?" Naruto asked, almost sounding hurt but I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not. Sasuke-kun was not amused.</p><p>"Sasuke-kun," I said hurriedly, realizing I had said something wrong and was trying to fix it. "You know I love you,"</p><p>Sasuke-kun rolled his eyes and muttered "Not this again," darkly under his breath.</p><p>"but I just want you to be happy. I really do. I mean, I would love to shag you in the bathroom or something, but-" Sasuke-kun's eye's widened slightly but I wasn't aware that I had said that part out loud. "it's more than physical attraction. I care about you, and if what makes you happy is being gay, than I <em>support</em> you."</p><p>Naruto started laughing so hard he let go of me and went face down onto the table.</p><p>"I'm not gay," Sasuke-kun said to me, and then to Naruto, "Don't give her anymore to drink."</p><p>"I don't know Sasuke," Naruto said in between his laughter. "You're pretty gay."</p><p>"No I'm not!"</p><p>"I'm not that drunk!" I said. "I just can't... I just can't convey what I mean tactfully. I'm sorry. That was terrible." I took another breath and I tried to speak more coherently, "but I wanted to get this issue out in the open between the three of us, so we can stop tripping over the elephant in the room." I just had to think a little bit before starting each sentence.</p><p>"What issue?" Sasuke-kun snapped.</p><p>"Your secret love for each other!" I exclaimed exasperated.</p><p>"We're not in love!" Sasuke-kun shouted.</p><p>Naruto shook his head. "No we are. I see what she's saying. We didn't<em> know</em>, because it's a<em> secret </em>love for each other."</p><p>"What are <em>you</em> saying!?" Sasuke-kun's wide eyes went back and forth between the two of us. "You guys need to stop drinking. The both of you."</p><p>"Come on, Sasuke! Get me a little bit drunker and maybe <em>I'll </em>shag you in the bathroom," Naruto laughed.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Maybe I'll eat ass too, but no promises. I don't think I'm that drunk yet."</p><p>"No! Sasuke-kun's innocents!" I flung my arms around Naruto like that would protect Sasuke-kun. Naruto laughed underneath me and it was a pleasant feeling so I held on longer.</p><p>"Sasuke doesn't have any innocents. Though, he <em>is</em> blushing."</p><p>"Oh, Sasuke-kun's so cute when he's blushing!"</p><p>"I'm not!"</p><p>"Order of three sake bombs?!" The waitress said proudly, grinning knowing at Naruto. Naruto smiled back like they shared a secret.</p><p>"That's more than a shot," Sasuke-kun grumbled.</p><p>"Hardly," Naruto said. He got up and addressed the waitress. "I can take care of this," he said as he took each thing from the waitress's tray, one at a time, before placing them on the table. "My friend's jealous or something so let me handle this or you'll get caught in the middle."</p><p>The waitress gave me a quick glance, assuming I was the jealous one. I glared back, not appreciating her assumption, but probably just confirming her thoughts for her anyway.</p><p>"Here's an advance tip," Naruto said, pulling out his frog wallet and dumping the contents onto the tray, since he couldn't use another arm to pull the money out.</p><p>"Thank you Naruto-kun!" and the waitress spun away.</p><p>"Naruto-<em>kun</em>?" I asked skeptically.</p><p>"Don't worry about it," Naruto said dismissively. "I need to teach the two of you how to drink a sake bomb. You have to do it in a certain way." Naruto must have had a death wish because he sat back down next to Sasuke-kun, jostling him over with his shoulder before gathering some of the things on the table.</p><p>"What happens if you drink it wrong?" I asked, suddenly interested because in truth I was having fun.</p><p>"You die." Naruto laughed. "No I'm just kidding." He poured all three of us a shot of sake. "Okay Sakura-chan, do what I do." He placed a set of chopsticks on a beer glass in front of Sasuke-kun before doing his own. "You got to balance the sake on the chopsticks, so it's hard. Well, it's hard if you're already trashed that is," he laughed.</p><p>I carefully balanced the sake shot on my chopsticks over the beer glass. "It's not hard!" I said.</p><p>"Okay, it's not that hard. I was just saying, if you found it hard, it's alright-"</p><p>"I'm <em>not</em> that drunk! Anyway what do you do next?"</p><p>"We all pound the table until the sake falls into the beer, and then we chug the beer as fast as possible."</p><p>Sasuke-kun glared at Naruto. "Why would you waste sake like that?"</p><p>"Oh so now you're the expert!" Naruto reach over to grab Sasuke-kun's face.</p><p>Sasuke-kun pushed him off but it was somewhat difficult because he also had to reach around himself to do it. "Get off of me!"</p><p>"I've never chugged anything before," I said nervously.</p><p>"Oh Sakura-chan, it's easy! Just throw back your head, open up your throat, and let all the liquid slide right down. Oh, and don't forget to swallow at the end."</p><p>"Why has everything you said and done tonight seem really perverted?"</p><p>"I don't know what you're talking about Sakura-chan. You must be the perverted one."</p><p>Oh.</p><p>What if Naruto was right?</p><p>He laughed at my face. "Okay, are you ready?"</p><p>Naruto and I beat the table. I didn't mean to, but a small crack formed from where my fist hit the wood. Naruto burst out into a laugh when noticing it, but didn't dwell on it for too long for the sake fell into the beer.</p><p>"Quick! Drink!"</p><p>The beer began to foam up as soon as the sake hit it and I thought for sure it was going to explode if I didn't drink it in time. Maybe we really would die. I chugged down the drink faster than I've ever drank anything. I even slammed my mug down a moment before Naruto did.</p><p>Naruto didn't notice that he had lost because his eyes widened when he realized that Sasuke-kun had made no move to lift his mug.</p><p>"You're supposed to do it quick!" Naruto whined, before grabbing Sasuke-kun's mug and drinking it himself. Sasuke-kun rolled his eyes, obviously not caring at this point if Naruto had anymore to drink.</p><p>What he wasn't expecting was that as soon as the last of the contents of the glass were gone, Naruto threw the glass onto the table and grabbed the collar of Sasuke-kun's shirt, pulling him into a dramatic kiss.</p><p>My whole body froze as I watched the scene before me, too drunk to know how to react or how to feel. I was just surprised.</p><p>Sasuke-kun was also surprised, but then I think he was too busy <em>drowning</em> because Naruto had attempted to fill Sasuke-kun with whatever was in his mouth. After a struggled gagging, Sasuke-kun gained control of his arm and swung at Naruto's head so hard that Naruto went flying out of the booth and onto the ground, people jumping back to avoid being hit with his body.</p><p>Sasuke-kun spat out the beer and sake in a spray before screaming, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?"</p><p>Naruto didn't get up from the ground. All he did was laugh, people walking around him. "Sas... Sasuke... Sakura-chan hits harder than you..."</p><p>Sasuke-kun got up, fist clenched and what I thought was a spark of electricity dancing through the air around his arm. I got up with him. "Sasuke-kun, no!" I held out a hand, fingers brushing against his chest.</p><p>Sasuke-kun looked at me once before announcing he was going to go to the bathroom to clean himself off.</p><p>"Naruto!" I scolded once Sasuke-kun was gone. Naruto was holding his arm in the air, waiting for me to pull him up and I did, because he was causing a scene being down on the dirty floor like that. "What's wrong with you? Why are you trying to piss off Sasuke-kun on purpose!? He's already irritable!"</p><p>"'Cause the bastard deserves it!" Once Naruto was upright, he climbed back into the booth next to me, face close to my ear. "I have to tell you a secret, Sakura-chan."</p><p>"Yea? What is it?"</p><p>He snickered. "I'm really drunk," he said as he started to pet my hair.</p><p>I was pretty drunk too but I was doing my best to not let it show. "I can see that. Stop trying to get Sasuke-kun mad. Can't you see...? He really <em>likes</em> you."</p><p>Naruto huffed. "Sasuke really likes me? He hates me!"</p><p>"How can you not <em>feel </em>the sexual frustration from him whenever he's around you? At first I didn't know what this... this <em>was! </em>And I don't know if it's just the alcohol talking, but I think that's what this is. I think it's sexual frustration. That's why you two fight all the time!"</p><p>"Yea? Maybe. Maybe I'm just not seeing it 'cause all of <em>my</em> sexual frustration gets in the way." Naruto laughed. A flash of all the hickeys I had found on him that one night came back to mind, wondering if Sasuke-kun had wound up with the same. "Man, I'm so bad. I have such a problem. I just... want to get laid so badly. Maybe I don't care who it is."</p><p>I frowned. "That's the problem with men. They're always thinking with their dicks! You<em> should </em>care! You don't want to get an STD."</p><p>"Oh shit."</p><p>"That's right."</p><p>"So you're saying I should bang Sasuke?"</p><p>"No!" I blushed. "I'm just saying, be nicer to him. I don't like to see him... like that. He doesn't like how you talk to that waitress."</p><p>"What about you, Sakura-chan? How do you feel when I talk to the waitress?"</p><p>"Annoyed because you're annoying Sasuke-kun!"</p><p>Naruto grunted. "Sasuke doesn't like me very much. Doesn't matter what I do."</p><p>"Stop it!" I shook Naruto and he just leaned heavier on me. "Sasuke-kun really does. I think. Or was it<em> you</em> that likes <em>Sasuke-kun</em>. I can't remember anymore."</p><p>Naruto grinned at me. "I like <em>you </em>Sakura-chan," he purred.</p><p>My heart skipped a beat for reasons I didn't understand. "No, you like everyone!" I suddenly remembered.</p><p>"Or maybe everyone just likes me. Like Sasuke. Sasuke likes me, and I like Sakura-chan."</p><p>"But I like Sasuke-kun."</p><p>Naruto chuckled. "This is a pretty fucked up love triangle."</p><p>"It is!" And both Naruto and I started laughing, so hard that I was crying by the end of it.</p><p>"Oh Sakura-chan, don't cry," Naruto continued to pet me. "I jus' want you to be happy." Naruto's voice was starting to slur.</p><p>"I want Sasuke-kun to be happy!"</p><p>"<em>'</em>mpossible!"</p><p>"No! You can do it! You can make anyone happy! I've <em>seen</em> you!"</p><p>"I can't make Sasuke happy. I tried. I got 'im that drink 'member?"</p><p>"Did you tell him how you feel? I know you say you don't like him and that you like me, but, before you said ... that you could be in<em> love</em> with him."</p><p>Naruto was still giggling as he leaned into me. "I told him. I told him that... he hurts me... when I see him hurt. Sometimes I think I'm in love with him. Bu' I don' know, I didn't tell him that part." He nuzzled his face into my hair. "Fucking bastard would have prolly hurt himself more... trying to kill me."</p><p>"What did he say?"</p><p>"Nothin'. He never says anything. He doesn't even lie. Or at least I can't be sure. I can't tell."</p><p>"Naruto, if you're in love with Sasuke-kun, why do you keep saying you <em>like</em> me? Why do you keep flirting with all these other girls?"</p><p>Naruto pushed himself off of me and looked me in the face, like I was supposed to just understand him. I didn't understand him. I never understood.</p><p>I couldn't wrap my mind around Naruto. I believed him mostly when he spoke. Naruto never had a reason to lie about anything. Naruto had gone so far for Sasuke-kun, more than anyone. I remembered the night he held me close and admitted he didn't know what he felt for him. Maybe that's why Naruto never said out loud that he was in love. Only that he <em>could</em> be. He didn't even know. Actually, Naruto had never used the word 'love' to describe his feelings for me either. We just all assumed he was in love. It seemed too obvious. Maybe Naruto never said it because he was afraid, but I wished he would. I wanted to understand, to know for sure.</p><p>"I don't know," he finally answered when the questioning look didn't leave my face. "I jus'... don't want to be alone. I mean, it's not really all a sex thing. I just hate being alone <em>so </em>much. Like trying to sleep after spending the day with people and then they all leave. Fuck, I just... hate that. " Then he started laughing again. "Shit, I meant to follow Sasuke to the bathroom. I've had to pee for a <em>billion</em> hours but I can't find it! It's alright. Don't want to break the seal anyway."</p><p>Sasuke-kun silently returned. He slumped into his seat, refusing to look at either of us. Naruto ignored him and continued to give me all of his attention. I felt guilty receiving it, but I couldn't help but laugh and smile at him as he tried and failed to use his chopsticks.</p><p>"I caaaan't Sakura-chan... I'm not really left handed yet. I need you to help..."</p><p>"How did you feed yourself for the last few months?"</p><p>"I don't remember."</p><p>Unfortunately, when I tried to feed Naruto, I missed his mouth and covered his face with sauce. We burst out laughing.</p><p>"Gees, Sakura-chan, what hand are <em>you</em> using?"</p><p>"My right?" I asked as I clumsily wiped his face with a napkin.</p><p>"Maybe you're left handed then, because you missed."</p><p>"No, I'm right handed." The second try I got the bit of food into his mouth. "See? I can do it."</p><p>"Wow, Sakura-chan that was amazing!" Naruto said in between chewing.</p><p>"I know."</p><p>"You're so good at holding your liquor, Sakura-chan. You drink everything really fast but it doesn't really seem to effect you." Naruto leaned on the table as he stared at me. "You're not really tripping over your sentences or fallin' down or nothin'. You just say funny things." For all I knew Naruto was being sarcastic but what was I to care?</p><p>"I'm not saying funny things. And you're already a fool. Since I'm not a fool I must seem super cool to you."</p><p>"You are super cool."</p><p>"I chugged that beer pretty good."</p><p>"You did, Sakura-chan."</p><p>"I bet I can chug better than you, even though I've never done it before tonight!"</p><p>"We should have a drinking contest!"</p><p>"A drinking contest!"</p><p>"No!" Sasuke-kun finally spoke up. "You two aren't having anymore tonight. The both of you are going to die from alcohol poisoning.</p><p>"Psh!" Naruto laughed. "You don't know what I can handle! You're just a pussy that can't hold his liquor!"</p><p>"I'm not even drinking."</p><p>"Exac'ly!"</p><p>"No Sasuke-kun, it's okay," I told him, running a hand through my hair, quite drunk now. "Just let me show Naruto, that I'm better than him. I <em>never</em> get to be better than anyone!"</p><p>"Sakura, you're already better at Naruto in a dozen of things! Basically everything Naruto is terrible at, you're good with."</p><p>"Whoa, Sasuke just gave you a compliment." Naruto tried to stifle a burp. "By insulting me... Hey!"</p><p>I blinked at Sasuke-kun. "Y-you really think so Sasuke-kun? Am I really better...? At what?"</p><p>"Not drinking, because I'ma bout to beat you in this drinking contest!" Naruto cut in.</p><p>"Yes, the drinking contest that I'm going to win at! Sasuke-kun thinks I'm better at drinking than you.</p><p>"I don't 'member him saying that..."</p><p>Sasuke-kun didn't seem to know how to argue with me when he was so used to his opponent only being Naruto. Normally I was the voice of reason so there was never any need to argue with me. Especially since I tended to agree with everything Sasuke-kun said anyway. This was a terrible time to kill that habit.</p><p>"It doesn't matter if he said it or not because it's still true."</p><p>I hollered at the waitress. I saw her eyes land on me once but she turned away. "Hey, what the hell? She just ignored me!"</p><p>Naruto snorted. "She feels threatened by you 'cause she likes me so much."</p><p>"What? That's absurd. I'm not even your girlfriend! Sasuke-kun on the other hand... he's your current love interest."</p><p>Sasuke-kun just dropped his head onto his arm and didn't lift it again.</p><p>I shoved Naruto. "Get her to come over! We need to make it clear that you're not gonna go for her. She needs to treat this entire table equally."</p><p>"Yea?" Naruto asked intrigued.</p><p>Sasuke-kun groaned.</p><p>"Don't worry, Sasuke-kun, we'll keep you out of this. Naruto, call her <em>over!</em>"</p><p>Naruto waved over the waitress. Of course she came for him. "What can I get you guys now?"</p><p>"I think we're having a drinking contest-"</p><p>"No!" I interrupted Naruto. "We have to tell the waitress something far more important!"</p><p>"We do?" Naruto asked, confused.</p><p>"That Naruto is unavailable!"</p><p>"I am?"</p><p>"Yea, because I'm your girlfriend now." Naruto burst into hysterical laughter. I elbowed him hard. "Naruto," I hissed. "You're not making it seem real."</p><p>"Maybe you should kiss me then. That would make all the bullshit you're always sprouting seem real."</p><p>I glared at Naruto, feeling the misgivings in between us that so rarely showed its ugly face. Then I gave a quick nervous glance at Sasuke-kun. "You know how I feel about PDF," I said, trying to skip that part of my act, at least in front of Sasuke-kun.</p><p>Naruto nearly choked. "It's PDA, Sakura-chan. Public display of affection not-" he almost couldn't speak with how much he was cracking up, "public display of fucking? What the fuck's PDF?!"</p><p>"It's a digital file," Sasuke-kun explained.</p><p>I hit Naruto hard again, like he was the one that had spoken.</p><p>Sasuke-kun looked at the waitress seriously. "Please do not serve them anything more. Obviously they've had enough."</p><p>The waitressed closed her eyes and replied somewhat rudely, "I'm sure Naruto is capable of knowing when he's had enough. He was capable of saving the world." I did not like the way she was talking to Sasuke-kun. "He can have what he wants. <em>Her</em> on the other hand may have had enough..."</p><p>"Hear that bastard!? I can have what I want," Naruto said darkly, slapping his arm around me and pulling me closer. He turned to the the waitress. "Have you met my girlfriend Sakura-chan?" He was still chuckling over himself like me being his girlfriend was the funniest thing ever. " No, but really, this is my friend. And Sasuke, the bastard over there, he's my best friend. The both of them are my best friends, but like more than best friends, like family, but like, more than family, like holy fuck... you guys..." Sasuke-kun was no longer looking at Naruto as if he was annoyed, and I felt a sudden emotion being wrapped around Naruto's warm arm. "... you guys are like fucking pieces of me."</p><p>There was a long silence between all of us, including the waitress who was still standing there waiting to take out next order. Even the music overhead seemed to grow quieter.</p><p>"Naruto-kun, that was so meaningful to hear," the waitress said as if she was interested. "I would love to know more about you, and your friends..." She still didn't seem to be getting it.</p><p>"Naruto, babe," Naruto made a face at being called 'babe'. Whatever. If he wanted to pretend us actually dating was ridiculous, it didn't matter what I did or said. "I think I want my kiss now."</p><p>"Ha, ha, ha, what?"</p><p>I grabbed both of Naruto's round, whiskered cheeks in my hands and pressed his fish puckered lips over mine. It felt like time stop simply because Naruto's responds was slow, and time didn't move without Naruto. Nothing could move without Naruto. It wasn't until I felt Naruto cup the back of my head eagerly that time came back, and I pulled away to gleam triumphantly at the bitch waitress who was now gawking at us. "Did you get that, Honey?" I asked sarcastically, Naruto still breathless beside me with a shit eating grin on his face. "That was an order of, Naruto-only-belongs-to-this-table and to-fuck-the-hell-off."</p><p>The waitress turned around without a word.</p><p>"Whoa Sakura-chan told her off!" Naruto turned his body to follow the movement of the girl. "Though, you cock-blocked me didn't you? Damn!"</p><p>"It was for your own good, Naruto! I just saved you from making a bad decision!"</p><p>"Bad decision?"</p><p>Sasuke-kun ended the feeling of pride that I had received from chasing the poor girl away as soon as he slammed his fist against the table. "How are we going to get the check!?"</p><p>"It doesn't matter..." Naruto said leaning lowly over the table. "I told you it's on the house!"</p><p>"I'm not believing that until I see a check with a zero balance, and I highly doubt there's any money on that card you stole from Kakashi. And you!" He waved his hand at me. "Is kissing everyone you know some sort of new hobby of yours?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Because it's kind of disgusting and makes you seem like an easy tramp."</p><p>"Whoa, Sasuke you fucking asshole bastard, take that fucking back!" Even before Naruto had finished his sentence tears were rolling down my face. A hiccup escaped my lips and I covered my mouth with my hands, like I could hold it all in, though I was failing miserably. "Look! She's crying! You always make her cry! Fuck man, I hate you sometimes. Why? Why you got to do that?"</p><p>"Of course she's crying! She's trashed! You got her this way. That's what drunk girls do, when they're not kissing people, apparently."</p><p>"No! You're an asshole! Sakura-chan, we're leaving and Sasuke's not invited!" Naruto took one of my wrists and hauled me out of the booth.</p><p>"And where the hell do you think you're going with her?" Sasuke-kun asked in between clenched teeth."</p><p>"Dancing," Naruto announced with a wave of his stump. "We're gonna go dance, and you're not invited because never in a billion years would you ever have the balls to even try!"</p><p>"Wait, what?" I asked in between my tears but Naruto was already whirling me away. The both of us hit quite a few people, which Naruto apoligized to and tried to somewhat explain that he didn't actually know how to dance. There wasn't really a dancing floor so Naruto just lead me around the aisles of tables and people. I couldn't help myself. I started laughing, my tears all but forgotten.</p><p>Naruto tried to twirl me but he almost fell so I grabbed onto the sleeves of his jacket to keep him upright. Then I started to lead the dance, swaying us gently back and forth because I didn't think that either of us could handle anything more.</p><p>"Whoa, you're really good at this,"</p><p>"Shut up," I laughed.</p><p>Naruto's one hand ran down my back, heavy and comforting and warm. "We're gonna dip!"</p><p>"What?!" But Naruto was already dipping me backward and I was screaming because I thought for sure he would drop me. We were upright again a few seconds later, Naruto chuckling as he spun us around faster.</p><p>I tripped over his feet a little and my hands flung themselves, trying to find a better grip to no avail. Instead my nails dug into the front of Naruto's chest, and he made a grunting noise like it may have hurt a little bit, but that silly smile never left his face.</p><p>"Okay Sakura-chan, we should dance slower. You were right." He pressed me into him, and my arms wrapped around his neck comfortably. I sighed contented. Naruto's scent was familiar and I almost wanted to fall asleep standing up like that, Naruto softly swaying us.</p><p>I took no notice of Naruto's wandering hand. It started patting my head, which had felt nice. As it moved around my back, I found it very supportive in keeping me against Naruto. I liked the way the warmth moved over each part of me. I moved against it with the music. It didn't seem like a bad idea when I felt that same hand squeeze my ass. In fact it felt really good, like this was how you were supposed to dance. My hips just seemed to fit so nicely with Naruto's, they never parted with our movements.</p><p>The warm tingling feeling I felt from Naruto's hand was traveling and intensifying the more he touched me. I felt my breath quickened as I ground my hips back against Naruto's, trying to find something with the movement. I continued rubbing my body against him, his hot breath in my ear. He almost stopped moving and I remembered that this was dancing, so I swung my hips back and force suggestively, trying to pick up the dance that this was supposed to be. I didn't forget that we were dancing, but I did forget there were other people around us, and I absolutely forgot about Sasuke-kun.</p><p>"Whoa, Sakura-chan..." Naruto breathed. "You're so sexy..."</p><p>"Keep dancing with me," I moaned.</p><p>"Right," and Naruto continued the swaying, arm holding me impossibly close. It wasn't until I felt him turn his head in a certain direction and him saying something did I remembered what was going on. "Ha, Sasuke's so mad right now."</p><p>"Oh no, Sasuke-kun's mad at us!" I wailed. I didn't really remember exactly why he was mad but the tears from before were coming back to me now.</p><p>"No, just look, Sakura-chan," Naruto spun me around so that my back was against his front. He held me, still swaying, as he directed my attention in the direction of Sasuke-kun.</p><p>Sasuke-kun was still sitting at our booth, elbow resting on the table, his chin in hand. He wasn't turned toward us, but he was looking at us with the corner of his eye, glaring sideways like he was seriously thinking about killing us with his Rennegan.</p><p>"Look at 'im, so jealous."</p><p>"Oh no, he's going to kill me now! For stealing you from him!"'</p><p>"Psh, no I don't think that's it. I think he's more jealous over the fact that we're having fun and he isn't. He's a much more simpler person than people realize."</p><p>"But still, he's upset."</p><p>"Isn't he always upset?" Naruto's hand ran over one of my breasts while I took his words into consideration. Sasuke-kun lifted his head out of his hand to turn it to us. "Man, Sasuke's so hot."</p><p>I murmured in agreement.</p><p>"It sometimes makes me wish..." Naruto breathed heavy into my ear. "I could just fuck the shit out of 'im, you know? Because maybe he'll start finally relaxing or somethin'."</p><p>"Then why don't you? I bet you could if you tried. You're the only one that can get him to do anything." I didn't notice Naruto's hand traveling down my torso and then in between my legs.</p><p>"Because I want you to be there too. Sometimes, I touch myself... to this fantasy, of Sasuke fucking you," the blood was starting to rush in my body, my heart pounding. Naruto wasn't really saying what I thought, was he? "and then I fuck him while he's doing it. Or maybe even have you in the middle instead. Can you imagine that? Both Sasuke and I inside you?" His fingers brushed my crouched over my shorts. "Like, do you think I'd be able to feel Sasuke while I'm in you? That's the kind of stuff I find myself thinking about all the time."</p><p>"I..." I didn't really know how to respond, but I was suddenly too embarrassed to be in Naruto's arm while Sasuke-kun could see everything. I could now feel Naruto's prominent erection against my butt.</p><p>"Let's get him drunk, Sakura-chan. Let's get him drunk and molest him together. We need to work as a team. It's the only way we can seduce him."</p><p>"No, Naruto." I pulled out of Naruto's grasp and turned to face him. "I can't. It's immoral. Sasuke-kun would never want to and getting him drunk to do it is just wrong. Besides, I don't want to have sex with anyone I don't love again. I wouldn't be able to... to just <em>share</em> Sasuke-kun with you. I wouldn't be able to handle it."</p><p>Sasuke-kun and Naruto almost being together like they were now, I realized, was okay because it wasn't definite. Whether it was only because they didn't want people to know, or they themselves hadn't worked out their feeling yet, or they didn't really want to make it real, it was okay, because they weren't actually together. At least not yet, and I could pretend to be the good friend, the third wheel, the person on the outside. But if I was in the middle of it, if I witnessed how much they loved each other, realized that I wasn't anything more than just a new toy to help change up their sex lives, oh I would die.</p><p>Naruto frowned at me. He was giving me that face he had given me when I tried to convince him I was in love with him, the angry face he only directed to me when he was mad at something I had said. "I was half joking, you know? I don't understand you Sakura. First you say you don't love me, then you say you do, and then you don't again!" He gripped the front of his shirt. "You realize it's tearing me inside and out, right? Like, just stick with one, okay? I don't care which one it is."</p><p>"Naruto, I do love you, as a brother."</p><p>"As a brother? Funny how neither of us have any brothers so we don't know what the fuck that's even supposed to feel like!"</p><p>The sudden guilt Naruto threw me under made me mad, so I took it out on him. "Well, what about you?! Ever since you saved the people of Konoha, you've become this huge player all of a sudden. You got all the girls eating out of your hand. You got even some of the men looking like they'd be lost without you. You can't seem to be able to choose what you want. You keep saying you want me, but at the same time you might be in love with Sasuke? Like what the fuck do <em>you </em>mean? Or do you just want sex <em>that </em>badly."</p><p>Naruto glared at me. "If I wanted sex <em>that</em> badly, I would just go have sex, Sakura! I could have sex with anyone I want, but I <em>don't.</em>"</p><p>"You don't, huh?" I said crossing my arms and staring at him skeptically. "What about that time you were covered in hickeys?"</p><p>"I don't even remember how those got there!"</p><p>"Of course you don't!"</p><p>"And besides, I'm pretty sure it was just Sasuke!"</p><p>"Oh, <em>just</em> Sasuke? What? Is Sasuke-kun not supposed to count?"</p><p>"No because-" Naruto didn't seem to know how to finish his sentence. "Because it's you guys! I... I just want you two. I mean, I don't really care how. I don't really care if we fuck or not I just want... you two."</p><p>"Or maybe you're so focused on us because Sasuke-kun and I are the only ones that don't just melt into your hand like a puddle of goo!" I gasped. "That's why! Because it's a challenge for you! You're just trying to train your stupid seduction skills so you can get more people!"</p><p>"Fuck no! What the hell?" Naruto's eyes were glistening. "Fine, you're right. Maybe I just need to get over the both of you, because obviously," he waved his arm over in the direction of Sasuke-kun. "I'm not getting anywhere with either one of you! I just need to find some sort of lover, and stay with that person forever so I can give the two of you up, give you guys the much needed space from me." Naruto turned away and started walking.</p><p>"Where are you going?!" I shouted after him.</p><p>"To find someone who actually appreciates my company!"</p><p>I turned around to look for Sasuke-kun, to see if he saw us fighting or not, but to my horror, Sasuke-kun was no where to be seen. "Oh, shit." And that was when the alcohol of the five drinks I had decided to down, kicked in all at once.</p><p>I couldn't recognize anyone's face, not even the staff, and the whole floor seemed to sway with whatever small movement of my head I made. I don't know how, since it wasn't that big of an establishment, but I was lost and I was drunk. I couldn't decipher what was more than two feet in front of me. Naruto probably left to go find a hooker to take out his grievance on, or maybe even that waitress. Sasuke-kun had left the both of us.</p><p>I started crying in my frustration, and not being able to keep myself standing, I just went down onto the floor. A few people tripped over me, but I didn't care, figuring I deserved it anyway. I shouldn't have gotten drunk. I had upset both Sasuke-kun and Naruto by being stupid and now I didn't even know where they were or where I was. I felt like I was sitting there for hours, just crying and getting kicked by people.</p><p>"Get off the floor, Sakura." That sounded like Sasuke-kun's voice, but it couldn't be because he had left Naruto and I forever.</p><p>Sasuke-kun hauled me to my feet after grabbing one of my arms. "I lost Naruto!" I cried. "He ran away!"</p><p>"I found him at the bar. He should still be at the table if he didn't wander away again. Come on, I asked about the check. It should be here soon."</p><p>I followed Sasuke-kun as he led me around people, tripping as I went but his grip on my arm kept me from falling to the ground.</p><p>We found the table and Naruto was sitting there, looking like he was bored as he sipped on a beer.</p><p>"Where did you get this?" Sasuke-kun let go of me to snatch the beer away. "I told you to drink the water."</p><p>"Some girl bought it for me. Don't worry, It's not part of your oh so important bill!" He waved a piece of paper in the air which I was assuming was the bill. "It says zero like I said!"</p><p>"Drink the water," Sasuke-kun repeated. He led me to the booth and pushed me into the inside before sliding in next to me. He placed a glass in front of me as well. "You too, Sakura."</p><p>I sniffled and held my glass, but was unable to take a drink.</p><p>"So you made her cry too," Sasuke-kun said to Naruto.</p><p>"You made her cry first!"</p><p>"I'm so sorry Sasuke-kun!" I stuttered. "I'm so sorry... I drank... and now I'm so sorry. You got mad and I'm so sorry."</p><p>"It's fine."</p><p>"No, it's not!" I gently whacked my head against his shoulder. "I'm so stupid."</p><p>Sasuke-kun didn't say anything. He just sat there, like he was a disappointed parent. Naruto was giggle about something but I had no idea what.</p><p>I cried into Sasuke-kun's shoulder. I felt Sasuke-kun grumble, like he was annoyed I was getting his shirt wet. "This is why you hate me, isn't it? This is why you don't love me."</p><p>Sasuke-kun's body tightened. "How do I get her to stop?"</p><p>Naruto still laughing said, "I don't know. Say something perverted? Or just be me, since she can't stand me."</p><p>"Fuck you Naruto." I glared at him with one bleary, crying eye.</p><p>"Yes please."</p><p>"Sasuke-kun!" I moaned back into his shirt. "Make Naruto stop!"</p><p>"I don't even know what he's doing to you!" Sasuke-kun said exasperated.</p><p>I raised my head up, meeting Sasuke-kun's perplexed gaze. "He took you away from me," I said seriously.</p><p>Sasuke-kun sighed before he unclung me from his shoulder. "Drink the water Sakura," he told me again. He lifted the glass to my lips, and I placed my hands over his to steady it as I took a sip. Sasuke-kun had the most perfect hand I decided. His fingers were longer and more tapered than Naruto's, not as tan. I stared at the tendons from underneath his skin, in wonder at the make up of this elegant tool. He usually had a hand guard on, but his hand was naked tonight. So bare.</p><p>After I took three gulps, I turned my head away, some of it spilling down the front of my shirt. "Damn it," I heard Sasuke-kun say, but I didn't care about being wet.</p><p>"I love Sasuke-kun. I love you so much." I told him.</p><p>"I know," was his responds. He put the glass down and grabbed some napkins, carefully wiping my chin and hesitantly blotting the front of my shirt. I grabbed his hand, pressing it against my chest so that he knew my heart beat for him.</p><p>He yanked it away.</p><p>I needed to keep feeling him on me. He had been gone for so long, I couldn't have him leave physical contact from me now. I wrapped both my arms around his shoulders. With a sigh Sasuke-kun gave up pushing me away. He turned forward and said, "Naruto, you need to finish that entire glass."</p><p>"She loves you," I heard Naruto's drunken voice say. "Look how much she loves you."</p><p>"I can't get her off. Ignore it and drink the water."</p><p>I wanted to ignore stupid Naruto. Naruto really was stupid. He loved Sasuke-kun more than me? Said who? Yes, he saved and stopped Sasuke-kun from destroying the world, but then he just stopped there. He had Sasuke-kun <em>crying</em> and in his embrace. He healed his broken body and heart, then what? He flirted with everything else with a heartbeat, including myself. It was his own fault that Sasuke-kun didn't belong to him yet. It was his own fault that he sat alone on the other side of the table.</p><p>Sasuke-kun smelled entirely too good. I couldn't stop breathing in the scent of his neck, nuzzling my face into his hair. Sasuke-kun let me. See? Loving him wasn't nearly as hard as Naruto and I thought. Sasuke-kun was letting me love him right now. Oh, how I continued to want to love him.</p><p>"At least drink as much water as Sakura did. Then we're leaving. You can walk right?"</p><p>"I can walk, I can dance, I can fiiight, I can kick yo ass!"</p><p>"Naruto... just... whatever."</p><p>My nose found Sasuke-kun's ear underneath all that hair. The lobe was incredibly soft. I nudged it with my nose once before running my mouth quickly over it, my lips parting to graze it with my teeth.</p><p>Sasuke-kun shoved me off of him. "<em>Stop </em>Sakura!" He pushed me farther away from him and deeper into the booth. "Drink the rest of your water."</p><p>I shook my head, tears still clinging to my eyelashes. "I can't Sasuke-kun. You'll disappear!"</p><p>"I'm right here."</p><p>"How can I tell? How do I know you're not some genjutsu? I need to know you're there. I need to <em>feel</em> you."</p><p>Sasuke-kun looked guilty for a second before saying. "Feeling is an illusion also in a genjustu. It wouldn't matter. Just stay over there."</p><p>"No, please Sasuke-kun!" My hand landed on his thigh. He shoved it over to his knee and away from his crotch, but since my weight had been on it, it caused me to topple over onto his shoulder again. "Don't leave again."</p><p>Sasuke-kun ignored me. "Naruto, that's the beer, not the water."</p><p>"Sorry, sorry."</p><p>I felt Sasuke-kun shift to move the beer farther away from Naruto. I pressed my lips on his jaw, then lower onto his neck. Sasuke-kun winced and tried to crane his head away from me. "Stop it Sakura. I need you to drink the water."</p><p>"I just need to kiss you once. Then I'll drink the water and you can disappear."</p><p>"You already did, now drink the water."</p><p>"No, not yet." I kissed his chin, Sasuke-kun leaning so far away from me that I was practically draped over his body. "I keep ... missing..."</p><p>Sasuke-kun sat up, and I fell off of him and onto the table, hitting the glass. It threatened to knock over. Sasuke-kun grabbed the scruff of my shirt and jacket and pulled me back so that I was leaning against the backrest of the booth. "Stop," he said. "You're going to make a mess."</p><p>I started to whimper but before it became a complete sob, Sasuke-kun lifted my chin with his hand and placed his lips over mine so fast I wasn't even sure it had happened.</p><p>"There. You got a kiss. Now drink your water."</p><p>I stared at Naruto across the table who was gapping at me with wide glazed over blue eyes and clutching his own water glass. I couldn't read what was on his face. It didn't seem much like anger. No, I think he was just surprised with me. It was more surprising than when Naruto had kissed Sasuke-kun after the sake bomb, because this was Sasuke-kun who had initiate the kiss. Sasuke-kun had kissed me. Me, of all people.</p><p>My head spun to Sasuke-kun who was no longer looking at me. "Wait. Do it again."</p><p>"No."</p><p>"If I drink my water will you do it again?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>I pushed the glass away from me, eyes narrowing like a spoiled child.</p><p>"Fine! Just drink <em>all </em>of your water."</p><p>I then drank like it like it was the fountain of internal youth. Once I finished, I set the glass down, licking my lips and looking at Sasuke-kun expectantly.</p><p>Sasuke-kun was more than hesitant. He still had his head turned away from me, like maybe he was thinking on how to get out of it.</p><p>"You promised!" I said.</p><p>With a sigh he turned toward me. I already had my hands up to hold his head so he wouldn't escape. He wouldn't make this kiss as fleeting as his existence had always been in my life. Our lips met, cushioned against each other's. Our noses touched, allowing even more contact between the two of us and oh, it was marvelous. I was drunk, but it was the best kiss I ever had. <em>This </em>was supposed to be my first kiss.</p><p>Sasuke-kun tried to pull away then, but I had my fingers dug into his hair and the tug he gave did not part us. He paused, probably trying to think of way to get me to let go, but I was too busy moving my lips against his urgently. His fingertips brushed against my cheek and I felt his lips part. A hot breath escaped his mouth, setting my brain on fire. There was a small pinch of what wasn't quite yet pain as Sasuke-kun nipped the bottom of my lip. I moaned and felt him breathe in an excited breath of air before he was able to rip away from me and out of my grasp. Too drunk, I didn't notice the implication of experiencing any evidence of Sasuke-kun's own want. I was only focused on my need.</p><p>"That's enough of that. Let's go already."</p><p>There was a whimper from the other side of the table and turning my head I saw it had come from Naruto. Now it was clear to see every emotion written on his face, longing, jealousy, lust, betrayal, need, loneliness, sadness, arousal, the list could go on forever. I felt like I could drown in the despair of his sparkling blue eyes. His shoulders were slumped in defeat, his one arm underneath the table. Why did Naruto always have to make me feel like this?</p><p>Naruto ripped his gaze from the two of us, letting his head clunk against the table. "I..." He heaved a deep, shuttering breath. "... I need to go... to the bathroom."</p><p>"Fine. I'll take you," Sasuke-kun said.</p><p>"No." Naruto climbed out of his seat, hand clutching the rim of his pants. "I need to go alone. B. R. B."</p><p>Sasuke-kun made to get up anyway, but he fell back down from the weight of me who had refused to let go of him. "Sakura..." he said warningly.</p><p>"Don't leave me for Naruto!"</p><p>"I wanted to make sure he didn't get lost again!" He looked up, gaze still trying to follow Naruto's movements. "Dammit. He just took the waitress with him into the bathroom."</p><p>"What?" That was a sudden wake up call for me and I let go of Sasuke-kun. "Stop him! He can't! He's not allowed!"</p><p>"I am. Come with me. The last thing I need is to lose you too." Out of context that sounded terribly romantic.</p><p>I followed Sasuke-kun to the hallway where the bathrooms were. "I'm sorry," I told him. " I made you cheat on Naruto and now Naruto's gonna cheat on you."</p><p>"Sakura, I'm asking as nicely as I can for you to stop with the Naruto and I are a couple thing."</p><p>I made a sound of indifference. "I keep bringing it up because you keep denying it!" I crossed my arms. Sasuke-kun glared at me. He was still gorgeous.</p><p>"Don't tell me that you don't care about him too," he said instead. "I don't know how much you care, but I know it's more than whatever pretended relationship you made up with Ino. And I don't know what the two if you are fighting over..." Ha! If Sasuke-kun had only known it was over him. "... but he's in there because of you, not because of me. How would you feel if he ends up having sex with that girl tonight?"</p><p>"I'd kill him," I admitted.</p><p>"Then stay here and let me go get him," he told me.</p><p>I leaned against the wall and waited. After a few more minutes, Sasuke-kun returned from the small hallway without Naruto. "Where is he?"</p><p>"They weren't in the men's room. They're in the women's room."</p><p>"So?! Go in there and reclaim Naruto as yours!"</p><p>"I'm not going into the women's room!" he said, too embarrassed to complain about my phrasing of the sentence.</p><p>"It's like I always have to do everything." I turned around and stomped down the hall to the farther women's room door. Trying the doorknob I found the whole door locked. I knocked loudly. "Nar-ru-to! Get your ass out here this second!"</p><p>I got no answer.</p><p>"That idiot," I muttered. "Hey waitress whore! If you dare fucking touch him I'll crush you into gelatin! Dammit!" I took a step back and tried to kick the door open. I failed miserably. "Shit!" I swore, the pain in my foot waking me up from my drunkenness a little. Sasuke-kun eyed me. I took a breath and made sure to properly gather my chakra before attempting to do it again, having the door fly from its hinges. Sasuke-kun winced but did nothing to stop me.</p><p>I looked around in the bathroom. There were three stalls and no one by the sinks. I destroyed the door of the first stall, easily crushing it with my fist. No one was in there so I went to the second. As that door crumbled into nothing, the third stall opened on its own, our waitress scrambling out of it in fright. Her fast movement was making my head spin but I was still able to snatch her arm before she could completely escape.</p><p>"Where is he?" My voice was so low I sounded like the devil himself.</p><p>She was sobbing. "We didn't do anything!" she insisted. I let go of her because there was no point in antagonizing her. It wasn't really her fault. It was Naruto's fault. It was always his fault.</p><p>I found him sitting on the toilet in the third stall, his pants on, though the fly was unzipped and his shirt and hair were ruffled. He was resting against the wall, staring up at the ceiling. "Sakura-chan... you come to save me...?"</p><p>I had been ready to beat him into a pulp, but it was hard now when he was just so<em> relaxed </em>in front of me. I wanted to see the fear and the guilt before I ended his life, but all I really saw was relief as his blue eyes shifted from the ceiling to me.</p><p>"So you do care about me..."</p><p>"Come on you fucker," I sighed, grabbing him by the shirt and dragging him off the toilet. Our movement was halted because I had accidentally got him caught on the wall of the stall. I almost fell to the ground, but I got my momentum to move us forward.</p><p>"Finally," Sasuke-kun muttered as I dragged Naruto out through the broken doorway of the bathroom, like I had taken a long time or something. "Let's get the hell out of here before someone realizes Sakura broke the bathroom."</p><p>"Wait." I propped Naruto against the wall. Then I punched him hard across the face and he fell to the floor.</p><p>"Do you feel better?" Sasuke-kun asked.</p><p>"A little bit."</p><p>Naruto appeared to black out from the punch, or he just finally had had enough as he was out cold. Sasuke-kun picked up Naruto, slinging his one arm around his shoulder and gripping him around his middle. "Let's go."</p><p>I started walking until I heard Sasuke-kun's voice call me from some distance away. "Sakura! You're going the wrong way."</p><p>Oh. Was I?</p><p>Sasuke-kun trudged back over to me, at a loss of what to do as he only had one arm and it was currently occupied with Naruto. "Take my sleeve." I quickly grabbed a hold of it like it was an agreement to our engagement. "Don't you dare let go of me, Sakura. Not until I find a place for us to stay tonight."</p><p>I grinned at him dopily, letting him lead us to parts unknown. Outside, it was cold and dark so I huddled against Sasuke-kun, under Naruto's comatose arm for warmth. I was making it more difficult for Sasuke-kun to walk, but he didn't say anything.</p><p>The hand that wasn't holding tightly to Sasuke-kun's sleeve ran over his chest instead. I was having trouble walking so it made sense to hold onto Sasuke-kun with both hands. I wasn't expecting his chest to be as solid as it was, so I did it again in awe. Sasuke-kun frowned at me. His stomach couldn't be as hard, but I decided to check anyway. My hand traveled lower and through the loose fabric, I found that his stomach muscles were even firmer. The next moment I went for his crotch. Sasuke-kun had been unable to do much about all of this, as his arm was full, but at the moment I had grabbed the front of his pants, he let Naruto drop unceremoniously onto the ground in order to grab my wrist in a panic.</p><p>"What the <em>hell</em>?"</p><p>I blinked innocently at him. He grimaced, gripping my wrist too tightly and I whimpered from the pain. He flung my hand away.</p><p>"Keep you hands to yourself," he growled at me. I stared at my palm, like I had been unaware of what I had been doing myself.</p><p>"There has to be a decent inn around here somewhere," Sasuke-kun murmured, almost like it was an apology for being so rough with me. He picked up Naruto from the ground and resumed his carrying.</p><p>"Sakura-chaaaaaan..." Naruto groggily said, nuzzling his face into Sasuke-kun's neck. "You smell nice."</p><p>"It's me, Dobe."</p><p>Naruto cracked open an eye, before snickering. "Sasukeeeeeh...! Why you carrying me? You smell like a girl..."</p><p>"Sasuke-kun doesn't smell like a girl! He smells handsome," I said.</p><p>"Smells like a pretty girl to me."</p><p>"Maybe he just uses nice shampoo. You should try it sometime."</p><p>"I use shampoo...!"</p><p>"Oh my god, you two just shut up!" Sasuke-kun complained. I frowned, tightening my grip on Sasuke-kun's sleeve and using his weight every now and then to keep from falling.</p><p>"Wait... Sasuke. No, there's a problem. I never went to the bathroom..." Naruto murmured.</p><p>"Are you kidding me?! You were just in one!"</p><p>"I didn't get to go... on account... of being molested."</p><p>I halted with a stomp of my foot. "Molested?! You dragged that woman into the bathroom yourself!"</p><p>Naruto gave me a bleary eyed, evil grin. "She touched... my cock... on her own free will. I didn't even ask."</p><p>Anger roared through my body and for two seconds I didn't even know how to react. Then I was attacking Naruto with a series of slaps.</p><p>"Sakura! Stop it!" Sasuke-kun complained as my vicious hitting was causing him to become off balanced. "I told you not to let go of my sleeve."</p><p>Realizing I had broken the precious connection between Sasuke-kun and I, I snatched up the abandoned sleeve in a hurry, though I still gave Naruto a few more extra smacks with my free hand.</p><p>"I'ma pee on you, Sasukeeeeh..."</p><p>"<em>Hold </em>on! Okay, Sakura this way." Sasuke-kun led us to a dark alleyway. He peered into it, letting out a quick, quiet, apprehensive, "Hello?" probably worried that there were hookers lurking about, or maybe even a mugger. Though a mugger wouldn't have responded. He turned to me. "You stay here. Keep watch and make sure no one comes."</p><p>"But I can't stay here! I can't let go of this!" I held up his sleeve like it was the only thing that was keeping the world turning. "Naruto will probably try to take advantage of you too. That's what he does!"</p><p>Sasuke-kun gave me a flat look, Naruto's head lolling over, eyes closed and mouth open. "Naruto's not going to take advantage of me. Just let go and stay here. We'll be back in a minute."</p><p>I shook my head. "No! No! No! You can't leave me out here in the dark and cold. Please! Don't leave me alone. What if an enemy ninja comes! I can't control my chakra good. I'm too fuzzy!"</p><p>"Sakura, I'm sure you will be fine. And I don't want you to attack anyone. Just shout out if you see someone coming."</p><p>"I can't! I can't!"</p><p>Sasuke-kun sighed irritably. "I'll kiss you again if you do it."</p><p>My face blanked before going into the biggest grin I could manage. "Okay Sasuke-kun!" I let go of his sleeve and spun around to do my look out, though I did have to catch myself on the stone wall of the building to keep from meeting the ground.</p><p>I heard Sasuke-kun grumble as he walked away from me. Slyly I turned back in the direction of the boys curious. Sasuke-kun tried to lean Naruto's other side against the wall.</p><p>"Naruto, you need to stand in order to do this."</p><p>Naruto responded incoherently. Sasuke-kun cursed under his breath. I used the wall to help lead myself back over to them. "You need help," I said.</p><p>"I told you to stand guard!" Sasuke-kun said angrily when he realized I was right behind them.</p><p>I snickered, finding this situation funny. "The both of you ... with one arm... are so hopeless right now. Just... I'll hold him up. You do the rest." Leaning on the wall, I threaded my right arm underneath Naruto's right armpit, allowing Sasuke-kun to free himself. Naruto leaned heavily against me.</p><p>"Sakura-chan. Don't look. You're not allowed to look."</p><p>"I'm not looking! My eyes are closed." I turned my head to settle it behind Naruto's, hearing Sasuke-kun fumbling with Naruto's fly with his one hand. It shouldn't have been too hard. It was already open.</p><p>"I'm kidding. You can look if you want."</p><p>"No thanks."</p><p>My cheeks started to burn as I finally heard Naruto relieving himself. He chuckled.</p><p>"Stop laughing!" Sasuke-kun snapped at Naruto. "If I get any of this on me, you're dead."</p><p>"Sasuke's... touching my dick..."</p><p>"I'm about to leave you here."</p><p>"Nah... 's fine. 'cause we're like brothers, right? You and Sakura-chan... I'm just like a little brother to the the two of you."</p><p>Neither of us responded.</p><p>Naruto peed for a very long time. The three of us stood there silent. I wondered if either of them felt as uncomfortable as I did. Naruto, probably not. I wasn't even aware if he was still conscious.</p><p>Sasuke-kun announced that we were done here and zipped up Naruto.</p><p>"Sasuke-kun," I said, nudging Naruto's head to make sure he was asleep. "My kiss..."</p><p>"Shit, I forgot about that. Later, okay?"</p><p>"No! Now!"</p><p>"I'm holding Naruto, and you didn't even keep your promise to stand guard!" I let go of Naruto myself, allowing Sasuke to carry him, before walking around to face the both of them. Before Sasuke-kun could say anything, I cupped his face and kissed him. His lips pushed against mine, but then he was pulling away.</p><p>"No, more!"</p><p>Reclaiming his mouth, I felt it open, deepening the kiss. I wasn't sure if he was participating so much all of sudden because he<em> liked</em> it, was just frustrated, or thought it would appease me quicker. Unfortunately it was just making me want it more.</p><p>I moaned.</p><p>He moved his body so that I was suddenly pinned to the wall, his arm still around Naruto. His hard frame was pressed over me, making my entire body ache. His tongue touching mine was like tasting lightning itself, hot, sparking, almost bitter. It was gone too soon.</p><p>He pulled away and we resumed our search for an inn, me complying only because my eyelids felt like they were being dragged down with cement. My arousal was making me even more sleepy, especially since the heat and center of it had left my mouth. Now I just wanted to sleep. Most of my weight was against Sasuke-kun. All of Naruto's weight was also against Sasuke-kun. It was amazing we were able to get anywhere.</p><p>Sasuke-kun led us to a bench, throwing Naruto onto it, and guiding me more gently to sit against him. I cuddled up against Naruto because he was warm.</p><p>"I see an inn," Sasuke-kun explained. "You two stay here while I get a key. It shouldn't take long."</p><p>"Why you always leavin' us Sasuke-kun?" I complained.</p><p>"I'm leaving to get you guys a bed."</p><p>Naruto, who kept going back and forth from being awake giggled. "Bed..."</p><p>Sasuke-kun unlatched my fingers from his sleeve with his now free hand and I hardly noticed. "Stay here."</p><p>I wrapped both arms around Naruto, head against his chest and let my eyes close. "Sakura-chan..." he murmured.</p><p>I made a noise because I was too tired to speak.</p><p>"'M sorry..."</p><p>"For what?"</p><p>"Don't 'member. Less no fight no more."</p><p>"Kay."</p><p>I fell asleep. I'm not sure how long. It felt for only an instant. I was awoken by a warm hand on my shoulder. I didn't know who's it was until he started speaking. "They won't rent me a room," Sasuke-kun said.</p><p>"Why?" I asked groggily and sleepily.</p><p>He sighed. "Because I'm an Uchiha."</p><p>"Wha?!" I exclaimed so loudly that Naruto snorted awake.</p><p>"Wha!? Wha happened?!"</p><p>"They won't let us have a room because he's Uchiha."</p><p>Naruto shot forward, causing me to slip off of him. I would have fallen off the bench and face first into the ground if Sasuke-kun hadn't caught me.</p><p>"I'M UZU...<em>maki!</em>" Naruto tried to force out. "I'm gonna go in der, and tell those fucks..." He got up and started walking toward the inn.</p><p>"Wait Naruto. We can just go to a different-" but it was too late as Naruto was already inside. I ran after him, leaving Sasuke-kun in the cold. After pushing open the door, I kept running until I collided with Naruto's body. He caught the front desk so that the both of us didn't crash onto the floor. We both were laughing hysterically until Naruto must have remembered that we were on a mission here.</p><p>"Whoa, no Sak'ra-chan. Where's Teme?</p><p>"Teme who?" I pretended not to know, trying to fix my hair while leaning heavily against the desk.</p><p>"There is no teme!" Naruto declared turning to the man behind the desk who was watching us quite startled. "'I'M UZUMAKI 'RUTO!" he shouted. " an' deman' a room...!" He fished around in his pants pocket before finding Kakashi-sensei's credit card. "I have thisss!" He slammed the card onto the desk.</p><p>The man picked it up apprehensively. He look at the card, to Naruto and then to me.</p><p>Naruto slapped his arm over my back. "Dis is ma wife... Sak'ru-chan... There is no teme. But... we need three beds... 'cause we like to... to switch... or somethin'." I nodded my head as if Naruto wasn't saying something completely dumb.</p><p>"We have one single bed available, but that's all. There are no three bedrooms, and extra <em>friends</em> aren't allowed to be sneaked in. The one bedroom rate for two people is 6,300 yen. No exceptions."</p><p>"Friends...?" Naruto pulled me closer roughly. "Dis... is ma honeymoon. We don't wan' no teme <em>bastards</em> to get in between our <em>love!</em>" I rolled my eyes. "Dis my wife..." he stated again.</p><p>"That card's gonna work, right?" I asked.</p><p>The man slid the card through the reader with a frown. "It appears so..."</p><p>"We'll take it!" Naruto declared.</p><p>The man handed over a room key. "Room 106."</p><p>"Come, ma wife..." Naruto started leading me away. "We gonna make sweet looove..." I could see Sasuke-kun still standing outside through the glass door. He was frowning at us, but Sasuke-kun was always frowning. I held up the room key to show him that we had it.</p><p>Naruto and I walked further down the hall, out of sight of the innkeeper but still in view of Sasuke-kun. We walked past a plotted plant and within a second, the plotted plant was Sasuke-kun.</p><p>Naruto giggled. "We fucking Ninja... still wanna beat dat fucker up."</p><p>"It doesn't matter. We got a key. Let's go." Sasuke-kun started leading the way because we were walking too slowly. With Naruto still stumbling, Sasuke-kun quickly turned around to grab him. We made it to the 106 and I tried to stick the key in, but was having trouble. Sasuke-kun "tsk"ed, leaning Naruto to the wall where he fell to the ground anyway, and grabbed the key from my hand. "I'd like to get to bed tonight, Sakura." His eyes narrowed once he opened the door. "Dobe, you only got one bed?"</p><p>""s... ma... honeymoon." Sasuke-kun rolled his eyes, grabbed Naruto's jacket and threw him in.</p><p>"Sakura, you take the bed."</p><p>I was already diving head first into it. "I'm soo... sleepy..." I rolled over onto my back, gazing at Sasuke-kun lazily who was staring at me with eyes I couldn't read. I thought maybe he was wishing he had a bed. "Sasuke-kun where is everyone else gonna sleep?"</p><p>He pointed to Naruto who was already comatose on the ground, snoring loudly. "The floor. Naruto doesn't mind, see?"</p><p>"But that's not fair to you! Two people can fit on the bed." Sasuke-kun stared at me for such a long time I didn't think he was going to respond.</p><p>"I'll take the floor. I want to make sure Naruto doesn't throw up and drown by accident." As soon as he said that, Naruto made a hacking noise within his snoring and Sasuke-kun quickly kicked him to turn him over with a grimace. I made a face too.</p><p>"Oh. Oh alright." I shivered. "The bed's cold Sasuke-kun."</p><p>"It'll get warmer."</p><p>I tried to pull out the comforter but didn't seem to have the strength. Instead I tried to take off my bra but couldn't reach or remember how to get to the latch underneath my shirt. Exhausted, I gave up and whined, "Sasuke-kun... I can't take off my bra..."</p><p>Sasuke-kun had been leaning down to Naruto to take off his jacket but his head shot up to me like I had said something alarming. "What do you mean you can't take it off?"</p><p>"I can't ... reach it..."</p><p>"Then leave it on."</p><p>"It's uncomfortable."</p><p>"What do you want me to do about it?!"</p><p>"Take it off...!" I pushed up my own jacket and shirt, clawing at my back.</p><p>"Hold on!" Sasuke-kun quickly said, probably worried that I was going to start striping in front of him. He went around me, sitting on the bed as he looked at my bare back. "How does it come off?"</p><p>"Hook."</p><p>I felt his knuckles on my skin as he unlatched the hook. It made me shiver. He turned quickly away from me as I pulled the armbands down and removed the article of clothing, letting the shirt and jacket fall back into place. I finally was able to pull free a corner of the blanket and let my jacket fall from my shoulders.</p><p>"Sasuke-kun..."</p><p>"Now what?"</p><p>"Can I have just one more? As a good night kiss."</p><p>"No Sakura."</p><p>"Please...? I jus'... I won't ask ever again. I promise. Tomorrow, I'll stop. Tomorrow. Then you can take care of Naruto."</p><p>Sasuke-kun came back, and without looking at me he fixed the comforter, blanket and sheets, gathered my legs to take off my shoes, (which I completely forgot I still had on) and tucked me in. He tried to get my arms under the covers too but I kept lifting them up to place my hands on his arm, his shoulders or his face.</p><p>Without a word, he leaned slowly over me to give me a chaste kiss on the lips, just like in all the stories with the prince and the princess. My hands encircled his face, feeling his cheeks, his jaw, his ears and his neck. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer and Sasuke-kun had no choice but to let his weight fall on top of me. He tried to catch himself with his arm, but I curved my body up to erase any space that could be in between us.</p><p>He pressed his mouth hard against mine making me breathless and pulled away before I could gain the sense to make him stay. "Goodnight Sakura."</p><p>Then he left me again to tend to Naruto. Sasuke-kun had always belonged to Naruto. The night was almost over, and as I fell asleep, I thought my existence would go with it. I was strangely satisfied with that thought.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry. This is pretty porn-y.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I cracked open my eyes to see glowing red numbers.</p><p>3:07</p><p>I knew that it wasn't my clock, and I stared at it longer, trying to decipher what time 3:07 actually was. I had assumed I was on a mission, because otherwise I'd be home. I probably was supposed to be waking up at an ungodly hour. It couldn't be 3:07 pm. It was so dark. Should I be awake now?</p><p>My stomach gave a lurch. Oh, was I sick. Why was I so sick? What happened?</p><p>Memories started to come back to me as I realized no, I wasn't on a mission and that this was supposed to be some sort of vacation. A vacation that went wrong as we never met up with Kakashi-sensei and we were now who knew where. I checked the floor to make sure Naruto and Sasuke-kun were indeed still there. Seeing their backs gave me some relief, but that eroded slightly noting their position. Sasuke-kun's body was spooning around Naruto's, arm over him like a blanket. I had never seen Sasuke-kun so tender and protective.</p><p>God they were in love. It made me want to throw up even more.</p><p>I was pretty sure I molested Sasuke-kun earlier, and forced him to kiss me, several times. And who knew what embarrassing things I could have said? And how did Naruto feel? He had seen it all happen, hadn't he? That was why he went to the bathroom with that whorish waitress.</p><p>I was the worst friend ever. I kind of wanted Sasuke-kun to never ever have to look at me again. Naruto would forgive me. He always forgave me. But I definitely needed to somehow redeemed myself to him. I didn't know how, and that didn't matter at the moment because I was five seconds from vomiting. I crawled out of the suffocating bed, and did my best to tiptoed about the two bodies so as not to wake them.</p><p>Once in the bathroom I hastily turned on the light and threw open the lid of the toilet with a bang, for I nearly didn't make it.</p><p>I threw up with absolute misery for several lurches, hugging the ceramic bowl. If this was karma, I deserved it. When I thought it had subsided, I tried standing. On the sink counter were the packs that Naruto and I had brought with us. I didn't remember bringing them to the room. Sasuke-kun must have been carrying them for us. With a sigh, I opened mine to look for my toothbrush.</p><p>My eyes were squinted from the bright light of the bathroom, and the room was still slightly spinning. A part of me wondered if I was still drunk. It was entirely possible. After rinsing my mouth some, I drank some water. As I brushed my teeth, I brought my other hand up to my head, using my chakra to try to relieve my pounding headache. I looked like shit in the mirror, so I let my eyes close until I was done brushing my teeth.</p><p>I turned off the light and was about to leave the bathroom when I almost ran into Sasuke-kun. I gave a startled shout. "Sasuke-kun!" I didn't really want to see him now. I was too embarrassed about what had happened last night. I didn't even know what to say. I should probably apologize. Yes, that was it, but it hurt to speak.</p><p>Sasuke-kun wasn't looking directly at me, though his body was preventing me from leaving the bathroom fully. A smirk graced his features. Whatever he was thinking about must have been amusing. His eyes turned to me. "So, are you always like that when you're drunk? Is that what Naruto meant?"</p><p>I turned red. I hoped that Sasuke-kun couldn't see it in the dim moonlight, but he was an elite Uchiha. He probably could see anything. "I'm sorry." Finally. I said it. "I was unaware of my actions." Sasuke-kun leaned to one side of the doorway. I took the opportunity to push past him. "Excuse me." Sasuke-kun turned his body to follow my movements. "How's Naruto," I asked as I walked around the unconscious body to the bed.</p><p>"Not dead."</p><p>"I wouldn't think so. You can go back to taking care of him. I'm fine now."</p><p>"He's fine."</p><p>I caught Sasuke-kun's eyes. "I mean you can go back to sleep with him." The statement made it clear that I had seen Sasuke-kun's arm around Naruto. "You looked so cozy next to him a minute ago."</p><p>"I'm not one of Naruto's silly groupies. I was keeping him on his side so he wouldn't choke on his own vomit."</p><p>"Yeah, okay, then what are you Sasuke-kun?" I asked having enough of his denial and getting straight to the point. "To Naruto, what are you?"</p><p>"What kind of question is that?"</p><p>"A pretty simple one! Are you just friends?"</p><p>"Naruto said so."</p><p>"Did he? Are you?"</p><p>Sasuke-kun stared at me for a long time before answering me. "You know how Naruto is. I can't control his emotions or actions."</p><p>"So what are you saying?"</p><p>Sasuke-kun growled in frustration. "Obviously...!" He flung his arm in Naruto's direction.</p><p>"Obviously what!?"</p><p>"I don't even know, Sakura! I don't understand it! I didn't ask for any of this. The both of you. You two. I don't understand either of you, so I don't know. I don't know how to answer your questions. I'm not asking you questions so maybe you should just shut up."</p><p>I clenched my teeth. "Are you not asking questions because you're so polite and good all of a sudden? Because you've never been that, Sasuke!"</p><p>Sasuke-kun narrowed his eyes.</p><p>"You didn't ask, but I'm going to tell you anyway because being ignorant just makes everything worse. Naruto is attracted... like <em>sexually </em>attracted to the both of us." Sasuke-kun made a face and turned away from me like he didn't want to hear it, though I knew he had already known. "So there's that issue. The second issue is that both Naruto and I <em>want </em>you, which I'm pretty sure has been quite clear to you for a while. And now, the third piece of information that needs to be addressed is that <em>you</em> want Naruto in return, so thinking about this problem logically, the right thing to do is allow the two of you to be together, since it's the only relationship that has mutual affection."</p><p>"Stop with this ridiculous bullshit! I don't have the patience to deal with it a moment longer!" Sasuke-kun's voice was getting rather loud, which I wasn't used to so it kept me quiet. "What makes you think you have any possible idea about what I want? You don't know me at all." It was true. I didn't know Sasuke-kun. "Honestly, Naruto doesn't know a thing about me either. The both of you are idiots who are infatuated with me for no good reason! Like, what is it about me that you two keep throwing away anything you can think of, for me!? I've never done a single thing for either of you. In fact, I've tried to hurt you. I've tried to kill you, over and over again. I... <em>Especially</em> Naruto. I wanted him dead. I wanted him dead so badly."</p><p>He was getting too upset. The slight change of tone in his normal voice was something I seldom heard. He was good at sounding neutral. The only time I really heard it waiver was when he was angry and about to fight, so it put me on edge, just incase Sasuke-kun really did start to get violent again."Sasuke-kun," I said in a quiet steady voice. I wasn't sure how well I could console him. Consoling Sasuke-kun was Naruto's specialty. "We care about you. You're our friend."</p><p>"Why? How?"</p><p>"It just is. You just are! I don't know."</p><p>"I've been trying to give myself an explanation. Like with you, it was easier because you thought I was someone I wasn't. You only saw my face when we were kids. But now I don't understand. You're older than twelve. You've had to have met others who were attractive, or had status or were good in ninjutsu. Now I'm just a ex criminal with one arm and have nothing going for me."</p><p>"Sasuke-kun, you only having one arm doesn't make you less attractive. Do you really-"</p><p>"I didn't say that!" he snapped. "I'm saying it doesn't make sense, and that you must have really not grown up if you still think you're in love with me."</p><p>I stared at him with dead eyes. I had given up on the idea of Sasuke-kun ever loving me in return. But it hurt that he didn't have faith in my love. At this point I didn't have any more tears to cry though.</p><p>"And him." Sasuke-kun pointed at Naruto. "It makes even less sense. I'm not some damsel for him to save. I'm not his brother. I've never even really acted like his friend before. Why does he want... I don't understand. The both of you must just be retarded. Neither of you actually care about me. You're just obsessed."</p><p>My eyes flashed angrily at him. "Maybe you're right about me, Sasuke-kun. I'm just a silly girl right? But Naruto... How can for even a <em>second </em>you ever doubt him? Sasuke, your head was on several wanted lists. People wanted you dead. The Land of Lighting demanded that we give you up or they were going to declare war on us. And you know what? Konoha agreed, just like that" I snapped my fingers. "With hardly giving it a second thought. Everyone was ready to have you executed. Even me. Me, who was supposed to love you no matter what. But Naruto, Naruto wasn't going to hand you over. He let some kunoichi beat him black and blue for hours because he wouldn't give any information about you over. He begged the Rakage for your pardon, on his knees, in the snow with tears in his eyes! He had a panic attack when he heard you attacked the kage, because he was scared he wasn't going to be able to get you out of it. He searched for you for <em>three</em> years! He cried over you a million times. He'd sit at home, depressed for days sometimes, not doing anything because he was starting to doubt himself, that he could ever get to you home again, but then he pulled himself right back, tried again harder and harder! He trusted you with his life even though you flat out declared you intended to kill him. And then he helped convince the five nations to pass by your execution! Naruto was the only one who never gave up on you!"</p><p>"That's because Naruto's a fool," Sasuke-kun said, seemingly not at all impressed by Naruto's devotion to him.</p><p>"You're right, he's a fool. And because he's a fool, he's not good about knowing what love is or how to tell people his feelings with words. He does dumb things and makes mistakes. He flirts with every woman he knows and makes pervy comments and is generally stupid... But there's no doubt that he loves you more than anyone could love anything, and maybe he can only be that way because he is a fool." Sasuke-kun was staring at me without comment. "You're a fucked up bastard, Sasuke, but I know you're trying to get better. That's why you surrendered to Konoha. You did it for Naruto. So... just be with him. Just let him... <em>fix</em> you. You know he'd do anything for you. You could trust him with everything."</p><p>"Naruto can't fix me, and I don't want to <em>be</em> with him in anyway."</p><p>"You're lying."</p><p>"I don't know what fantasy you've come up with in your silly little girl romance world, but there's no way I'd want to be romantically involved with Naruto."</p><p>"For fuck's sake-"</p><p>"Everything you've pointed out or seen, or <em>think </em>you've seen, has an actual logical explanation, or it's just Naruto acting dumb like always."</p><p>"Don't tell me you aren't at least sexually attracted to him."</p><p>Sasuke-kun's eyes got dangerous. "Don't you even-"</p><p>"Naruto came to my window several months back," I said. The sentence seemed off topic, but I saw Sasuke-kun's expression change slightly. "He was pretty messed up. He had a broken arm and was beat up real good." Sasuke-kun shut his mouth and stared. "But the strangest thing was that he was covered in<em> bite</em> marks and the last thing he could remember was stumbling upon you."</p><p>"And what are you implying?"</p><p>I stood up from the bed and walked closer over to Sasuke. "You were still pretty crazy during that time, you could have been capable of doing anything." I noticed Sasuke-kun's chest start to rise and fall a little faster than before.</p><p>"You don't know what happened."</p><p>"I don't," I admitted. "But I'm a medical Ninja, so I have a pretty good idea."</p><p>Sasuke-kun clenched his teeth. "You weren't there! You wouldn't understand!"</p><p>"Understand what? What happened?"</p><p>"Nothing."</p><p>"Naruto doesn't remember any of it," I said. "But it's pretty obvious what happened to him, and even though he's an idiot, he's not that much of an idiot."</p><p>"Fuck," Sasuke swore softly, bringing his arm up to rest his elbow against the wall, his hand covering his face.</p><p>"Sasuke-kun... did you ... <em>rape </em>Naruto?"</p><p>Sasuke-kun spun around to me <em>so</em> fast, his arm raised and hand fisted. I covered my head and in a panic, cowered. When no blow came, I peeked through my fingers. Sasuke-kun looked appaled by my reaction, realizing that I had fully believed that he was going to hit me. "Holy hell, Sakura," he muttered, before walking away from me and into the bathroom. "It's all fucked."</p><p>I followed him but kept some distance. I didn't enter the bathroom. I just stared at Sasuke-kun's back as he leaned on the counter of the sink. I couldn't see his reflection in the mirror. His hair was in the way.</p><p>"Naruto... wouldn't blame you. He doesn't blame you."</p><p>"I didn't <em>rape</em> Naruto," Sasuke-kun spat into the sink. "You weren't there, so you have no right to assume anything."</p><p>"Sasuke-kun... Naruto had a broken arm. His face was swelled up like a balloon-"</p><p>"He started it!"</p><p>Sasuke-kun saw my disapproving expression in the mirror.</p><p>"Listen. Naruto is an actual good person. I'm not trying to say he's bad, or make you think differently of him. He's actually one of the least selfish people I know, but he knows how to push my buttons and he does it on purpose to get the type of reaction he wants. He's manipulative. And I'm not saying I don't deserve it because I do it right back, but it's not... healthy. He wouldn't stop. I didn't know how to get him to stop."</p><p>"Stop what?"</p><p>"Get him <em>off </em>of me!"</p><p>"Wait, are you saying... Naruto attacked <em>you</em>? Did he <em>force </em>you?"</p><p>Sasuke-kun spun around to me, waving his arm. "We force each other! It's a constant battle of forcing the other person to do what we want. It's always been like that, Sakura, just Naruto is getting increasingly better at it because he doesn't care about throwing low blows anymore. Not after what I've already did to him. We just keep being worse to each other."</p><p>"I'm not... following anymore."</p><p>"He pretended to be you!"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Just forget it. It happened once. That night happened once. Just forget about it. It doesn't matter how we feel about the other. It's no good. It's not right. It's not the right thing to do. If anything is the right thing to do, it's for you to be with him. He loved you first."</p><p>I threw my head back and laughed. It startled Sasuke-kun. After the alarming sound ceased from my throat I said, "I've been emotionally abusing Naruto since the day I met him. And don't even get me started on the physical abuse. So what if Naruto won't lay a hand on me? At least with you he has the balls to defend himself."</p><p>Sasuke-kun shook his head. "No it's different. You've never... You've never attempted to kill him before. You're a medic. You're the complete opposite of me. You fix him. I blow his arm up," Sasuke-kun said humorlessly.</p><p>I bit my bottom lip. "I can't. I don't love him, and he knows it. It wouldn't work."</p><p>"Bullshit. I see the way you look at him Sakura. It's the same way you used to look at me. And even now, the way you look at me isn't the same. It doesn't have the same intensity."</p><p>"I don't look at Naruto like anything!"</p><p>"He makes you laugh. You're comfortable around him. He makes you feel safe. You can have fun. It doesn't matter what you two are doing. You two are close. You two are way closer than you used to be."</p><p>"He's one of my best friends. Of course we're close! I don't have <em>feelings </em>for him! He's the one that keeps hitting on me!"</p><p>"And you slept with him."</p><p>That shut me up for a moment. "H-how do you know that...?"</p><p>"Naruto told me."</p><p>"Dammit!" I stomped my foot and looked away, shaking my head a little. I had trusted Naruto not to tell anyone. Or I had just assumed he wouldn't. I felt slightly betrayed by this.</p><p>"He told me because he felt the need to apologize, if that makes you feel any better."</p><p>"No not really."</p><p>"So why did you do it?"</p><p>"Excuse me?"</p><p>"Why'd you sleep with him?" Sasuke-kun repeated angrily. "It was because you were feeling weak and he was there, right? So what difference does it make if you're the one with Naruto or if it's me?"</p><p>"I didn't just do it because I was feeling weak. I did it because I felt <em>sorry</em> for him! See? That's so much more worse. Thinking that Naruto was so pathetic that he wasn't ever gonna get laid, holding him so lowly in my mind, that disrespect, that's the kind of thing that hurts Naruto. That hurts him so much more than being punched in the face. That's not kindness. Sure, weakness let me get seduced the second time, but the first time was entirely out of pity!"</p><p>"Second time? How many times did you sleep with him!?"</p><p>Oops. "What does it matter? I'm sorry okay? I have no intention in sleeping with Naruto again so you seriously don't need to see me as a threat."</p><p>"I'm just surprised. I thought you were so in love with me you wouldn't have even thought about it."</p><p>"Well I guess my fake immature love for you just couldn't hold me back from Naruto's suave charms!" I was being super sarcastic, but it didn't seem Sasuke-kun was getting that.</p><p>"Maybe it does make sense. Since that's the kind of person you've turned into."</p><p>"What do you mean by that?!"</p><p>"You'd probably would do anyone. You'd certainly kiss anyone."</p><p>My cheeks and ears burned with anger. "If you're talking about Ino and I, that was supposed to be a joke!"</p><p>"The reason doesn't matter to you, does it? Pity, a mere joke, who cares why? Who else have you been with? Lee? God knows you'd pity him, at least you seemed to back at the chunnin exams. But it's been a long five years, hasn't it? There could be so many new possibilities now. Like that pasty replacement of me. Or Kakashi."</p><p>"Hold up a minute! Where did Kakashi even come from? I mean, Lee and Sai are closer in age to me, and Lee obviously likes me, not that I have been with <em>either </em>of them in <em>any</em>way, but Kakashi? He's our former sensei and current Hokage."</p><p>"You were holding him awfully close during the whole end battle with Kaguya!"</p><p>"Because I was keeping him from <em>dying</em>! I'm the medic! That's what I have to do. I have to tend to the wounded!"</p><p>"A lot of people get wounded in war."</p><p>"Wait a second... Sasuke-kun, why are you saying all of this? Are you jealous?"</p><p>There was a long pause. "No!"</p><p>"Then what the hell? I can understand why you'd be upset about Naruto since the both of us... have had <em>relations</em> with him, but why the hell would you care who <em>I</em> was with?"</p><p>"Because it isn't classy," Sasuke-kun stated.</p><p>"I didn't give your boyfriend a STD is that's what you're worried about. I can't see what else it could be. I know you're not attracted to me. You're freaking gay."</p><p>Sasuke threw his arm into the air. "I'm not gay Sakura! I've been kissing you the <em>entire</em> night!"</p><p>I blinked. "<em>I've</em>... been kissing <em>you</em>."</p><p>Sasuke-kun rolled his eyes. "Not really, but whatever."</p><p>"You mean... you <em>liked </em>kissing me?"</p><p>"You happen to be prettier than Naruto."</p><p>"Well I would <em>hope</em> so! But Sasuke-kun, you've never been attracted to girls before."</p><p>"I'm not attracted to boys either! Naruto's ... I don't know... different ... He somehow makes it not weird, but it's not like Naruto was my first choice! It just somehow happened!"</p><p>"Then what are you saying!?"</p><p>"What do you mean, what am I saying!?"</p><p>"Like... you want to have sex with women? With<em> me</em>?! If that was true why didn't you sleep in the bed with me. You'd rather be with Naruto!"</p><p>"Sakura, you were trashed! I'm not a great person, but I wouldn't stoop<em> that </em>low. Do you know how hard it was for me to pull away when you were... when you were <em>like </em>that?"</p><p>"Who else?" I asked in a trembling voice.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"What other girls are you attracted to. Prove to me you're not gay!"</p><p>"Are you being serious right now?"</p><p>I had been so sure that Sasuke-kun had been gay. Now that I realized that he hadn't been all this time, he had five years of being attracted to anyone. They didn't have to be female either. Naruto wasn't. Anyone could be my competition. I was jealous of everyone. "That red haired woman you were with. The healer. She was infatuated with you. She wouldn't stop talking about you when we held her prisoner. Who was she...? Was she your-"</p><p>"Don't talk about Karin," Sasuke-kun snapped.</p><p>"Your lover?" I asked anyway.</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Did you find <em>her</em> attractive?"</p><p>"Not really."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"I don't know."</p><p>"But me...? You think I'm...?"</p><p>"You're pretty, Sakura. Why are you acting so weird about this?"</p><p>I almost threw my head back and wept. He complimented me so rarely that even something as simple and mundane seemed extraordinary.</p><p>"Who else do you think is pretty?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Do you think Ino's pretty?"</p><p>"What? I don't know. Not really." Sasuke-kun seemed confused by my rapid questions but I was sick and tired of never knowing what people were feeling and thinking.</p><p>"Would you have sex with her?"</p><p>"Of course not!"</p><p>"But you'd have sex with me? If I was sober."</p><p>"You made me think about it," Sasuke-kun stated, and it was probably the sexiest statement I had ever heard him say. "I'm not saying I would. Just that you made me think about it. There's a million and one reasons why it would be a bad idea."</p><p>I knew the first of those millions of reasons had everything to do with Naruto. It didn't really matter to me though. I was still ecstatic beyond belief. "Who have you... thought about doing it with. Naruto doesn't count," I said quickly.</p><p>"No one."</p><p>"You've never-?"</p><p>"No. You?" he asked, before adding, "Besides Naruto of course."</p><p>"No, just... just Naruto."</p><p>"Fine."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"I'm fine with that."</p><p>I looked around the room shyly. "Sasuke-kun... I'm sober now..."</p><p>"Are you?" he asked, narrowing his eyes at me suspiciously. "How can I know that for sure? You're still acting kind of moronic."</p><p>"What?!"</p><p>Maybe I was still a little drunk, but I thought it was mostly hangover. Was I really so unaware of how I was behaving? I thought I was acting decently normal. Shocked, but who wouldn't be?</p><p>"Or maybe, you just don't want to have sex with me because you really are gay, but you're a closet gay and you're trying to cover it up!"</p><p>"This is what I mean about you still acting moronic."</p><p>"Sober Sakura wouldn't care if you had sex with drunk Sakura, because sober Sakura wouldn't think she would have been able to have sex with you at all!"</p><p>"You are still drunk."</p><p>I threw my arms up in the air. "Whatever! I'm hardly still drunk."</p><p>"Just go back to sleep. Hopefully... you'll forget this conversation."</p><p>I walked away from him and sat haughtily on the bed. "I can't go to sleep now, you realize."</p><p>"Just try."</p><p>I fell to my back with a loud groan. I stretched, arching my back before rolling my head to peer at Sasuke-kun.</p><p>"Stop that."</p><p>"Stop what?"</p><p>"Doing whatever you're doing." He walked towards me and for the briefest of moments, I thought it was to make all my dreams come true. Then he turned away from me and sunk back to the floor with Naruto. His position was similar to how he had been, but there was now a few inches keeping their bodies separate.</p><p>"Fine," I grumped. "Choose Naruto over me. It would make sense."</p><p>"I'm not choosing Naruto over you. I <em>hate</em> Naruto." Lies. "You be with Naruto."</p><p>"I hate Naruto too! I hate Naruto more! I hated Naruto first!"</p><p>Sasuke-kun shrugged his shoulders. "Good for you." I kicked his shoulder from the bed. He turned his head to frown at me. "Leave it alone. The fairest thing is if no one had anybody."</p><p>"Naruto already got to have me, and then you. What's not fair is that we never had a chance," I mumbled into the pillow.</p><p>"Because it wasn't meant to be."</p><p>"But why!?"</p><p>"I already talked to Naruto about this, Sakura." He turned back away from me. "Naruto said he would be okay if you chose me over him, but he was only trying to hide his true feelings, which we all know he's terrible at. Nothing is going to be fair. We've agreed that neither of us is going to seriously go after you."</p><p>"So you two got to discuss this without me? I don't get a say? I'm not an object. I'm not the last piece of cake! It's one thing if you two where a couple. I'd back off then. But you're saying you're not, and that you're somewhat<em> attracted</em> to me. That's the closest I've ever been. I'm not gonna be able to just let this go!"</p><p>"You shouldn't even want me anymore, Sakura. The things I've done to you aren't forgivable."</p><p>"I don't want to have sex with you because I forgive you," I said nastily. Sasuke-kun shifted on the ground. "I want to have sex with you because, for some strange reason, you managed to stay attractive even though you've went through hell and back. I want to have sex with you because I'm seventeen and my body is still misfiring hormones. Misfiring hormones means I'm emotional and jealous and want to stake some sort of claim over you before some other girl gets a chance, and because Naruto's already had you. But for all the crap you did, all the times you broke my heart, made me cry, worry and made me believe you were gonna destroy the world, I don't forgive you for."</p><p>"Good. At least... that explanation makes sense."</p><p>Tears formed at the edges of my eyes. I stared at the red numbered clock, watching as the vision became blurry. "You left me unconscious on a bench in the middle of the night, after I poured my heart out for you. I could have saved you. If you had let me, we could have helped you before you got so bad." Before he hurt so many people. Before he killed. I had been so happy that Sasuke-kun returned to us. I was walking on air to learn that he wouldn't be executed, that he was released from prison. But now I was starting to wonder what type of life Sasuke-kun would have. I was still having trouble not thinking of Sasuke-kun as the crazy, mad, hopeless monster. He seemed okay now. He seemed to be himself, but there was no way his fragile mind could have just healed itself after several months in a dark prison. If anything, it should have made it worse. He couldn't be of sane mind now, but he would never let himself see physiological help. He wouldn't allow himself to be loved by Naruto or me. He was still difficult and stuborn. He was scorn by people everywhere. How was he ever going to be happy again? He never would be.</p><p>"I would have been miserable if I had stayed."</p><p>"At least you would have been safe!"</p><p>"Safe and unhappy. Then I just would have snapped inside the village."</p><p>I gave a frustrated cry. "Fine. Then it would have been best if you had just died." Because at least then he wouldn't be suffering all the time.</p><p>Sasuke-kun didn't answer right away and when he did it was barely audible. "... I know."</p><p>I hadn't meant to say that.</p><p>I turned my face into the pillow, a shuttering breath escaping me even though I was doing my best not to cry. I heard Sasuke-kun get up. "Do you want me to go?"</p><p>"What do you mean?" I mumbled, though I already knew what he meant.</p><p>"Disappear."</p><p>I pushed myself up from the bed, tear plastered face pointed at Sasuke-kun. "Really, Sasuke? What about Naruto?"</p><p>"He'll get over it. With time, he'll get over it. Three years wasn't long enough, but five years, and being with you, he'll be fine."</p><p>"Sasuke-kun, why are you always <em>leaving </em>us?! Why!?"</p><p>"Because it's the only solution I know of!" Sasuke-kun shouted. "This wasn't supposed to happen. I never wanted you to get mixed up in my life. Nothing good ever comes from it. You and Naruto were supposed to stay in Konoha. You guys belong there. You're happy there. I had never planned on seeing you again. I thought Konoha was a fantastical morally good village as a kid and you guys would be alright there. When I realized that the entire world was fucked I... I don't know... I didn't want you in it. I tried to kill you. Sakura, I tried to kill you." A chill went down my back as he kept repeating it like I was too stupid to know of what he had tried to do to me.</p><p>"Sasuke-kun..."</p><p>"What's the point of living this life if you're just so fucking miserable all the time? I make you fucking miserable! I deserve to suffer. That's why I haven't killed myself off yet. I need to atone for my sins. But you, you don't, and as long as I'm around you you're going to be miserable."</p><p>"You always leaving is precisely the reason why I'm always miserable, Sasuke-kun! You think if you leave, Naruto and I are just gonna get together and be happy without you? Naruto would be heartbroken yet again. He'll obsess over you, <em>again.</em> I can't just replace you! Naruto might be fond of me, but he'd put you first. When I asked him to forget you, he refused. You're the reason why Naruto and I never got together. And then I'll be alone, <em>again. </em>At least if you were here... I could watch over you, and make sure you're okay. I'm always scared... that you're just gonna be dead one day. There's so many ways... to have yourself killed. You say you're not going to because you deserve to be miserable but... eventually you're not going to be strong enough to endure it any longer. You're going to break."</p><p>"Then maybe I'm supposed to break."</p><p>"What the hell is <em>wrong</em> with you?! Why do you keep hurting us!? I hate you so much!" I rammed my fist on his chest, but there was no power behind it. His body was warm.</p><p>"I don't know," Sasuke-kun answered. "I don't know how to fix it."</p><p>"Then let us fix it."</p><p>"You <em>can't</em>," and that's when I heard Sasuke-kun's voice crack. I raised myself up to my knees, hands hovering over him, like I would have been healing him with my ninjutsu, but my hands bore no chakra. My fingertips rested on either side of his face, my eyes wide as I looked at him, noticing every little detail of his expression that I could see in the dark. His guard was down. I could see in him, the sad, lost boy that didn't know what he was doing. I blinked several times to clear my vision in the dim light.</p><p>"You don't know me very well, Sasuke-kun," I said, now pushing chakra through my fingertips, finding every small tense muscle in his head and forcing them to relax. I few of them spazzed under his skin, still defiant, but with a slight extra push, they too complied. "That's another thing I hate about you. You not <em>knowing </em>me." He shivered, before a long sigh escaped his lips. I savored the smell and feel of it on my face. I worked my hands down, fingers hovering over his neck and shoulders, but not touching. Only my chakra touched him. He made a small groan and rested his head against my shoulder. I smiled. "You have the most tense muscles I've ever come across." I found another knot. He hissed at me.</p><p>"Stop it."</p><p>"The problem isn't that I can't fix you. It's that you won't let me." He didn't answer. He just pressed his face deeper into my neck. His one arm encircled around me. I found satisfaction to Sasuke-kun leaning into me. Even though he was a dickhead and I hated him, right now he was mine.</p><p>"Sakura..."</p><p>"Hmm?"</p><p>"I... I'm not the right person for you." I realized Sasuke-kun was going to speak more words that would hurt me, more words that would twist and stab through my flesh with the sharpness of logic behind them. "I'm not able to love you." I put my concentration on the feeling of him in my arms, ignoring what he was saying. I was too engrossed with his back. "I most likely never will be able to." <em>Ignore, it Sakura. You already knew that.</em> "I don't want to ask you for this."</p><p>"Ask me what?"</p><p>He took in a breath. "I think I need... you to still care. Even though I can't give you anything in return. Even if it's not the same as it used to be or if you fall in love someone else. I think I just need you to care about me, no matter what happens. Then I'll be okay."</p><p>My heart was beating so hard. What was he saying? "Sasuke-kun, you have love. You've always had love. Naruto loves you-"</p><p>"It can't be Naruto. Naruto's such a fool. It wouldn't matter what I did. He would always feel the same. He wouldn't have killed me. Even if that was the only option. Even if there was no saving me. He wouldn't be able to do it. But you, you don't ignore logic just because you don't like it. You're aware of it. You're the only person that I don't think is a fool. If you stopped caring about me, then I would know for sure that I was a lost cause."</p><p>I wanted to tell Sasuke-kun that I was the biggest of fools. I wanted to tell him that I had even attempted to stop caring about him and failed, just as a fool would do. It was all just chance, my inability to get over it, that kept me caring. If that was the only thing keeping Sasuke-kun together, I wondered if he knew how fragile that ways of thinking actually was.</p><p>I pulled away to look at his face, hurt and need written all over it. Then I cupped his cheeks and kissed him, like a declaration that I would always love him. Sasuke-kun was eager. Sasuke-kun wanted it. I could tell by the way he was suddenly gripping my hair, almost painfully tight but sending me into chills regardless. I had been kissing Sasuke-kun all night but was too drunk to be able to record the feeling well. Now I was noticing that his lips were slightly chapped, rough to the touch, that the skin at his jaw wasn't as soft and smooth as I imagined it. He participated in the kiss with me, but he didn't move around as frantically and as passionate as I-in a hope that my sporadic, hasty movements would start up a hidden passion in Sasuke-kun that I had never seen before.</p><p>"Stop," I heard him say into my mouth, but stop what I wasn't quiet sure. If it was to stop kissing him, he probably shouldn't be kissing me back. His grip squeezed in my hair. His breath hit my lips and I stopped moving. I stopped breathing. Only Sasuke-kun breathed. "We can't," he told me.</p><p>I swallowed. "We've already been kissing. One more kiss wouldn't make a difference." Even almost before I was finished speaking, Sasuke-kun was already pushing his mouth back against mine.</p><p>Throughout my young life with being in love with Sasuke-kun, I constantly revolved around foolish naivety, and trying to become a better, stronger person. I was a fool, but I was aware I was a fool. I identified my flaws and treated them before such weaknesses effected my performance as a shinobi. Or at least I sincerely tried to. Though I had all theses dreams and fantasies that one day, Sasuke-kun would become my prince and give me the love I had always wanted, I came to terms that it would never happen. Sometimes, thinking this way, I let myself imagine the perfect life with him. It didn't matter how unlikely it was. It wasn't going to happen anyway. It was alright for me to picture a kind, romantic Sasuke-kun, because I was aware that I was only doing such a thing to make myself feel good. I knew the difference between realty and imagination at this point. This was also the same train of thought that led me to thinking on giving up on the real Sasuke-kun. I would always love my memory of him, my sweet adaptation, but I was ready to accept that destroying the real Sasuke-kun was the right thing to do. That was my version of me being a stronger person, as weak and silly as it was.</p><p>Me being the fool was when I was trying to consider the real Sasuke-kun. His rudeness and cruelty towards me, were over analyzed until I could convince myself that maybe Sasuke-kun felt for me too. He was rude because he couldn't handle his feelings toward me. He was cruel only in order to protect me from something he thought was crueler, which was of course himself. This type of Sasuke-kun that I had imagined was based off of real parts of him. He was the one that I was afraid of, but desired anyway, the one that made me feel hot. I romanticized thinking about the fragile way he handled himself, how it was so easy for him to break. I was thrilled with the idea that his protecting of me from himself could slip into something violent and terrible. He knew he was dark and dangerous and any tiny mistake could make him lose control and consume me. I wanted to be consumed. I wanted to be forced, taken in such a violent way that it would end me. Maybe because I thought my existence would end after, and then my misery of being in love with him would stop. Maybe because I was in love with the beauty of that pain. Or maybe it was only because this is what I thought Sasuke-kun was, and I would be in love with him no matter what he was.</p><p>The real Sasuke-kun wasn't nearly as rough as I had imagined him to be. He wasn't in anyway inpatient to claim me as his. He had made me wait for him for years. Of course he could wait longer. He did keep a tight grip on my hair. He still held me down the way I thought he would, because Sasuke-kun had to be in control. He always had to be in control. Maybe he was moving so slowly just to prove to me that he could.</p><p>I whimpered against him. His kisses were dry, warm, soft. I wasn't used to this. I was used to Naruto, who took any chance he could to slobber against me. I thought all men were like that, like they needed their spit inside women, thinking it would make females more attracted to them. Sasuke-kun did not slobber. If anything, I was the messy one, trying to get Sasuke-kun to open up for me, to let me inside. His mouth seemed to move expertly to evade me. Even though his movements were so slow, I couldn't keep up. Eventually I tasted just the slight bit inside Sasuke-kun's lip. Sasuke-kun made a small growl, his face scrunching up in what could appear as distaste, but I think he was only noting my impatience. He shouldn't be surprised. He wasn't.</p><p>He let go of my hair, hand trailing down to my shoulder, and up my arm, most likely to try to dislodge the death grip I had on the back of his shirt. I took the opportunity to take advantage of him having only one arm. With my weight I pulled him closer to me. He had to let go in order to catch his fall on the mattress, not wanting to put his weight on me. I wanted it on me though, no matter how heavy he was. I could take it. I could take all of him. I was strong enough.</p><p>Sasuke-kun looked me in the eyes. Whatever he saw caused him to swallow and something wild inside me made me tear the shirt in my hands. I tilted my head to catch his mouth, biting his lip like he had done to me at the restaurant. His breath quickened. I wasn't sure if I was breathing at all. He pushed into me, because it was the only way to keep me still. He kissed me so hard that my head was pushed into the sheets and I couldn't move. I tried to open my mouth anyway, and it was like Sasuke-kun just fell into it. He shoved my tongue over with his, grazing it as he moved it sensually and deep. I groaned into his kiss, losing all the air in my lungs but I didn't need it anymore. My hips rolled up to meet his, and he pressed back down on me like he was accepting my invitation. I almost cried out in pure need because oh, how I could feel him. The buzzing in my head was only out done by the electricity shooting from every nerve that touched him, every taste and smell of him. My core burned as he pressed harder into me, so hot that it ache to almost numbness. With a twitch of my own hips, the numbness seared into pleasure and I did cry out. My legs wrapped around him and my arms clutched him. I wanted Sasuke-kun to tear into me.</p><p>I felt something brush against my knee but in my ecstasy I didn't take much notice of it. Sasuke-kun suddenly became heavier, and I gush of air escaped his mouth. Are eyes locked at the sudden weight, his wide, and a bead of color threatened to pool around his iris.</p><p>"What are you doing to Sakura-chan, Sasuke?" The voice made my racing heart stop.</p><p>Naruto's head was right besides Sasuke-kun's, his body draped over Sasuke-kun's back. Naruto still smelled strongly of alcohol and though his glazed eyes were on me, I wasn't sure if he was actually seeing me.</p><p>There had been a quiet stillness in the night, but once Naruto was awake there was a sudden energy that had roared to life. It was familiar yet I found myself fearful of it.</p><p>"You're dreaming, Naruto," Sasuke-kun said, regaining himself. "Go back to sleep."</p><p>Naruto lifted his head up, but kept his weight on Sasuke-kun. I wasn't sure if he had attempted to get off or not. "If this is a dream..." he started, before head falling back on Sasuke-kun's shoulder and whispering, "Why am I not in the middle...?"</p><p>Sasuke-kun didn't know how to respond to that question.</p><p>"No. This isn't a dream. It's a god fucking damn nightmare." He pushed himself off of Sasuke-kun then, stumbling backwards until he collided with a wall. "It's okay though. I knew this would happen. I'll just... I'll just leave. You guys deserve the privacy. Sasuke needs to revive his clan, right? So go a head and get to work. Make a bunch of little Uchiha babies."</p><p>"Naruto, where the hell are you gonna go!?" I cried out.</p><p>"I'll just sleep... in the hallway..."</p><p>With a growl, Sasuke-kun got off of me and the bed. He walked over to Naruto who was still trying to make out where the door was. He grabbed Naruto's sleeve.</p><p>"Let go bastard!"</p><p>"We weren't going to do anything more," Sasuke-kun said. "I was about to stop it." I swallowed. Was he? Were we?</p><p>Naruto hit Sasuke-kun across the face so hard that I saw some blood fly from the impact. I gave a short scream, hands coming up to my mouth, too bewildered to think straight.</p><p>"Don't fucking lie to me! I'm not stupid!"</p><p>Sasuke-kun straightened his head, turning it slowly back to Naruto's direction but did nothing more.</p><p>"Get the hell out of my way!" Naruto pushed Sasuke-kun, and Sasuke-kun let him, stumbling backward, but once Naruto took another step toward the door, Sasuke-kun grabbed him again and yanked him away. Naruto used the momentum to spin around and punch Sasuke-kun in the jaw. Sasuke-kun's back hit the wall and Naruto continued to hit him, Sasuke-kun's arms falling to his sides in submission. "You were gonna fuck her! You were gonna fuck her while I was out cold on the damn floor right next to you! At least have the decency to do it when I'm not <em>right</em> fucking there!"</p><p>"Naruto!" I shouted, pushing my weak legs to the ground. "Stop it!"</p><p>Naruto turned to me and winced so severely he had to turn away. And then he ignored me as he hit Sasuke-kun again. "You guys cockblock me but get the fuck each other, right?"</p><p>"Naruto!" But before I could interfere anymore Sasuke-kun blocked Naruto's next attack, lifting both their arms. The sound of their hands moving against skin rushed through the air. There was a smack of flesh as Sasuke brought down his blow to alter Naruto's movement, grabbing higher on the bicep and pulling him to switch their positions. Naruto was too surprised that he didn't see Sasuke-kun go to grab for his throat next, lifting him up off his feet and against the wall. Naruto tried to swing but his arm wasn't quite long enough and it soon redirected itself to clutch at Sasuke-kun's wrist.</p><p>"You're not leaving," Sasuke-kun stated. "Sakura and I didn't have sex. We didn't do anything you didn't do in the bathroom with that woman. Get over it."</p><p>Naruto kicked out, unable to speak. Sasuke-kun continued to hold Naruto in the death grip, Naruto's face turning a dark shade of purple.</p><p>"Sasuke-kun! What are you doing?! He can't breathe!" Sasuke-kun had been so gentle when kissing me earlier, and now he was holding Naruto in such an unforgiving way. What was going on? How was this the same person?</p><p>Naruto's eyes cracked open to glower at Sasuke-kun, defiance written in their making. He lifted both his legs, catching them around Sasuke-kun's middle and finding some stability so he was no longer choking from his own weight. Yet it did nothing to loosen Sasuke-kun's grip. What it did do was make a rather erotic picture, their hips in contact and Naruto gasping for breath. Naruto shifting his weight was too much for Sasuke-kun, and he slipped to the floor, dragging Sasuke-kun with him.</p><p>The two supposedly elite ninja then began to roll around on the ground, trying to be the one on top. "You're both being stupid!" I hissed. Naruto got to his feet only to be sent to the ground again, landing on the back of his head when his missing arm failed to break his fall. I saw him hit the floor with his stump in frustration before resuming his attack. Someone hit the the bed stand. The clock fell. I walked around them, not able to tell who was who anymore. I even kicked out at them. "Stop it you two! You're going to damage the room!"</p><p>Their ignoring Sakura skills were on par tonight. Oh, how it made me mad.</p><p>"You said you didn't even want her!" Naruto was now crying out since his throat had been able to get free. "You don't even care about her like I do!"</p><p>"<em>You</em> said you wanted me to be with her!"</p><p>"I <em>lied!</em> I have <em>feelings</em>! <em>You </em>can't lie! You don't have <em>feelings! </em>There's no need to lie!"</p><p>"Stop ignoring me!" I punched, aimed at the mass of stupidly, but wined up missing in the dark and hitting the bed stand instead which of course splintered. "Shit!"</p><p>Suddenly the entire room filled with smoke. At first I wasn't sure who's doing it was. Neither Sasuke-kun or Naruto should be able to weave signs, but I must have missed Naruto borrowing Sasuke-kun's finger to complete the jutsu, because the room was filled with shadow clones. He didn't stick with just a few either. Most likely knowing it was the only chance he had to make any, the entire room was filled to the brim, making it almost impossible to even move.</p><p>I fell against one, my wild flailing and kicking poofing it away. Sasuke-kun twisted in a complicated movement, his legs landing on the shoulders of another shadow clone. With a crack, the neck broke and that clone too poofed away. Sasuke-kun maneuvered around several more Narutos with the grace I've only ever seen him use, but even he would be overrun soon in such a tiny room. At least if we wanted to keep the room intact. I grabbed the closest Naruto and pulled him away from the fray, hitting him into a poof.</p><p>"Naruto stop being unreasonable right now!" POOF! I destroyed another clone. "The both of us are willing to talk about this!" At least I was, and even if Sasuke-kun wasn't willing I was going to force him.</p><p>I grabbed a Naruto, slammed him against the wall and proceeded to punch him out of existence, but instead of the poof of smoke I was expecting, I was met with a splatter of blood. "Shit! You're the real one!" I exclaimed, half horrified since I hadn't actually intended to hurt Naruto that much. The punch had sent Naruto to the ground, and I was dragged with him from my grip on the front of his shirt. I reached up to heal the damage I had caused to Naruto's face. He was sniffling, from blood or crying I wasn't sure, but the movement made it hard to heal the broken nose.</p><p>"Naruto," I said quietly. "I'm sorry. We're sorry, okay? We didn't mean to hurt you. Let's talk about this, alright? Let me be part of the conversation this time around." Naruto made a noise that I could only assume was his agreement. "But in order to do this, you need to call off your shadow clones."</p><p>Naruto shook his head. "I can't. I can't. You'll disappear."</p><p>"Naruto, what are you talking about?"</p><p>He stared up at me as I healed his face, eyes reflecting the green light of my chakra. He gazed up at me like I was the most amazing thing he had ever seen. "You're not real."</p><p>He reached up his hand to touch my face, but I took it with my other hand to bring it back down. "Yes I am."</p><p>"No, you're just one of my shadow clones..."</p><p>"Naruto, if I was one of your shadow clones, how could I be using my ninjutsu to heal your face?!"</p><p>"I've gotten... really good... at it. Fuck, I'm getting too good at it. You seem so real. You even feel real to me."</p><p>I hit him lightly in the stomach. "You're still intoxicated!" I didn't want to think about why Naruto would be making shadow clones of me in the first place.</p><p>"I'm sorry fake Sakura-chan. I'm sorry." Naruto raised his hand again to my head but I didn't bother to bring it down this time. "I saw you... and him... kissing. For real, you were actually kissing and I can't... Not if it's for real. I'm too afraid. I'm too scared." Naruto continued to ramble. "I met this cute girl, at the restaurant. She was a waitress there. I knew I could make her like me, and she<em> really</em> was cute. I was so hard, watching that bastard and you, it made me so horny, but when I was with her... I couldn't do it..."</p><p>"Naruto..."</p><p>"The real Sakura-chan came to save me. For a moment I thought her and I were going to do it in the bathroom..." His mouth twitched up into a grin. "but nah... not real Sakura-chan." He moved his fingertips over the skin of my cheek. "Man, I made you so soft."</p><p>"Naruto, you didn't make me! I'm not a shadow clone!"</p><p>I watched Naruto's wide wet eyes. It made me less annoyed with him. His face, so hopeless and desperate made me drag him to my chest. Naruto let out a sob. It was wrong. It wasn't mercy. But it felt good to hold Naruto, to make him happy for that one moment before my cruelty ultimately destroyed him. I pulled away. "We'll talk, okay? With Sasuke-kun."</p><p>His arm wrapped around my neck. "With the bastard..." His grip tightened.</p><p>I heard Sasuke-kun curse and turned my head to see him tackled down by three Narutos. It seemed he had dispatched the other ones. One had his arm, one laid on his legs, and the third sat on his chest, arm raised up to strike. "Naruto..." The real Naruto was leaning into me, softly crying. I watched the clone Naruto bring his arm down only to miss Sasuke-kun's face, hitting the floor besides Sasue-kun's head. The shadow clone was crying too. All the shadow clones where.</p><p>"Get <em>off </em>of me!" Sasuke-kun growled, but the clone Naruto just lowered his face to Sasuke-kun's, wiping his tears on him as Sasuke-kun tried to crane his head away.</p><p>"Seriously Naruto, you need too get a hold of yourself. Release your clones."</p><p>Naruto lifted his head only so much to press his wet eyes to my throat. "Not yet. Let me pretend just a little longer. Then I won't ever do this to myself again. I promise."</p><p>I threw Naruto off of me, pushing his shoulders until his head clunked against the wall that we sat at the foot of. "Naruto, for the last time. I'm real. See?" I bit my thumb, letting my teeth tear the callous that had developed from so much abuse. A drop of blood formed. "If I was a clone I would have vanished from the slightest bit of damage."</p><p>Naruto paled. I had never seen him go so white like that. Only once. When I saw him dead. He stared at me with such wide eyes I thought they were going to fall out of his head. He took a deep breath. "Oh fuck. Don't kill me," he said as he pressed into the wall, trying to get as far away as he could.</p><p>"Oh, I'm going to kill you," I said.</p><p>Then there was a change in his demeanor. "Okay. Go a head. Punish me." The sobbing that Naruto had been doing vanished when he realized he was with a real person. It was like he hadn't been crying at all, though I could still see the evidence on his eyelashes.</p><p>I made a face. "I know you're not sober, so I'm going to forgive you for bringing that waitress into the bathroom, and I'm going to forgive you for hitting Sasuke-kun, but only if you release your shadow clones."</p><p>"You were drinking too," Naruto said immaturely back, walls placed over his emotions. I wasn't used to him doing that to me. He usually only saved that attitude for Sasuke-kun. "So I'm gonna forgive <em>you</em> for seducing Sasuke better than me. And because you're hot."</p><p>I scoffed. "Naruto," I said warningly.</p><p>"I also forgive you for cock blocking me, even though you won't have sex with me again either. I know you don't want me, but I guess you don't want me to be with anyone else as well. Is that it? I forgive you for that, if that's it. I forgive you for not wanting me to be with Sasuke..." His shoulders started to slump as he let go of his anger, relaxing with every sentence he gave. "You deserve to be upset with me." Then his shoulders tightened as he became angry yet again, his blue eyes burning and distant. "But I don't forgive Sasuke. He never lies. He never lies and he <em>lied.</em>"</p><p>"That's why we need to all talk about this as friends, all three of us!"</p><p>Naruto refocused his eyes on me, not at all paying attention to what I was saying. "Why'd you cock blocked me Sakura-chan?"</p><p>"You already said you didn't really want her anyway!"</p><p>"But why you care so much?"</p><p>"Because!"</p><p>"Are you jealous?"</p><p>"For the love of-!" I was interrupted by a muffled cry, and turned my head to see the clone Naruto's mouth on Sasuke-kun's. Sasuke-kun was still trying to turn away, but the clone held his face in place. "Naruto stop it!"</p><p>"Doesn't feel good, does it?" I didn't turn to look at Naruto as he spoke. I just kept watching Sasuke-kun being held down against his will, but after a moment, I wasn't sure if Sasuke-kun was struggling anymore. Maybe he had simply given up. I couldn't tell if he was liking it or not.</p><p>"How does it make you feel? I'm honestly just curious. I mean, I think I know how you feel..."</p><p>How did it make me feel? I was trying so desperately to not let myself find out.</p><p>The clone rolled his hips into Sasuke-kun, and Sasuke-kun made a noise that was almost like a whimper, but it was hard for me to tell with the clone so attached to his mouth. I watched Sasuke-kun's jaw shift as the clone savagely moved lips, teeth and tongue against his. My heart was beating hard, lower muscles felt tight. I felt ... awkward? No that wasn't it. Uncomfortable?</p><p>"Does it turn you on at all, to watch two guys making out?" Naruto growled into my ear. I was going to say that Sasuke-kun was hardly participating, but that was before I saw the clone move his head to reposition it and Sasuke-kun moving his to keep the contact. They moved so well together. The both of them were beautiful. I wasn't one to not watch beautiful men if I had the chance, but... this was Sasuke-kun, the real Sasuke-kun. I had emotional feelings for him.</p><p>And Naruto...maybe I had emotional feelings for him too. And that's what made me uncomfortable.</p><p>Them kissing each other was much like any other battle Naruto and Sasuke-kun had, muscles moving, skin gleaming. With a yelp from the clone, he suddenly vanished, catching too much damage from Sasuke-kun's teeth.</p><p>Naruto hissed against my ear as the memories of the clone returned to him. "Sasuke..." he murmured with venom into my neck. And then he said to me, "I can taste you on him..."</p><p>Sasuke-kun seemed surprised when the clone vanished, and his eyes swept over to me and the real Naruto. I looked back in shock, unaware on how much Naruto was leaning into me. I was appalled with myself. I was just sitting here, watching, not at all trying to fix the situation like I should be doing. Sasuke-kun glared, before suddenly flinging one of the other Narutos from his arm. He kicked out too, but that Naruto stubbornly hung on.</p><p>Sasuke-kun's shirt had already been torn by me earlier. It was ripped even more from his fight with Naruto. A sheen of sweat had made his skin shine in the moonlight, each muscle within his chest glistening in its perfection.</p><p>He ripped the Naruto off his legs, kneeing him in the gut. The real Naruto beside me groaned, arm wrapping around my waist, breath hot against my ear. I felt myself start to sweat and goose bump at the same time. I didn't notice Naruto's hand on my thigh, not until it moved, his fingertips boldly grazing my crotch. The feeling of shock tickled my anger, but I was slow to react to it. Instead I felt my head go back to rest over Naruto's shoulder.</p><p>"I hate you."</p><p>"I know you hate me," Naruto said. "You're dreams were about to come true and I fucked it all up for you."</p><p>He did. Naruto got in the middle of it. He always did that. Even back when were were kids.</p><p>"You've always known how I felt about Sasuke-kun."</p><p>"Are we really still fighting over him? I offered to share." His thumb moved in slow circles through the fabric of my shorts.</p><p>"Hands <em>off</em>, Naruto! "</p><p>"Make me. Prove to me that you really hate me, because my dumb brain keeps thinking the opposite."</p><p>I turned my head, hiding my face in Naruto's thick blond hair. My mouth at his ear I growled, "You're about to lose your only hand."</p><p>"Sasuke took my other one. You can have this one Sakura-chan," There was no trace of fear in the statement and it wasn't because he thought I wouldn't carry out my threat. He was whole heartedly ready to lose it.</p><p>Naruto's movements were slow but he easily found his way through my shorts and underwear, like he had memorized it from last time. I did nothing to stop him. In fact I leaned back into his body,  allowing him better access. </p><p>He exhaled a breath. "You were so wet for him..."</p><p>I cried out when his fingers entered me, raising myself to my knees like I could escape, but Naruto just moved with me. It was involuntary when my hips decided to strike back down.</p><p>The cry I made alerted Sasuke-kun. He had managed to get to his feet during this time, spinning around and trying to destroy the last remaining Naruto who was clinging to his ripped clothes and evading attacks. I had a glimpse of Sasuke-kun's marvelous backside, as his pants were slipping from the clone's constant grip on them. Sasuke-kun's head turned toward me for only an instant. Then he lost his balance and landed hard on his back.</p><p>Naruto's fingers moved slowly back and forth inside me, and I moved to feed the friction, not caring anymore if Sasuke-kun saw what was happening. Just fuck everything. Everything was already so messed up there wasn't anyway things could get any worse. One of my hands flew up to clutch at Naruto's hair, gripping it tight to either punish him for all of this or keep him there, I wasn't sure.</p><p>The clone Naruto ripped off Sasuke-kun's pants then, and Sasuke-kun took his eyes off of me to try to fight him off. My eyes widened as my attention went back to Sasuke-kun, watching as his erection was set free, slapping against his hard stomach from Naruto's vicious seizing of his pants. I stared, trying to understand what I was seeing, until the clone covered it all up with his mouth. Sasuke-kun let out a shout, his body convulsing.</p><p>The muscles of my walls tightened around Naruto's fingers and he murmured. I forced my eyes to stay open, wanting to see everything of Sasuke-kun's, even if he wasn't mine, even if he was Naruto's.</p><p>Sasuke-kun's hand first landed on Naruto's head, grazing it like he wasn't sure if he should try to push it away or grab onto it. Then his hand went to his own face, covering it, before biting his fist, the whole time Naruto pumping Sasuke-kun in and out of his mouth.</p><p>My breath was coming in and out as gasps, my hips moving rigorously against Naruto's hand in time of the clone's movements.</p><p>"Sakura-chan," Naruto said, voice heavy with lust.</p><p>I groaned. "If Sasuke-kun doesn't kill you first, I-" I stopped talking because Naruto suddenly pulled his hand away from me. I didn't think I could get any madder, but how <em>dare </em>he stop touching me? "What are you-?!"</p><p>Naruto moved his arm across me to reach his mouth, putting the fingers that were inside me between his lips and inhaling. My face started to heat up. "That's what... that's like?" he breathed.</p><p>Before I could answer, he removed his arm from me and scooted a little ways so he could gently push me down.</p><p>"I want to see something, Sakura-chan." He started to tug down my shorts. "Besides, I'm not being fair... I want to treat you equally."</p><p>The hell he was being fair. I don't know why I didn't know where he was going with this. I attempted to get up from when he pushed me down. He pulled my shorts and underwear all the way off. I closed my legs when I felt the open air after my bottoms were removed, but since I was too busy trying to get up, Naruto easily wormed his one arm and head in between my thighs. I was watching his hand, which landed on my knee. I was even thinking he might try to have sex with me, though his pants where still on and I would have kicked him in the balls before that happened. I had been watching him intently, but I still didn't see where his mouth was going until his head ducked down between my thighs.</p><p>Warm.</p><p>And wet.</p><p>I squealed.</p><p>I didn't know if the sound alerted Sasuke-kun because I was too busy screaming. My entire body tightened up as my brain tried to decipher what was going on. Naruto wasn't... oh my God he was... I could feel his tongue... moving against my...</p><p>"Sakura-chan... relax..." Naruto gave my leg a short squeeze. I had just about flattened Naruto's head in between my thighs. I was surprised he could speak. He pushed me a little more apart before that devious tongue was on me again. I tried to calm my breathing. I was gasping too fast. I didn't know what to do with my hands. Is this what Sasuke-kun felt like?</p><p>I turned my head to glance in his direction. Sasuke-kun currently had his hand fisted in Naruto's hair, thrusting forcefully into Naruto's throat. The clone had his hand and what was left of his missing arm against the floor, doing all it could to not be choked and suffocated. Sasuke-kun's face was drawn in furious concentration, eyebrows furred as he search desperately for satisfaction.</p><p>I quivered. Naruto moaned as he felt it, and then he inserted his tongue inside me. I tried to scream out but I was breathing so fast that I had no more air. I clawed the floor around me but there was nothing to hold onto. I felt his tongue move in and out, reaching as far as it could go. It still wasn't enough. I pressed myself against Naruto's face, like it would reach deeper into me. "Please," I mouthed without breath. Naruto couldn't hear it, but it didn't matter because I wasn't quite sure what I was begging for.</p><p>He pulled his tongue out, but before I could protest he replaced it with his fingers, his mouth returning to my core. His tongue flicked over me with the speed that he could only have ever gained from his characteristic of talking nonstop. My body spazzed from such intensity, thrusting against his fingers until I was crying out. My fingers finally found purchase in his hair. I screamed with every stroke he gave, stars obscuring my vision. I could sense nothing else now. My pleasure climbed and climbed until it was on top of the mountain, and then I leapt off the peek to fly. My hips lifted into the air as I came, whole body shaking from me holding myself together so tightly, and then I landed back on the ground with a hard thump. Naruto followed with me, lapping at me leisurely as I was still shuttering with every breath.</p><p>I pushed myself up on my elbows, locking eyes with Naruto as he lifted his head to look at me. It was then I realized how dangerous this situation was. I had never felt anything like that before, and it was Naruto that had supplied such pleasure. It was Naruto who had entire control of everything. And Naruto knew it. I could tell as Naruto gazed at me still licking his lips. This was what Sasuke-kun had meant.</p><p>Both Sasuke-kun and I were stubborn people. And we didn't like that.</p><p>I gathered myself, Naruto's eyes following every movement I made. He was breathing hard, trembling even, like it was he that had just came into someone else's mouth. He seemed to flinch when my hands landed on him, still half expecting me to carry out all the threats I had made to him. Instead I was tugging on his shirt as I rose to my feet.</p><p>He let out a breath when he realized what I was doing and let the piece of fabric slip free from his head and arm. I stepped out of my shorts and underwear that were piled at my feet, almost tripping before I grabbed at Naruto again, hauling him to a stand. I needed him to be naked. Completely naked. It was his turn to be shamed.</p><p>My legs were still weak, and I felt my knees threaten to buckle, but we weren't too far away from the bed, and I caught the edge of the mattress, sitting as I attempted to undo the fly of Naruto's pants with shaking hands. Naruto tried to help, but I swatted his unhelpful one hand away. I pulled open the button, the zipper splitting. Yanking the pants down, Naruto's underwear still clung to his hips, caught on something that was rather hard and stiff. The small delay in what I was doing made me pause for a moment. I almost had a complete thought, but then I felt Naruto try to touch my head. I smacked his hand away yet again, glaring at his heated face and open mouth. His questioning eyes sparkled in the dim light and it made me mad, so I smacked him across the face.</p><p>"Sakura-chan, w-w-what-"</p><p>"What? I thought you liked that. You let Sasuke-kun hit you."</p><p>"Fuck that's hot. Fuck, you're so hot." I attacked him before he could say anything more, sinking my teeth into his right pectoral. He groaned. I clawed at his skin, not caring when my nails went over a nipple and Naruto yelped. Naruto couldn't be in control. He was a moron. I was in control. It gave me the courage to finally pull on the waistband of his underwear and drag them down.</p><p>The scent of it was strong with arousal. Naruto had acquired a sheen of sweat from his fight with Sasuke-kun. He was thick and big, but maybe I could manage just the tip of it in my mouth and use my hand for the rest of it. I remembered Naruto shoving all of Sasuke-kun in his throat without fear, like he had done it before. I didn't want to be outdone by him. I never wanted to be outdone by anybody ever again.</p><p>I stared at the obstacle, one fist around its base. Naruto stared at me, arm slightly raised and at the ready. Maybe he was thinking that I might rip it off. Instead I ran my tongue up the length.</p><p>"Oh, shit!" His arm flung to me, grabbing onto the back of my shirt. I closed my mouth around the head, tasting the slit where a bead of precum had been produced. It was slightly bitter but it was gone before I could hate the taste of it.</p><p>Naruto had cried out when I put him in my mouth but I ignored him. Instead I heard a strange sound of escaping air, and opened my eyes to peer around Naruto's body. I saw the dissipating of smoke. Sasuke-kun laid on his back alone, looking shocked and surprised at the disappearing of the clone. That hadn't been Sasuke-kun's doing. Naruto had simply lost his concentration.</p><p>Naruto's knees were buckling. He let go of my shirt to catch himself on the bed. Him falling had him pulled out of my mouth. Naruto was breathing hard. I didn't know why my simple movement had effected him so much. Naruto had just been giving both Sasuke-kun and I head himself a few moments ago.</p><p>"Sakura-chan," he whined. My head was getting crushed by his weight so I reached around to grab him by the hips, pulling him onto the bed so he couldn't fall to the floor. His knees managed to the mattress, his body pushing me over and he somehow squirmed in between my legs. I gave up on continuing to blow him as we were becoming a tangle of limps. His weight was heavy against me as he used his arm to push up my shirt, hot large tongue running up my left breast before his mouth landed on mine. I could taste myself on him but there was nothing I could do to escape that kiss.</p><p>Naruto's kiss was everything that Sasuke-kun's wasn't, impatient, messy, sloppy and disgustingly satisfying. The both of us were sweating on the other. The tips of his hair felt cool, with drying perspiration against my heated skin. I could feel the length of him against my drenched insides. With a slow roll of his hips, the tip of him pressed against the opening. He slid into me without effort. The both of us groaned from the gratification is gave us.</p><p>It had been too long. Too long since he had been inside me. Over a year. Why had we waited so long? Why was this wrong?</p><p>Hot, wet, waves of pleasure consumed us with Naruto's heavy rocking. It felt so right, so good, that I forgot that Sasuke-kun had been laying cold on the floor.</p><p>He wasn't there for long.</p><p>Naruto was ripped away from my mouth, being held above me from his hair, throat exposed and his one arm reaching out to me like I could save him from the terror that was our beloved Sasuke-kun.</p><p>Sasuke-kun's fingers were dug so deeply, and his grip was so tight that Naruto was completely immobilized. His neck strained like Sasuke-kun threaten to tear his head right off. "I will make you regret-!" Sasuke-kun started, too furious to finish his sentence. Naruto huffed in either fear or excitement before him. Sasuke-kun's eyes shifted for half an instant to me before he continued his death glare at the side of Naruto's head. His eyes showed his bloodline in his furry, violent rage ready to punish the man he had in his grip. He seemed to calm down when he noticed me staring up at him, and he released Naruto's hair to slap his hand over Naruto's face instead. Naruto made a started yelp, Sasuke-kun's index and middle finger landing inside his open, gasping mouth. "Is this what you want?" Sasuke-kun growled, like it was a demeaning insult.</p><p>Naruto whined, closing his mouth around Sasuke-kun's fingers and sucking. My eyes widen as I watched Naruto completely submitting to Sasuke-kun, something I never thought he would do. With Naruto's head thrown back, one hand clutching at open air, I felt another surge of jealousy at the provocative image. Sasuke-kun wasn't going to take Naruto from me, not right after Naruto had already taken Sasuke-kun from me. Naruto was still in me, and I lifted my hips, feet planted on the mattress and rammed myself against him. He made a noise that sounded like a sob.</p><p>Sasuke-kun gave another quick glance at me after I had re-announced my presence. He pushed Naruto forward, Naruto scrambling to catch himself with his arm. I clutched his head, reclaiming what was mine with kisses. Naruto responded back, but was interrupted with a yelp.</p><p>"S-Sas- Wait-" And then he screamed. I ignored the sound and the reason why as I covered his mouth, devouring it, holding his head closely. Naruto ripped his mouth away from me. "Sasuke, you bastard! You call that prepor-" Sasuke-kun rammed into Naruto, driving him more into me. Another rather high pitched scream came from Naruto.</p><p>I caught Sasuke-kun staring at me. His eyes locked with mine as he gave another hard, unforgiving thrust. Naruto sobbed and I gasped, the entire bed moving a few inches. The next move Sasuke-kun made, I rose to meet him, us slamming against Naruto from either side. Sasuke-kun's hand landed on the back of Naruto's neck to stabilize himself. Naruto's elbow was dug into the mattress, his fingers entangled with the ends of my hair. His face was nuzzled into the crook of my neck, whimpering and crying into my skin. Sasuke-kun never took his gaze off of me.</p><p>I matched Sasuke-kun's pace perfectly, feeling myself falling over the edge again. I dug my nails hard into Naruto's back, drawing blood. Sasuke-kun closed his eyes for a moment, his lips brushing the abused skin, before he lapped the blood up. That murderous look of his kenki genkai was still in his eyes. A part of me wondered if this whole thing was a genjutsu that Sasuke-kun had cast, though why, didn't really make sense and I found myself not really caring. I came again. I let out a scream, riding out my pleasure against Naruto.</p><p>It became even more surreal as Sasuke-kun leaned past Naruto's shoulder to kiss me once.</p><p>I didn't care if this was real. A dream, or genjustu, I guiltily admitted to myself that this was the best night of my life.</p><p>"Fuck..." Naruto gasped, Sasuke-kun still pounding into him, and me more lazily rocking him with my hips. "I love... I love you..."</p><p>Both Sasuke-kun and I froze. It only lasted for a second, as Sasuke-kun quickly came to the decision to ignore it and try to distract Naruto by moving in him faster and harder. Sasuke-kun's frustration could be tasted in the air, but Naruto continued to ramble.</p><p>"I love you! I love you so much!"</p><p>
  <em>Shut up, shut up, shut up!</em>
</p><p>I grabbed Naruto's head and kissed him, not knowing why I hadn't thought of doing it when he first started speaking. Sasuke-kun didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to hear it.</p><p>Naruto kissed me back with purpose, seemingly more aware and more energized than he had been a few moments earlier, like his confession gave him a new found power. Naruto slammed into me, Sasuke-kun forced to be still to not conflict with Naruto's movements of rocked himself against the both of us.</p><p>I screamed out, overly sensitive and near another orgasm already.</p><p>"Dammit," Sasuke-kun hissed, hand lightly resting on Naruto to allow for the movements. "Finish already." He jerked a couple times against Naruto.</p><p>Naruto answered unintelligibly as I lost myself underneath him. I wasn't sure how much I could take. My heart was beating so fast. I needed a rest.</p><p>Sasuke-kun seized Naruto's hair again, yanking his head around to face him. At first I thought it was to kiss him, but Sasuke-kun initiating a kiss with Naruto was just a little too outrageous even for this genjutsu. Instead Sasuke-kun pressed his forehead against Naruto's, Sharingan spinning.</p><p>"Oh, shit, Sasuke..." Naruto grumbled before his blue eyes lost focus. Sasuke-kun shoved Naruto back over me, Naruto's hips jerking unevenly into mine with what sounded like a distressed cry. I felt him, hot shoots of burning fluid, emptying into me until there was nothing left. I came with him, almost painfully, as I accepted all of Naruto like dead weight, Sasuke-kun grunting on top of him.</p><p>I heard Sasuke-kun trying to catch his breath over the sound of mine. I closed my mouth and listened harder when I couldn't hear Naruto.</p><p>Sasuke-kun pulled Naruto off of me and shoved him off the bed and onto the ground. Then he got off the bed himself, leaving.</p><p>"Wha-what happened?! Is he okay?!"</p><p>"He's fine. He just past out."</p><p>I slid off the bed and onto the floor, checking to confirm that Naruto was actually alright. He was breathing deeply, eyes closed and seemingly asleep. I looked up to see where Sasuke-kun went and discovered he went to the bathroom. I followed.</p><p>"What did you do to him?"</p><p>"Nothing. I didn't expect him to pass out. He's still wasted." I heard Sasuke-kun turn on the shower.</p><p>I had wobbled at my first step and had to slow down before I reached the door of the bathroom. Sasuke-kun hadn't shut it all the way so I walked in. Blinking in the bright light, I found his tattered shirt on the floor, feeling sort of guilty that I had torn it first. What was he going to wear on the way back? Did he pack more? Did he own more?</p><p>I could see his silhouette behind the thin shower curtain. I had yet to see the full picture of him, of Sasuke-kun completely naked, but I wasn't just about to slide over the shower curtain now. That would be rather rude of me.</p><p>I should have left, but I hadn't peed at all the entire night, and now that I didn't have anything to distract me from this fact, I felt myself barley holding my bladder. Also, the remnants of what Naruto left behind were trailing down my legs.</p><p>"Sas-sasuke-kun? Can I used the toilet?"</p><p>I saw Sasuke-kun pause in his washing himself before saying, "I don't care."</p><p>Right, such a silly question. My shirt was still hanging around my neck and I removed the article of clothing before glancing at myself in the mirror. My face was flushed and hair was but a rats nest. I sat on the toilet. I flinched from a burn that happened once I started urinating. I didn't remember Naruto being rough, but perhaps I had been too aggressive. I sighed as I peed longer, not realizing how uncomfortable my bladder had been until it started shrinking.</p><p>I took a wad of toilet paper, trying to clean my legs as I sat on the toilet but even after I wiped them, it left behind a stickiness that wouldn't go away.</p><p>My eyes nervously went over to the shadow of Sasuke-kun. "I'll wait to flush after you're done," I said. "Just incase... you know it changes the temperature or something." Sasuke-kun didn't respond. "Um... how long are you going to be in there?"</p><p>"Why?! I'll flush the toilet!"</p><p>"Sorry! I just meant, because I kinda need a shower-"</p><p>"Then get in."</p><p>I held my breath for a heartbeat before I got up, closing the lid of the toilet and pushing aside the shower curtain. Sasuke-kun was facing away from me when I stepped in. "It's freezing!" I nearly slipped in my shock. It wasn't that I needed it hot. I've found myself having to bathe in some pretty cold lakes and streams before, but this was a real shower. We didn't <em>have</em> to be shivering our asses off, not that Sasuke-kun was shivering.</p><p>"Then go wait your turn!" Sasuke-kun snapped.</p><p>"No, this is fine. It's... refreshing..." I said between clattering teeth. I hugged my breasts more to keep warm than to be modest as Sasuke-kun was set on not looking at me anyway. I glanced at his butt since he couldn't see me. God, he was gorgeous. I stepped under the shower head to avoid to spray of cold water as best I could, looking around for soap or shampoo.</p><p>I found some and starting lathering my hair up in a hurry. This wasn't the sexy shower I had first imagined so it would be best to get it over as fast as possible. Sasuke-kun was slowly rubbing a washcloth over his shoulder. He hadn't moved on to a different area in a while. The silence was making me think.</p><p>"Naruto said-"</p><p>"I know."</p><p>"We just left him over there-"</p><p>"He's fine."</p><p>"Sasuke-kun..." I started at the back of his head, his wet black hair plastered down from the water. "Naruto confessed his-"</p><p>"He didn't know what he was saying, Sakura. He's been drinking all night."</p><p>"Even so, Naruto always means what he says! Maybe he wouldn't have said it... if the stuff that happened tonight didn't happen, but that doesn't mean he doesn't mean it!"</p><p>"So what!?"</p><p>"What do you mean, so what!? Do you have any idea how <em>hard</em> that is?! To confess your feelings? And then to be ignored like that... Like what you said didn't really mean anything..." I felt my face grow hot despite the cold water.</p><p>Sasuke-kun turned his head to me, expression still unforgiving. "I don't... I don't know. What the hell do you want me to do about it?"</p><p>"I... I don't know."</p><p>"If you don't want to be like me, then just go be with Naruto. Tell him you love him back. He'd be ecstatic." Sasuke-kun turned away from me again, washing the same shoulder.</p><p>"That's not going to do any good!" I shouted back to him.</p><p>"Why not?"</p><p>"Because I already told him and he didn't believe me!"</p><p>Sasuke-kun became still. "So you do love him..."</p><p>I didn't want to talk about this, about that time, or how hurt I felt that Naruto completely ignored my confession, just like Sasuke-kun did. I didn't want to remember those feelings.</p><p>"There's your mutual affection. That's why it was so easy for you to fuck him again."</p><p>"Hardly. Naruto loves you more than he loves me. And you fucked him too!"</p><p>Sasuke-kun continued to ignore the fact of his own participation. "He just confessed to you."</p><p>"He confessed to <em>you!</em>"</p><p>"You're being ridiculous!"</p><p>I thought for a moment, realizing that it hadn't been clear who Naruto had been talking to.</p><p>"He was looking at you when he said it."</p><p>"No he wasn't. His eyes were close. And you were the one that was..." My voice died in my throat at the glare he suddenly gave me. "We both had sex with Naruto," I stated. "He wants both of us. He <em>loves</em> both of us."</p><p>"Now do you understand how this is all stupid and Naruto doesn't know what the hell he says or does? He's drunk Sakura. He probably won't even remember tonight. It's like it never happened."</p><p>"Are you going to make Naruto forget again? Are you going to make me forget too?"</p><p>Sasuke-kun paused as he thought about it. "I don't know. It didn't really make me feel better last time. There isn't much of a point."</p><p>"Thank you," I said. Sasuke-kun flinched at that. I sighed, staring at his back. "You shouldn't have gotten those bandages wet," I said looking at the stump of his missing arm.</p><p>"If I take them off I can't put them back on."</p><p>"Then someone else can put them on for you," I said, like of course he shouldn't have to be doing it himself. "Here," I started to undo the bandage. "Theses need to be changed anyway. They're starting to smell bad." After I had gathered them up, I placed them on the corner where the tub met the wall.</p><p>I hadn't seen Sasuke-kun's healing process as much as Naruto's, and I didn't expect myself to be surprised that it wasn't as seamless like the Jinchurki's. There was still quite a bit of scar tissue that wasn't healed yet.</p><p>"Has this been hurting you Sasuke-kun?"</p><p>Sasuke-kun grunted which meant probably. I activated my chakra. "You don't have to keep doing that for me," he said. "It's not going to fix me."</p><p>I frowned, leaning my weight against him as I used my chakra. "I don't want you perfect. You beat up a little is kind of distinguished, you know?" I concentrated on nerve endings, dead flesh and chakra points. Sasuke-kun flinched at something I touched. I thought it best to try to take his mind off what I was doing, so I asked curiously, "What... did you do to him? To Naruto."</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"Just now, a few moments ago. You made him black out."</p><p>He sighed. "It was a genjutsu."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>I heard Sasuke-kun grit his teeth. "He's a freak. He could have gone on all night. I didn't think you'd appreciate that."</p><p>"I mean... I think I could have gained a second wind," I said blushing, somewhat embarrassed. A part of me didn't really want it to stop, though the pain in my groin begged to differ.</p><p>"What?" Sasuke-kun snapped.</p><p>"I'm just saying it seemed a bit extreme to ... knock him out."</p><p>"I didn't knock him out. It's a genjutsu. I said that already."</p><p>"What kind of genjustu...?"</p><p>"It makes time slow down for the person. You take your opponent's conscious to a secluded part of their mind where you have complete control of that place's universe. It's usually used as slow torture when you only have a short matter of time. I'm not very good at it. Itachi was better at using it. I don't use it very often because I've never been a fan of... well of torture..."</p><p>"So you're torturing Naruto?"</p><p>"No! It doesn't have to be used as torture. Naruto relived a different kind of memory. And he's not under it now. Like I said, I didn't expect him to black out."</p><p>"What did you show him?"</p><p>"That's none of your business," Sasuke-kun snapped.</p><p>"But you did it.. to make him..." I curled my toes. Sasuke-kun's genjutsu, had been quite efficient in getting to the means to the end. It was frightening and exciting to think of the possibilities. I was curious to know about Sasuke-kun's imagination, because he was an enigma to me. He kept everything so secretive, that I was always sort of amazed when he added any sort of art or style to his movements, fighting or casual. Sasuke-kun couldn't be as boring as he liked to pretend to be. What was he thinking about? What did he show Naruto? Whatever it was, it made Naruto come within an instant, not that I thought that was hard. Sasuke-kun seem to think Naruto had unbelievable stamina. I had seen Naruto melt too many times to really believe that, but what did I know? I wasn't in <em>their</em> relationship. "Is that... Is that something you could do with anyone?"</p><p>"What?" The way that Sasuke-kun kept shooting that word out of his mouth was starting to give me anxiety, like all my questions were stupid. "Probably not with you. I told you that I wasn't very good at it, and you can see through genjutus easily."</p><p>"But I mean, even if I could see through it, I would... you know, let you..." I would give Sasuke-kun my trust.</p><p>Sasuke-kun didn't say anything. I took the wash cloth from his hand and started to wash his back with it. He immediately stiffened. "What are you doing?"</p><p>"You've been washing the same shoulder for like ten minutes. I was doubting you knew what <em>you </em>were doing."</p><p>"I know how to-"</p><p>"Shut up and you can do me next." I wondered when touching Sasukle-kun would stop being such a novelty for me. Probably never, as I doubted he would let such things become routine. I didn't want to think about how things would be for all three of us once we returned home.</p><p>Sasuke-kun was so solid... His shoulders were thinner than Naruto's were, perhaps from being inactive for several months, but there wasn't an ounce of fat anywhere on his body. Naruto didn't have much fat on him either, but the flesh in between his muscles were still pliable. I could still dig my fingers into certain parts of him. Sasuke-kun was as hard as a stature. Maybe it was because he was always so tense all the time. Of course, I don't think Naruto's abs were quite as developed as Sasuke-kun's, which I only had the quickest peek at as his body was still firmly pointed away from me.</p><p>"Why are you poking?"</p><p>"Oh, sorry... thought there was something ... on you..." My whole body blushed but I continued to rub the cloth in circles down Sasuke-kun's back. I went lower to his lower back and then to his...</p><p>"This is an excuse to feel me up, isn't it?"</p><p>I paused, squeezing Sasuke-kun's perfect derriére. It was firm but, my fingers were able to sink into about a centimeter of flesh. I had just been curious!</p><p>"Of course it is, Sasuke-kun! I'm naked in the shower with you!"</p><p>"You climbed in yourself."</p><p>"You said I could."</p><p>"Because I didn't want to be rushed." He turned to me to take back the washcloth. "I... I still feel dirty." It sudden occurred to me that maybe that's why Sasuke-kun had the water so cold. To clear his head, perhaps? Too bad it wasn't working on me. I watched Sasuke-kun put more soap onto his washcloth.</p><p>"Alright," I said, stepping back, trying to avoid the water and failing. "I'll give you your space." I continued to rinse my hair in the water. It was like ice... I missed Sasuke-kun's body heat already. "Is the reason why you feel dirty... I mean, obviously you feel dirty because, well you know..." Sasuke-kun's death glares weren't halting my rambling as I was now turned away from him. "Is it... because... Naruto's a boy?" Of course, maybe I didn't need to be looking at Sasuke-kun. I could feel his irritation regardless. Sasuke-kun didn't seem to speak for a whole minute.</p><p>"It doesn't make much of a difference. I've done much worse. I can't really damn myself any further.""</p><p>"Sasuke-kun, you know it'a not a sin to-"</p><p>"We won't tell anyone about this. You too. It's not the best of reputations if people knew you were involved with two men like that."</p><p>"Of course! We shouldn't talk about this with anyone. It's a ... a secret," my voice died a little when I suddenly remembered that I had told Ino that I suspected Sasuke-kun and Naruto together. Would she tell anyone? I wasn't sure. Fuck.</p><p>"Good. You also understand that this will not continue."</p><p>I frowned. "Not continue with me involved or at all?"</p><p>"At all," Sasuke-kun growled. "If you need it that badly, Naruto is more than willing, but at least make it official for the both of you. The last thing you need is for you to become pregnant based off of a meaningless fucking." My eyes narrowed at 'meaningless fucking' since it wasn't like that for me at all. Sasuke-kun's eyes widened slightly. "Could you be pregnant now?"</p><p>"No I'm on birth control."</p><p>Sasuke-kun let out a sigh of relief though I don't really know why. It wouldn't have been his baby or his problem.</p><p>"It wasn't meaningless to me. Or Naruto. Was it to you?"</p><p>"Everything is meaningless to me."</p><p>Sasuke-kun caught a glimpse of my heartbroken face before rolling his eyes.</p><p>"If it makes you feel better, for the record, you two are the only people... alive, that I give a damn about." There was an awkward silence, like Sasuke-kun was trying to ignore the look of fondness I was giving him. "And <em>maybe</em> Kakashi, but not really. He pisses me off too much. Like he planned this shit or something. I don't know."</p><p>I smiled at him. Sasuke-kun cared about us. Maybe I had always believed deep down that he did.</p><p>"I just need it to be clear that you understand that what happened tonight isn't going to lead anywhere."</p><p>"Who cares?" I asked. Sasuke-kun looked at me in surprise. "Who cares if it doesn't lead into anything. What's important is the now, right? And right now, I'm so happy that you're with us again Sasuke-kun. And Naruto's happy. He really is. And you, are you happy that you're with us, Sasuke?"</p><p>Sasuke-kun stared at me, body still somewhat twisted away. I stepped forward, letting the cold water spray hit my shoulder as I laid a hand on Sasuke-kun. With a gentle push I turned him to fully face me, taking in his entire image like I would never see him again. I could feel Sasuke-kun's eyes on me as well, and I fought with myself to keep my arms from covering my body. Instead, I took the washcloth from Sasuke-kun's hand so I could place his palm on one of my breasts. The callouses Sasuke-kun had were so rough that they were almost sharp, and with the water being cold, my nipples were already erect. It made me gasp softly, biting my lip to try to conceal it. I moved Sasuke-kun's hand to my other breast, pressing it and then moving it down to my stomach. I peered at him through my eyelashes. Sasuke-kun's face looked like he was about to bolt, uncomfortable and nervous. As I guided his hand lower, he gave a small tug, forgetting that I had super human strength.</p><p>"I-I don't... I'm not as good as Naruto... with that sort of stuff..." The faintest of blushes colored Sasuke-kun's cheeks as he glared at nothing in particular. It made me pause for a second.</p><p>"Sasuke-kun..." I almost didn't stop my laugh in time. "Naruto doesn't have as much experience as he always pretends he does. You know how he's always been over confident. Of course... maybe I'm not as experience as Naruto is either..."</p><p>Sasuke-kun still refused to look at me. "You're a woman," he stated. I held back my sarcastic reply. "I don't want to... damage you."</p><p>I let out a rather appaled, angry sort of sound. "I'm not so delicate, Sasuke-kun." I smacked the washcloth against his stomach and he flinched. I started washing him a little too forcefully. "I know... our relationship will never be like yours and Naruto's... with all the dumb boy violence, and fighting and stupidity...</p><p>"That's not what I meant," Sasuke-kun's voice was deeper than normal, and a little more broken sounding.</p><p>I looked at Sasuke-kun's face once before concentration on washing him. "Oh." I covered his body in suds, rubbing in circles over his stomach and hips. "Let's get clean. I don't want you to feel dirty anymore." I scrubbed at the dark hair, noticing Sasuke-kun's chest rising and falling more quickly with the longer I washed him. I ducked the washcloth under and in between his legs, his hand flying to my shoulder. "Y-you haven't washed here yet, have you?" I was trying to be sly and sexy, but my voice quivering was ruining it.</p><p>Sasuke-kun didn't answer. I was surprised he hadn't flung me away or reprimanded me. I stared at his groin. It twitched and Sasuke-kun looked horrified at himself.</p><p>When he did nothing else, I gained the confidence to run the washcloth up and down his shaft, holding it in my hand. It started to harden again, Sasuke-kun's breaths growing heavier.</p><p>I started to think about Naruto. Naruto had him in his mouth. He was inside Naruto. Naruto had been that person for him. I wasn't sure how many times. I didn't know what happened the night Sasuke-kun made Naruto forget, but even erased memories didn't erase their obvious chemistry. I wasn't sure if I could ever compare.</p><p>Sasuke-kun's grip on my shoulder was bruising but I could heal it later. He treated Naruto so much rougher than he treated me, and I found myself resenting that. I didn't want him to think I was lesser, that I couldn't handle it, so I didn't voice the pain his grip made. "How does Naruto do it?" I asked in a whisper.</p><p>"What?" Sasuke-kun asked breathlessly. I didn't elaborate and Sasuke-kun didn't question it more. I wanted to wash Naruto off of his skin. Was it selfish of me? Thinking about Sasuke-kun and Naruto, alone, without me, was starting to upset me. I continued to lather Sasuke-kun, paying attention to every crevice, amazed at the sudden trust Sasuke-kun was giving me. As I continued to wash it, I watched it grow. Seeing, feeling it get bigger was fascinating to me, but now I was wondering how on earth Naruto had ever managed to get this all down his throat. I couldn't remember who was bigger, but I saw Naruto's in the dark, and it was rather bright in the bathroom, making Sasuke-kun look like it might be him.</p><p>Naruto did have a big mouth. It was probably easy for him. Him being a quick learner and having the Nine Tails chakra, it seemed like most things were easy for him.</p><p>At least all things that I found impossible to do myself.</p><p>I took a step to the side to allow the water to hit Sasuke-kun's body and rinse away all the soap. He grunted once the cold water hit him. Sasuke-kun's eyes were glazed, his lips were parted, and erect as he was he was simply too beautiful.</p><p>Fuck it.</p><p>I went to my knees and took him into my mouth. Sasuke-kun let out a startled shout. I hardly was able to even taste him before he had his hand under my arm and was haling me back up. He pushed me to the wall. I would have slipped if his arm didn't hold me so strongly.</p><p>I stared back at him startled, not knowing what I had done wrong. He let Naruto do it to him. He was letting me touch him just moments ago, or wash him or whatever, but he was obviously enjoying it.</p><p>"Don't..." he huffed. "I don't want you ever... on your knees for me. I don't deserve it." And then he was suddenly on his knees himself. There was maybe just an instant of hesitation, his Sharingan and Rennegan flickering on before he opened his mouth and placed it in between my legs. I moaned in surprise and need, hands resting on his wet head. While Naruto had been intense, Sasuke-kun lapped at me lazily. In truth, I was still a little sore from Naruto and the soft licking was soothing. I cooed, my legs starting to feel like spaghetti. Sasuke-kun stabilized me with a hand to the back of my thigh.</p><p>"Oh Sasuke-kun..."</p><p>I let out a startled scream as somehow, my legs were thrown over his shoulders and I was suddenly shooting upward. My view went over the shower curtain rod. Through the open door, I could see Naruto still sleeping on the floor. I felt Sasuke-kun's tongue move inside me, my head rolling back and brushing the ceiling. "Sasuke-kun..." I cried. "Please, please I want you."</p><p>My arousal from before returned to me in full force. I had forgotten what this was like. It was amazing and fulfilling and wonderful, and this time... this was Sasuke-kun.</p><p>My toes curled. I wished to see him. Even though what he was doing felt phenomenal, I wanted to be able to see him, as proof that this was really him.</p><p>"I need you inside me! Just once, or I'll always regret it. Just please."</p><p>I gave another shout as I was falling, Sasuke-kun shouldering off my legs and catching me around the middle. I had shut my eyes, wincing in fear that he would drop me, but he clung tightly, our wet skin adhering somewhat together.</p><p>"I know..." I whimpered. "That you might think it's trashy of me, since I was just with Naruto less than an hour ago, but Sasuke-kun, I've wanted you for so long... I don't know-"</p><p>"Sakura."</p><p>He looked me in the eyes, and I swore I fell in love with him all over again. I had never seen him look at me like that, like he wanted me and cared for me. With the water plastering his hair back, I could see his face more clearly, with nothing more to hide.</p><p>I felt the tip of him pressing into me.</p><p>"Sakura..." Maybe Sasuke-kun would never love me like I loved him, but dammit, this may be enough. His eyebrows drew together as he sunk into me so slowly. Tears collected at the corners of my eyes but not from physical pain, I just loved him too much. I loved him too much.</p><p>I wanted to say so, the confession was on the tip of my tongue, but I didn't want to be as foolish as Naruto. As as I looked at Sasuke-kun's sincere face, him still inching so slowly and deeper into me, I couldn't help but long to be with him forever. I wanted to marry him. I wanted to have his children. I wanted to make him dinner, wash his clothes and heal his wounds. I wanted to be the reason he smiled. I wanted to be his home. I wanted to give him everything and anything he could possibly want.</p><p>Deeper, and deeper he pushed, even after I thought he could go no further.</p><p>I gasped when he fit just right, Sasuke-kun's mouth open and hovering over mine like he could consume the sound. I groaned as he pulled out a little only to drive deep. His movements were minimum but sufficient, with the softest of rocking sending butterflies of pleasure to my lower stomach. A tear escaped and rolled down my cheek. Sasuke-kun caught it with his lips, before burying his head into my neck. I heard his breathing in my ear, strong and soothing. I held onto him for he was my everything. "Sasuke-kun, I'm sorry..." he kissed my throat. "I'm sorry, but I'm in love-" he kissed me on the mouth, devouring my soul.</p><p>Then there was a loud bang as the toilet seat cover was thrown open. That was soon accompanied with the sound of liquid hitting water and a long sigh. "Man, how much can a person pee in one night?"</p><p>Sasuke-kun clutched at me tightly, my eyes snapping wide.</p><p>"Fuck, this is the longest piss in history! Where is this coming from?"</p><p>Sasuke-kun and I didn't respond. I hoped maybe Naruto didn't know of our presence and was perhaps only talking to himself, but with the shower running, he must have known at least one of us were here. If Naruto had any decency, he wouldn't pull the curtain. I thought maybe he was more likely to give me more privacy than Sasuke-kun, you know, because I was a girl. I thought of voicing my existence and making it sound like that Sasuke-kun had only stepped out of the room for a moment, but he most likely had already heard me speaking... and I had uttered Sasuke-kun's name.</p><p>Eventually the sound tinkled to a stop. "Yo, guys, you mind if I hop in there?" My heart started to pound. He knew we were both in here. He'd know what we were doing. "I had like, seventeen years of pent up emo angst shot up into my asshole." I low growl came from Sasuke-kun.</p><p>The next moment the curtain was slung back. Sasuke-kun's back was facing Naruto but I could see Naruto's face fall blank at the sight of us before an unreadable smile took its place. "You animals," he tisked, before shaking his head and climbing in. "What the fuck?! Why is the water so cold?!" He immediately changed the temperature of the water to scolding hot. Neither Sasuke-kun or I moved, letting the water turn both of our skin pink.</p><p>Naruto continued his business like everything was completely normal. After getting his hair wet, he shook his head, spraying water. Then he stood with his back to the spray, hand on his ass, spreading his cheeks. He winced. "Ow... maybe I made it too hot. Yo, where's the soap?"</p><p>Sasuke-kun was so still that I wondered if he had somehow died standing and holding me up. I shifted my grip on him, still somewhat shocked as I pointed to where the soap sat.</p><p>"Thanks Sakura-chan." Naruto started rubbing it under his arm. "Dude, washing your pits with one arm feels weird, like I'm a monkey or something. That's one of those things that I'm still getting used to." The next thing he started to wash was his groin, and still facing me I couldn't stop from staring. Naruto noticed and grinned. "Yo Sasuke, what the hell are you even doing over there?"</p><p>Sasuke-kun gave no responds.</p><p>"Don't drop Sakura-chan. She won't ever forgive you."</p><p>"Sasuke-kun," I murmured into his ear. "You can let me down." He was still inside me but I had felt him grow soft with Naruto's disturbance. Sasuke-kun made no move to let me go.</p><p>"Don't let your one arm get too tired, Teme." I didn't have any fear of Sasuke-kun dropping me. My legs and arms were firmly wrapped around him. The only chance of me falling was if Sasuke-kun's knees buckled, which I was sort of wondering about at this rate.</p><p>I felt Sasuke-kun's voice wake from deep within his chest. "Naruto... if you so much as breathe on me..."</p><p>"Don't worry, I'm not gonna stop you two again. I'm sorry, okay? You guys wanna fuck you guys can fuck. I'll just watch." Naruto was still washing his groin, which didn't look like simply washing with how erect he was.</p><p>Sasuke-kun said nothing and I didn't know what to say either. I just continued to stare at Naruto, noticing how rather glorious he was in the light, tanned skin, muscled and blue eyes.</p><p>"You want me to go..." Naruto's despairingly expression said more than the tone of his voice. "Just give me two minutes and then I'll be out of your way and off to bed... or the floor."</p><p>"Naruto," Sasuke-kun started.</p><p>I watched Naruto's face light up with hope. "I can watch?!"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Can I listen?"</p><p>"Naruto, stop asking! I will always say no!"</p><p>Naruto's face shifted in understanding. "Ah, I see. So do you want me to leave?"</p><p>Sasuke-kun didn't answer that time and Naruto pushed his mouth together, annoyed that his clever plan hadn't exactly worked.</p><p>"You don't want me to... help...?"</p><p>Silence.</p><p>I was getting tired of being held up to the wall. My muscles were getting stiff from the lack of movement. I raised an arm, fed up, and placed it on Naruto's cheek in invitation. If Sasuke-kun wasn't going to do or say anything I might as well. Naruto nearly purred. He stepped closer, reminding me of a stalking animal. I felt Sasuke-kun's fingers under my butt tighten as Naruto walked behind him.</p><p>"Sasuke," Naruto leaned over, his fist with the soup coming to the wall next to my head as he murmured into Sasuke-kun's ear. "Why'd you show me that memory? The one you had me forget." Sasuke-kun's face shifted against my neck. Naruto huffed when he still refused to respond. "Alright. But at least don't keep Sakura-chan waiting. She's been waiting over five years for you." Naruto removed his fist from the wall, placing the bar of soap on Sasuke-kun's left hip. The shiver Sasuke-kun gave jolted me as well. "You wouldn't disappoint her, would you?"</p><p>Sasuke-kun lifted his head from my shoulder, Sharingan and Rennigan clearly exposed. I clutched at Sasuke-kun tighter, half expecting him to fling me at Naruto as if I were a weapon. Naruto's hand disappeared behind Sasuke-kun's leg. Sasuke-kun twitched, and then I felt Naruto's fingers with the soap graze me, right where we were connected. Naruto groaned, eyes unfocused. The soap left me and went through Sasuke-kun legs again. Sasuke-kun was trembling. I watched him bite his lip, and I could feel him getting harder again inside me.</p><p>I looked over at Naruto who had his gaze on Sasuke-kun, his lips brushing the shell of his ear. "It's so slick down here..." I hadn't seen where Naruto's hand disappeared to but I had a guess. "Did Sakura-chan wash you?" Sasuke-kun's eyes narrowed. "Did she wash you everywhere? Did she wash you here?"</p><p>Before Sasuke-kun could explode, I kissed him, quelling the anger and need for dominance. Sasuke-kun seemed to take his frustration out on me, a sudden trust that sent a shout out of me. The air was hard to breath with the steam the hot water was now giving. I felt like I could bite into the tension that came from Sasuke-kun and Naruto. I was in the midst of what made up their peculiar bond, angry and needy.</p><p>"Are you gonna be like that time, Sasuke? Or not in front of Sakura-chan?" Naruto heaved. Sasuke-kun grunted at something Naruto did to him. Naruto grinned, canines seeming to be sharper as he suddenly sunk them into Sasuke-kun's shoulder.</p><p>"Sasuke-kun..." I murmured, licking the water droplets off his chin. Sasuke-kun held his head back, letting us both attack at him with our mouths. I glanced at Naruto, giving him a look that I was begrudgingly letting him share Sasuke-kun with me. He gave me a grin that felt like a dare before he started chewing on Sasuke-kun's ear.</p><p>I allowed it. I wasn't sure if I would allow anyone else though. I don't think I would have allowed Ino. "Sasuke's ours, Sakura-chan," Naruto whispered to me, like he had known what I was thinking. I started to reminisce about the five years Naruto and I searched and cried for Sasuke-kun. After all that suffering, he was finally with us again. He was ours. We deserved him. Naruto was right.</p><p>Naruto's actions had left red and purple marks on Sasuke-kun's shoulder and neck. It was strangely pleasing to see on Sasuke-kun's flawless skin. Naruto lapped over them with his large tongue. His eyes caught mine before giving me a quick kiss. Then he was gone, sinking behind Sasuke-kun's shoulder. I turned my attention to Sasuke-kun then, biting his lips. He was still not moving too much, only a few involuntary shutters. He almost seemed to stumble, pushing me against the wall as we slid a few inches down. I realized it was because Naruto had pulled Sasuke-kun's legs more apart. I didn't care, and neither did Sasuke-kun seem to, as he concentrated on kissing me. I yelped when I felt Naruto's hand again, groping around where he shouldn't be. I squirmed in Sasuke-kun's grasp, feeling what I was suspected was Naruto's breath. Sasuke-kun's breath hitched. He let out a moan that turned into a hissing, "<em>stop!</em>" Alarmed I looked down Sasuke-kun's shoulder to see where Naruto had disappeared to. I saw the top of his blond head, his one hand clutching at Sasuke-kun's left butt cheek, holding it a little away so that he could slide his tongue right up the crack. When his blued eyes rolled up to meet mine I nearly feinted.</p><p>I was jerked to a panic though as Sasuke-kun dug his fingers bruising into my flesh, roaring murderously at Naruto. "You will never eat ramen again!"</p><p>"It tastes like soap."</p><p>"I don't fucking care what it tastes like. Stop it right now! I will-" Sasuke-kun clenched his teeth when Naruto sudden't sank his teeth into his ass. "Kusanagi is going to go <em>so</em> far..."</p><p>Naruto stood up. "Okay Sasuke, I stopped." Sasuke-kun was heaving heavily, Naruto smirking at him. "Unless you don't want me to stop?"</p><p>"Stop teasing, Naruto," I demanded.</p><p>Naruto dropped his taunting expression. "Yes, ma'am." He took a step closer so that he was flushed against Sasuke-kun and in between my knees. I felt Sasuke-kun calm down somewhat in my arms. I petted his head.</p><p>After a moment of nothing happening though, Sasuke-kun growled again. "Naruto!"</p><p>"I'm waiting for consent."</p><p>"Are you serious?! The fact that I'm allowing you to continue <em>breathing </em>should be consent enough!"</p><p>Naruto's silly grin turned serious. He chewed on his lip as he wordless started preparing Sasuke-kun. I continued to caress Sasuke-kun's head and kiss him when he allowed me to. I was thinking myself as a distraction for Sasuke-kun, but Naruto was the one that cried out when he sunk into him. The only sounds Sasuke-kun made were his breathing, his eyes focusing and then un-focusing as Naruto moved.</p><p>I gasped in the humid air as Naruto rocked us both. Naruto grumbled something I couldn't understand. Sasuke-kun's breaths were quick and quiet. Naruto's eyes were closed as he nuzzled his face against Sasuke-kun's bruised neck, digging his fingers into his wet hair. He left a trail of kisses over the abused skin. Sasuke-kun made an expression of milid annoyance before I kissed him on the mouth again.</p><p>Everything was gentle and soft for a time, until Naruto slowly began to build up the momentum. His hand slapped under my butt cheek, the opposite one that Sasuke-kun held, pulling me closer and against Sasuke-kun. I clutched at Sasuke-kun more frantically, being pulled from the wall and fearing we would all lose our balance. Naruto and Sasuke-kun's hands moved together, slamming me against Sasuke-kun with every thrust Naruto made. It was sending me gasping.</p><p>Naruto's fingers were wandering rather deep into my ass crack which I found myself not appreciating. I was trying to find my voice to form an actual sentence even before I felt his little finger on the hole.</p><p>"N-Naruto!" I grabbed onto a chunk of hair and pulled. He winced but otherwise did nothing else. I felt myself slip slightly in Sasuke-kun's grip from letting go of him. He moved his head underneath my chin like the more contact we had the less likely I was to fall away from him.</p><p>This whole situation was rather dangerous in a slippery bathtub.</p><p>Before I could tell Naruto to remove his hand, he sunk his teeth into my neck. The fucking moron made me just moan instead.</p><p>"Don't make me to do all the work, bastard," Naruto said into my neck.</p><p>Sasuke-kun clenched his teeth, his fingers digging even deeper into my flesh. He flipped his head up to press a kiss that I graciously accepted, forgetting about my annoyances with Naruto. Peering through my eyelashes I caught Sasuke-kun's eye, and like he knew that I would glimpse him, his Sharingan started spinning. I opened my eyes wider, entranced in wonder, watching the tomoes revolving.</p><p>Then I was thrown back on the bed that was in the room, the bathroom gone. Naruto was huffing over me and my oversensitive body tightened around him, screaming as he came into me, my body igniting on fire.</p><p>The next instant I was back in the bathroom again, breathing hard as my body was still shuddering against Sasuke-kun. What was that?</p><p>"Dammit," Sasuke-kun muttered.</p><p>"What did you just do to her?" I heard Naruto's voice, but my foggy brain made him sound faraway.</p><p>I caught Sasuke-kun's eye again, only this time I was on the floor, Naruto's head between my thighs and feeling the high I had experienced earlier in the night. I felt myself convulse.</p><p>Then I was back in the bathroom.</p><p>"Are you making her cum with genjutsu?! That's totally cheating, Sasuke!" Oh if Naruto only knew Sasuke-kun was using memories of him, Naruto would never let it down.</p><p>"You keep making me mess up!"</p><p>I felt myself sigh in bliss, totally contented with the high the memories had given me. I wasn't really sure what Sasuke-kun meant by messing up, because it seemed to be working to me. With a glare he pulled me under again.</p><p><em>"Tell me how you do it. Give me details." </em>I was in the ruined office of the Hokage.</p><p><em>"What?" </em>I heard myself ask without control.</p><p>
  <em>"Tell me what makes you decide to touch yourself. What do you think about?"</em>
</p><p>I was on the Hokage's chair, Naruto's hand down my underwear. I wondered if Sasuke-kun could see what I was seeing. I looked around and didn't see him. My cheeks were burning. I didn't want Sasuke-kun to see this. The other two times were different. Sasuke-kun had been there so it didn't really matter if he had saw or not.</p><p>
  <em>"No. I'm not telling you that."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"It'll turn me on. Even if you're thinking about Sasuke, it won't matter to me. Just whatever that turns you on, Sakura-chan."</em>
</p><p><em>"I think of Sasuke-kun." </em>My breath hitched, Naruto's fingers pressing into me. Did it feel like this when it had happened? Everything seemed so much more intense.</p><p>
  <em>"What about him?"</em>
</p><p><em>"About him coming home..." </em>Oh no. Stop. Sasuke-kun couldn't see this. This was too embarrassing. <em>"What ... he looks like ... naked... How his hands might feel like."</em></p><p>
  <em>"Then what?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"He hates me. Sasuke-kun hates me."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Why?"</em>
</p><p><em>"Because. He doesn't know how else to feel. He wants me, but doesn't want to. He's frustrated, so he hates me. He </em>takes <em>me."</em></p><p>
  <em>"How?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Hard. Violently. He forces me down. But I want him to. I want him so badly."</em>
</p><p>I screamed out from another orgasm, lungs having trouble breathing from the humid air. My blurry eyes caught Sasuke-kun staring at me.</p><p>My mouth dry I heard him say. "That was a lot of Naruto." Of course there had been a lot of memories of Naruto. He hadn't left me. Hearing his name, Naruto clutched at us possessively but I knew he didn't know what Sasuke-kun was talking about.</p><p>My heated face was no longer from desirer but from shame, with every memory Sasuke-kun pulled out of my brain.</p><p>Another one, of Naruto and me on the Hokage's office floor. Again, I came.</p><p>"I'm sorry Sasuke-kun!" I sobbed out, my body convulsing in the after shocks of pleasure without my permission.</p><p>"Sasuke, if you make Sakura-chan cum too much she'll die," Naruto mumbled against Sasuke-kun's neck, unaware of what Sasuke-kunw as showing me. "Can you die from something like that? Sakura-chan should know."</p><p>"Heh, Sakura's got more stamina than you Dobe."</p><p>"As if!"</p><p>"Right Sakura?" Sasuke-kun asked me in a low, terribly sexy voice. "Where's that second wind?" My shame was forgotten for a second. Was Sasuke-kun teasing me?</p><p>Naruto, Sasuke-kun and the bathroom vanished, the sound of the shower turning into the sound of rain hitting the glass of the window of my old bedroom. I was laying on my bed, in the dark, a picture of Sasuke-kun in my hands. I waited until I heard both my parents go to bed before I let my hand slide across my thigh and under my skirt.</p><p><em>"Sasuke-kun,"</em> I whispered to the picture.</p><p><em>No, no, no! </em>This was all too embarrassing. Was this the first time I...?</p><p>I felt my fingers disappear under my panties. Closing my eyes, I imagined Sasuke-kun coming to my window soaking wet,</p><p>"Kai! Stop it!" We were back in the shower. Sasuke-kun was... chuckling? Which I never heard him do without blood lust and I could feel the reaction vibrate and jerk inside me as I clutch his wet body and tried to hide my face from him.</p><p>"What's so funny teme? Just because you got Sakura-chan to cum three times by cheating-"</p><p>"It's nothing," Sasuke-kun dismissed.</p><p>"Please Sasuke-kun, no more. I don't want you to see anymore," I said beyond embarrassed.</p><p>"You saw me and Naruto. This is payback."</p><p>"Wait, what?" Naruto asked.</p><p>"Hardly! You guys were just hugging!" Though Sasuke-kun was such a drama queen perhaps for him, hugging Naruto was the worst scandal that could have ever happened to him. Or he pretend it to be. I almost laughed. I should know better.</p><p>"Fine," And then Sasuke-kun forced me to look at him again, suddenly putting all of his memories of that one night before Naruto came to my window into my head. They were in the woods, outside the village. It wasn't just visual, I could feel everything Sasuke-kun had felt, anger, frustration and lust on top of my own feelings of embarrassment and jealousy. It was hard to tell what was Sasuke-kun's and what was mine as I fought with Naruto, as I yelled at Naruto, as I punched Naruto as I fucked Naruto. And then I was in tears as Naruto turned around and loved me right back. I felt Sasuke-kun hate Naruto just like I always did. I felt him just as confused as I had always been. But the way Naruto touched Sasuke-kun felt good and I didn't judge Sasuke-kun for succumbing to such a temptation. The both of us knew how Naruto could be.</p><p>The whole incident must have lasted forty five minutes, but hardly a second had past before I was back in the bathroom. I breathed in the humid air, shocked at being warm when I had felt the cold air of being naked in the woods so recently. I had came again on Sasuke-kun another two times from experiencing the feelings that Sasuke-kun had remembered, my sweaty skin slipping on his body.</p><p>He hoisted me up. "There, now everyone knows everything."</p><p>"Knows what?" It was as if Naruto had to prove the sentence wrong. Naruto would always be too dumb to know everything.</p><p>"Naruto, I thought you were gonna fuck me. I've just performed five genjutsus like you weren't even back there."</p><p>Naruto growled. "I am! You're not going to be able to walk straight tomorrow."</p><p>"If I can keep Sakura so busy, you're not doing your job."</p><p>I gave a yelp as Naruto plowed into Sasuke-kun, but Sasuke-kun soon caught me with his eye again. He went through my brain like a library, every night I had ever spent thinking about him and touched myself to, which was an appalling amount of times. He read every little stupid, innocent and dirty fantasy I've ever had of him, day dream or musing when I should have been either sleeping or doing something far more important. Five years worth, and Sasuke-kun found them all, playing them out and having me experience them as if they were real. Some of them were rather ridiculous, other on the kinkier side and all of them shameful. This was most likely giving off the impression that I was slutty, trashy nympho. I should have been too embarrassed to enjoy any of them, but Sasuke-kun was entirely too sexy and he added to the dreams, inserting himself, adding enough extra detail just to keep me on my toes so I wasn't exactly sure what would happen in each one.</p><p>It felt like each one was more intense than the last. I lost count on how many times I was pulled away from reality. I was sobbing. It hurt, the pain dissolving with each organism only to return in the seconds in between them. I began to understand why this genjutsu was meant for torture. This was too much.</p><p>But I didn't want it to stop. This was suffering. This was suffering with Sasuke-kun and my sick mind never wanted to be parted form such glorious beautiful pain.</p><p>I knew time wasn't moving as fast as I thought it was because of the genjutsu. It felt liked hours. It ended when I heard Sasuke-kun crying out, a sound that shook my hazy brain. At first I didn't even know what I was hearing, but it was beautiful if foreign. I saw Sasuke-kun's flushed face for only an instant. I was vaguely aware of Naruto biting down on Sasuke-kun's shoulder, like a predator dragging my precious Sasuke-kun away from me. Or perhaps more like a bartender who had said I had enough. I was drunk on feeling. With my vision spinning, I had no sense that we were falling in the bathtub, just that the scenery was changing.</p><p>Sasuke-kun's knees bent, catching me before I fell all the way from him. My arms were limp and could no longer hold onto him. The only reason why my head didn't clink against the wall was because Naruto caught it, moving with us so that when all three of us fell to the floor damage was kept to a minimum.</p><p>"Shit! Teme, you fucking killed her!"</p><p>Sasuke-kun made a murmuring sound, arm wrapped around my middle as he nuzzled his face into my neck. With the water beating down around us, I closed my eyes. It was over. It was time to sleep now. Once I caught my breath that was. I couldn't breathe even after it was over. It was too hot. It was too humid.</p><p>"Guys, you can't sleep in the shower. You gotta get up."</p><p>"I... I can't... breathe."</p><p>"Fuck," Naruto swore as he turned off the shower. "You okay?"</p><p>"Sleep ... time..." I said. Sasuke-kun might have already been unconscious.</p><p>"No sleep time, Sakura-chan. Help me get the bastard off of you."</p><p>"No..." I wrapped my arms around Sasuke-kun's exquisite limp body. With the shower now off, I was beginning to feel the cold air on my drying skin, and the heaviness of him was the only thing keeping me warm.</p><p>"You're gonna catch a cold. Fine." Naruto turned the water back on, but closed the drain so that the tub began to fill with it. "We'll get you clean up first, then to bed. Make sure Sasuke doesn't drown."</p><p>I groaned with how nice it felt as the water started lapping my legs. Actually, anything rubbing my skin felt nice, though Sasuke-kun's breath was tickling my neck. If I had the strength I would have covered up his mouth with my own to quell the little discomfort. Naruto moved over to one end of the tub. I was noticing how small the space was with all three of us sitting at the bottom of it. Naruto pulled Sasuke-kun off of me, propping him up against the opposite wall of the tub. Sasuke-kun made a mild groan but didn't open his eyes.</p><p>Naruto then dragged me over to him with the help of the weightless water and settled me on his lap. "What did the bastard do to poor Sakura-chan," he said, rubbing at my thigh. I whimpered and turned in his lap, my arms going around his neck and his hand going to my sore back. I moaned with how amazing it felt too have his fingers prodding at the muscles. I concentrated on gathering my breath back, feeling my stored chakra slowly trickling to accommodate my weak body. Naruto moved his soapy hand over my skin, though he concentrated on my back, making it more of a massage than a cleaning. I wasn't complaining.</p><p>"Sasuke thinks he's so cool... Fucking cheater is what he is."</p><p>"He was mean..." I finally heard myself saying.</p><p>"He's always been mean."</p><p>"He was ... a bastard...!"</p><p>"That's what I've always said!"</p><p>"I have... I have to get him back. I have to make him feel... at <em>my mercy</em> but, oh I can't. I can't keep up with him. He too sexy!" My throat hurt to speak. I tried swallowing to wet it but that hurt too.</p><p>Naruto chuckled at me. "Sakura-chan. It's so easy to get Sasuke off. He's like a minute man or something."</p><p>I gasped. "No he's not!" I exclaimed, smacking the water. "We've been in here, for like an hour."</p><p>"It's been less than five minutes since I've gotten here!"</p><p>"No! Look at my fingers! Look how pruny they are!" I lifted my hand, but that proved to be too tiring and it splashed back down into the water.</p><p>"I mean, I don't know how long you guys were in here before I came in, but by the sound of your talking, it didn't seem like you were getting it on until shorty before I arrived."</p><p>"You were listening to us!?"</p><p>"You left the door open." I opened my mouth to say my angry retort but Naruto interrupted me, showing me his own hand. "See my fingers?" I turned my head to look. "Not a single wrinkle on them." I blinked as I looked at his hand, taking a hold of it to inspect it better.</p><p>"Your finger was in my asshole."</p><p>Naruto laughed.</p><p>"I didn't like it."</p><p>"Oh," Naruto said in between his laughter. "Sorry. I just... I like how it feels. With Sasuke making you cum so much, man, it kept-"</p><p>"Stop it!" I slapped his face, causing the water to splash up. "I hate both of you!"</p><p>"Ah, Sakura-chan! I'm sorry." He nuzzled his face into my wet head. "I'll make it up to you. I promise."</p><p>"No... no more sex... I think I'll die."</p><p>"That's not what I meant, Sakura-chan." Naruto's knees were already bent because Sasuke-kun was in the way of him stretching them out fully, but he bent them further to cradle me deeper into his lap. "I'm going to make sure you're always happy. That you're always safe. That you're never lonely." I felt Naruto's words wrap around me, almost crush me. His word was always an oath, always a curse. It was like the lines one recited to a beloved one on their wedding ceremony, the exact opposite of what Sasuke-kun had said. This was not meaningless to Naruto, and he would never pretend that it was. "We belong to each other now," he said. "And that will never, ever change."</p><p>There was still a slight sickness in my stomach, that I knew deep down, that Naruto was wrong. We would all fall apart. This could never work, but the calm humid air, Naruto's warm body and low grumbling voice, convinced me otherwise. I was calmed by his promises.</p><p>I still felt the need to voice the most probable problem to Naruto's fantasy. "Sasuke-kun-"</p><p>"Don't worry about Sasuke," He nudged the other man with his leg. Sasuke-kun's head rolled over, now facing us, but head still pointed down so that his wet bangs fell into his face.</p><p>"He's asleep," I whispered in awe.</p><p>"Yea. It peaceful isn't it? We must have really worn him out."</p><p>I giggled, thinking about how much trouble both Naruto and I had caused him tonight. "Poor Sasuke-kun," I murmured. I studied him a moment longer, watching water droplets collect at the ends of his hair before dripping into the bath. "I wish... I could make him feel like you do Naruto."</p><p>"Whadda ya mean?"</p><p>"He's always so closed up. You're so good at... at doing certain things, and I..." I felt Naruto's cheeks bunch up against my head as he grinned insanely.</p><p>"What are you saying, Sakura-chan?" Naruto breathed heavily.</p><p>Images of Sasuke-kun's expressions flashed in my mind, so raw, and only when Naruto was doing something to him. One particular one when Sasuke-kun was thrusting into Naruto's throat with such reckless abandon, not at all the careful control he normally had, was burned into my brain. "You... I mean, you seem more experienced-"</p><p>Naruto interrupted me with a loud laugh. Sasuke-kun's eyebrows twitched at the sound. "I really am not all that... well, I don't know. No. It's not really. Maybe I just have a knack for it. I don't know. What are you talking about?"</p><p>My eyebrows drew together. "Naruto, what are you talking about?"</p><p>"What are you talking about? I asked first!"</p><p>"You can get Sasuke-kun off so much better than I can!" I blurted out. I didn't know why I even brought this up. The fact would most likely never change, just like how I would never be as powerful as the two of them.</p><p>"You're asking for my advice?"</p><p>My face was still burning.</p><p>"You're thinking about it too hard. Like I said, Sasuke is quick. I gave him like eight thrusts and he was creaming inside of you."</p><p>I bit my lip. "I don't have a dick," I said. Sasuke-kun probably did prefer Naruto over me. Judging by that memory he had shared with me, it was impossible to not be consumed by the violent passion the boys gave each other. What did I do? Nothing. And moaned a lot.</p><p>"You don't need a dick. Anything you do to him would get him hot and bothered in no time. He tries to hide it, but he really is such a mess," Naruto laughed. "It's because he doesn't masturbate. It's all pent up in there. He needs so much sex. It's the only way to fix him."</p><p>"He doesn't... Oh God... " I started to think about how Sasuke-kun had gone through everyone of my fantasies that I had touched myself to. "And he knows I do... He knows everything! He saw it. He knows I'm a disgusting sex addict." I buried my face into my hands.</p><p>"If Sasuke thinks masturbation is a sin, I wonder what he thinks of acts of homosexuality, like me fucking him in the ass, or using genjutsues to make orgasms. He must really want to go to hell."</p><p>I shook my head.</p><p>"Sakura-chan," Naruto tried to comfort me. "Sasuke wanted you so bad... the damn motherfucker. When I stopped you guys from fucking he took it out on my ass. And then I found you two in here. He just couldn't wait to have you. I don't know what you're worried about."</p><p>"I..." I tried to speak through my embarrassment. "I tried to give him head and he stopped me."</p><p>"Psh, fucking bastard."</p><p>"I think it's because I'm bad at it."</p><p>"Sakura-chan!" Naruto clutch me with his arm, his breath getting notably harder as he talked. "That's impossible. Gosh, when you were... fuck I couldn't even think."</p><p>"I can't do it like you can."</p><p>"Oh, man. You didn't even have to," Naruto shook his head.</p><p>I scoffed, "Maybe because <em>your</em> easy." Naruto made a sound of indifference. "How do you do it like that? It's so big!"</p><p>Naruto chuckled. "I don't know. Practicing probably helps..." I tried to look at Naruto's face but he was hiding it behind my head. "The first thing though is not to be afraid of it."</p><p>"I think I'm afraid of it."</p><p>"Ha, maybe. It's not like you have one of your own, right Saukra-chan?" I pinched him. "Ow!" he whined. "But really Sakura-chan, remembered when you chugged that beer?"</p><p>"Yeah," I pouted.</p><p>"It's kinda like that, but it stays in your throat, and you gotta get used to it I guess."</p><p>"But what about gagging?"</p><p>"Just suppress it."</p><p>I let our a frustrated groan.</p><p>"You could practice on me!" And then, "Don't hit me too hard!" Naruto quickly said after, but I didn't hit him. I sat there and thought about it.</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>"Really?!"</p><p>"But not now. I'm too tired." I laid back against him. My hand accidentally brushed against his hard member under the water. He made a suppressed murmuring sound. "This conversation got you hard?"</p><p>"I've been hard, Sakura-chan! I never finished. Sasuke came too soon and then everyone was falling and shit."</p><p>"Oh." Right. Naruto said it only had been a few minutes. I rubbed Naruto's cock with my fist without thinking, just because it was something there.</p><p>"Haaa... Sakura-chan... you said you were too tired."</p><p>"I am. I probably won't be able to get you off," I said sleepily.</p><p>"Sakura-chan, why you always teasing me all the time...? I'm trying so hard to show restraint."</p><p>I turned around to press my mouth against his. I didn't know why I did this to Naruto. Something about him. Liking wanting to put footprints on new snow, or knocking down a stack of blocks. I wanted to stick my hands into Naruto's soul because the reaction would be satisfying. I didn't know. I didn't know how to explain it.</p><p>I started to stroke him more firmly. I played with the idea of actually going down on him now, practice as Naruto had suggested. But everything was already under the bath water. I wasn't going to attempt to go under.</p><p>Naruto groaned. "I think..." he heaved. "I don't know what it is, Sakura-chan, but when you... do things like this to me... tease me, hit me, it's torture but... I love it anyway."</p><p>My hand slowly stopped moving. Naruto winced when I stopped but kissed my head anyway.</p><p>"I think you might be evil," he whispered into my head, but I could still feel that his mouth was holding its grin.</p><p>Sasuke-kun suddenly jerked himself awake. His arm flinging about splashed water out of the tub and his eye flashed his sharingan.</p><p>"Sorry, Teme. We let you fall asleep."</p><p>Sasuke-kun glared at Naruto for a moment before he looked at the water he was sitting in. "What the fuck is this?" He turned the water off. The level had been dangerously close to overflowing. Then he pushed himself up to climb out.</p><p>Naruto's gaze followed Sasuke-kun hopelessly. He shot up into a standing position, some how able to cradle me and keep me firmly pressed to him with just his one arm.</p><p>Sasuke-kun was busy drying himself with a towel as Naruto carefully stepped out of the tub with me. "Sasuke! Dry Sakura-chan too!"</p><p>Sasuke-kun had just finished fastening the towel to his hips. He scowled at Naruto for a moment before he pulled the towel off and flung it over me. I grasped it, holding it close to me. I could smell Sasuke-kun on it.</p><p>"You can put me down, Naruto." He did so, slowly. Even when my feet had touched the floor, he still had his arm wrapped tightly around my midriff, bicep pushing up on my boobs. I was a little annoyed by this, but a quick look at Naruto's face showed that he wasn't paying attention to what he was doing. He was too busy staring at Sasuke-kun's ass. There was a giant bite mark on Sasuke-kun's left butt cheek.</p><p>I stared at it too, Sasuke-kun drying his hair with a new towel. As he wrapped the new towel around himself, obscuring our vision, he turned his head toward us.</p><p>The both of us looked away sharply. I fell back against Naruto because he had let go of me, though his arm quickly preventing me from falling. Sasuke-kun pulled the towel I had out of my grip somewhat violently before rubbing it forcefully over my head. "You're going to get sick," he grumbled. After he finished roughly drying me, he did Naruto. I saw Naruto's smile in the mirror, his face rosy with a blush as Sasuke-kun tended to him as well. Sasuke-kun whipped the towel at him once Naruto was dry, the end of it wrapping around and smacking him. Naruto gave a short surprised yelp.</p><p>Sasuke-kun stomped back over to the tub. "Is no one going to pull the drain? Why am I doing everything?" Both Naruto and I watched Sasuke-kun bend over to pull the drain, neither of us having any words to say. He stood up, turned around and glared at us. "Stop standing there like idiots!"</p><p>He bullied us out of the bathroom. Naruto pulled back the blankets of the bed, silently announcing that no one was sleeping on the floor. He threw the wet towel onto the ground. Sasuke-kun glowered at him as he picked it up to drape on the back of a chair. As Sasuke-kun did the same with his own towel, Naruto pulled me into the bed.</p><p>"Come on Sasuke!" Part of me didn't think Sasuke-kun would get in the bed with us, but I shouldn't have doubted Naruto.</p><p>Sasuke-kun got in next to me, but immediately turned to his side to face away from us. I was okay with that, placing both my hands on his bare back, and letting my lips press in between his shoulder blades. His skin shivered under my breath so I pressed closer to him to keep him warm, one of my legs nudging in between his. Naruto was already spooned behind me, hips digging into my butt as he nuzzled my hair. He reached over to encircled his arm around the both of us. Sasuke-kun sighed, annoyed, but did nothing to move away from us.</p><p>In between the two bodies was so warm.</p><p>I began to wonder, if this was what it was all leading us to. This was the end of the journey, the end of the story. What if this was my happy ending?</p><p>I put my arms around Sasuke-kun too, sandwiching one arm underneath Naruto's. It was. It was the only way all three of us could be happy. Sasuke-kun was trying to fight it off, but I felt him relax in front of me. Even with his denial, I realized this was the answer.</p><p>Happily ever after.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is the last of the content that I already had, which means I need to start writing new content and will not be updating every day anymore. Oh no! Also, we only got the one laptop so a lot of this was done through my phone. And the outlets only work when the generator is running and that requires gas so it's like difficult. This is my life now.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I woke up to the feeling of a fingertip tracing the edge of my lip. My eyes fluttered open to meet one dark, and the other, the Rinnegan, was mostly concealed by hair and the plushness of the pillow. I almost lost my breath with how beautiful he looked at that moment.</p><p>"It's ten," he told me softly. "Checkout is at eleven. We should be gone before then so that they don't know I'm in the room." I yawned, turning my head into the pillow. My body was heavy as half of Naruto was still on me, his arm and one leg wrapped around me possessively. I thought he might be drooling on my hair.</p><p>"That's like a whole hour from now..." I said. I kind of wanted to hump myself against Sasuke-kun's thigh until I fell asleep again, but it was too embarrassing for me to even attempt.</p><p>"I didn't know how long it would take you to get ready."</p><p>Normally I would be thinking like Sasuke-kun, and want to be up and ready as soon as possible, but... Sasuke-kun was laying naked in front of me. I laid a hand on the center of his chest, listening to his heart. I smiled at the proof of his existence.</p><p>Naruto squeezed me harder with every move I made.</p><p>"Naruto's not going to get out of bed easily," Sasuke-kun commented.</p><p>"No..." Naruto groaned. "No fucking without me again..." He pulled me away from Sasuke-kun.</p><p>"We weren't," Sasuke-kun replied flatly.</p><p>"Why not?" Naruto humped his stiffness against me ass. "You just said we had a whole hour." I was impressed that Naruto had been awake to hear that. "Besides, Sakura-chan hasn't had a turn to be in the middle yet."</p><p>"W-what?" I blushed, closing my legs together and now suddenly fearful with the way Naruto was rubbing himself on me. "I'm not sure if-"</p><p>"Fine, then another hour of sleep," Naruto heaved and I felt him relax his body around me.</p><p>Three seconds went by before Sasuke-kun said, "I'm getting up."</p><p>"Wait!" I said, my hands desperate to keep Sasuke-kun near. "I want to be touched. Touch me." I expected Sasuke-kun to say something along the lines of to ask Naruto, for why should he be bothered? But he sunk back into the bed, calloused hand moving over my hip. "N-Naruto too. I want to try being in the middle."</p><p>Naruto's arm squeezed me as he laughed. "You're cute, Sakura-chan."</p><p>"Shut up, Naruto! Get on with it or I'll change my mind!"</p><p>"Ahh..." Naruto paused, not expecting this reaction. "Um, there's like some," he swallowed, "lotion I think in the bathroom."</p><p>"Go get it then." Naruto rocketed himself over both me and Sasuke-kun so fast that I gave a small shout from the disturbance of the mattress. Trying to find a distraction to what I just agreed to, I grabbed onto Sasuke-kun's hand, leading it between my legs. I saw the nervousness in his face, but I kissed him to help conceal it from Naruto. I was slightly self conscious of my morning breath, noting Sasuke-kun's breath didn't seem to have soured at all. I wondered if he had slept.</p><p>Naruto leapt back into the bed like a bolder. I felt Sasuke-kun panic with his fingers inside me, but nothing had hurt me. Instead I bit my lip, and encouraged him with my hips. His fingers twitched in inexperience, and I urged him onward with my voice, the arm I had my weight on moving to search for him under the covers.</p><p>"Better not cheat this time, Sasuke. This time I'm here so-"</p><p>Sasuke-kun's eyes flashed dangerously. "If you hurt her-"</p><p>I interrupt the threat. "No fighting. This will not be a contest." I felt Naruto settle back behind me, arm holding the bottle of lotion wrapping around my waist avariciously as he let out a low growl. Sasuke-kun stared back at him defiantly over my shoulder.</p><p>If I was ignored about the fighting, so God help me...</p><p>My free arm slung back to grab Naruto's dick behind me. All his breath came out at once, effectively having him under my control. I started to stroke both of them, listening to the way their breathing changed, like a personal sympathy just for me.</p><p>Mine. All mine.</p><p>I didn't notice Sasuke-kun worming his head down and pushing mine up until his teeth were pulling on my lips. I saw his eye move to stare at Naruto in a harassing manner. Like he was silently bragging that he had my mouth. Of course Naruto had to react. I didn't know where he left the bottle of lotion but his hand was free to grasp me under my chin and pull me away to be kissed by him instead.</p><p>How annoying. I wasn't sure who to punish first. Even as Naruto was trying to cover my entire mouth with his, I could still feel Sasuke-kun nipping at the corner of my lips. The crane of me neck from this position was starting to hurt, so I gave one pump of my left hand and Naruto released his mouth from mine to gasp.</p><p>I tried to keep my face away from Sasuke-kun as well, because it wasn't fair and I didn't want to have to do anymore scolding in the middle of it. I wasn't their mother.</p><p>But as I had always been good at outsmarting Naruto, Sasuke-kun had always been good at outsmarting me. I had forgotten his hand was inside me, and with a single thrust of his fingers, my head went back with mouth open, allowing him to have that controlling kiss he would only accept.</p><p>I heard Naruto whine behind me, teeth scraping against the back of my neck, and him humping my hand. I was wondering if the lotion bottle was forever lost in the sheets of the bed, but his hand soon left me and I heard the sound of the cap being flipped open.</p><p>"Make her cum once first, Teme, so she's relaxed."</p><p>"Don't try ordering me around. I know already."</p><p>"Then what's taking you so long."</p><p>"You're impatient."</p><p>I growled. Naruto whined. Sasuke-kun kissed me again. He was listening to me intently with every move of his hand he did, noting my reactions. I tried to help, making sure to moan louder when something he did felt right. I pressed my mouth to Sasuke-kun's throat, breathing in the scent of his skin. I felt him swallow and it made me smile. Sasuke-kun always pretended he had himself together. Perhaps Naruto was right. He was all out of sorts. I made it worse when I ran my tongue across his Adam's apple.</p><p>Sasuke-kun stopped moving. Me kissing him, he came back to his senses. Frustrated with me distracting him, he sucked my tongue into his mouth. I whined, but he refused to release it, his hand suddenly working at a speed I wasn't used to. I cried out again, the sound muffled from his mouth.</p><p>He released me. I let out a relieved cry but he only captured me again, teeth clamped on my bottom lip to keep me still. Sasuke-kun was so annoyingly dominating. I still didn't know how to control him like Naruto. Though at the moment it no longer mattered. I squealed as I finally felt my body release with tremors and clutching around Sasuke-kun's now soaked hand, but he didn't stop. I closed my eyes shut, tears at the corners of them.</p><p>Naruto was busy rubbing his lotion-ed hand over my lower back and squeezing my ass. The lotion was lavender scented and it was now masking the scent of sex I was producing. I let go of Naruto as he proceed to dig himself into my flesh. The way he was humping me felt really good, and I was beginning to wonder if anal sex could really be that bad. I felt Naruto start like he might push into me, before changing his mind and going back to rubbing my butt. I wasn't sure if he was just nervous in hurting me or teasing me as payback for last night.</p><p>Sasuke-kun slowly pulled his fingers out of me, tracing a wet trail playfully inside my leg. I lifted my other leg slightly as the feeling tickled me. Naruto's grunt, and the smug look Sasuke-kun gave made me think he must have grabbed him as well.</p><p>All the panting and touching and rubbing was starting to get me hot. Sasuke-kun must have been feeling the same way as he sudden't tore off the blanket that was covering us. I was slightly alarmed, his eyes scanning my exposed body before he grabbed my leg and lifted it up. He pressed himself against me, a chaste kiss to my lips as if asking for permission. I gave it to him as I helped guide him into me.</p><p>I whined into Sasuke-kun's mouth as he filled me. That first moment of being penetrated was so intense, so good. He moved in slow, deep, sensual moves.</p><p>Naruto was still busy prodding around behind me. I noticed that he was putting an effort to make sure the lotion was warm before it touched my skin, but him only having one hand he had to keep reapplying it. My natural fluids were starting to leak in between my legs, a wet vulgar sound as Sasuke-kun fucked me. Naruto had no qualms about mixing that with the lotion for his purpose. My cheeks burned as I started to think about what I was doing. It was dirty and shameless. As Sasuke-kun stared into my eyes, it became hot and exciting.</p><p>Then, Naruto's humping and pushing finally went somewhere as the tip of him inserted inside me.</p><p>"Fuck!" I screamed. Both Naruto and Sasuke-kun stopped moving. Sasuke-kun stared at me in surprise, alarm, perhaps even worried for my well being. I hadn't meant to curse into his face like that and was feeling sort of embarrassed.</p><p>Naruto wasn't even breathing behind me, probably fearing for his life.</p><p>"Fucking shit," I heard myself saying more.</p><p>Naruto's voice was tight as he tried to speak. "You're so-"</p><p>"Just fucking finish it, already!" Naruto was hardly in me at all. Since he stopped moving it didn't hurt, but it was extremely uncomfortable.</p><p>"I'll-I'll go slow."</p><p>"I don't fucking care!"</p><p>Naruto pushed a little more. I winced. Sasuke-kun seemed to be annoyed with Naruto's actions.</p><p>"Sakura-chan, I'm sorry. Should I be slower? Should I stop? What should I do?"</p><p>"You could shut up," I grumbled.</p><p>"I'll pull out."</p><p>"Shut up, you're annoying her!" Sasuke-kun snapped, and shoved his hand into Naruto's mouth. It didn't really make Naruto quiet as he just moaned. In fact, the action cause Naruto to snap his hips forward and I let out a startled cry filled with slight pain but oddly good. I grabbed onto Sasuke-kun, silently begging for the the two of them to begin moving inside me.</p><p>I wasn't sure how to convey the words, that I wanted more, that I wanted it faster and harder. All I could do was whine out loudly in need. Fortunately Sasuke-kun seemed to know what I wanted as he pulled his hand out of Naruto's mouth to grab onto my thigh, tugging me against him as his hips rammed into me. The movement jerked me away from Naruto slightly, and Naruto whined at the friction it caused. Another snap, and Naruto buried deeper into me, me seeing stars as he grasped my left breast like his life depended on it. The more they moved, the more that anything painful or discomfort disappeared.</p><p>I cried out with abandon, no longer caring what sort of noises Sasuke-kun could hear from me. Naruto wasn't being much quieter behind, groaning and moaning almost as much as I was. Sasuke-kun only huffed. Feeling them both inside me made me feel so complete, even as either one of their rhythms didn't match the other, even as I felt them bump against each other through the wall of flesh that separated them, their fingers bruising into my flesh like desperate men finding their last hope. They needed me. They wanted me.</p><p>I was giving it to them. They could take everything. I was giving them everything.</p><p>"H-harder.." I said in between my cries. Maybe I shouldn't have said that because Naruto seemed to take everything I said to such heart. He gave his soul to the command, slamming and moving so fast into me that I was in tears in seconds. Sasuke-kun swore under his breath. Not wanting to be outdone he tried to match Naruto's speed or surpass it.</p><p>Naruto started rattling on nonsense into my neck now that Sasuke-kun's hand was out of his mouth. "Sakura-chan. So fucking... hot. Bastard. Hate that... Man I love..." I wasn't sure how he even had the breath with the pace he was setting.</p><p>"N-Naruto..." I gasped. "You talk too much..."</p><p>"You're so pretty," he continued.</p><p>Sasuke-kun's eyebrows twitched in annoyance, but his eyes were held tightly closed. I wasn't sure if it was too block out the sound of Naruto's voice or if he was too busy concentrating on what he was doing. Most likely both.</p><p>Oh but Sasuke-kun...</p><p>The sound of wet flesh smacking together from the both of them burned into my ears. Now this was lewd and dirty, and Sasuke-kun was participating right along with it. I watched him, mouth open as I heaved in the air. I would have been drooling if my mouth wasn't already so dry.</p><p>I watched his stomach muscles glide under his skin with every forceful move he sent into me, sending me shivering with just the image. His bicep was contracted from holding my leg up. He was so sexy himself. If only he would open his eyes. I wanted him to look at me.</p><p>"Sasuke-kun..." And then he did, mismatching eyes only glancing at me, but it was everything. I had been moaning rather shamelessly already, but I screamed at the top of my lungs when I came.</p><p>"Bastard! You cheating again?!" Naruto cried over my noise. I of course couldn't be louder than him.</p><p>"Fuck no!"</p><p>"Shut up! I'm killing-" I was interrupted by a groan escaping my own mouth, "I'm killing both of you," I finished.</p><p>Naruto murmured in approval, like he would gladly let me kill him. I seriously wondered what went through his head all the time. Before I could think too much on it he started speaking again.</p><p>"Can I...? I want you... I want you..."</p><p>I almost rolled my eyes. Didn't Naruto have me? Didn't Naruto have the both of us?</p><p>"I don't know how much longer I can hold back... Been waiting..."</p><p>Realizing what he was actually asking for, I heard my meek voice whispering, "Yes." I thought Naruto's pace was fast before, but at my soft word he exploded into an insane amount of energy. I screamed as loud as I was able to, Sasuke-kun clutching me like he was keeping me from falling apart. Perhaps he was.</p><p>The force of Naruto coming was like a hot spike being driven into a wound, only all pain had morphed to its opposite. I never felt liked this before. My body was so sensitive that every graze of skin felt like tiny shocks. Sasuke-kun was more subtle in his finishing. He didn't drive abusively into me, but restrained himself. I settled in watching the tendons strain in his neck and almost all of his skin flush a lovely shade of pink.</p><p>The three of us concentrated on breathing for a moment, Naruto licking the back of my neck until I was even more sticky than I was from just my sweat. His arm landed heavy over me, hand hitting on Sasuke-kun's shoulder with a smack. "Is this a dream?" he suddenly asked.</p><p>I laughed. "Probably."</p><p>"You're both dumb," Sasuke-kun answered.</p><p>"Bastard, let me kiss you."</p><p>"No."</p><p>Naruto used me to push himself up anyway, landing on me in order to catch Sasuke-kun's mouth. He hissed in pain when Sasuke-kun must have bitten his lips. He smiled satisfied despite it as he plopped back behind me. "Not a dream," he said.</p><p>"Your breath stinks," Sasuke-kun replied. "Brush your teeth."</p><p>"Sure, sure," Naruto replied as he began to climb off of me.</p><p>I felt something start to leak out of me from both ends. "Wait. Naruto. Let me get in there first." I was finding it much harder to disentangle myself from Sasuke-kun and the sheets than Naruto. "I need to use the toilet."</p><p>"I don't care Sakura-chan! Go right ahead! I don't mind if you piss or shit in front of me."</p><p>I stopped wrestling with the sheets, Sasuke-kun ripping them away from me himself, to glare at Naruto. "I'm not going to take a shit in front of you, you sick perv!"</p><p>"I'm not saying that it'll turn me on! I'm just saying if you <em>had</em> to, I wouldn't care. We're human. Everyone does it."</p><p>I huffed as my feet finally found the floor. For an alarming second, I wasn't sure if my legs were going to hold me up as I started rushing to the bathroom. I pushed Naruto out of my way when I felt both of their fluids running down my leg. Once I sat down on the toilet, I felt an embarrassingly amount of air escape my body from both orifices. I paled in horror, not sure if Naruto had heard. Luckily he had been slow on following me.</p><p>"Wait, so you don't want me in there with you?"</p><p>"No!" I slammed the door closed with my foot. I spent and obscenely amount of time on the toilet. Of course I felt like I needed another shower afterwards so I did that next. Both boys seemed too afraid to shower with me after I had locked Naruto out of the bathroom so they had to wait until I was done, wasting more time.</p><p>To save time, the boys took a shower together, but I'm not sure how much of themselves they actually got cleaned. There was constant yelling and crashing coming from the bathroom as I went around the hotel room in a panic trying to find all of our clothes. I slammed open the bathroom door when they were still in the midst of their shower. It looked like Sasuke-kun was in the middle of choking Naruto with a toothbrush. I didn't want to know.</p><p>"Naruto!" I shouted, ignoring what might have very well been Sasuke-kun attempting to murder him. "I can't find my bra. Where is it?"</p><p>Sasuke-kun paused in his assault and Naruto coughed up toothpaste to spit into the tub drain. "I don't know, Sakura-chan. Why are you asking me?"</p><p>"You're the one that ripped off all my clothes last night!" I looked around the bathroom. I was pretty sure my bra hadn't made it in here, though my shirt had.</p><p>"I honestly don't remember much of last night."</p><p>"You better find it right now! It's your fault it's gone!"</p><p>"I don't know where it is!"</p><p>"You probably flung it somewhere-"</p><p>"Naruto didn't lose it," Sasuke-kun interrupted me. I stared at Sasuke-kun standing still in the spray of the shower. "You asked me to take it off of you before you went to bed."</p><p>Naruto pointed at Sasuke-kun. "Ha! And you were going to let me take the blame-"</p><p>"I didn't! I said something about it! It's probably in the bed. Did you find my pants?"</p><p>"No," I answered.</p><p>Sasuke growled. "And that's <em>Naruto's</em> fault." He stormed out of the bathroom, neglecting to grab a towel to dry himself off. We had less than fifteen minutes now. I had taken a rather long shower. "This is stupid. How hard did you even look?" Sasuke-kun snapped at me and I frowned at him.</p><p>"I had nothing to do with you losing your pants, Sasuke-kun. I told you guys to stop fighting." I went back to the bed to search for my bra. Unfortunately, the article of clothing was white as well as the sheets, making it difficult to spot.</p><p>"We have another problem," I heard Sasuke-kun say. I looked over and saw he was standing in front of a mirror that hung in the room. He looked less than happy as he stared at the bruises left on his neck.</p><p>"Oh right! I was going to heal that for you!" I was putting it off because I thought Sasuke-kun looked rather cute covered in hickeys, but I knew it had to be done before we left the motel.</p><p>"You got them too," he stated.</p><p>"Oh shit." Healing myself was harder than healing Sasuke-kun. I noticed one on my neck as well, but as I lifted up my hair, I discovered they went all around the back of my neck and down my shoulder. When did that even happen?! "Naruto!"</p><p>"Naruto," Sasuke-kun growled as well, glaring at his reflection like he could scared the hickeys away.</p><p>"What?!" Naruto called from the bathroom. He walked out, heading straight to where I had left his clothes-all together, I must add- in the middle of the floor. He was the only one that hadn't lost anything. He was also the only one with unmarked skin thanks to the Nine Tails.</p><p>"I'm killing you," Sasuke-kun stated. I got busy on washing out the bruises from his skin. Naruto watched me disappointed.</p><p>"Aw, Sakura-chan but they looked so nice!" Sasuke-kun's look to Naruto could have killed him.</p><p>"It has to be done. We can't let Kakashi-sensei see." Sasuke-kun turned his head sharply back to the mirror to watch my progress.</p><p>"Psh, who cares if Kakashi-sensei sees?!" Naruto drawled.</p><p>"I do!" I stated in horror.</p><p>"Of course you would," Sasuke-kun rolled his eyes, and even Naruto seemed to catch the hidden malice in his voice. He made a face of shock at me, completely confused as I was where it was coming from.</p><p>"Kakashi-sensei finding out anything that happened tonight is almost as mortifying if my own father found out. Dammit... what would my parents think?"</p><p>"Don't tell them," Sasuke-kun said as if it was obvious. I wasn't going to tell them! But just the thought of them ever finding out somehow made me shiver with shame.</p><p>Naruto's eyes briefly went to Sasuke-kun's ass. I followed his gaze, eyes widening as I realized he was looking at the bite mark.</p><p>"Leave that one," Naruto said.</p><p>"What!?" Sasuke-kun snapped.</p><p>Naruto gave me a kiss before I could say anything. "Oh! There's Sakura-chan's bra!" He walked away from me to the bed, pulling the garment out from underneath a pillow. I wasn't sure how he was able to notice it from here. "Don't worry Teme, I'll find your stupid pants. Just give me a minute."</p><p>There was a knock on the door. "Cleaning service!" All three of us stared at each other in horror for about half a second.</p><p>"Quick, Teme! Jump out the window!" Sasuke-kun glared at Nartuo, for he was was still fully naked, holding his ripped shirt in his hand. I was in the middle of re putting my shirt on now that I had found my bra. Naruto was the only one fully dressed. "Fuck, what's that!?" He pulled Sasuke-kun's pants from underneath the bed and flung them at him. Then he went to the door to crack it open. "Sorry! Sorry! We're having a bit of a late start."</p><p>"Check out was at eleven!"</p><p>Naruto laughed nervously. "I know! I know! I'm so sorry. We'll be on our way now." Naruto turned his head over his shoulder to shift his eyes at Sasuke-kun and then the window. Once Sasuke-kun had dressed himself indignantly, shoving on his bottoms before slinging his black coat around his naked chest, he disappeared gracefully out the window.</p><p>I was trying to gather all of our things, in and out of the bathroom. Once Sasuke-kun was gone, Naruto opened the door more to let the angry looking lady poke around. I was beginning to notice the room had the strong stench of sex still attached to it. I quickly left with Naruto.</p><hr/><p>Once we found Sasusk-kun outside, I asked, "So what's the plan now?"</p><p>"We buy Sasuke some new clothes," Naruto snickered as he pointed to the tattered shirt that Sasuke-kun still held.</p><p>"We don't have time for that!" Sasuke-kun snapped. "The plan should be to look for Kakashi."</p><p>"Dude, the point of this whole trip was to force you to go clothes shopping with me, anyway." Sasuke-kun stared at Naruto for a long time, trying to figure out if he was being serious.</p><p>"I thought you wanted to see Kakashi's face."</p><p>"I want to spend <em>time </em>with you guys. Damn, why is that such a foreign concept for you?"</p><p>"Did you <em>plan-</em>"</p><p>"Guys," I interrupted. Though I was sort of speculating about Naruto, I didn't believe he was nearly clever enough to have planned out everything that had happened. "We should find Kakashi-sensei as soon as we can. He might be waiting for us at the onsen."</p><p>Naruto laughed. I rolled my eyes. Kakashi-sensei never did seem to have to wait for anyone.</p><p>"Let me see your shirt, Sasuke-kun. Maybe I can repair it." He handed it over to me. I would fix it. I had ruined it first. I couldn't believe I had ripped it while it still clung to his body.</p><p>Of course, we still had no idea where this onsen was supposed to be, and we winded up just following Naruto around to different stores and stands selling different things. We ate, we speculated, we argued and we laughed. Naruto tried to buy Sasuke-kun clothes among other things but we were able to talk him out of most of the silly or useless stuff.</p><p>The streets were rather crowed so we took to holding each other's hands to prevent us from getting lost. I was the one that grabbed onto both of the boys and they didn't protest. My left hand in Sasuke-kuns fidgeted a lot. I couldn't stop wanting to feel the friction of our skin moving together. He clutched my hand to get me to stop, annoyed with me.</p><p>Naruto only held my hand firmly and purposely.</p><p>We cleared the crowed to an opening. I headed in that direction just for some breathing room, having no idea that people were steering clear from the front of this building because of the frightening looking Leaf ANBU. I honestly hadn't noticed them with them in plain sight. The first thing I saw was the Hokage's hat.</p><p>With Kakashi-sensei's eyes on me, I ripped my hands free. Or at least I tried to. Sasuke-kun let go of me respectfully, but Naruto, the moron had still been gripping me, so my yank had just sent him to the ground.</p><p>"What perfect timing!" Kakashi-sensei announced. "I just got here myself. I'm sorry I'm late. There was a situation. But it looks like you three have been getting along." Kakashi-sensei eyed us.</p><p>"We sure have!" Naruto said with a bursting grin.</p><p>My entire body blushed pink as I cried, "Oh my God!" like Naruto had just revealed our secret. Sure, he hadn't said anything, but he didn't have to. Kakashi-sensei was beyond perceptive. He knew. He knew everything!</p><p>Sasuke-kun rolled his eyes at our obviousness.</p><p>Kakashi-sensei laughed. Because he knew. "Have you guys already checked in or have you had your escapades elsewhere?"</p><p>I let out another horrified groan.</p><p>"Stop it," Sasuke-kun hissed at me.</p><p>"Well, we sorta got lost," Naruto answered Kakashi-sensei.</p><p>"Oh I see, well lets see if they still have our reservations for us." The somewhat large entourage started to file into the onsen building, Kakashi-sensei complaining about his ANBU being too close to him.</p><p>"He knows!" I whispered harshly into my hands.</p><p>"Who cares?" Naruto uttered as he followed inside.</p><p>"Sakura, how would he even know? You're overreacting."</p><p>"Kakashi-sensei is half Inuzuka. He can probably <em>smell </em>it on us. God, I feel like I still can even after I showered forever."</p><p>Sasuke-kun and I had yet to enter the building and even though Naruto had started to, he backed out. "What? No he isn't. Kakashi-sensei doesn't have a family."</p><p>Sasuke-kun clenched his jaw. "Just because they're not alive doesn't mean they don't exist. I thought you weren't this stupid anymore!"</p><p>"But the Inuzuka!?"</p><p>"Of course. Why do you think he keeps dogs?!" I asked exasperated.</p><p>"I don't know. Because he's a dog himself?"</p><p>"I see you three are talking about me," A voice came from behind us, not at all in the direction of the building that Kakashi-sensei had disappeared into. We screamed. Well Sasuke-kun didn't scream but he did jump. Kakashi-sensei laid a hand on each of the boys shoulders, me in the middle. "Come children," he said as he escorted us inside. "Let's not make the nice onsen lady wait any longer for us than she already has."</p><p>Normally, the onsen's policy would have never let us still have our reservations, but Kakashi-sensei certainly had a way of getting people to do what he wanted. I wasn't quite sure what it was. He didn't look like he was openly flirting with anyone, like Naruto, but whatever he did, had all sorts of people swooning over him.</p><p>The atmosphere of the onsen was calming, and I soon forgot my nervousness of keeping our secret from Kakashi-sensei. Well I almost forgot. It didn't help that Naruto kept trying to touch me when he thought no one was looking. My reaction of jumping at every touch and smacking him seemed to only fuel the bad behavior but I couldn't make my body react in any other way. Sasuke-kun stared flatly at the both of us whenever it happened.</p><p>At dinner, we were seated at a table full of expensive food that I was a little afraid to touch. Sasuke-kun didn't eat much either, but of course Naruto was stuffing his face.</p><p>"Slow down there, Naruto. You're going to eat my wallet empty."</p><p>Naruto only paused long enough to say," Ha, told you Kakashi-sensei was gonna pay."</p><p>"Well he didn't have much choice with you stealing his credit card," Sasuke-kun commented bored.</p><p>"I didn't steal it! He gave it to me!"</p><p>"Credit card?" Kakashi-sensei asked confused. Sasuke-kun gave Naruto a triumphant look over him winning the argument.</p><p>"Yeah, Kakashi-sensei, tell 'em how you gave me your credit card!"</p><p>"I don't remember that..."</p><p>"This!" Naruto pulled out the card in question. He threw it on the table before Kakashi-sensei picked it up, eyebrows drawn together as he examined it. Then his face lit up. "Oh! This is Tenzo's card...! He has multiple names from being in the ANBU."</p><p>Naruto yelled out, "HA!" like he had just been proven right when he had been completely wrong.</p><p>"I must have handed it to you by accident. Ah, well."</p><p>Accident, my ass. I wondered why Kakashi-sensei even had Captain Yamtao card in the first place. Whatever the reason was, I knew he must have been abusing it.</p><p>"Did you wind up using it?"</p><p>"Only a little bit," Naruto waved. I held my breath. "Since you weren't at the restaurant we had to go somewhere else. Late as always Kakashi-sensei. You know, you being the Hokage, you should know better now. And I thought you were going to ditch the ANBU." The ABNU weren't in sight as they were hiding in the shadows, but I thought I heard one sigh in indifference.</p><p>"Well there wasn't time to. The reason why I was late is because there was a death within the village's elders and the arrangements for the funeral had to be solidified before I left."</p><p>Sasuke-kun's back straightened at this news, his fist on the table growing rigid. I took his hand, ducking it under the table so I could hold it more discretely. He squeezed my hand back. "Who was it?" he asked.</p><p>"Unfortunately both Homura and Koharu are still alive and kicking and have a fine bill of health." He gave Sasuke-kun a long look. "They shouldn't be kicking the bucket anytime soon due to any sort of sickness, poisoning, or assassination attempts, " he listed warningly. Sasuke-kun's grip on my hand became almost painful. "But who knows! After a certain point, old age just makes everything start to go all at once. In a couple of years..."</p><p>Sasuke-kun grunted.</p><p>"Then who died?" I asked.</p><p>"I don't think you would have known him. He wasn't part of the counsel but he was a follower of Homura and Koharu. We don't have many elders in Konoha because of the Shinobi life style so the funeral is turning out to be somewhat of a big deal. That generation is almost completely gone."</p><p>"Oh." Naruto stopped eating, going deep into thought. "That's kind of sad."</p><p>"It happens."</p><p>"It's kinda sad, but I'm also... kind of relieved. Not that I'm happy that anyone's dying," Naruto quickly said. "It's just... Times are changing, you know? So many of the world's problems are generations old, and since it's what people have known their whole life you can't change it easily. But like, in twenty more years, everyone in power's gonna be our age. We're gonna have the power to actually change the system, you know?"</p><p>"That is true," Kakashi-sensei said, as he put more food on his plate after his first helping mysteriously vanished. "A new generation will come. It always does."</p><p>"Sometimes," Naruto continued. "I get nervous about being Hokage because there seems to be so many issues that need to be addressed, so much backwards thinking that cause people to suffer because of tradition and of what happened a hundred years ago bull shit. But like, by the time I'm Hokage, all the people around me that are helping me, are going to be people my age, my friends, and the elders are gonna be people like you and Grandma Tsunade".</p><p>Kakashi-sensei laughed. "You know I'm not as old as Tsunade-sama, correct?"</p><p>"Whatever, you know what I mean!" Naruto looked over to Sasuke-kun and I. "We're gonna be the people that make a difference. We're gonna actually fix the problems, like the stuff Danzo pulled, or stupid horrible family traditions, those things aren't gonna fly anymore. Everything's going to change. Instead of focusing on war, we'll put more funds to hospitals and the academy. Stuff like that. The jinchurkis being kept as weapons, clans ordered to be eliminated, ignoring the skills of lesser known families, all the stuff important to us, we're gonna get fixed."</p><p>Sasuke-kun wasn't looking at anyone, him staring off into space, but I could tell he was listening to Naruto's clumsy words.</p><p>"You better believe it!" Naruto stuffed some more food in his mouth and talked around his chewing. "You guys are gonna help me right?"</p><p>Sasuke-kun smirked. "Dobe," was all he said, as if to say of course he would.</p><p>I only smiled.</p><p>Until Naruto tried to nudge me with his foot under the table. I knew he had meant to startle me again for his eyes were locked on mine, but he missed judged and touched Sasuke-kun instead, who immediately kicked him in the shin.</p><p>"Alright, after everyone is finished here we'll stop at the rooms. I'm not made of money so Naruto and Sasuke are sharing," Kakshi-sensei yawned.</p><p>"What?! How come Sakura-chan's always forced to be alone, I don't think that's fair-" I kicked Naruto again.</p><hr/><p>We relaxed at the onsen. I listened to Naruto and Sasuke-kun bicker behind the wooden bamboo wall that separated the genders of the hot springs. I wasn't finding the bickering annoying one bit. I was finding it reassuring. I wondered when that had started happening. I could tell who was who as they moved around in the water. Naruto being much louder, it was obvious when he moved his body against the wooden wall to get away from 'The Bastard'.</p><p>"You're not trying to sneak a peak, are you?" I asked lowly so that only Naruto could hear. I also happened to be right against the wall. Maybe I was just trying to be as close to them as possible.</p><p>Naruto laughed nervously. "Why would you care? I already saw you naked."</p><p>I gritted my teeth. "That's not the point. The point is you're doing it without permission and that's disrespectful!"</p><p>"Well, do I have your permission?"</p><p>I blushed. "It's not like you can see much anyway," I said, up to my neck in the bath salted water. I gave a start when I saw a blue eye looking through a hole in the wood that I hadn't realized was there.</p><p>"Are you lonely over there all by yourself?" Naruto asked in a whisper.</p><p>I laughed. "I can hear you guys just fine. I know you're there."</p><p>"Okay, Sakura-chan," I heard the smile in his voice as he pulled his face away. His index finger slid through the hole and he gave it a wave. "You're right, we're right over here."</p><p>I don't know what possessed me to do it, but I leaned over and kissed Naruto's finger. Once he felt my lips, he stopped moving it around, the finger growing lax at me touch. Then I covered it with my mouth, giving it a playful suck.</p><p>"Shit."</p><p>"Dobe, what are you doing?" Naruto quickly pulled his finger free from my mouth.</p><p>"N-nothing!"</p><p>"Kakashi's asleep. We should wake him up so he can go to bed."</p><p>"Ha! Being the Hokage's a tiring job! Okay, I'm coming."</p><hr/><p>Kakashi-sensei retied to his room and I headed to my own, hugging the comfy robe provided by the onsen to my body. My eyes were heavy from the day, the steam of the water making me sleepy. I let them fall for maybe half a second and didn't notice Naruto until he had me suddenly pinned to a wall, kissing my mouth. I moaned into the kiss, it feeling too good for me to get mad at him.</p><p>He broke off the kiss to whisper "I've been holding that in all day," he grinned. I blinked lazily at him, too relax and content to argue. "Sleep with us."</p><p>"Kakash-"</p><p>"-is sleeping. Come on. Sasuke doesn't cuddle."</p><p>Sasuke-kun smacked Naruto on the back of the head. I hadn't noticed him there either. "Stop fooling around." And Naruto pulled me into their room without my answer.</p><p>He dragged me into his sleeping mat as Sasuke-kun was still shuffling around the room, pulling the covers around me and nuzzling me with his nose. "Settle down," I groaned. "I'm sleepy." Naruto ignored my complaining as he laid a wet kiss on my neck, swirling his tongue around until it tickled. I let out a loud laugh.</p><p>Naruto shushed me with a grin.</p><p>Sasuke-kun turned out the light, and in the dark he must have crawled over to us because he was soon kissing me too. He even let Naruto kiss him. There was a strange heaviness in the air as all three of us stuck to each other in order to be able to fit on the small sleeping mat. We lazily touched each other, slowly and lovingly and unusually quiet. It was so much different than the other night with our desperate passion. Last night we were drunk. Last night could have been a weird thing that wouldn't happen again because of the alcohol.</p><p>But Sasuke-kun hadn't been drunk.</p><p>And what was this? This wasn't sex. This was what?</p><p>"I wish I had two arms," Naruto whispered. "So I could hold both of you." My jaw became tight.</p><p>This was love. We were in love.</p><p>"You shouldn't have blown one of them off then," I said scolding, because I wasn't sure if I could handle this much love, love from two people, love for two people. Why did my jaw ache?</p><p>I turned to kiss someone, my mouth landed on a shoulder. I pressed my mouth hard against it to relieve the pressure. Someone was combing his fingers through my hair, his breath on the back of my neck, reassuring me that this was alright. It was okay.</p><p>We could all love each other. We all did love each other. We had to, this was our happily ever after.</p><p>The rest of our stay at the onsen was like this; calming togetherness. During the day, Naruto flirted with the both of us, completely not caring who saw. It was annoying so I didn't heal his broken nose when Sasuke-kun punched him for trying to kiss him in the hot spring. At least not until nightfall again when I forgot to be mad at him. I continued to sneak into their room, sleeping with them, occasionally having slow quiet sex with either one when whoever had the energy. I'd listen to Naruto and Kakashi-sensei talk about politics with Sasuke-kun and I was happy.</p><hr/><p>Then the vacation ended.</p><p>And so did happily ever after.</p><p>Happily ever after is misleading because 'ever after' sounds a lot like 'forever'. You're supposed to be happy forever. But that's not the case. Happily ever after only promises happiness after. After what? Who knows. Perhaps after death because then you can't be alive to suffer anymore. Naruto, Sasuke-kun and I always being together wasn't our happily ever after. I found this out the day after we had returned from the onsen, and Naruto came to my parents' door, ramming his fist hard, face soaked with tears and swearing at everything that moved.</p><p>"What the hell's wrong?" I asked alarmed at his condition.</p><p>He sniffled, rubbing the snot leaking from his nose with the back of his hand. "He's leaving. He's leaving us again!"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Here's a short chapter...! Before I ruin this story.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Naruto ranted and hollered about how he had been arguing with Sasuke-kun all night. There was nothing he could do or say that would change Sasuke-kun's mind. Sasuke-kun was leaving.</p><p>I felt my world crashing down around me the more Naruto spoke. The three of us, the quaint, strange little picture that only worked because of how out of the box it was, the answer to everything, was an answer to nothing. It wasn't working. Why should I have ever thought otherwise?</p><p>Naruto was the only person that could convince Sasuke-kun into staying. Part of me wanted to yell at Naruto, tell him to march his ass right back to Sasuke-kun and try again, harder and better, even though I knew it was useless. Naruto always tried his hardest. He always put in his all. Him failing wasn't because he was being lazy. It was because all of this, the idea, was too sick to begin with.</p><p>I could see how upset Naruto was just by looking at him. He didn't lose his cool like this too often anymore. He was too busy not giving up to cry about it. He was doubting himself. That's what made everything so more terrifying.</p><p>We were heading to the Hokage's office, because there was a sliver of chance that Sasuke-kun wasn't legally allowed to leave the village alone. It was the only thing the two of us could come up with.</p><p>"He keeps saying he doesn't belong here. That he doesn't deserve shit. He doesn't make any sense. I can't talk sense into him. I've never been good at talking. I can only just beat the crap out of him. That's the only reason why he's here. I beat him up and he had no choice but to come back here because I forced him. He doesn't want to be here. He doesn't want to be with us. He doesn't want to be with me."</p><p>"Naruto... Maybe we're overreacting," I said, trying to blink my own tears out of my eyes, but all I could think about was that Sasuke-kun had explained that there was nothing between the three of us. It wasn't supposed to continue. It wasn't him that blurted out he was in love, but me and drunken Naruto. It wasn't him that started any of this. He had only been caught up in the middle. It had all happened because of Naruto and I.</p><p>We got to the Hokage's office, dodging all the procedures of security and making a meeting first. If Naruto had been anyone other than Naruto, all his cursing and yelling would have most likely gotten him thrown into jail.</p><p>"Naruto, what on earth is the problem?" Kakashi-sensie asked from his desk, Naruto just finishing cursing out an ANBU for some sort of sly comment he made about Sasuke-kun. I hadn't heard what it was. If I had, I probably would have punched the shinobi through the wall.</p><p>"Sasuke's leaving!" Naruto blurted out.</p><p>"I know," Kakashi-sensie replied calmly with his hands folding on the top of his desk.</p><p>"Isn't... Isn't he like not allowed to or something?" Naruto's voice cracked over the sentence.</p><p>"As of right now, no he is not. He is not allowed to leave the village alone, but permission has been submitted, and once the paperwork is looked over, it will be weighed and thought through if Sasuke will be allowed to leave on his own. He is a rogue ninja but his actions from the war could give him forgiveness. Orochimaru has already been given pardon because of his deeds. It will be unlikely Sasuke will be denied."</p><p>"First off!" Naruto shouted pointing his finger dramatically. "Orochimaru being allowed to do what he pleases with just a small slap on the wrist is utter crap! What's he even doing?! More sick experiments!? He kidnapped Sasuke!"</p><p>Kakashi-sensie's expression did not change from its normal lazy collected-ness. "Orochimaru is being monitored to ensure that he is no longer practicing on live humans, and he has proof that all past human subjects had signed a waiver so there isn't much we can do about that. Especially since the majority of this was done outside of any village but his own. Also, Orochimaru did not kidnap Sasuke. Sasuke left freely with him."</p><p>"Bullshit!" Naruto rammed his fist on Kakashi-sensei's desk. "He killed the Third Hokage. That's not un-punishable!"</p><p>"Well technically that was deemed as a sacrificial suicide at the trial."</p><p>Naruto cried out with his arm in the air.</p><p>Kakashi-sensei stared back at Naruto balefully. "You know the real reason why we're keeping Orochimaru happy."</p><p>"And that's fucked up too, ya know!? We need him as an ally!? As a weapon or something?! Shit like that's gotta change. We gotta change it so we don't ever need to do sketchy shit like that ever again!"</p><p>"I'm doing the best I can Naruto. We've already discussed this. Besides, didn't you say everyone deserves a chance to be forgiven? Orochimaru has already done a number of community services-"</p><p>"Fucking bastard is just fucking with us! That's why!"</p><p>Kakashi-sensie sighed. "We are getting off topic. I know that the real issue here is Sasuke. What's the matter Naruto? You begged and fought to give Sasuke back his freedom and now that he has it you want to take it away from him again?"</p><p>"Because!" Naruto sobbed. "He wasn't supposed to leave again!"</p><p>"You know very well that you can't force a person to do something that they just don't want to do."</p><p>"No, Kakashi-sensei, you don't understand." Naruto began to pace back and forth. I stood there, broken. "Sasuke's too damn stubborn to let himself be happy! He'd be happy here! But he's just too much of a fucking bastard to admit it. That God damn asshole! He won't admit that he loves us, but he does! I know he does!"</p><p>"Naruto," Kakashi-sensei stopped him. "You can still care about your friends even if they're not with you."</p><p>"We're not friends," Naruto stated coldly before motioned us with a circle of his arm. "Where a family. We have to stay together because we're a family. People aren't meant to be alone. That's why they get married and have children and shit. We love Sasuke, and Sasuke loves us! We're a fucking family!"</p><p>Kakashi-sensei sighed again, rubbing his eyes with his fingers.</p><p>"You have to talk to him, Kakashi-sensei. You have to knock some sense into him. Tell him its okay that he loves us, because he's not gonna believe it coming from me or Sakura-chan."</p><p>"Naruto, Sakura, you three are all adults now, and you're shinobi. You should be able to handle your problems without me. Talk to Sasuke yourselves. I'm not your sensei anymore."</p><p>"No you are!" Naruto slapped his hand on the desk. "You are and you will always will be! Until you're dead!"</p><p>Kakashi-sensei looked slightly alarmed by Naruto's declaration, clearing thinking that this was not what he had signed up for when he agreed to train a few genin ninja all those years ago.</p><p>"Some... stuff happened," Naruto started. "Like awkward stuff. Well not really. It wasn't awkward, but stuff definitely happened and because the stuff happened, we need an outside person to talk to him, otherwise, Sasuke's just gonna say that Sakura-chan and my feelings are making are brains too cloudy to think right!"</p><p>"What stuff are you talking about Naruto?"</p><p>I held my breath, giving Naruto an alarmed look. Naruto stepped away, stuffing his hand into his pocket and looking embarrassed for the first time in a long time. "I can't tell you that for privacy reasons, Kakashi-sensei."</p><p>"And I don't know how to help you. You want me to just take away his pardon and lock him back up? It's too late for that now."</p><p>"That's not what we want." Naruto gave me a desperate look, begging me to explain the situation.</p><p>I took a deep breath. "What Naruto means to say, is that Sasuke-kun may be making a decision he'll regret based on a situation that could have had him emotionally out of bounds." Naruto seemed impressed with my large word choice, but Kakashi-sensei was not.</p><p>"Then that's something he needs to figure out himself. He can always come back if he so wishes it. We're not banning him from coming back to the village. That's the whole reason for the pardon."</p><p>Right. Sasuke-kun could come back. If he wanted to. But he was a stubborn bastard.</p><p>Kakashi-sensei convinced us that the only hope of us getting what we wanted was to talk to Sasuke ourselves, as adults.</p>
<hr/><p>We didn't move as fast to Sasuke-kun's living arrangements as the Hokage's office, because I was trailing behind. Naruto was storming ahead, but he kept having to stop to wait for me. I was really banking on Kakashi-sensei of being more help. I've never been able to convince Sasuke-kun of anything in my life.</p><p>At Sasuke-kun's door, Naruto rammed as loudly as usual but with more anger. There was a muffled "Go away," from the other side of the door.</p><p>Naruto knocked even louder. "Sakura-chan's here!" he shouted. "Tell it to her face that you're running off again! It's the last decent thing you could possibly do at this rate! Are you a complete heartless jerk!?"</p><p>The door cracked open. I barely saw Sasuke-kun's mouth and the end of his nose as he simply said, "I'm leaving," before trying to close the door again. Naruto got his good shoulder in the way before it could latch.</p><p>"Oh no you don't! Do it properly! Come on Sakura, get in here." Naruto grabbed me as he shoved his way through the house. My eyes locked on Sasuke-kun, afraid that this could be the last time I would ever see him. I tried to remember every detail all at once, so much so that I couldn't really see anything. Oh wait, that was because my eyes were watering. "Tell her Sasuke! Tell her how you're breaking our <em>hearts!</em>"</p><p>"Why don't you just tell her!"</p><p>"I'm not going to do this for you," Naruto said in a low growling, angry, hurt voice.</p><p>Sasuke-kun's eyes landed on me with a look of panic that was only there for half a second. Then he was the Sasuke that he had always been. "I'm leaving the village, Sakura."</p><p>My breath hitched as a sob threatened to escape.</p><p>"Tell her why!" Naruto demanded.</p><p>"The both of you should know why."</p><p>I shook my head, eyes squeezed tight. "I don't. I never did, and I never will!"</p><p>"Stop it," Sasuke-kun uttered, halting my sobs on the spot. "You're being annoying."</p><p>My heart froze. It was happening again, Sasuke-kun leaving me over and over. It always happened the same way. I was annoying. Perhaps it was this one great fault of mine that continued to chase Sasuke-kun away. My head couldn't wrap around how silly the thought was. I was too busy reliving every time he had ever left me.</p><p>"I can't stay here. I don't belong here. I'm just going to bring the both of you down."</p><p>"That's fucking-"</p><p>"It doesn't matter how much the two of you can accept me." Sasuke interrupted Naruto. "Most of the village doesn't and never will. You can try to force them. They might even try to pretend that they do, but they won't."</p><p>"You think we fucking care!?" Naruto shouted. "My whole life's been about people judging me, and hating me! You think being associated with you is gonna make a fuck of difference!?"</p><p>"Naruto's right," I said, my voice gaining back its strength. "Besides. The people already know how we are closely knitted together. It's a bond that won't be broken. We had to deal with it when we refused to give up searching for you. We'll have to deal with it even if you're not here, because our feelings for you won't change and we won't hide the fact."</p><p>"Exactly!" Naruto chimed in. "Where always going to be Team Seven, no matter where you go. We're always going to be that fucked up team. It's okay. We accepted that."</p><p>"That's not... That's not what I'm saying," Sasuke-kun shook his head. "It's so much more than that. It's not just because of Team Seven. What do you two expect if I stay here?"</p><p>I expected Naruto to blurt something out instantly but he didn't. I pressed my lips together. I didn't really so much care what happened if Sasuke-kun stayed. I knew things could very easily get complicated. Anything could turn sour, but I was preparing myself for whatever end I thought might happen by Sasuke-kun staying. I might be crushed by Sasuke-kun's decision, but I was sure that his happiness would lesson such pain. If he winded up choosing Naruto over me that was okay. If he simply stated that we couldn't be more than platonic with all three of us, that would be okay. As long as he was here. As long as I could see him be happy.</p><p>Finally Naruto found his voice. "To be together."</p><p>"Be together how?"</p><p>"Why does it matter?"</p><p>"Because it does matter. Naruto, you're not the kind of person who can hide what you feel. Just by looking at you people know exactly what you're thinking."</p><p>"That's not-"</p><p>"And for Sakura," Sasuke-kun tilted his head toward me. "She could be forgiven for having a crush on me when we were kids, but she's also too obvious. Her voice changes when she talks to either of us and she does that thing with her head."</p><p>"Wait, what thing with my head?" I blinked.</p><p>Naruto turned to me, staring at me for a second. "Yeah, but Sasuke that doesn't have to mean anything. Any girl-"</p><p>"What thing with my head!?"</p><p>Naruto stopped, before running his hand through his hair. "You sometimes do this cute little head tilt thing when you talk to us."</p><p>"I do not!"</p><p>"I mean you do it way more to Sasuke than to me. And not all the time." He turned back to Sasuke. "She doesn't do it all the time! And besides, I don't see what that's got-"</p><p>"Because. What are people going to think? People love to gossip and if her having a relationship with a traitor isn't disgraceful enough, what will they think if they start to suspect you're also involved-which they will," Sasuke-kun added while Naruto was opening his mouth to say something, "by reading your face. They might pity her, if it was just me. They might think, she's too stupid and young to realize that love can't fix a person like me, but with you involve it changes their perspective in thinking she's just a slut that doesn't give a fuck who she's with."</p><p>"You take all that back right now before I shove my fist all the way up your ass! Apologize to her!"</p><p>"That's what the people are going to think. You could make every single one of them forcefully apologize to her but it wouldn't fix the damn problem. You want Sakura to have to deal with that? Because I wouldn't be able to stand it. I would fucking murder someone."</p><p>That got Naruto to shut up for a moment.</p><p>Sasuke continued. "And for you? Not only are you in this sexual polygamous relationship, it involves a man no less, a traitorous untrustworthy man who you are so willing to share carnal pleasures with. Are people going to want that for a Hokage? Are they going to trust and follow someone so reckless and heinous?"</p><p>"It's nobodies business. We don't have to tell-"</p><p>"Don't you want a family Naruto? Don't you want kids? You've told me so. How's that gonna work?" He looked at me. "You too, Sakura. I know you've talked about raising a family as well." I blushed, because I had only had ever talked about raising Sasuke-kun's children, and never directly to Sasuke-kun himself.</p><p>"It could work-"</p><p>"How? Sakura baring the both of our children? Without marrying one of us? Have our bastard children never knowing who their father is for the sake of face? Or if she marries one of us, and then she has a child that looks too much like the other? People will find out. She can't marry both of us. It's illegal. It's also illegal for you and I to get married."</p><p>"When I'm Hokage-"</p><p>"You're gonna change the laws? There's a reason it's illegal, Naruto. People don't like it. And people will always not like it and the problems will never go away."</p><p>We were all silent. I knew. I knew Sasuke-kun was right. I had known that there was no future for the three of us since the beginning. It was just such an attractive idea to believe in Naruto. I had always believed in Naruto. It was a natural thing for me to do, even in the most impossible situations.</p><p>"I don't have to have kids," Naruto finally said. "There's other Uzumakis out there... somewhere. I'm fine with that. You though. You should carry out your bloodline. You deserve to have a family again. I know you miss it, right? Just try it again. You'll be happy again. I don't have to interfere too much. Hell, I don't need to be apart of it at all. I'll step back. Just stay. Please stay."</p><p>Sasuke-kun's face was expressionless, but I could see him shaking just ever so slightly.</p><p>"But Naruto," I sobbed. I couldn't stand it. I couldn't stand seeing the both of them suffering like this.</p><p>"It's fine," Naruto waved his hand. "I'm used to being alone anyway."</p><p>"Shut the fuck up," Sasuke-kun snapped. "You're not used to it. You were born not used to it. I can't accept this from either one of you. I don't deserve it. The Uchiha bloodline doesn't deserve it. I can't stay here." Sasuke-kun covered his face with his hand. "I can't forgive myself. Every time I look at you two, Naruto's missing arm, the lost look in both of your eyes. It keeps reminding me everything I did to you. It makes me want to die."</p><p>"No." Naruto said stubbornly, shaking his head and clenching his fist. "No one's gonna feel that way. No one's gonna be unhappy. We're work together and fix this."</p><p>"I need to fix myself Naruto. I need to leave to find myself," Saskue-kun said staring at nothing. "Listen. If I ... get better. If I think I'll deserve to ever be in the presence of you two or inside this village ever again, I'll come back. If I ever think I'm forgivable, I'll come back, and maybe help you make this place the way you say it should be."</p><p>"And what if you're too stubborn to forgive yourself?!"</p><p>Sasuke-kun paused, and I had that frozen fear. The fear that Sasuke-kun would hurt himself if he was alone and not being watched. He then answered, "Then I'm gone for good."</p><p>"That's fucking-"</p><p>"Take it or leave it."</p><p>Naruto swore under his breath and turned away violently, ramming his fist into the door.</p><p>"Okay," I announced. Both Naruto and Sasuke-kun seemed surprised with my agreeing. "Sasuke needs to find himself outside the village. It's something he needs to fix on his own. Only ourselves control our destinies. Fearing that Sasuke-kun won't come back is the same as doubting him, which is the same as not believing in him. I believe in him. He's coming back."</p><p>I saw Sasuke-kun staring back at me with a strange sort of look. After considering it for several moments, I realized it was relief. I knew it wasn't relief that I had granted him permission in leaving. He would have done it anyway, and he was not the type of person that cared if other people didn't like his decisions. It was because I had declared that he would come back. Sasuke-kun had said something to me the other night, that he needed me to care about him. He needed my faith in him because it was the way he gauged his self worth. Even if I was afraid that he wouldn't make it, I couldn't let him see. I couldn't let him see that I was the fool yet again.</p><p>"Of course he's coming back," Naruto said rolling his eyes. "He's just gonna owe us so big when he gets back. So big. Like every day for the rest of his life big."</p><p>Sasuke-kun smirked.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I had agreed on Sasuke-kun's leaving. Because I had agreed, Naruto agreed. It had made the decision so final, and as we all parted ways from each other I found myself regretting agreeing at all. Sasuke-kun would have left anyway, but if Naruto was still against it, maybe, somehow, it wouldn't have happened.</p><p>Sasuke-kun would leave early in the morning. I had set my alarm to make sure I didn't miss seeing him off. As I laid awake in bed, I was beginning to realize that the alarm would be for nothing because there was no way I was falling asleep tonight.</p><p>Everything would be alright. Maybe this journey would really help Sasuke-kun. He needed the help. He was broken. I didn't know where he planned on going, or what he planned on doing out there. Perhaps he had no plan yet either. Maybe he was going out there to learn, train himself, meet new people.</p><p>I swallowed at the thought of Sasuke-kun meeting new people. But he already had the opportunity to meet new people and he still had come back. After Naruto had dragged him back of course. What if we gave him a time limit? What if he couldn't be gone longer than a year this time? Or what about several months? Or maybe just a week.</p><p>Tear rolled down my cheeks and into my ears. A week was still too long. A day was too long. A second was too long.</p><p>I sat up, my gaze going over to the box I kept photographs. I had pulled it out the other day to reminisce on our younger days and never put it back. What would I do with myself with Sasuke-kun gone again? Train more? I could always learn more in medical ninjutsu as Tsunade-sama would say, but I was honestly finding it hard to locate new research material. I was already so far ahead of all my peers and a lot of the other adults. I could work on my chakra control but I could only do that for so long before I destroyed another training ground. Maybe I needed a journey as well.</p><p>What if I went with Sasuke-kun!?</p><p>My breath quickened from excitement over the idea. I would be able to learn so much if I could finally leave this village to train. Naruto and Sasuke-kun already had the opportunity a dozen of times. It was my turn now. And to be with Sasuke-kun, maybe he could teach me a thing or two.</p><p>Of course going off with Sasuke-kun alone without Naruto seemed somewhat unfair. I was sure Naruto would be ecstatic with the idea of the three of us going on a journey together. He'd probably see it as another vacation. Naruto loved going to new places.<br/>But Naruto couldn't really afford leaving the village now for a long period of time. He still had the chunin exams to pass. And he had gotten quite involved with reorganizing the village and the new coming changes that had been happening after the end of the war. He wouldn't want to be away from the village for too long.</p><p>Also, selfishly, I didn't really want Naruto to be there either. I always had the unpleasant feeling that Sasuke-kun favored Naruto over me. Naruto was always taking up Sasuke-kun's attention. That was what Naruto did, like a black hole sucking up everything. Sasuke-kun said he was attracted to me, but I wondered if that was all I was to him. Perhaps that was all Naruto was to Sasuke-kun as well, but deep down I knew that wasn't true. The two of them had been through too much together. Sasuke-kun cared about me as a friend, but I didn't think he was in love with me. Not as much as I was in love with him. And I had wanted to change that. I wanted to make him fall in love with me. That had been my goal since I was seven years old. And Naruto was always in the way.</p><p>I stood up in my dark bedroom, pacing back and forth a bit. If I left with Sasuke-kun, I couldn't tell Naruto. I didn't have the courage or strength to face his reaction. If I was gone before he knew, there was nothing he could do about it, and when I came back he would forgive me. Naruto always forgave me. It wasn't that I was stealing Saskue-kun from Naruto. I was just borrowing him for a while. Just so that Sasuke-kun would grow to respect and care for me like he did for Naruto.</p><p>I couldn't ask Sasuke-kun. Sasuke-kun would say no. He always said no.</p><p>I turned on the light to my vanity to look at the mirror. My hair was tousled from laying in bed, and I pushed it back with my fingers. I peered at my figure through my lashes in the dim light. Sasuke-kun desired me. That was the first step. I needed to use that to my advantage, to get him to agree to have me coming along. At the most, I would be someone he could sleep with at night. I would help him with his loneliness and keep away unwanted company.</p><p>And with me along side of him, he would get to know me. Maybe he could love me. Naruto loved me. I could be loved, couldn't I?</p><p>I opened the window and left the house without shoes or jacket. I leapt from building and tree stealthily until I reached the government houses. Sasuke-kun's front door was of course locked. I tried it anyway before padding my way to the side of the building where I knew his bedroom was. I was hoping that the window would be open but it was chilly tonight, and I doubted Sasuke-kun would keep windows open, too cautious to let such an easy entrance to his abode.</p><p>Yet the window was open. I could see the curtains blowing sightly as I crept to it. Before I was less than a foot away, I heard his voice halting me in my tracks.</p><p>"Sakura."</p><p>I didn't know what to say. I didn't think this part through. What was I even planning on doing? Just sneaking into his bed without him knowing and sexing him up in his sleep? Yeah, that was the plan, wasn't it?</p><p>"What are you doing here?"</p><p>Why was I here? To prove myself. "I couldn't sleep," I said. What a lame excuse. Then I added, "I miss you," desperately. I heard Sasuke-kun sigh but the window stayed open. The floor creaked from his weight and I hesitantly moved aside the curtain to see him.</p><p>He was standing away from the window, not looking at me, as if he was giving me space to climb in. I did so, and he shut the window behind me.</p><p>It was warm in the bedroom, dark with just a mattress on the floor, the blankets unmade. Sasuke-kun's belongings were all packed neatly in the corner of the room, ready for tomorrow.</p><p>He was only dressed in a pair of loose fitting shorts that didn't look quite right on him, staring at the closed curtains. Neither of us said anything. I stood in the awkward silence, looking to the mattress and then back to Sasuke-kun. After a moment, I worked up the courage to sit on the corner of the bed, and only then did Sasuke-kun move from the window. He didn't say a word as he laid back down, not bothering with the blanket and sheets as he laid on his side, eyes open.</p><p>I crawled behind him, still too afraid to touch him until I was fully settled. I waited for five heartbeats. Enough time that maybe Sasuke-kun could have fallen back to sleep, though I knew that he hadn't. Then my hand snaked up his shoulder, squeezing the muscle before rubbing his neck. He didn't protest so I pulled his shoulder, making him lay on his back. Then I took a hold of his chin and I kissed him on the mouth.</p><p>Sasuke-kun didn't fight me, and I felt his hand on my waist as I laid all of my weight on his form, kissing him with the love I had just for him.</p><p>I pulled away from him for breath, Sasuke-kun's face lazily tilted up, lips parted and eyes half lidded. "I love you," I whispered.</p><p>Sasuke-kun put his hand on my head and guided me back down to his mouth without answer. He no longer seemed annoyed with my confessions, as he was used to it now. But he still ignored them.</p><p>He kissed me slowly. I had a thought that maybe him kissing me slow and long was only to keep me distracted so I wouldn't keep annoying him with foolish words and pleas. Gradually the kiss sped up and I was caught up in the passion he created. Passion he gave birth to in order to simply appease me, to control me. Because he would never let me escape this drowning bog of desire that I had created all for him.</p><p>He flipped me so I was on my back, him towering and imposing over me. This wasn't exactly how I wanted things to go. I wanted to be the one in control for once. I wanted to be the one that made him weak in the knees. Otherwise nothing would change. I would still be that poor Haruno girl chasing after Uchiha Sasuke as he left me yet again.</p><p>With only a bit of extra chakra to help me, I suddenly twisted my hips, holding Sasuke-kun with my thighs before sending his back to return onto the mattress and gripping him with my knees to stay on top.<br/>Sasuke-kun laid on his back, his one arm useless now beside him as he stared at me in shocked surprise. He was confused. I could tell by his expression which would have been amusing if I had any time to care. Sasuke-kun never seemed to understand the physical power that I possessed, no matter how many times he had seen it. It was about time that he start understanding.</p><p>The both of us were breathing heavy, though my breaths were far more harsh, tied up with my emotions. I saw Sasuke-kun swallow but he didn't voice his question. The question of, what the hell was I doing.</p><p>I was making him love me.</p><p>I placed a hand over Sasuke-kun's mouth. I don't know why. It wasn't to silence him as he wouldn't have used the energy to speak to me.</p><p>I lifted one knee, putting my weight over Sasuke-kun's mouth. With my free hand I ripped down his shorts. He winced as the fabric mercilessly ran under his back side from the force. Sure, the cloth caused a burn that probably induced some sort of pain, but I was surprised that Sasuke-kun would wince to something as trivial as that. He would never do so much in front of Naruto. I was finally alone with Sasuke without Naruto, though such moments hardly ever lasted. This was my chance to extract the truth from him before Naruto exploded into the scene. My eyes went around the room for a millisecond, half expecting Naruto to appear in any moment.</p><p>I pulled the shorts down just enough to free him, slightly disappointed that he wasn't as erect as I was hoping. That was fine. It would be soon enough. I shimmed myself down one of Sasuke-kun's legs. I saw Sasuke-kun lift his hand but I grabbed it and held it down. He raised his other arm, seemingly forgetting that he had no other hand until he gave up and let the severed arm fall.</p><p>I removed my hand from his mouth so I could grab onto his cock. I didn't give him time to protest before I covered him with my lips, sucking to get him as hard as fast as possible.</p><p>I had never heard Sasuke-kun make that noise before. A strangled yelp, his body desperately trying to fight off my super human strength. I didn't have to worry about accidentally choking myself on him as he was helpless to move at all. I took my time lathering him with spit, deciding to use my tongue and keep him out of my mouth for the time being to rest my jaw. I didn't know how long this was going to take. I was still inexperienced and I had yet to cause a man to become undone with just my mouth alone. I memorized the taste of him, the feel of him on my tongue, and oh lord the smell of him.</p><p>"Sakura..." His voice held warning but I ignored him. He deserved it for ignoring me all this time. "Let go of me."</p><p>Out of all the things Sasuke-kun could have chosen to be annoyed over with, it was me immobilizing him, that won me that beautiful death glare of his. Not the sneaking into his room, or me throwing myself onto him. Not my desperation, clinginess or acting insane. Of course not. Not if he was getting laid. Discovering that Sasuke-kun was very much a man like anyone else was still strange to me. I didn't release he wrist. He was surely enjoying himself now as he was fully hard. Just the tip of him seem to fill my mouth and was delicious. I let the hand not holding onto him roam his body, fingernails dancing over his taunt skin, running over every muscle I could reach. Sasuke-kun moved beneath me. He wasn't allowed to. I held his hip, fingers digging into the tendons beneath his pelvis bone. By the slight flinch he made I knew that it must have hurt him. My eyes flashed dangerously to his face. It was almost fear that looked back at me but my Sasuke-kun never showed fear.</p><p>With our eyes still locked, I took in only about a half an inch more into my mouth. Sasuke-kun actually whined, the eye contact breaking as I defeated him. I felt him trying to push up with his hips but he couldn't move with me holding him down.</p><p>I let him pop out between my lips, my mouth still parted as my breath hit his skin. "Behave," I growled.</p><p>Sasuke-kun gave me a look of bewilderment, obviously thinking that it was me that wasn't behaving, but too stunned for any words to voice such an observation. I rubbed my face over his erection, letting it press against the side of my nose and then pull my bottom lip down from the movement. My back arched, with my rear sticking right up in the air on all fours. I must have looked like some sort of slut on a cover for a porn video. I was beyond feeling any shame from it. I was in too deep.</p><p>I decided I was ready. Okay. Relax. I slowly moved my mouth over him, feeling the tip of him reach the back of my throat. I pressed harder, seeing if I could move it even farther. I couldn't get it to budge with the angle of my neck, but Sasuke-kun's moan was more than encouragement. It was a short moan. Like he was willing the noise not to exist. I pulled him out, letting my tongue swirl around the head on the way. I heard Sasuke-kun's breath hitch at that so I repeated it over and over.</p><p>Sasuke-kun's noises quietened until they became nonexistent. The only clue reveling the effort it took to be silent was the grip he now had on the hand that restrained him. I had been using his noises to help me know what he was enjoying, but he was being stuborn. I listened anyway. I felt like I could hear the pounding blood in his veins, feel its throb in my mouth.</p><p>Eventually I heard him say. "How long is this going to be?" in a tight voice.</p><p>I lifted my head, chasing away the hurt that such rude uninterested words gave way to. Sasuke-kun was always rude, but I knew deep down that it wasn't because he intended to be so. "Until you cum," I answered annoyed.</p><p>Sasuke-kun was busy staring at the ceiling. I saw his jaw clench his teeth, as if he was grudgingly accepting his fate. My hand slid down to his base and between his legs, its only purpose to see if Sasuke-kun would let me touch him in his most private of areas. I felt his hand grip mine even harder, but he let me do what I pleased. I continued my work, bobbing my head up and down slowly, pushing him as deep as I could. He forced himself silent, but I could feel his member growing more ridged and twitching in my throat.</p><p>He gave no warning as he came, the liquid warm and hitting the back of my esophagus. I had been expecting it though. I was starting to learn his taste from the salty precum that he was producing. I knew he was close when that alone seemed to be filling my mouth with its flavor. I was able to suppress gagging, pushing the liquid to pool around my mouth first before swallowing. It was slightly unsettling, like drinking warm milk, but I came to realize the only unsettling thing about it was that it was warm. It didn't necessarily taste bad.</p><p>It took me two swallows to get it all down. I wiped my face with my hand as I sat up. I could feel my lips were swollen from the activity. They tingled at my touch.</p><p>I realized Sasuke-kun was now staring at me. His mismatched eyes wide as if he couldn't believed that I had accomplished my task. I looked away, trying to appear indifferent and sexy at the same time. Like it was no big deal. I couldn't help wonder if I had done better than Naruto though. Sasuke-kun had been so still, and much too quiet.</p><p>"Are you going to sleep now, or will you leave?"<br/>I turned my attention back to Sasuke-kun. If I didn't know better, it almost sounded like hope in Sasuke-kun's voice, like he wished for me to stay.</p><p>"Neither," I answered.</p><p>I saw Sasuke-kun's eyes narrow, getting ready to argue with me. Instead I cast my gaze down to Sasuke-kun's softening penis. I placed my hands on either side of his hips, feeling his circulatory system with my chakra. "What are you doing?" His heart was still beating fairly fast, and I felt it speed up with my meddling. I could still faintly feel chemicals of hormones in his system. I began to stimulate them, at the same time forcing his arteries to relax before closing up the veins again. Sasuke-kun jerked underneath me. "What did you do!?"</p><p>"I gave you an erection." Maybe I had no knowledge on how to control the body's brain mentally like Sasuke-kun could do with his Sharingan, but I could certainly manipulate the body physically. "How many times did you make me orgasm that one night?" He knew which night. The one with Naruto in the shower.</p><p>Sasuke-kun glared at me. "I don't remember."</p><p>Bullshit. "You better start remembering because this is going to be pay back."</p><p>I saw the Sharigan flicker in his dark eye. "That's ridiculous." Ha, again Sasuke-kun was under estimating me. I closed my eyes and grinned, feeling Sasuke-kun's nervousness floating off of his body. Sure, there was no telling what could happen to the body if abused too much. Sasuke-kun always did run the risk of losing too much chakra. But I had more than enough chakra for the both of us.</p><p>I slipped my shirt off before throwing it at Sasuke-kun's face. "No cheating," I said, leaning forward to tie the shirt around Sasuke-kun's head so he couldn't get me with any genjutsus. It would be difficult for me to ever win against Sasuke-kun in a fight, but he had too many handicaps now. I was going to win this time.<br/>As I finished the rough knot in the shirt, I could feel Sasuke-kun's breath leave his mouth and nose harshly against my face. At first I thought maybe it was from anger that I had the gall to do any of this. A second later I realized it was from excitement. This was turning him on.</p><p>He leaned over to kiss me, all teeth and fiery passion. For a second I wondered if this sudden change was because I took away his sight. Maybe he was thinking of me as someone else. Maybe Naruto.<br/>I felt Sasuke-kun's hand clutch the back of my head, my heart leaping in a small fit. And then I heard him mumble my name against my mouth.</p><p>Sasuke-kun never used any suffixes when saying anyone's name. He chose to state things simply. My name sounded deep and monotone whenever it did escape his lips. There was no infliction on the syllables, except sometimes perhaps a lazier drawl at the beginning of "Sa" before ending the name harshly in its completion. When Naruto said my name, there was no denying the affection in his voice. I used to find it annoying and then later comforting in its familiarity. I used to dream that Sasuke-kun would say my name that way.</p><p>No Sasuke-kun didn't say my name with love. I thought there was no emotion in it, but if I listened harder, if I wished for it more, I could hear other things. I could hear the guilt, the longing, the need for me and only me.</p><p>Sasuke-kun dragged me down onto the bed. He tried to dominate me with his kiss, which was so slow and arrogant. Not willing to submit, I moved frantically against him, mashing my lips on his teeth and mouth. It was messily enough that he grabbed my chin to still me before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. When I wouldn't stop, he dug himself in between my legs with a growl. It only paused me for a second. I was fighting him.</p><p>If he didn't have the patients to deal with me he could have pushed me away. He could have told me off. Instead he grabbed me tighter, he moved faster, he pushed harder. His breathing became heavy with our wrestling. I thought I could hear his blood racing in my own head.</p><p>We flipped each other so many times that it wasn't a surprised when we were no longer on the bed but on the floor. This would be how it would have been if I was Naruto. Sasuke-kun wanted that fight.</p><p>I was able to keep him away from me with my strength, but when I heard threads of my clothes start to snap from his yanking, I let them be ripped from my body. The sweat that was now coating us wasn't too much from exertion. I think we were just too excited, though I was still somewhat self conscious. I wouldn't smell like Naruto. I wouldn't feel like Naruto. I wasn't Naruto.</p><p>His hand went hard over one of my breasts, agitating the nipple. Within seconds his mouth was there instead, biting down on it unforgivingly. I yelped, slapping him across the face without really thinking about it. Naruto and Sasuke-kun were always so violent with each other. If I was going to keep up with them, I had to as well. I shoved Sasuke-kun back onto the mattress.</p><p>I clawed at his chest, to see how he would like it. His body contorted, his stomach contracting and his hips pushing me up into the air. Then I put a hand around his throat to keep him down. What air could escape his lips came out in an excited whine. I don't think he would have made such a sound if Naruto was here, but I never seen them alone with each other so I didn't know. I stared down at him, realizing the magnificence of sex was that exchanging of power. I felt powerful. This was what Sasuke-kun and Naruto fought so much for, this dominance that now I had.<br/>I could feel Sasuke-kun, stiff and hard, graze my backside as he blinding raised his hips searching for me. I leaned over him, a way from his searching member, my hair and lips brushing over his reddened cheek. I kissed it, using my chakra to heal the raw skin from my slap. His hand was weak as he pawed at me, trying to hold on but without oxygen it had no power. </p><p>I rubbed myself against him. It was so easy. He was so ready for me. I inserted the tip into me with just a swing of my hips. He groaned. I could feel his pulse through my fingers and inside of me, but I wouldn't let him fully in. He tried, and I just squeezed tighter around his throat.<br/> </p><p>I fucked myself with just the tip of him, closing my eyes as I rocked my hips, wondering if I could hate Sasuke-kun, if I could just use him and erase all of my feelings. I could pretend I had sometimes. I could even pretend now, even with him underneath me. But it seemed I could never really truly.</p><p>I rode him until I came, yelling out loudly and uncaring. He struggled underneath me but I wouldn't let him move. He was just an object to me now. And I thought maybe I could hate him. Maybe I had in fact hated him for a long time now. </p><p>I gasped in breaths once I was finished, letting the aftermath of the orgasm wash over me. I hadn’t even noticed that Sasuke-kun finished as well. For a moment, I almost thought I was by myself and I wasn't sure if I hated that. I released my hand from Sasuke's throat, knowing he was nearing the point were he required more air or he would pass out. I listened to him gulp. The sound was louder than I expected it to be. I felt him trembling beneath me. </p><p>And then he erupted. I was startled by the sudden movement. I realized, as long as we were connected, Sasuke-kun could very easily absorb my chakra without me noticing. He flipped me, slamming me into the mattress, pushing my legs up as he finally inserted himself fully and deep into me. I was overly sensitive and it made me cry out. Now it was his turn. The power had shifted.</p><p>I still thought of Naruto. I wasn't sure what Sasuke-kun preferred, to have the power or to have the power taken away from him. Sauke-kun being a control freak, I would have figured it was the first. Maybe that could explain his attraction for Naruto, or even my attraction for Naruto. Naruto was so strong, that it was the greatest victory to take away his power.<br/>Was it as satisfying for Sasuke-kun to conquer me? Probably not. I couldn't have been nearly as a challenge. I melted too much. I briefly thought that Naruto may even be tighter than me, more enjoyable to fuck.</p><p>I squeezed experimentally, and Sasuke-kun seemed to almost sob, pulling out of me slowly, before ramming back forcefully. It made me think that Sasuke-kun didn't really have the power. He was on top. He was holding me down. But he was helpless. His breath was coming out in shudders.</p><p>He must have gotten tired of our game, for his hand came up to remove the shirt and for a startling second, I was afraid he had forgotten he was with me instead of Naruto. The way he gazed at me afterwards enforced that fear as he stared at me for such a long time. I could see my reflection in his black eye gazing back. He looked so sad. I wondered if when Sasuke-kun had been absorbing my chakra, he accidentally took some of my sorry emotions. </p><p>He kissed me urgently then, as if reading my thoughts. Perhaps Sasuke-kun had always been able to read my thoughts, but I never seemed to be able to read his. His kiss was suffocating and hard. I had to whimper out when the lack of air was too much and he pulled away with a gasp, burying his face into my neck so I could not see anymore of his shamed gaze. He was all heavy around me, crushing me, moving slowly, like the physical manifestation of what I had been carrying in my chest all these years.</p><p>I brought my hands up to him, to hold him, to comfort him, because I couldn't tell if the wetness on my neck was sweat or his tears. I felt him release again, filling me up, so I could take back the sadness I accidentally gave him. Sasuke-kun didn’t have to bare it. I was strong enough to bare it.</p><p>We stayed like that for the rest of the night, him inside me. Sometimes we were still, me almost falling asleep, but something would alert him, and he would move again, in slow, hard movements, making what felt like love to me. His grip on me was so tight I couldn't tell where I ended and he began. </p><p>As I watched the sky from the window slowly became lighter, I knew I was running out of time. I hadn't asked to go with him. I was afraid. We hadn't spoken in hours. Sasuke-kun didn't have long conversations. I felt like he was trying to communicate with me with the way he was holding me, but I still couldn't comprehend. When I did get the courage to speak, I was unsure why it was the question that came out.</p><p>"Do you wish I was Naruto?"</p><p>He had been still for awhile now, but I knew he was awake. He pushed himself up to look at my face, astonished by my stupid question. "No," he answered.</p><p>I felt suddenly embarrassed and couldn't look at him so I kept my eyes on the window. "It's strange," I said, "that he isn't here."</p><p>Sasuke-kun pointed his face to the door, and then the window, before nestling it back into my neck, like he was sure Naruto would explode into the room as well. "He's not here," was all he said. He clutched me a little tighter.</p><p>"Do you feel guilty that he's not here?" Because I did.</p><p>"I always feel guilty," he quietly said.</p><p>Then we were silent. I was too exhausted to speak anymore so I didn't ask any more questions. I had assumed that we wouldn't speak again until it was time to say goodbye. I thought maybe if we did not talk, we wouldn't have to say it, but he spoke again after the long quiet.</p><p>"Do you love him?" There was something different about this question than all the other times he had asked or accused me of this. There wasn't the anger or jealousy. It was more desperate or sad. It was at that time that I realized that Sasuke-kun was just as insecure as Naruto and I.</p><p>I wasn't sure on how to answer the question. I had a feeling that he was hoping I'd say no, like I usually did, but Sasuke-kun feeling so vulnerable to me, I didn't have the heart to lie to him. So I said nothing.</p><hr/><p>For once in his life, Kakashi-sensie wasn't late. Who wasn't there was Naruto, and it just augmented the guilt that I had gathered from the night before. Maybe Naruto had been there all along, watching in despair. </p><p>I didn't dwell too long on Naruto not being present since I was trying hard to stop myself from grabbing onto Sasuke-kun's coat and demanding that he stay. Not in front of Kakashi-sensie. Sasuke-kun didn't like public acts of affection, especially desperate acts of affection. I almost felt like I had gotten through to him somehow the night before. It was so strange that I didn't know how to feel. I had been trying to get closer to Sasuke-kun, but had somehow made myself feel almost indifferent. I didn't know how, as it happened during sex, when two people should be feeling the closest, but I had closed myself up, and only then did I feel like Sasuke-kun had needed me. Like he had needed me more than I needed him. If I only could get that to happen again, without one of us trying to protect ourselves.</p><p>Now I felt normal. Normal as in I was feeling the usual devastation of Sasuke-kun always leaving me. I hated that of me.</p><p>Sasuke-kun talked easily with Kakashi-sensie of his plans to start a new. His voice held relief, as if just no longer being inside the walls of Konoha put him to ease. He had been suffocating in the village. It was wrong for us to make him stay. I wanted him to stay anyway.</p><p>"Must you go?" I wasn't even aware I said the question until I heard my own voice. "Tsunade-sama is just about to finish creating your artificial arm out of Hashirama's cells." </p><p>"I need time to understand my feelings," For a startling second, I thought Sasuke-kun was admitting to his feeling for Naruto and I, right in front of Kakashi-sensie. Then he said "how I view the Shinobi world. This world. Perhaps I'll be able to see things I couldn't see before." Of course.</p><p>But still. I felt the blood rush in my veins. For Sasuke-kun to see things that he couldn't see before, maybe someday he could see what Naruto and I had been trying to show him all this time. It finally gave me the courage to ask the question I had been trying to ask for the past twelve hours.</p><p>"What if I said... I'd go with you?" </p><p>"My sins have nothing to do with you."</p><p>I knew he would say no. I knew it was too late to even try to convince him. It still hurt. Him leaving would always hurt. I let the familiar feeling of shattering go through my body until Sasuke-kun unexpectedly tapped me on the forehead right on my byakugo seal.</p><p>It was a strange action. I hadn't seen it as an act of affection at first, partly because the stab from his fingers was border lined painful, though it was more unsettling from being unexpected than it actually hurting. Also, Sasuke-kun would sooner kill himself than to ever show the simplest of affection in front of anyone, and Kakashi-sensie was staring directly at us.</p><p>But it was the look on his face that explained to me what it was, a look that at first I hadn't thought I had seen before. It was strangely familiar, his eyes soft and a small smile on his lips. He hadn't worn that look since he was seven years old.</p><p>"Maybe next time." He gave a quick glance to Kakashi-sensie, a frown on his face and it oddly looked like he was checking to make sure Kakashi-sensie had seen him stake this claim over me. Then back to me he said "Thank you," though the thank you should have been directed to Kakashi-sensie. He turned away from us, his black cloak billowing behind him as he walked away.</p><p>As he left us, me weak kneed, a harsh Déjà vu echoed in my head from the way he had said "thank you". I watched him until he was nothing more than a black dot, the landscape slowly swallowing him up and away from me. He hadn't actually said "no", I realized. Maybe next time. A promise for 'maybe' which was more than he had ever given me before. It gave me hope.</p><p>He was gone, but this time he gave me hope.</p><hr/><p>Kakashi-sensie took me to a tea shop to get anko dumplings which I think was an act to try to cheer me up. I was surprised that he knew I liked such things as usually we would go get ramen with Naruto's annoying persistence. </p><p>We were silent at the table, and it gave me the impression of awkwardness that I would get when hanging out with my dad. Thankfully Kakashi-sensie was quiet, unlike what my father would have been. We were facing each other at the table, but Kakashi-sensie was staring outside at the passerbyers. It felt unusual to face Kakashi-sensie at a table.</p><p>"My friends used to always come here when were were young," Kakashi-sensie suddenly spoke. "But I never went with them." He turned his head to me but his gaze was on the table rather than at my face. "Probably because I've never been a fan of sweets."</p><p>"We can go somewhere else if you like!" I exclaimed nervously, already at a stand.</p><p>"No. Sakura, please sit down."</p><p>We were here to talk about Sasuke-kun. I knew it. I was reminded of the time my parents tried to talk to me about Sasuke-kun. It had only happened once, because after  that one time I was able to avoid and escape all other conversations. My parents were pretty predictable so it was easy to see where they were going with their words when they wanted to talk, but I was caught by surprise the first time. God, how terrible that had been, and now it was happening with Kakashi-sensie! Why?! Why now? When my parents had tried to do this talk with me it was five years ago. It seemed kind of late to say anything now. Why wasn't Kakashi-sensie talking about this with Naruto? Where was Naruto? He should be here. Naruto deserved this talk just as much as I did!</p><p>What if Naruto followed Sasuke-kun out of the village? That bastard!</p><p>"I wanted to apologize."</p><p>Someone came over to bring us our tea and I held it gratefully as it was something else to stare at than my old teacher.</p><p>"I've never been a good sensei."</p><p>"That's not-"</p><p>"I'm not talking about Sasuke," he interrupted, "or Naruto. Though I was terrible to them in different ways."</p><p>I peered at him cautiously, relieved that this conversation wasn't about Sasuke, but wasn't sure what to make of it.</p><p>"I've never paid much attention to you, Sakura. It was incredibly wrong of me, and by the time I realized what I was doing, I already let Tsunada take over your training. It's too late for me to do much about it now, now that I've somehow become the Hokage. And I know I told you before how you should talk to other people about certain types of problems,"</p><p>Oh God. ‘Certain types of problems.’ I remembered how he saw me kiss Ino. I took a quick sip of hot tea to hide my embarrassment, burning myself.</p><p>"but, instead, I was thinking about what Naruto had said the other day, about how I will be your sensei until I was dead." His eyes smiled at me. "Naruto certainly has a way with his words." He then became serious. "I want you to be comfortable enough to talk to me. I understand it might not be easy for you, not like how it is with Naruto, but it wasn't fair, so I want to be here for you. I won't have time to train you. You will have to work on getting stronger on your own. But I have time to listen."</p><p>I stared down at my tea. Tsunada-sama had done a great job training me, but I had always felt somewhat of a burden to her. She didn't have the time, like Kakashi-sensie was saying. Me having been only a Genin at the time, any sort of training approved me greatly, no matter how little attention I got from Tsunada-sama. At the level that I was currently, Kakashi-sensie wouldn't be able to teach me much, not when he knew so little about my current training already.</p><p>But a sensei wasn't just about training.</p><p>"Thank you," I murmured quietly. "I don't know what to say."</p><p>"That's alright. Say whatever you want to."</p><p>"I was a little bit jealous," I admitted. Hugely jealous. "Of Naruto and Sasuke-kun. And I do feel a little ... uncomfortable talking to you sometimes." I saw the hurt in his eyes, but he wanted me to open up to him, didn't he? "But I will keep this in mind," I nodded my head. "You will always be my sensei. Until you're dead. And you know me being a medic, there's no way I'm letting that happen anytime soon."</p><p>He laughed, and I left the interaction feeling easier than before. One weight felt like it was lifted off my shoulders, among all the others. It had been a distraction from my emotions. Unfortunately it didn't keep them away for long.</p><p>On my way home, I found Naruto.</p><p>He was on the bench overlooking a pond closer to where the Uchiha district used to be. He had been far away from me on my route home. I only saw him because his blond hair was so bright. It took me a moment to reach him, but he didn't acknowledge my foot falls. I sat next to him.</p><p>We sat in silence for a moment before I spoke. "He's le-"</p><p>"I know," Naruto said, voice sounding very much broken. "I caught him on the way out."</p><p>I let out a breath of relief. At least he got to say goodbye.</p><p>"I gave him back his forehead protector, because he's part of the village again." He nodded his head, pursing his lips together.</p><p>"That was so thoughtful! He <em>is</em> part of the village again. You did bring him back." My words didn't seem to be working in comforting however. Naruto was trying to keep himself together, but I was seeing his face fall with every second that went by. I felt the pleasant feeling I had from talking with Kakashi-sensie fade as I gazed at the side of Naruto's profile.</p><p>"Yeah," Naruto replied after some time. "But you know... sometimes I think I was the one that scared him away." He laughed. "I didn't give him enough space. I was too... too much. I should have taken a step back."</p><p>I stared at Naruto. "He would have left anyway."</p><p>"I don't know."</p><p>"I probably would have been the one to fuck it up if I'm not the one that has already!"</p><p>Naruto looked at me then and smiled. "No. No Sasuke would have stayed for you if he thought he could." He turned his gaze back to the water. "It was me."</p><p>I shook my head. "I don't think so."</p><p>The corner of his lips twitched, showing he did not believe me. "Thanks Sakura-chan."</p><p>We sat in silence. This was different. Naruto always had more faith than I. It could just be how fresh this new wound was for him, but still, this wasn't like him. It was making me second guess everything.</p><p>Naruto took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Once he was finished he asked. "What do I do now?"</p><p>What would we do now? We had spend five years of our lives chasing after Uchiha Sasuke. We had <em>won </em>that battle.</p><p>"You'll train," I said. "You'll get better. You'll become the Hokage."</p><p>Naruto laughed. "Of course I'll do all those things, but what do I do with this... feeling?" I didn't know so I stayed silent. I suddenly felt like Naruto was sinking down into some invisible hole beside me when he said, "God, he was like... a fucking beautiful hurricane that came through my life, ripping and tearing and now all I have left is the debris." I took his hand quickly which had been resting lifelessly beside him. He looked at me, staring with his heartbreaking eyes. "Don't leave me," he whispered. I reached for his face and carefully guided him down to my shoulder. He took a harsh breath. "Shit..."</p><p>I almost had. Sasuke-kun hadn't let me come with him, but I could have tried harder. I could have convinced him the previous night with him so desperately inside me. I could have followed him just now, waited to reveal myself until we were too far away from the village for him to turn me back. But how could I? How could I leave poor Naruto behind?! I couldn't. I had to stay here. He needed me to stay here. Guilt washed over me as I tightened my hold on him, a sob escaping his body.</p><p>With sudden shame I confessed. “No. I... I went to Sasuke-kun’s house last night.”</p><p>Naruto was staring at me now but I couldn’t bare to look at him anymore. I had my guilt tearful face on the pound now. “I thought I could convince him to take me with him. I went alone, without you. I stupidly tried to seduce him. We had sex. I should have brought you. It wasn’t fair! I wanted to take him away from you!”</p><p>Naruto was silent and I felt the familiar feeling of hating myself. It was cut short as he let his hand land on my shoulder somewhat heavy before letting it slide off.</p><p>“Sakura-chan. It’s fine.” A short laugh escaped his lips. “I don’t care. I don’t care about stuff like that any more. I care about the both of you. And I told you before it isn’t really a sex thing, I just ... ahh, sick in the head I think.” I saw him grin. “I’m not mad at you two for fucking without me.” He sighed. “I’d probably be mad if you went with him though, because then I’d be all alone.” He looked at the sky. “But I’m not mad at you for trying. I would have tried too, except I have these stupid chunin exams coming up and I want to stay and be Hokage. That’s why I tried to make Sasuke stay. So I could have him, and you, and be Hokake, and near my friends. And that’s selfish of me. So it’s okay if you are selfish. We’re both selfish. Now the bastard’s gone again. Neither of us will probably get what we want. This is what we probably deserve.”</p><p>“But he’ll come back,” the statement sounded too much like a question.</p><p>Naruto just made a huffing sound.</p><p>"I'm sorry," I finally managed to say.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>“For almost leaving.”</p><p>I couldn't tell if the sound he made was a laugh or a sob.</p><p>"You're not alone. You haven't been for a while now, you knucklehead." I ran my fingers through his hair, his tears wet on my neck. "And you never will be again."</p><p>He lifted his head, taking a shuddering, calming breath and looked into my eyes. I thought he would kiss me. I would have let him, but instead he turned away. "Thank you, Sakura-chan. Thank you for being my friend." I remembered that one night, when he had blurted out he loved Sasuke-kun and I, but him simply calling me his friend now made me feel like all that was over. It made me wonder if we were a thruple anymore. Of course we weren't. Sasuke-kun had left.</p><p>I rolled my eyes. "You are always thanking me for being your friend."</p><p>"Because I'm thankful!" he said in a notably brighter voice. "I'm expressing myself!"The heaviness and despair seemed to leave his eyes, but I knew he was just covering it up. The energy that could be found constantly radiating around Naruto was but a security blanket, to keep him from falling apart.</p><p>I got up and offered him my hand. "Come on," and I walked Naruto home.</p><p>When we made it to his door he didn't enter right away, but instead turned to me. His gaze didn't quite meet my face. "Naruto." He looked at me then. "Um," I almost felt myself blushing. "Where do we stand? I mean, even if Sasuke-kun left are we still a-"</p><p>"Yes," Naruto answered immediately. "He's coming back, you know. So of course!"</p><p>"Okay, but until he does come back what do we do ... I mean, should we have some sort of rules?"</p><p>"You mean about the sex?"I did blush then. I know I did. "I mean," Naruto scratched his head. "If you don't wanna, without Sasuke, I'll understand. If you don't think it's fair." I had never been fair. He waved his hand. "Yeah, that's fine. I mean I got my hands, right? Well I got the one hand."</p><p>"Goodbye, Naruto!" I said before he could explain to me anymore what he did with his hand.</p><p>“Goodbye,” he answered, with a sweet and affectionate smile. I left him, and when I left him, I still had some hope for the three of us.</p><p>But I had been wrong.</p>
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